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Adoption Day 2014

Posted by | February 01, 2014 | BAMBINOS | 8 Comments

Adoption Day School 2

Adoption Day 2014.

We always make a big deal of our Adoption Day. We celebrate it as a whole family, and while there is a special emphasis on Kyle and Owen, of course, it is a huge day of celebration, remembrance, and reflection for all five of us. This year was our 9th.

The days leading up are always a bit rocky. Adoption is nothing if not complex. And for us, this marker in time brings it right to the surface: the good, the bad, the joy, the sorrow, the elation, the grief, the pride, the humility, the beauty, the challenge, the connection, the isolation, the rich complexity of adoption.

Each year is different for us, and we sort of take it as it comes and try to plan what feels right year-by-year. (For some posts on our past Adoption Days, click here.) This year, Kyle and Owen wanted to have a celebration in school — specifically, they wanted me to read their adoption story book to the third grade, and then have “a big huge cake!” So, that is what we did yesterday afternoon at the Swain School.

Braydon and I went in, we pulled Meera from class, and the five of us told our story and answered lots of questions from Kyle and Owen’s third grade friends. Then we ate the “big huge cake” and drank milk, and — I think — made quite a lasting impression on a bunch of very sweet and very curious 8 & 9 year olds (oh how I’d have loved to have been a fly on the wall to hear what they all told their parents at home that night!!!). It was pretty awesome.

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Adoption Day School 1

Last night we went out to dinner at a very nice restaurant that Braydon and I love (but had never taken the bambinos to until now) — Blue Grillhouse and Wine Bar.

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The only other time we’ve gone to such an upscale restaurant with our kids was six months ago, in South Carolina, when we took them to Saltus. That was a very amazing night, so I was worried a bit about the bar being set way too high. But we pulled it off, and the bambinos were absolutely in their element with the high-end food and over-the-top service and fancy-shmancy everything.

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They loved it. I loved enjoying it with them. For me, there is something just awesome about seeing Owen eat with abandon his “Crispy Calamari with Honey, Ginger, and Soy” (his choice for an appetizer, he found it himself on the menu and requested it); Kyle devour his “Classic Caesar Salad”; and all three of them discover the very real difference between a wonderful wet-aged ribeye with herb butter, and an exquisite grilled dry-aged bone-in filet mignon. Suffice it to say, Braydon and I ended up eating the ribeye. đŸ˜‰

It was such a fun, and delicious, night.

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This morning we woke up for the grand finale of this year’s celebration: a trip to Sky Zone, where we all jumped on trampolines for a couple of hours of non-stop, high-intensity, high-energy, jumping fun.

Skyzone Logo With R

We had never been there before, but Braydon and I had planned this knowing it was just perfect for this year. The closest one is about an hour away from us, but it was well worth the drive. This was the bambinos’ kind of place, let me tell you, they were in heaven. Heaven heaven heaven!

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And, as an added benefit, Braydon and I got quite the workout.

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It was so much fun jumping together.

A highlight for Kyle and Owen was the basketball hoops—

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And a highlight for Meera was the foam block pit (she must have jumped in there 100 times). Although, toward the end, our 5-year-old just couldn’t keep up with her brothers any longer, and we caught her lying down several times, just out of absolute pure exhaustion!) —

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~ ~ ~

Our server at Blue last night was an adoptee. He told us that right away (I suspect, in fact, they might have purposefully placed us with him; Braydon had notified the restaurant of our special occasion when he had made the reservation). The server a really nice guy, and he was very inquisitive about our family, and we bonded with him right away. He told us that his family had never done anything special to celebrate, or even acknowledge, his and his sister’s Adoption Day. He had nothing but wonderful things to say about his parents and his own adoption story, but he admitted to me that he was pretty envious of our kids “having a mother who makes this happen for them, a mother who makes it a big deal” (his quote, not mine). At one point, when the boys and Braydon had left the table to go to the restroom, I said to our server, “It is funny that you say you wish your family had made a big deal of your Adoption Day, because my only worry is that someday my kids will tell me that they wish I hadn’t made such a big deal of it.” He stopped what he was doing, leaned down and put his hand on my shoulder, and said, “That’s not going to happen. Trust me.”

It was a really touching moment for me. I feel like I kind of needed to hear that, and it meant a lot to me that he said it. I hope he’s right. At this point, I have every indication from K & O that he is.

~ ~ ~

Adoption Day 2014 is now coming to a close.

We’ve got three exhausted bambinos on our hands tonight. And slowly but surely the leftovers of the “big huge cake” are disappearing from the table in our dorm’s lounge. The Lehigh students who live around us have discovered that they, too, love Adoption Day! — they get some good cake and organic milk boxes out of the deal!

Yup, we make a big deal of it. Because, after all, you know what? It is a big deal. When you’re a family like ours, when you have all the tough stuff that comes with the reality that is adoption (and there is a lot of it, and it is a daily part of it)… well, then… you’ve gotta take every chance you can to celebrate the beauty and joy that is adoption too. Once a year, I think it is ok for us to go all out to place emphasis on the truly awesome aspects of adoption.

Yes, adoption is tough.

And, adoption is love.

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8 Comments

  • Nicola says:

    I always think your Adoption Days are so special- this one’s no exception. Also I feel that the fact that the boys choose to share their adoption celebration with their whole class must make you feel pretty good about their confidence/comfort/identity and the effect of this celebration? Or maybe that was just my take on it? xoN

    Ps love the photo of you and Meera jumping, such a good reflection of the way you parent!

  • Hope Stevens says:

    Congratulations! I think it’s great that you make such a big deal of Adoption Day….I bet you’ll be able to read Kyle and Owen and tell if it becomes something they don’t want made into a big deal.

    And wow, that Sky Zone place looks amazing and something my kids SO need this winter to burn off some energy! Funny thing is, I looked it up and there’s one coming to the next town over from us here in CT…opening end of Feb. Yay!!!

    Take care,
    Hope

  • Asiaha says:

    Happy Adoption Day Kyle and Owen!!!! :-)

  • Brittany says:

    Happy Adoption Day! I think your family does an excellent job of handling adoption issues and celebrating it, too. :)

  • Stacey says:

    Happy Adoption Day!

    I realized we missed our first one this past December. It’s is 4 days before Christmas day so it’s kind of a crazy time. I hope to have a little celebration too because it is special. Do you celebrate the finalization of the adoption or the day you brought the boys home?

    • Heather says:

      We celebrate our Adoption Day as the anniversary of the day we were united as a family. Jan 31 is the day (2005) Braydon and I landed in Haiti and permanently took Kyle and Owen from the orphanage.

  • Tracy R says:

    As my daughters get older (they are now in fifth grade) they have begun to feel differently about our Family Day and don’t want a big celebration. As they’ve grown and are able to better process their story it is impossible for them to celebrate publicly because they (at least for now) they are dealing with the things they lost. Like you I’ve always let them decide what we want to do to mark the day and this year they just wanted to talk about their birthparents and the details of what happened at the agency on the day we became a family. They were very curious about the sadness and how difficult it was. I am so glad that they are able to articulate those feelings and fears and so glad that we have this day where we can process it however they feel the need to. That’s why I think family days (or adoption day) are so important!

  • Kate says:

    Happy Adoption Day Kyle and Owen, Meera, Heather and Braydon! (not sure where my other comment went!) Sounds like a a wonderfully perfectly suited day!! I like the server envy how you make an extra effort to celebrat e Adoption and Adoption Day — it is so important and you are being so mindful of what is right at the time. I agree wholeheartedly with your server’s comment, with reassurance that it’s not going to happen, K & O wishing you hadn’t gone all out. I reckon these are memory keepers to pave the way for the future. Thank you so so much for keeping your blog open to all of us onlookers/blog friends. Jumping away so fun!!
    – Kate

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