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Food Friday: K & O Grocery Shop!

Posted by | July 23, 2010 | BAMBINOS, FOOD | 9 Comments

Owen & Kyle Grocery Shopping, July 2010

I’ve been taking these boys grocery shopping with me for the past (almost) six years. Don’t get me wrong— it is also true that for the past (almost) six years I have actively and aggressively AVOIDED taking these boys grocery shopping with me. There have been phases — long phases — (honestly, much of the past six years) — where I would do pretty much anything to get to the grocery store without them.   The fact is, they have been more than two handfuls in the grocery store. Anyone who has ever tried to do serious grocery shopping with rambunctious and precocious and super-self-confident and active and curious and mischievous and spirited twin boys under the age of six knows what I’m talking about: it is nearly impossible. I have, on many more than one occasion, broken down crying in the middle of the supermarket. The occasions that I’ve gotten through unfazed have been extraordinarily rare. They want to do everything, touch everything, push the cart, get in the cart, get out of the cart, slam the cart into anything physically possible to slam it into. They talk to everyone they see. They have a zillion questions about everything. They are fascinated with the lobsters (seafood department); they are obsessed with asking for cookies (bakery department); they are fixated on the music-playing-greeting-cards; and they are enamored with those weigh-your-own-and-sticker-your-own computer things in the produce department. They want to climb into the freezers and see their breath. They want to count how many brands of toothpaste are on the shelf. They want to chat-it-up with the folks at the deli counter. They want to read the ingredient lists on just about every item in the store. They love the baggers in the check out line and want to “help” them bag our stuff. And they are just — seriously — very, very high energy. It is like a double-wide-tornado has hit the place and they are barreling through there like two little maniacs. They have just been really, really hard to handle. And it makes real grocery shopping (I mean anything more than a quick in-and-out grab-an-item-or-two-and-go food shopping trip) next to impossible. Anyone who has been grocery shopping with me and them over these years knows what I’m talking about [hello MorMor!!!!!!!!]. For most of the past six years, whenever I’ve come home from grocery shopping with them, Braydon has been flabbergasted. “You took them both with you???”  He has often asked in utter disbelief. I have — for the most part — rolled my eyes and then vented to him for a solid 10 minutes about how I will “NEVER” do it again. In addition, I usually have at least one insane story to tell, and numerous other observations, challenges, and/or notes-to-self to report upon after any food shopping trip with them. I love these boys. With a passion. But, seriously, grocery shopping with them has been TOUGH.

For the record: I have always been fully aware and completely grateful for the remarkable fact that they virtually never— ever— ask for anything at all —- and never have — I mean nothing at all —- while we grocery shop. For that I have always been truly thankful. The rest of their grocery shopping selves, however, leaves a lot to be desired. It has been, simply, a major challenge to food shop with them. I could split them up (they are always much better when separated) and I’ve done that during periods of time in the past years (i.e., taken one with me one week, and then taken the other one the next week), but it never seems to stick (partly because it is just pragmatically hard to figure out how to have childcare coverage for one while I take the other, and partly because they both want to go so badly). Since Meera joined the mix the whole challenge has been even that much more challenging.

I’ve gone back-and-forth about it in my mind over the years. On one hand, why bother bringing them? I mean, they have plenty of life to live and plenty of time to figure out (or not) how to grocery shop. No biggie. Why put myself through torture? On the other hand, I have always been pulled toward bringing them grocery shopping. For one thing, they love it (which is shocking, since I spend at least half the time yelling at them, threatening them, and shooting them the hairy eyeball). But, go figure (?), they really, really do love grocery shopping. And I figure, for how long will my boys want to do that with me??? I also (as ridiculous as this probably sounds) have always wanted to bring them up food shopping so that they are fully prepared when it is time for them to do it on their own someday. I am, after-all, trying to raise up progressive liberated manly men. They should know how to grocery shop — and I want it to be in them from the start… not taught to them frantically in some crash-course the night before they’re leaving for college. Seriously, I want my boys to have gone grocery shopping their whole lives. And, of course, there is the time factor. I mean, I grocery shop once a week — and it takes a couple of hours for the whole entire round-trip all-included she-bang. That is two hours that they could spend with me, or without me, and whenever humanly possible I will always choose the with me over the without me. So, there it is.

And, here comes the noteworthy point that this has all been leading to….

Drumroll please…

This summer I’ve been making it a point to bring them grocery shopping with me. I have a routine where I’ve been going on Monday afternoons. Given the way my summer routine is rolling, it just happens to work out that I can relatively easily pick them up from Margie and take them food shopping with me while Meera is napping at home. It has become a weekly routine for us three this summer. And, I need to make a note that FOR THE PAST MONTH THEY HAVE BEEN TRULY A PLEASURE AND A JOY TO SHOP WITH. Yes, it is true. So very blissfully wonderfully true: K & O have been awesome to grocery shop with. And that is huge. I mean, HUGE!, especially considering our sordid history with this. They seem to have turned some sort of corner right around age six. And while it would still be a lot easier to shop without them than with them (or, at a minimum, split them up), they have actually been quite a lovely duo to shop with, and — believe it or not — actually quite helpful. They each take one of the smaller sized carts; they push them around relatively civilly; they load them up with the items from our list; and they put everything onto the conveyor in the check-out line when it is time to pay up. They even help bag when we don’t have a bagger in our lane. And (and this still shocks even myself) they are trustworthy in the parking lot (that one is a biggie). I’m not holding my breath or counting on this sticking forever— but my hopes are high and I’d probably wager quite a bit at this point on my boys’ grocery shopping future potential and promise.

This is a huge deal — huge huge deal — here in J-M-land. And while some of this is surely developmental (something about turning six?), I’m (legitimately or not) giving myself a huge pat on the back for this one, because, quite honestly, I consider this to be one of my greatest life accomplishments to-date. No joke.

9 Comments

  • emlancer says:

    Wow, I can completely imagine your boys at the store. Everything you've described makes it sound like they are learning something every step of the way at the store. That is such a cool thing. Over the top difficult for you, but cool for them.

    You wondered how long they will want to go to the grocery store with you. We go to the grocery store as a family every week. 16 years old, 13, and 3. It's just a family thing we like to do together.

    Erin

  • MorMor says:

    You write such a good story (absolutly true story). I'm laughing out loud. I will be happy to tag along one day in the near future to experience grocery shopping with them. Seeing is believing in my book and I'll have to see it to believe it!!

  • thlsralv says:

    Good for you for sticking with bringing them at least SOME of the time prior to this! I agree that it's an important skill to have for both genders, although decidedly not monopolized by the progressive men…my very conservative husband is better/faster than I am at it. I like to think of it as more of a common-sense life skill than something that needs to be categorized as a progessive, liberated thing. 😉

  • momof3 says:

    No twins here but at one point, the kids were newborn, 2, and 4 and if we wanted to have food and toilet paper, I had no choice but to take them all. It was and continues to be interesting to say the least.

    And, it is also fun to experience the changes as they mature and can actually be helpful!

  • NancyL says:

    Heather,

    For all of the reasons you have pointed out it is good that you have gutted it out despite how much more difficult it makes the process. I think that what you've described is that K & O have just reached that next level of maturity.

    One day you think you can't take it one more time and WOW – it's over…..and a bad memory……

    Hang in there and all the best! Nancy

  • gon_hikn93 says:

    My favorite story still stands from the old blog as the one when you have to say "No Tongues" to them kissing eachother in the freezer aisle! HA!!!

    I know get how much joy and relief and SUCCESSFUL it can feel over the little things. This weekend I actually got to use the bathroom by myself. FIRST TIME IN OVER 6 MONTHS! With no little one doing his darndest to drive me insane… I mean… make sure I'm ok… OY! Totally felt like some sort of developmental milestone!

  • Jonez says:

    Yay on the boys maturing & making grocery shopping a breeze. Don't take this comment offensively – – but have you considered having the groceries delivered? Does your local store offer that? That small price can be worth the piece of mind & added QT at home with the kiddos.

  • Wow!! Good for you! I avoid the grocery store at all cost- even for myself!! My hubby does the shopping and he is pretty good about taking "helpers" along.

  • kate.m.vickery says:

    I didn’t have time to comment on this when I first read it. Thanks for sharing this, I’m glad grocery shopping is fun for all now!!! Also I enjoyed reading this, thanks for writing varied “Food Fridays” entries, each one is a unique and interesting to read.

    – Kate

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