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May 8th: K & O’s 8th Birthday (4 of 4)

Posted by | June 01, 2012 | Uncategorized | 11 Comments
Bday cupcakes 2

And then there is their “actual birthday” — that’s what they call it; May 8th. Which, after all the birthday party hoopla, is always relatively low-key. It is anchored, though, with a couple of big traditions– one at the very start of the day, and one at the very end of the day. Tradition #1: end of the bed presents. This year Kyle got a trumpet (rented!), and trumpet lessons. And Owen got an electric piano (with earphones– thank God!), and piano lessons. They’ve been waiting for years to get to take music lessons. We held off purposefully, waiting until we thought they were really, really ready. And they are really, really ready. And they are LOVING trumpet and piano!

Bday presents - lessons

And they each got a present from Meera too~

Bday Meera's gift K Bday Meera's gift O

And MorMor and MorFar gave them their first ever tickets to Fenway Park — they’ll be headed to their first game at Fenway this August with MorFar. I love that the few special really big gifts they get are so thoughtful and lovingly given.

This year, for the first time, we kept K & O home from school for the day. I just couldn’t bear to send them off on their birthday; I felt like I needed to stay close to them that day; so I took the day off from work and spent the day with them and Meera and MorMor and MorFar. At their birthday party K & O had received tons of gift cards to their favorite store on the planet– Dick’s Sporting Goods. They had a lot of money to spend, and that’s what they wanted to do on their birthday — go to Dick’s and use some of their gift card money. And so we did. They bought a new baseball bad, they each got a lacrosse stick, and they picked out new sporty outfits in just their style (and clothes they know that their mother would probably never have bought for them! ha!). And then MorMor and MorFar took us out to lunch at K & O’s current favorite restaurant — Kome — for hibachi.

BDay lunch

They were supposed to have a baseball game that night, but it got rained out. So we had pizza at home, and put a good dent in the couple of dozen cupcakes that we had planned to bring for their whole Little League team~

Bday cupcakes

May 8, 2012 ended with Tradition #2: sky lanterns, in honor of Kyle and Owen’s birthparents, sent out to the universe, from us, to them, with so many wishes, so much gratitude, and such depth of mixed emotion.


Bday Lanterns 1 Bday Lanterns 2

Bday Lanterns 3

It is ok to have it be everything. It is ok to go all out. It is ok to feel sad and happy at the same time. It is ok for there to be all sorts of really different ways to express love for another. These are some of the lessons I’m learning from Kyle and Owen’s birthdays. What a privilege it is to be their mother.

Happy 8th Birthday Kyle and Owen!


  • Ashley says:

    Just beautiful !!! Love everything you did, Heather! It is all is so special. I don’t think you ever need to feel badly for wanting to go all out to celebrate your children’s lives. We do the same for each of our kids, but it does take on an extra emotion for all of us during my oldest son’s celebration of life, as he is now a 3 yr cancer survivor at the ripe age of 11. We are always so grateful that we get to celebrate another year with him on this earth especially when we came so close to losing him.
    I’m so thrilled that K & O had so much fun celebrating their 8 th year of life! Everyone looked like they (literally!) had a ball! Next year they can entertain their guests with a mini trumpet/piano concert! And, wow, those baseball cupcakes are just so cute!! Well done, Heather!

  • Kat says:

    Kat Says:

    June 1st, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    I love your posts. They give me such great memories of my own sons and their birthdays although your far outshine what I was able to pull together. You are so creative and so thoughtful. I did the same – wore a light blue dress that was son #1s favorite dress even though I didn’t like it any more – it was a spring dress, and it was January… Your love and your hopes and your dreams and your devotion to your boys and your family shines through loud and clear. Heather you are an amazing person and I wish I lived hundreds of miles to the east so perhaps I could get to know you. I know times can be rough but remember how high the highs are and hang in there.

    I don’t care if you post this or not – your choice but I just wanted you to know someone out there in the web universive thinks you are one great lady and you made a another woman out there very proud of you and all you have done not only for your family but your students and society. Thank you.

  • lo says:

    Beautiful….I read every word and appreciate the love shared with family and friends. I know some of the feelings that I have had at times are similar to what you wrote. Happy Birthday…a little late…to Kyle and Owen….and also Meara.
    P.S. I wish I had an orange birthday shirt (no number) and a ball party too.
    P.S.S. Enjoy the Sox game guys.

  • shannoncl says:

    Oh my gosh I’m exhausted…..! Amazing. I love learning from you. LOVE it.

    your words are true.

    (now i’ve elvis costello ringing through my brain…)

  • Kate says:

    Such a sweet birthday – I’m especially moved by your wonderful traditions. May K & O continue to enjoy being 8 and using all their new gifts :)
    – Kate
    P.S. Those cupcakes are awesome!

  • Sarah says:

    I just love you all so much. Not a post goes by that I don’t choke back tears and find myself with goose bumps. You are SUCH an amazing family and SUCH an inspiration. All the best to you! Keep on keepin’ on!!


  • Wow! Just wow! What an awesome birthday party. And such a true representation (post 1) of how so many of us adoptive parents feel. Thank you for putting it into words and for sharing your HUGE celebrations with us! You just killed it, mama! Those are some beautiful, happy children!

  • Asiaha says:

    I admire your family..

  • heather says:

    Happy Birthday K & O! These birthday celebrations are such gifts! As a mom, I’m tired just looking at those photos so I can’t imagine how you pull it off. I’m so impressed with every little detail – the superballs in the pinata? Genius! Our birthdays are much smaller affairs around here, but your posts inspire me to include the littlest details that my children will notice and enjoy.

  • jonez says:

    Seriously had me teary eyed. A beautiful birthday celebration. I’m curious how you’ll host it next year in your new living quarters.

  • Anna from Turin says:

    You give great birthday parties and my son would love to have one like K&O’s, but alas
    he celebrates his birthday on Christmas Day (and I don’t know if that was chosen as his birth date because his name is Abenezer….).

    We became a family when he was 3 1/2 yrs old. It wasn’t until he went to elementary school that he asked for a birthday party with his classmates. Three years ago we held the first birthday party in January, a month after his actual birthday at an indoor playground and will continue until he finishes elementary school next year.

    These birthday parties create great memories for our children, who have few or no memories of their lives before they became our children. They will cherish them forever.

    Keep celebrating your children and the great fortune we have had to call them our children.

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