Owen is such a messy eater. You’ve never seen anything like it. He is fully engaged with his food. The drippier and stickier and messier the better. His favorite season to eat in is summer. He can go shirtless and let the watermelon juice drizzle in streams all the way down his body. He doesn’t mind being hosed off. He’s a total, total lovable slob. The polar opposite of his bro.
Tonight K & O ate all but 2 pieces of a large cheese pizza. That is 3 big slices each! (and they each drank a bottle of root beer too). Braydon and I have always joked about how we’ll be having to order them each a large pizza of their own when the boys are teenagers… I think it is coming sooner than we’d think!!!
Dear Readers,
We are mindful that the vast majority of the world has not the riches that we do. That reality looms large in our family. Haiti, especially, is always close to our heart. And people are starving there. Right now. Lots and lots of people. But what can we do? Please click here. Please consider donating directly, or — consider sponsoring our friend Corey who is running a half marathon on April 4 to raise money for Heartline.
Thanks for reading,
HBJ
Some mamas out there do some pretty incredible stuff for their kids’ lunches. Check out this, this, this, this, this, or this as just a few of many examples out there in the blogosphere. These amazing (maybe slightly crazy?!– I say that affectionately) mamas get really into their kids’ lunch-making. I get it. I actually totally, totally get it. [tidbit sidenote — Confession: I am absolutely convinced, knowing myself as I do, and knowing my own disturbing tendency to lean slightly (well, o.k., maybe heavily) toward the Type-A-over-zealous-personality-type side of the spectrum, that if I weren’t totally strapped for time, I’d probably be the proud owner of one of these crazy-lunch-making-blogs too]. As it stands, I simply don’t have the time/energy/desire to go completely over-the-top in the lunch-making realm… (and I am working on that Type-A-over-zealous-personality thing) so, instead, I just drop in on these sorts of blogs from time to time out of pure curiosity and utter amazement (and to remind myself –for better or for worse– of what I could have been). As for K & O’s school lunches… well, I have a love-hate relationship with the whole ball of wax. It is such a chore to unpack and repack their lunches every night (any lunch-packing person out there understands). On the other hand, I really like being in control of what they’re eating and I get some sort of genuine pleasure out of providing their food for them — nourishing them body and soul with it. So my feelings about their school lunch-making fluctuate back-and-forth. I have nothing but positive feelings, however, about the laptop lunch system. These bento box style containers (see below) make prepping their lunches interesting for me (without going overboard with tons of bells-and-whistles). And I like knowing that we’re using all re-usable stuff instead of adding tons of plastic baggies and saran wrap to the landfills. Usually the boys have “yogurt lunch” (as mentioned in prior post) once a week, and “thermos lunch” (hot soup, stew, pasta, or leftovers of some kind) once a week. But at least 3 days a week they have “regular lunch” (the bento boxes). Here is a sampling of the kinds of “regular lunch” school lunches that I’m packing up for my boys these days.
clockwise from upper left~~ apple slices; their current favorite cookies (Country Choice Organic Iced Oatmeal); “squeezy yogurt” (as they call it — their current favorite: Horizon Organic Yogurt ‘Tuberz’); baby carrots; “special rolls” (whole wheat wrap rolled up with hummus and shredded cheese)
*
green peppers, cherry tomatoes, shredded carrots with honey mustard dip; strawberries and blueberries; Annie’s Honey Bunny Grahams; ham & cheese on whole wheat*
fresh pears (they love pears, especially when I peel them!); puffed corn; grapes; turkey & cheese on whole wheat bun*
Annie’s Peace Pasta (mentioned in post from yesterday… strangely they’ll eat this at room temperature — I say “strangely” because normally they insist on stuff like this going in a hot thermos); mandarin oranges; baby banana; cheese stick; red peppers & blanched green beans with ranch dip
*
Granny Smith apples and red pears; Fruit U Bu fruit roll up (a special treat!); “squeezy yogurt”; baby carrots & cherry tomatoes; sesame nut butter & jelly on wheat (their school is completely a nut-free zone, so we need to use sesame nut butter, which I personally think is some pretty nasty stuff… interestingly, however, the boys don’t mind it at all, and Owen has actually decided he prefers it to peanut butter [??!!!!go figure?!])*
“Crackers & Cheese Lunch” (a fav!): watermelon; baby carrots; “syrian bar” (K & O twinspeak for ‘cereal bar’ — they are absolutely obsessed with / addicted to cereal bars — their current favorite is the brand seen here– Health Valley Organic Apple Cobbler); assorted crackers; assorted cheeses: Parmesan (or, in K & O twinspeak, “CRUNCH” — a big old chunk of expensive Parmesan — this is their absolute favorite favorite favorite cheese and the more expensive the better), mozzarella cheese stick, Colby-Jack cubes, and a nice little brick of extra sharp cheddar (the sharper the better — this is their next favorite cheese after parmesan)*
grapes; “zucchini bread sandwich” (two pieces of zuch bread with cream cheese in between); a tomato; hummus & cheddar on wheat*
This is a rare lunch day — when I have the gumption to actually pack two totally different lunches according to their own separate tastes and preferences…. Here goes~~ KYLE’S LUNCH (ON LEFT): couscous with carrots, raisins, and chick peas; red peppers; hummus & crackers; grapes. OWEN’S LUNCH (ON RIGHT): steamed baby carrots & steamed broccoli with honey mustard dip; turkey and honey mustard on wheat (notice the honey mustard theme!); cheese stick; grapes.
I have always been a mediocre cook. And a terrible meal planner. Maybe this is due to my upbringing as a man, or maybe it’s due to my experiences around food as a child, or maybe I am not that creative, or maybe food is not how I sustain my family. I am not sure, and maybe it does not matter. I am just not a cook – and definitely not a chef.
As I see it, cooks are people able to execute a recipe that has been prescribed, whether for macaroni and cheese, or tuna nicoise. Cooks can open Fannie Farmer and generally get dinner on the table. Cooks are who you call when you are hungry and you need to eat. And don’t get me wrong, cooks make the world go round and without cooks we are lost.
However, a Chef is a person who have a sense of food as art, life and love.
For chefs, food is more than what comes together at the end and that you put on the plate, the things that you bless at the dinner table. For a chef, food is creation. There is magic there; the essence of life as it unfolds. There is a gift of the generous heart. The gift of love as the pan heats up, the oil bubbles, the garlic goes in, the lemon and parsley sizzle and shrivel and the air fills with an aroma to lift you up.
For a chef, it’s not about making dinner, it’s about giving of themselves to the act of creation, about giving to the ones they love. It’s about the love for humanity.
Heather is a chef.
When we were first together, fresh out of college, as it related to food, at the time, I had only one simple request: that the fridge always be full. There is meaning in that statement, and it did not escape her in the slightest. She could not cook, or even boil water, but that was a commitment she made to me. It was not that she was going to make me supper every night, or anything like that, it was a simple gift to me.
Years later, after she had learned how to execute a recipe, something amazing happened. I don’t know when it was exactly, and never realized it at the time, but food for Heather became something much more. And she took it much farther. It had become life, a gift of love, and a creative expression of her engagement in the world. And this is on top of her other work.
People loved to come over for supper, and Heather always made something they would love. Something filling in the deepest way. Something that fed more than their bellies. Something that built a relationship, that crafted a friendship, that opened hearts and enhanced spirits. It’s what you wish for when you eat at a friend’s house. In fact, there has been only one other person with whom we have experienced that kind of feeling. Dinners at our house were nights to remember and nights of love and laughter and tears and hugs.
And then with K & O, food took on an entirely new meaning.
Sustaining life, building life, feeding the soul. Feeding love, baby spoonful, by baby spoonful, attempting to fill up a bottomless pit in need. Attempting to remedy so much that needed help. With time, thought, care a love, things got better. And although certain parts will never overflow, the shrinking bellies could sleep soundly at night, calmed, filled, loved and comforted.
Now in our life some of the gorgeous dishes of past have fallen to the wayside with the limits of time and energy. But in their place has sprung up something new. A new kind of sustenance, a new kind of meaning in food. The beauty of food has taken on a richer meaning, a whole life meaning.
In creating food, now with her children along side her, Heather has brought new meaning to keeping the fridge full. She is teaching her little boys (and soon will teach her daughter) how to give love through the creative expression of putting food on the table.
The essence of love in the full plate before us.
K, O, and M each have their individual favorite foods. But if I had to say one favorite food for all three J-M bambinos combined it would definitely be YoBaby yogurt. Hands down. All of them love it. I mean, LOVE IT. The runner-up food would be pasta– specifically (if we’re narrowing the field to favorites for the whole threesome), Annie’s Peace Pasta. [little tidbit sidenote: we’ve just started this pasta with Meera recently and she loves it — it is the perfect first pasta for baby because of the shape of it; almost like Cheerios’s… would be very hard for baby to choke on it, which makes it a great starter pasta for babies!!!] Anyway, back to YoBaby!… I buy 3-4 six-packs of YoBaby yogurt each week. That’s a lot of yogurt. The threesome love every YoBaby flavor, including the “Fruit & Cereal” flavors. For Meera, YoBaby is a meal (breakfast, or sometimes lunch); for the boys YoBaby is a snack. But it is not uncommon for one (or both) of them to eat 3-4 over the course of one day. And… they have a YoBaby for “dessert” after dinner almost every single night these days. Once in a while I pack them “yogurt lunch” for school — but this involves a full-size yogurt (with ‘fixings’ to stir in: granola of some sort, cut up fresh fruit, and sometimes dried fruit). Kyle has recently begun requesting Brown Cow Cream Top yogurts for “yogurt lunch,” and he and Owen both love that stuff. But nothing, nothing, compares to YoBaby!
Chocolate Chip Coconut Bars, just out of the ovenK & O love to cook and bake. They are good little ‘cookers’ and ‘chefers’ (as they call themselves)! As long as they are behaving, I actually really enjoy cooking with them. The clean-up is always extraordinary after they’ve been in the kitchen, and I’ve got to keep a very tight reign on them, but it is worth it (at least, most of the time). However, my preference, always, is to cook with them individually. Now that is really enjoyable. Owen is actually a very good helper in the kitchen (when –and really only when– he’s by himself, and Kyle is not around). He has an incredible attention span for doing menial tasks that I hate to do (like, de-seeding pomegranates or peeling shrimp). And he (Owen) really, really likes to cook… especially if it is something that allows him to be very hands-on (literally, hands in-on-in-in-in whatever it is, mixing things with his hands, squishing things, etc., etc., etc.; i.e., MESSY). Kyle does not have the same attention span in the kitchen, but he has a few traits that his brother definitely does not have… mainly attention to detail, desire to follow a recipe precisely, an incredible memory for flavors and smells, and a very strong tendency toward neatness and cleanliness. These traits make Kyle a wonderful helper in the kitchen in his own way. He’s always bending down to clean up the floor with a kitchen towel, or reminding me to add the honey, or fretting over the tiniest bit of egg shell that slipped into the batter (and Kyle is always the one running to get the aprons and reminding everyone to wash their hands). One of my crazy dreams for my boys is that someday they’ll own a restaurant together and Owen will be the Head Chef/Kitchen Manager and Kyle will be the Wine Sommelier/Floor Manager (this is, of course, after they’ve graduated from Howard and Harvard and spent at least a year living and training in the cafes and bistros of France… I dream big people, I dream big!)… so, from the time they were about 12 months old I have been joking about this dream of mine (how I’ll eat in their restaurant regularly, how I’ll financially invest in their restaurant venture, etc., etc., etc.)… and yes, we laugh and laugh about it… but, of course, I would be thrilled if this little dream of mine came to fruition. (wink, wink!) And if it ever does, and they’re being interviewed for Food & Wine Magazine someday, well, it is my hope that they’ll say, “it all started in our mother’s kitchen…”
Owen peels fresh poached tomatoes, preparing them for Tomato Soup*
Owen puts the finishing touch (fresh cracked pepper) on one of our family’s favorite pasta dishes –Penne, Turkey Sausage, and Broccoli Rabe*
K & O make “Special Frech Toast” (i.e., made with whole grain cinamon swirl bread) in their pajamas*
Owen dredges fish*
Kyle peels carrots*
Owen & Kyle sautee fresh baby spinach (in garlic and olive oil)*
Owen peels shrimp*
Owen shreds zuchini for Zuchini Bread*
Kyle & Owen make Yogurt Smoothies early on a Saturday morning*
Owen stirs up one of the boys’ favorites: Whole Wheat Rigatoni with Pesto*
Welcome to food week on the J-M Blog!!!
This week all of our posts will be –in some way– related to the topic of food. Fun! Fun! Fun! If you have any questions, you can leave them in the comments section here and we will try to respond to them… but… they have to be somehow related to the topic of food!
Happy Food Week!
~~~
p.s. Because we’re already getting more questions than anticipated, here’s what we’ve decided: we’ll collect all of your questions and give answers to them next week. So… go ahead and continue to leave whatever questions you’d like, but please be patient ’till next week for the responses.
Meera in her crib tonight, 8:34 p.m.
She went to bed at 6:15 p.m. — like a perfect angel — even though it was actually 5:15 p.m. her time (the clocks were turned for daylight savings today). We know this kind of “angel baby” is not common (don’t forget, we have two highly “spirited babies” and we can’t help but do the ‘Compare and Contrast’ daily)… we marvel at her, revel in her, and give thanks for her every single day. There’s that old saying that says “We only get given what we can handle”… well, we couldn’t love our boys more, but we surely could not have handled a third like K&O. Thank goodness gracious for our little Meera Grace.
It’s no secret that Kyle and Owen have a long and loving history with Marching Bands. If there is any doubt, just look: here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here or, here. And, last night we had the best of all possible worlds for our pleasure….
Heather (who does almost all things good and wonderful for our life) bought 3 tickets to: “DRUMLINE LIVE“. We didn’t tell the boys until the day or so before, just so we could make it through the week with out going insane from the excitement. And, it’s a good thing – there was a lot of excitement.
We had talked about it, and decided that it made more sense for me to take them boys this time (as opposed to the last awesome event she set up for them) – oh wow, it was awesome.
Before the main event started we got to see the Lehigh Street Drumming ensemble go to town on their home made drum kit at 7 PM. The boys were cool to it at first, but Owen meandered up and pretty soon the drummers had given both boys a set of drum sticks and the whole crew was unselfconsciously wailing away in front of 200 people! The Lehigh guys loved it as did everyone watching. I had to let my normal sense of reserve go a bit since so many people were enjoying it so much. After the street drummers stopped a lady came up to me and said “tonight either they are going to go right to sleep or they are going be up all night!” No…this is really, honestly how they are all the time. No, really.
Finally it was time to go into see Drumline live. Turns out, Drumline live is far far far more than just some marching band drumming. It’s like seeing traditional African drumming and singing, Motown, HBCU marching bands, New Orleans Jazz, swing and gospel through the lens of a high octane, dynamic HBCU marching band with dancers and all. Heather had managed to get us 4th row seats – we were about 6 feet from the trumpets as they blasted fortisisissimo and marched. One of the best things about it was that although the audience at Lehigh was most definitely white, the production was not geared toward a white audience. I got the distinct sense that they played it straight up – and would do that for a white or a black audience (although the level of audience interaction with this white audience was pretty minimal).
To say that K&O were in their glory would not do it justice. To really give a sense for how much they were in their glory – Kyle stayed on my lap for almost the entire time and did not budge (except to raise the roof for the band and be a witness during the gospel of course!) and Owen stood without moving the entire concert except for the last 20 minutes when his (and this is the true test) stamina finally gave out. We walked out at 10:30 PM.
And to top it off – coincidentally – we got to sit next to Calvin – extra wonderful!
When it was over, the band marched out into the lobby and the members were signing autographs. The musicians were thrilled to have K&O come up to them, chat with them and let try to play their instruments. That was Owen’s high point from the night.
On the way home Owen told me that he was going to dream about those girls dancing. Man oh man, what’s going to happen when he is a teenager…. We picked up commemorative drumsticks (real ones mind you) and both boys have been banging on everything in site since.
If you get a chance to go see Drumline live – for sure – go – it’s really fantastic.
8:37 a.m., Meera’s BathK & O are suddenly — and I mean very suddenly — totally completely interested in weddings and marriage. They have never been to a wedding. And up until about a week ago they had virtually no awareness of weddings/marriage (at least as far as I could tell). This was the kind of thing that was so (so, so, so!) off their radar. But suddenly, like literally overnight, they became totally intrigued. It happened in a precise moment.
It was Friday afternoon. I end work early on Fridays to pick the boys up from school at 1:00. We came home, it was a rainy day, I put Meera down for her nap, and the boys and I started baking. We made “magic bars” (7 layer bars) for Owen, and we made blueberry muffins for Kyle. While we were waiting for them to bake we sat down together at the table to have a drink of juice. Kyle started it. He said something along the lines of, “When me and Owen grow up we will not live in this house.” This is not an unusual sort of thing for Kyle to think about/say. I said, “Oh! Where will you live?” He said something about how they are going to live in New York City and that I will come visit them there a lot. I said something about ‘I wonder if you’ll live just the two of you, or if you’ll live with other people too?’ And he looked at me in total shock: “Who would live with us????!” I said something like, “Well, I don’t know, maybe you guys will want to get married someday?” “Who will I marry?” asked Kyle. “I don’t know,” I said, “maybe a nice man or a nice woman that you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with.” Slightly disturbed, he said, “But I want to spend the rest of my life with Owen.” I remember there was a pause there. And then Kyle said something like, “Wait, you married Papi?” And I said “Yes.” And that is how it began. Something clicked. They had lots of questions.
I went and found a framed photo from the day Braydon and I got married, and brought it to the table. They’ve seen photos from our wedding before, but K & O have never been interested. But now they were. They wanted to know all about it. What a wedding is, what marriage is, who is at a wedding, what happens at a wedding, etc. They wanted to know about these things generally, and they wanted to know specifics about our wedding. We talked about it awhile. (Just for the record: I told them “two people get married when they decide that they love each other so much that they want to live together and spend the rest of their lives together” and I told them that “any two grown-up people can get married.” Note: I’m 100% counting on full and total legally sanctioned marriage in all 50 states for any/all people of any/all sexual orientation by the time K & O are “grown-up.”)
And then… I asked them if they wanted to watch a video of Mommy and Papi getting married. A VIDEO?!!! WHOO HOOOO yes-sir-iiiiiii they wanted to watch it! Such a thing exists?!! Let’s get to it ASAP. And so we did. We sat there, in the family room, on the couch, and watched the wedding video together. The entire thing. They were enthralled. They were giddy. They were beside-themselves-with-excitement. They were completely in love with seeing me in a white gown and veil. The veil, especially, was a huge deal. About halfway through the video I offered to show them the actual veil (I have always had it hanging on my bureau mirror in our bedroom but apparently neither of them had ever noticed it before). We paused the video and ran upstairs. They had me wear the veil, sitting on the couch, for the remainder of the wedding video. Once the video was over they each got to try the veil on. Kyle loved it but was too nervous he’d ruin it or break it or wreck it. Plus, he said, “it itches my head!” Owen, though, wanted nothing more than to wear that veil for the rest of his life. Itchy head was sooooo worth it! (Ah, learning it young– the price of beauty!) The magic bars and muffins were long done by now. Here they are, sampling their baked goods:
Over the weekend the wedding-craze became even more entrenched. They wanted, badly, to see me in my actual wedding gown. They were thrilled to discover that it was stored (unbeknownst to them) in an air-tight-sealed-garment box underneath Owen’s bed. I was very tempted to just rip it open and put the dress on for them. But Braydon, always the voice of reason, was very against the idea because he didn’t want to ruin the preservation seal. We looked, for a long time, at the dress in the box (luckily there is a see-through plastic top on the box). The boys were into it. When they got under the bed to push it back under there, Owen discovered another box. In it: wowie!–the shoes I wore on our wedding day!! Braydon agreed that the shoes were fine to pull out. This —one pair of wedding shoes, two ecstatic boys– started what is quite possibly the closest we’ve ever come to World War III in our house. I solved it quickly, though, by digging deep into my closet and pulling out a pair of “Bridesmaid Shoes” that I had worn in a friend’s wedding. The “wedding shoes” –both pair– have been a huge hit ever since:
Funny little tidbit to note: Kyle is so strangely smart sometimes (like, literally, smart about strange things). Within less than one minute of putting my wedding shoes on he said, “These shoes are soooooo beautiful!! But Mommy! Could you even see them with your beautiful wedding dress so long?! Could anyone even see them????!” “No,” I said, “you couldn’t even see them because of my long dress.” (Alas, my son! The sheer nonsensical intricacies of bridal fashion!!!!) “Oh Mommy,” he said, “WHAT A SHAME!” (Yes, my dear, WHAT A SHAME!)I could tell a million stories of what we’ve seen and heard this past week re: weddings and marriage. But I’ll end with just one~~
Tuesday morning, as usual, the boys each woke up and came into bed with us. We were all four lying in bed snuggling before the start of the day (Meera still sleeping, of course). K & O were in between Braydon and I. We were all silent. And then K & O started talking to each other in sweet, muffled, morning voices. They are still only 4 years old, still young enough to be completely unselfconscious that Braydon and I are right there hearing every single word.
K: Owen, when we grow up, I want to marry you.
O: Me too Kyle. I want to marry you too.
K: And we will live together forever.
O: That’s right.
K: You can wear the dress and the veil, like Mommy. I can wear the black things like Papi.
O: O.k.
K: And we will live in a house together, right Owen?
O: Yes, that’s right. And we will have our children. We will be the Papi’s.
O: Yes, that’s right. And we will have our children. We will be the Papi’s.
K: Yes, we will have many children. How many children will we have?
O: Eighty. We will have eighty children.
K: Yes, eighty children, adopted from Africa.
O: Yes, that’s right.
A Very Important Historic Date: March 1, 2009:Meera’s First Chips & Guac !!!!!!!
Our current favorite weekend lunch spot is Chipotle. The whole family loves that place. Braydon and I each get a carnitas burrito, fully loaded. Kyle gets a “burrito bowl” with carnitas, black beans, rice, cheese, pico de gallo, and sour cream. Owen gets a size large cheese quesadilla. And the whole family gets chips & guac to share. Saturday was a big huge day for me because I had the pleasure and honor of introducing my one and only daughter to chips & guac!!! Some readers who know me IRL (in real life) will understand what a serious big deal this is. Some readers who know me IRL know my love of chips & guac. Some readers who know me IRL can imagine how exciting this beautiful moment was for me. Some readers who know me IRL understand the importance of Meera learning to love chips & guac. And yes!!!!!!! She liked the chips & guac (a good, good, good sign!). Here are my boys, witnessing their sister’s momentous occasion:
P.S.
This post will serve as a little appetizer for what is brewing on this here blogspot!!!!!…
…drum roll please…
Coming next week: FOOD WEEK on the J-M BLOG!!!
This has been a long time coming. I’ve always allowed anonymous comments on our blog because I’ve wanted to be open to questions/comments from people who might not be able to go public (a good example is an adoptee a while back who was posting questions and comments to our blog that she did not feel comfortable having her adoptive parents read). But at this point it has basically come down to this for me: either I stop the blog altogether, or I try blocking anonymous commenters and see how that goes. I just can’t stand the negative and harsh comments coming from the pathetic anonymous commenters any longer. I am the kind of person who can get 20 wonderful comments, but it is the 1 hurtful one that gets stuck in my head. I’m just like that. And in the interest of self-preservation, I need to defend myself a bit from it. Do you have any idea the guts it takes to post something like I did last night? Do you have any clue how vulnerable that makes me feel? I blog, and make our blog public, for the reasons I wrote about recently in this post. But waking up this morning to what Anon-at-10:01 wrote… it is just like waking up to a kick in the gut. It stings. It touches on deep nerves. And surely, the author of that comment, if they are human, must know that.
Dear Anon-at-10:01,
You don’t know my kids and you don’t know me. Reading our blog does not make you knowledgeable about us at all. If you were my kid’s teacher, or if you were my mother, or if you were our nanny, or a friend-of-our-family, then your opinion would matter. We work closely with our real-life-community to raise our three kids. But you, you have absolutely no idea how amazing my kids are — and you have absolutely no idea how challenging they are to parent. I did not ask for your opinion. In the future, have the guts to tell us who you are… or don’t leave a comment at all.
I’ve changed our blog settings to no longer allow anonymous comments.
Recent comments