I just took a second to see what we were posting about last year on this day. The post I wrote that day resonates so strongly with me today, one year later. Click here to see it. Today, because of something that Kyle said at lunch that I don’t want to share on the blog, I’m thinking about this post from last July too.

You appear to be the “perfect” family. As a fellow mom of twins and a singlet, I have many trying days. Do you ever have a bad day and lose your temper with your incredibly active kids? Do you ever make mistakes as a parent–what are they? What do you feel is your biggest mistake? Would you do anything differently as a parent? ~Momto3: Oh pleeeeaaaaaaaaaaaase! We are soooooooooooo not the “perfect family”! What is the perfect family anyway?! Momto3, remember, this is a *BLOG* so you aren’t getting the full picture! You don’t see me when I’m about to lose my mind (which happens on average at least once per day). You don’t hear about all the time-outs that K and O have for serious infractions (which happen on average at least once per day — each). You don’t know about the stress behind the scenes when the boys are acting up and my heart-rate is rapidly escalating and the sensation of my blood pressure blasting through the roof is palpable (which happens on average at least once per day). You aren’t a fly on the wall before Braydon and I finally collapse into our bed at the end of the day and I’m drinking my wine and de-compressing about the day’s dramas. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t *try* to present our family with any kind of spin. I honestly don’t. But I am very aware that I’m not often blogging about all the gory details of the YUCK. Because for me, the focus of the blog (and the focus of my life in general) is on the good. I am naturally and organically and intuitively a glass-half-full kind of person. I have a post in my head about this (Glass Half Full) that I’ll put on the blog soon (I’ve been batting it around in my head for a few weeks now). Bottom line: My kids drive me nutty and, like you, I have many very trying days! Yes, I lose my temper (on average at least once per day)! And that, in a nutshell, is my answer to your next question — I feel that my biggest mistake(s) are when I don’t keep my cool and instead lose it on K & O. I do not hit/smack/slap/spank them, but I would be dishonest if I weren’t to admit that boy am I often very tempted to! They are very challenging to parent. The thing that is most challenging to me is not any particular issue or specific behaviorial problem, but rather just the daily grind and wear-and-tear of the *constant* movement/action/activity/roughness of them… the low-level agitation of their sheer energy level and SPIRITED nature TIMES TWO (but anyone with active twin boys knows that it is really more like times twenty). The two of them combined, with their willful confident (too often *defiant*) way-of-being is just plain exasperating. Ask anyone who’s ever cared for them for more than a couple hours and they’ll tell you that these two give you a run for your money. And that was before Meera! Add the baby to the mix… and… well, um, yes, Momto3, yes, it is trying. If I could do something different I’d take more deep breaths and ‘detach with love’ more often. I wrote about that in a previous question/answer on Open Book Answers Part III. I am working on that every single day. Working my tail off on that. But it is really, really tough. When K & O are running/jumping/screaming/slamming/sliding/shoving bouncing-off-the-walls getting into everything and seemingly pushing my buttons on purpose and I’m sitting there trying to nurse my 11 week old baby who just had 3 explosive-diapers-requiring-complete-clothing-changes-all-within-a-short-10-minute-time-span and dinner needs to get on the table 5 minutes ago and Braydon has just called to say he’s going to be late coming home from work and the phone is ringing and the cat is scratching at the door to come in and the house is a wreck from a day of play and K & O are saying to me every 2 seconds “I’m hungry Mom!” and I have a bunch of work stuff that is just waiting for me to take care of and I’m way behind on a couple of big work deadlines and the swimming pool needs to be cleaned and the gardens need to be weeded and the kitchen sink pipe is leaking and we still haven’t called the plumber and I haven’t been grocery shopping in 7 days and I still haven’t sent out the thank you notes for all of the baby gifts (let alone the birth announcements) and and and… well, it is very hard to not lose it! And this is on maternity leave. I try hard to not even think about what it is going to be like when I go back to work… eeeeeks!!!!
I’m really wanting to know what your favorite salad recipes are…we have been LOVING your blueberry pecan salad recipe the last couple weeks and are in dire need of another! ~Sarah: So funny! O.k., I’ll give you another good one, but you’ve got to swap—- give me a good salad recipe too (leave it in the comments)! Here’s a good easy salad we love for late summer/early fall: Lay down a bed of nice baby greens. Add fresh, thinly sliced pears. Add thinly sliced red onion. Add a handful or two of glazed pecans or walnuts (back before we had K & O I used to make them from scratch, but I now buy them in the grocery store – ‘candied’/glazed pecans or walnuts). Add crumbled gorgonzola or bleu cheese (quality is key here – you’ve gotta buy the good stuff). Drizzle with good olive oil and good balsamic vinegar (again, quality is key – splurge for the pricey stuff if at all possible!). Sprinkle with kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper.
What are the boys’ favorite videos? How much t.v./ video time do they have on a weekly basis? ~Momto3: Favorite videos are (in this order): 1) Curious George, 2) Diego, 3) Wonder Pets. They also have a Red Sox 2007 World Series video (that MorMor gave them) that they are currently really into watching. They really only watch videos; almost no t.v. They’ve only seen 3 full length movies – Curious George; Charlotte’s Web (in the theater); Horton Hears A Who (in the theater). It isn’t a huge deal to us, we don’t make a big thing of it or anything, but we would prefer for them to have very limited media — especially t.v. – mainly because of the advertising (we just don’t want them to see that at all). So, we almost never have the t.v. on when they are awake (not even the news/weather/etc.). The only exception is Saturday and Sunday mornings—sometimes we let them watch PBS or Noggin (virtually no advertising on either of those) from our bed on “S Days.” Braydon also sometimes puts the Golf Channel on in the kitchen for them in the morning every once in a great while (for maybe 10 minutes max to get a glimpse of Tiger Woods). The first time they’ve really seen ‘real t.v.’, actually, has been just this past week. A couple of times we’ve turned on the t.v. to NBC for them to see the Olympics. They’ve seen some swimming and diving (we really wanted them to see Cullen Jones and Michael Phelps swim — which they did) and some gymnastics. Regarding videos… during this past school year they watched no videos on school days (this is a Waldorf thing—their Waldorf school *strongly* discourages any media viewing on school days—and we happily oblige because we agree with it philosophically). During the school year they watched 30-60 minutes of videos on Friday and/or Saturday before bed. Now that it is summer they’ve been watching 30-60 minutes of videos almost every day (probably about 5 days per week) from around 5:00-6:00pm while we wait for Braydon to get home from work and I get dinner ready. Once school starts again we’ll go back to the no-media-during-the-week thing. Oh! I forgot to mention—whenever we go on trips they watch videos on airplanes and/or long car drives on portable DVD players. We’ve been doing this since they turned two years old and we bought the DVD players for our trip to the Turks & Caicos. We can’t imagine traveling without the portable DVD players!!!!!!!!
Our question is do Kyle and Owen know about the blog? How long will you keep doing it? ~The Josephs: K & O don’t really know about the blog or any blogs or really anything about the internet or computer, etc. They do see the blog, they see the photos of them on there, etc., but they don’t really understand it at all. They have very limited exposure to computers in general (other than seeing us use computers all the time). Again, this is a Waldof thing (to seriously limit their computer use until they are much older), and we agree enough with the philosophy of it that we’re going with it. We see no rush whatsoever to expose them to really using computers themselves. We figure they have the rest of their lives to be immersed in the world of technology. They play with two old broken laptops of ours (that don’t turn on) and pretend to “work.” But they’ve never actually used a real computer. Every once in a while, though, Braydon shows them clips of airplanes taking off and landing on YouTube. They love to do that with Braydon! As far as how long we’ll keep doing the blog… I’ve always thought that we’ll do it until it is either: 1) no longer fun for us to do anymore, and/or 2) K & O are not comfortable with us doing it.
Have any of your colleagues offered unsolicited advice about the blog (i.e, be careful what you post; aren’t you worried about security?; etc.)? ~Gooch: Surprisingly not! But then again I don’t do anything to make them aware of the blog (let alone encourage them to read it!). If they do find it, that’s fine with me. I have nothing to hide. And I am careful (very careful) about what we post. You’d think from our blog that we put everything out there but in truth what is on our blog is only a tiny tiny tiny fraction of what is in our lives/minds/hearts/souls. I’m sure that is the case for most all bloggers. I only have one colleague that I know of at Lehigh who reads the blog. I have some friends (who are also professional colleagues) around the country/world who I know are reading it. And I am aware of some students of mine (current and alum) who read it. That is all fine with me. A lot of people tell us we should be worried about security, etc. I am not concerned about it, but I am going to have Braydon answer that part of this question in one of his Open Book posts (because he knows a lot more about it than me and I defer to his judgement on this subject).
I know that you write books I have figured this out from some comments that others have left in the past (or I should say I think I figured this out, because maybe I mis-understood) I have tried to find these books and have not been able to. is it open ended enough just to ask for a link, to said books? ~Happy Mom: You’re probably having a hard time finding me as an author because professionally I don’t use “Johnson-McCormick” so you have to search for ‘Heather Johnson’ or ‘Heather Beth Johnson’ when you’re looking for my published work in academic journals, books, volumes, etc. In addition to articles/papers, etc. I have a book that came out two years ago — The American Dream and the Power of Wealth: Choosing Schools and Inheriting Inequality in the Land of Opportunity (2006 Routledge). Here’s the link to it on Amazon.com — http://www.amazon.com/American-Dream-Power-Wealth-Opportunity/dp/0415952395/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1218827435&sr=1-1

Can you tell us what book you’re reading right now? ~Julia: I always have at least a couple of books going at any one time. Right now I’m reading a book that my dad recommended I read– New Passages: Mapping Your Life Across Time, by Gail Sheehy. I’m also reading Identical Strangers: A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited, by Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein. And I’m also reading (for the 2nd time) Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson. Oh!—and the current issue of People magazine (with Brangelina and their twins on the cover)!!… I know that doesn’t count as a book but I just had to buy that at the grocery store the other day and I’m savoring every page of it! 😉

Someone else asked if you have any regrets about the boys that you’ll do different with Meera. Here’s the opposite question from me. Tell us one thing that you did with K & O that you will definitely do the same with Meera? ~Dan and Sue: We did some basic baby sign language with K & O. We made up signs for “please,” “thank you,” “more,” and “all done.” It was absolutely amazing how being able to sign those four words allowed K & O to communicate with us (and vice versa) so incredibly well when they were babies. Four words/signs can go a long way!!! That is definitely something that we will do with Meera starting pretty soon!

Today is my Love’s birthday. Happy Birthday to the best father, husband, and friend in the whole wide world! I can’t imagine a better guy to live my life with. Seriously, I am so glad this man was born!!!!!!! We like the marker of time that birthdays are, and we have been loving doing it up big for K & O’s birthday for the past 3 years, but the truth is that Braydon and I have never been big into our own birthdays. But… the boys sure are. As I’m sure is true for most kids their age, our birthdays are huge for them. Last night they could barely sleep with the anticipation of Braydon’s birthday. Braydon chose pesto pasta and caesar salad for his birthday dinner and cheesecake with fresh strawberries for dessert. Kyle insisted that we have “number candles” on the “candle cake”… so we did. This was Meera’s first observation of a b-day celebration. She was unimpressed and didn’t even make it all the way to the candle cake before having to go to bed!
P.S. Part of the reason Meera was so pooped was because today she had her 2.5 month well-baby check-up (including 4… yes 4… shots, the poor thing!). On Braydon’s 37th birthday his daughter weighs 13.07 pounds and is 24.5 inches long. She’s in the 75th percentile for weight; the 95th percentile for height; and the 95th percentile for head circumference. For all of the developmental tests she’s measuring as a 3.5 month old (according to our pediatrician she’s “very advanced”… advanced or not we just think she’s so darn cute).

Meera Grace is 11 weeks old today. Since day 1 we’ve known that she will be a very happy girl when she can get her thumb in her mouth. For the past couple of weeks she’s spent virtually all of her waking hours working on getting her hand/fingers/thumb into her mouth. This past weekend she started to get her thumb in there and keep it in there for a bit every once in a while. Over the past couple of days she’s getting better and better at it. At this point I’d almost officially call her a Thumb Sucker (that makes three in our family!) The other four of us are all happy and relieved to see Meera sucking her thumb because it was difficult (verging on painful) for us to watch her struggle with it so over the past few weeks. But Meera is happiest of all! An already super happy and content baby is now even happier (we did not believe that was possible, but alas! it is!)… for the past few nights she’s been sleeping for 8 hour stretches. Last night she slept for 9.5 hours straight. She’s asleep by 8pm, wakes up 8-9 hours later to eat, then immediately goes back to sleep for another 3-4 hours. Last night she slept from 8pm-9:15am with only one 10 minute nursing session in between (at 5:30am, after which she promptly fell right back to sleep — as usual for her night feedings). She also takes 1-2 large naps every day (anywhere from 1-3 hours each). Already she’s a better sleeper than either Kyle or Owen ever were. When she’s awake she’s as happy as can be (she does take after her brothers there). Laughing and smiling and gurgling and chewing on her fingers and now… sucking her thumb. The difference between her and the boys, though, is how totally mellow and low-key Meera is. We almost don’t know what to do with her! (But we’re waaaaaaaaaaay enjoying it!!!!!!) We seriously don’t know how we lucked out with this incredibly good and easy and mellow and fun-loving baby! The only thing we can think of is that we had this coming to us given what we endure with the non-stop action and crazy, crazy antics of our other two! 😉 Meera is so perfect for our family that it almost seems too good to be true. I kiss her at least 100 times a day and thank her constantly for being the mellow-happy-go-lucky-baby that she is. I am so enamored with this tiny little soul. It has only been 11 weeks but I truly cannot imagine life without her now.

What is your favorite time of day? ~Mandy: For me, it has always been the early morning – the earlier, the better. Braydon used to hate early mornings, but the longer he’s been with me the more he’s grown to love the early morning too. Now it is the favorite time of day for both of us. We love getting up before the bambinos and having coffee watching the sunrise… and then greeting them as they come stumbling downstairs just having woken up.

How blessed/lucky do you feel to have gotten 8 month old twins out of haiti in such a short time, especially now that people are waiting well over 2 years? Also, the boys look so identical to us, but one seems redder haired than the other, is that just the camera doing that? ~Ali: We feel incredibly blessed and lucky. Regarding how we got them home so quickly—Braydon wrote a good post about this back in March. Check it out here: http://johnson-mccormickfamily.blogspot.com/2008/03/whatever-it-takes.html Regarding the boys—we have never done the genetic testing to determine for sure whether K & O are ‘identical’ or ‘fraternal.’ However, I have read a lot about this and I feel pretty confident in saying that K & O are not identical twins. Their hair texture, for one, is different from one another – which is a major marker that twins are non-identical. Which leads to your hair color question… It is not the camera doing that! Owen’s hair always lightens in the summer. Kyle’s does a bit too, but Owen’s is very pronounced. This has happened each summer. It looks very ‘red,’ light, bleached… it looks like we’re getting his locs highlighted! (but we aren’t, of course). Over the winter it will darken up again. But right now, yes, it looks relatively very light! We joke about how lots of people pay LOTS of money to get their locs looking like that!! The sun’s doing it for Owen for free! I gotta say that I think it is so cute—he looks like quite the little island child and I love it! The look fits him perfectly.
What is the most effective thing you do to let the boys know their behavior is unacceptable to prevent it from happening again? ~Karen Vitek: Hi Karen! 😉 [Karen is a dear old family friend!]We’ve found over and over that the most effective thing for us to do is to dramatically ignore them/emotionally detach from them. Calmly and coolly turn and walk away; literally ‘detach with love.’ This works incredibly, incredibly well with Kyle and Owen. This is definitely the most effective thing to do with our particular boys… but… when we’re so mad that we’re about to lose our minds… well, even though we know it is the most effective thing to do, it sure is the hardest thing to do!! We try to remember to handle their unacceptable behavior that way, but the more unacceptable their behavior is, the harder it is for us to detach ourselves! We fly off the handle way too often (which is remarkably ineffective with them). So, we learn this lesson over and over for ourselves and we try to remember it. It is a major challenge for us.
Maybe one day we’ll go the biological route as well, and my question is what is your favorite phrase to give to anyone who says “oh, now you’ll have your “own”? ~Karen: My favorite phrase in response to this was always to play dumb (my tried and true motto: ‘when in doubt, play dumb’) and say “my ‘own’? what do you mean? K & O are my own.’ And then look *very* quizzically at the person asking me this question . And wait to see how they respond in the very awkward silence the follows. Now that Meera is with us, I get lots of comments that are similar, like, “Oh, isn’t is so wonderful to finally have one of your own?!” I’ll have to post about that whole thing another time. I just haven’t had the gumption to post about it yet because it is just. so. incredibly. depressing. for. me. to. think. about. It is just so heavy. Ugh.

How did you choose Meera’s name? ~Ani: Early on in my pregnancy (long before we knew it was a girl) I was looking through lists of baby names and ‘Meera’ popped out at me. I loved it. That night I asked Braydon about it. He loved it too. We decided pretty much right then and there that if we had a girl it would be “Meera.” It seemed to be exactly the kind of name we were looking for.
I never ever heard of the beautiful name Meera before, anywhere. Is she named after a family member? Or has it some kind of other special meaning? ~Lieve: She’s not named after a family member; no special meaning; we just love the name and it seemed like it just worked for us.

Did the boys help decide on Meera’s name? Did they accidentally tell it to anyone before she was born? ~Martha: No, the boys had nothing to do with Meera’s name. Braydon and I chose it entirely by ourselves. We told K & O the name when we told them they were going to have a baby sister (blogged about that here: http://johnson-mccormickfamily.blogspot.com/2008/01/baby-sister.html). So, they knew all along that it was “Baby Meera.” They never questioned the name whatsoever. They also never knew we were keeping the name secret. So, whenever friends/family would want to know the name they could always ask K & O and they’d always tell them “Baby Meera”! So, quite a few people found out that way. K & O also told people on their own sometimes – like their entire pre-school class at school knew the name right from the start, etc.! 😉

Was Meera almost named anything else? What were the top ten names? ~Stella: Way back when we always loved the name Taylor and wanted to name our baby that if we ever were to have a girl. But then the name Taylor became very popular a bunch of years ago. Because I have such a common name, I never wanted any of my kids to have a ‘top ten’ name. So, Taylor was out. We also always loved the name Grace. But when the time came we couldn’t bring ourselves to name her that because it just seemed like it too had become too popular of a name. We loved ‘Grace’ so much though, and loved what it represents/means/symbolizes, that we knew that would be our baby’s middle name (regardless of first name) if we were to have a girl. In thinking about baby names ‘Meera’ just seemed to fit and it just clicked and then it just seemed meant to be our daughter’s name. Other names we seriously considered: Sondra, Riley, Mia, Maya. We are really glad we named her Meera Grace. As soon as she was born I knew it was exactly the right name. It feels right. To me she looks like nothing other than a Meera Grace.

My question is about Heather’s parents, whom you refer to as Mormor and Morfar…is that because they are Swedish??? ~Mr. & Mrs. Lorentzon: Yes!

1] In one word, what is your favorite way to relax after the kids are sleeping but before you are sleeping? 2] Do you have a preference for keeping your sons together or to separate them in kindergarten? ~Tracy R.: 1] Blogging 2] K & O start kindergarten in a few weeks (they are going to be in a 2-year mixed-age kindergarten program for 4-5-6 year-olds at their Waldorf school). This summer we’ve devoted a serious amount of time to struggling with the question of whether to separate them for kindergarten. You can look for future posts about that in the not too distant future. Keep reading! 😉

You guys ever think to add a cat, dog or pet to the mix? ~Eden: We have a cat! You wouldn’t even believe some of the stuff this cat puts up with from K & O!!!!!!! I found K & O doing the following the other day (see photo below)… what is hard to make out in the photo is that there is our cat in that basket way up high. That is where he goes to hide from K & O… and poor cat… K & O figured out a way to get at him even there. The cat is almost 14 years old. We love him, but we know for sure that right now 1 cat is more than enough pets for us!!!!!!!!! LOL!

I was going through the old post and I was watching the Happy Holidays video. And his laugh made me want to laugh. My question is don’t you just LOVE Owen’s laugh?? ~Lucy: YES! He has the best laugh ever!!!!!!!!!! And he laughs allllll daaaaaaaaaaay loooooooooooooong every single day!

My question is (wish it was close-ended, but unfortunately not) where do you get your lovely, yummy recipes? ~Claudia: Oh, gosh… I’m always looking for lovely yummy *EASY* recipes. If you have any, please share!!!!! But to answer your question— I get them from all over—friends, family, cookbooks, internet, The Cooking Channel, magazines, etc., etc., etc. Mostly, though, I get them from restaurants- I’m one of those people who can eat something once and then duplicate it pretty closely at home. Most of our best ‘recipes’ are not recipes at all—I’ve just made them up based on trying to replicate things I’ve eaten at great restaurants. (Photo below, of Owen, taken at dinner tonight – a favorite pasta dish: penne with chicken and sundried tomatoes)
Have you two ever considered cutting the boys hair.. giving them a “traditonal” haircut? ~TNT5150: Yes, three times. Before we decided to loc their hair we were deciding between cutting it and loc’ing it. We decided to loc it, but we were seriously considering the more traditional haircut at that time (we started their locs when they were 20 months old). Post-locs there have been two times we’ve seriously considered cutting it – 1) the first summer they had their dreadlocks… the daily swimming and sandbox play was just a total nightmare on their baby dreds… and I came close to giving up. I’m so glad I didn’t! 2) in the early spring of 2007 we were having some pretty intense ‘issues’ with our daycare [you can just read between the lines there]… I was really at a low and feeling concerned about how my boys were being treated and how their hair might be playing into it in a negative way. I called my mom and told her I was seriously considering cutting their hair. She convinced me not to do it. She also supported me in the decision to, instead, take them out of that daycare. Thanks Mom! We love their hair. K & O love it too. I don’t see a time in the near future when we’d cut it. When/if we do it will be because K and/or O want their hair cut.

Do you think that Meera will be calling Braydon, Papi like Kyle and Owen do? ~Anonymous: Yes, Meera will call Braydon Papi.

Do the boys ask about their birth dad? ~Lori: No, they never have.

P.S. A shout out to Abby from Doylestown who de-lurked but didn’t leave a question – Be in touch so we can get together in Doylestown sometime!

Do you feel like adults/parents now or like you are playing house? Do you have any regrets with raising the twins that you want to change with raising Meera? ~Cassidy: I totally understand your question! In all honesty, I usually do not feel like an adult! I feel like I’m about 16 years old and sometimes I can barely believe it that I’m 35 about to turn 36. OMG!!! So, I don’t really “feel” like a grown up most of the time. Often I feel like an impostor and it is hard for me to believe that others think I’m a grown up (often this is especially true when I’m playing the role of Professor!) But I have to be honest: when we got K & O home and we were *parents* it really hit me that we were responsible for them in every single possible way — and that they were totally utterly dependent on us… and us alone. That kind of made me feel like a true ‘parent’ real fast! So, I still find it hard to believe that I’m technically considered a ‘grown up,’ and that people view me as an ‘adult,’ but I do definitely feel like a parent. Weird, I know. Basically, I just *feel* so young that it is hard to believe that some people my age are actually complaining of things like achy muscles and saying stuff like, “We’re too old for this!” That is just very foreign to me. I can’t imagine doing that ever, even when I’m twice the age I am now (but then again, I have a mom who is pushing 60 and tubing with her grandsons! and a dad who is [ah hem] past 60 and pulling the tube in the motorboat!!!)… so I have good genes and good role models! About ‘playing house’—yes, every once in a while I do sorta feel like we’re playing house. But then the bills come in the mail, or the washing machine dies, or the yard needs to be cleaned up… and it suddenly feels very, very, very REAL! LOL!!! Re: regrets about the twins to change with Meera—the biggest regret is their sleeping. We really struggled with getting them to bed/nap/sleep from that we brought them home all the way until they were about 3. It was BAD. A lot of it was completely related to adoption stuff… some of it was completely related to twin stuff… but some of it was our fault too. Braydon and I are totally committed to doing everything possible so that doesn’t happen with Meera! We’re on the right track so far (she’s a GREAT sleeper so far) and we are hoping to keep it that way!

What I’m wondering, is if you could do it all over again, would you give birth first, and then adopt, or do it the same way you did? ~Kelly: We’d do it exactly precisely the same way we did it! It has been an awesome, awesome journey and we would not change a thing!!

Where do the nicknames MorMor and MorFar come from? ~Laura: My side of the family is almost 100% Swedish. “MorMor” and “MorFar” are the traditional Swedish names for grandparents – MorMor = Mother’s Mother / MorFar = Mother’s Father

Do you belong to a religious/spiritual community? ~Theresa: Yes. We are very, very spiritual people. We are trying to raise our kids with a very spiritual dimension to our parenting. In terms of religion… We are semi-religious. We are technically Lutheran (ELCA) and are members of a Lutheran church near us. My parents are very active in the Lutheran Church. Braydon and I go through waves of going to church regularly and not going at all. Right now we’re in a not-going-at-all-phase. We’re actively seeking a new church that will be more ‘black.’ We are in the process of looking right now actually. We’ll very likely end up at a predominantly black church because we’re having trouble finding an integrated church that we like (like in terms of the actual religion part) and for numerous reasons we are not comfortable right now putting K & O into a white church. Big question you asked. Hard to write a short answer. Hope this will suffice.

So did it take you a long time to learn how to twist and loc the boys hair? Also are they “tender headed” or well behaved when you do the hair? ~Glamah16/Courtney: It took awhile to get the hang of twisting/loc’ing the boys hair. It probably took me about six months before I felt really comfortable with it. But I had been doing their hair (non dreadlocks) for a full year before I started their locs. I still love to chat with black women about hair – I love getting new tips and tricks and swapping hair stories, etc. Braydon started helping a while into the whole thing. He still struggles a bit with it (and relies on me for a lot of moral support when he’s doing the boys’ hair) but he’s actually really good! The boys are definitely not tender headed. They rarely complain. They are pretty well behaved when we do their hair (and I’m pretty tough on them when I do hair)… but then again, they don’t know any different so they don’t even know *not* to behave! They have no choice! LOL! Look here for a big post if you haven’t seen it already: http://johnson-mccormickfamily.blogspot.com/2007/11/black-hair.html

How many minutes per day do you spend blogging? ~Christina: Probably on average about 30 minutes per day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Usually I blog at night, after the boys go to bed and the house is all cleaned up and the day is done. It is my way to unwind. My current hobby. My current creative outlet. My scrapbook for the future. My journal. I’ve always written in a journal ever since I was about 16 years old. Now I write here. Some people exercise, some people read, some people bake, some people garden, some people knit, some people scrapbook, some people watch t.v…… I don’t do any of those things- instead I blog. At least for now.
How many other blogs do you read daily? ~Jabber: The only blog I read every day religiously without fail is the Livesay’s blog — http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com I check it at least once a day. I look at other blogs pretty regularly (every few days), but the Livesay blog is the only one that is a daily read for me.

Can you recommend a project/charity/non-profit that helps out Haiti? ~Brittany: I get this question a lot actually. I always recommend The Livesays — http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/ If that isn’t what you’re looking for be in touch with me and I can give you other recommendations.

My question is, do you intend for K & O to learn Creole/French in the future, as that is what they would speak in Haiti? ~Tasha: K & O had only ever heard Creole when we adopted them. But they weren’t speaking yet, as they were only 8 months old when we brought them home. We will not force them to learn Creole or French in the future, it won’t be mandatory. But we’ll be totally psyched if they want to learn and we’ll be very supportive and proud if they go for it. That is something that will be entirely up to them.

At what point did you feel the boys were securely bounded? ~Anonymous: It took about 1 year… just about 1 year to the day! It was noticeable and striking to us.

Do you have any other nicknames for Kyle and Owen other than Ky Ky, K, and O? And how do you refer to them when talking to Meera? (i.e. your brothers, bubbies,etc)? ~Kathrin: Kyle is Ky Ky; Ky; K; Big K. Owen often calls Kyle “Kikes.” Owen is O; Big O; O-Bo. Braydon and I call the both boys Baby Boy; Big Boy; Buddy; Bud; Sweetie Pie. I often call them Sweet Potato Pie. Braydon often calls them Dude (as in, ‘what’s up dude?!’) or Man (as in, ‘yeah Man!’). When talking to Meera we refer to them as ‘your brothers’; or ‘your big brothers’; and mostly ‘your crazy brothers’! 😉

Well here we go!!!! We’re going to try to answer these over the next several days. We’ll see how long it takes us to get through them all! (See original Open Book 2008 post by clicking here–) One note: as always, you can click on any photo to enlarge (we’re going to be throwing in some photos for fun too)…

My question is: Are you going to answer all of these intriguing thoughtful questions? ~Candis: Yes!

My question is, have you took Kyle and Owen to a Amusement park before? (like Hershey Park, Six Flags, Kings Dominion). I think they would love it! ~Asiaha, hi! Yes, we have taken K & O to one amusement park… StoryLand in NH (see posts from our NH August trips 2008 & 2007)… but it is really just for little, little kids. The rides are only for little tikes, no big roller coasters or “grown up rides” like at Hershey, Six Flags, etc. But, just like you, we think that they will LOVE IT when they are big enough to go! We can’t wait!!!!!!!!! P.S. Photo below was of just last week – the four of us exiting the “Bamboo Shoots” ride at StoryLand and heading straight to the front of the line to ride it again. 😉

I would love to know, are you planning for any more kids? ~Jen: No!

After having meera, do you want or wish for any more children? (I know you said meera is the last but you can’t control your heart!). ~Rose: No! our heart says no! I loved being pregnant and I absolutely LOVE having a newborn… and it is already sad for me how fast Meera is growing (especially knowing this is our last baby)… so I’ll admit, it is tempting… but absolutely no—we are definitely not going to have any more children (bio or adopted). I know, I know, “never say never,” but… really…. NEVER! 😉

My question is do you think that with your twins being raised in a very white environment that they will be more likely to be in interracial relationships when they start dating? ~Amy: Yes! But I think they’ll probably have interracial relationships outside of black-white too. Just my hunch, but that’s my prediction.
Where do you plan to take ALL three Kids for your first “real” vacation (meaning: you have to take an airplane and lots of snacks 😉 as a Family of 5? ~Heutehiermorgendort: Love this question!! Just took them to NH for our first “real” vacation as a family of five!!! This was Meera’s first time on an airplane with “lots of snacks” and everything! Kyle and Owen were super excited to have her on the airplane, etc, etc, etc! We have a vacation planned for late this fall… you’ll have to keep reading to find out where we go! 😉 And we HOPE hope hope hope hope to return to Virgin Gorda this spring with Meera as well as K & O. We’ve been dreaming of Virgin Gorda since we went last year (check out our blog posts from on and around June 4th, 2007 to get an idea of how amazing that trip was for us!)

Will you ever bring K & O back to Haiti to visit? ~Nikki: Yes! Absolutely definitely for sure. My question–when will you take the boys’ 4 year-old picture by the tree? And will Meera be in it as well? ~Maggie B.: We always take that photo at the end of August – so look for it coming soon! 😉 Meera will be in it too this year.

Do you know who Kyle & Owen’s birth Mom is? If not, could they ever track her down some day if they decided to? Do you know anything about her? ~Anonymous: We won’t answer this question. Too private. Sorry! What were Kyle and Owen’s names before they were Kyle and Owen? ~Anonymous: We won’t answer this question. Too private. Sorry!

Will you come visit me in my new city the next time you are there? ~Maggie: Yes! Can’t wait!

Did you ever find out who sent you the chair for Meera? ~Anonymous: Yes, it was one of my best friends- Kristen! She has already given me a really nice baby gift so I never in a million years would have expected it was her! That Bjorn chair is absolutely fabulous! I highly recommend it!!!!

What agency/orphanage did you adopt from in Haiti? ~Trisha Roe/Major Mom: We adopted through a U.S. agency based in Montana — the agency is A New Arrival. Their website is: http://www.anewarrival.com/ Their orphanage in Haiti is Bresbis in Port au Prince. They have a new orphanage now (like, a different building) so it isn’t the same actual place that Kyle and Owen were… but it is the same organization. Let me know if you want further information! My question is in regards to Heather returning to work. At this point are you looking forward to it, or dreading it? ~Mary: Dreading it!!!!!!!!!

My question is if you could adopt again, but from another country, what country would it be? ~Sara: We originally looked into South Africa before we chose Haiti. At that time, however, South Africa was not open for U.S. adoption because of problems related to the Hague Agreement. We ended up choosing Haiti and we are VERY VERY VERY glad we did. Absolutely no regrets. When we were considering adopting again (after K & O, before Meera), we were decided that if we were to do it we were going to do a domestic adoption in order to get a newborn (we really, really, really wanted a newborn – it was a major priority for us – we have posts on this blog about that). But that was very conflicting for us because we’re so aware of the extreme need in Haiti. So, the answer to your question is: The U.S., but with serious reservations because of our commitment to Haiti. But if we had to choose another country other than Haiti or the U.S., we’d probably look into whether S. Africa is open now. If not, we’d probably go with Ethiopia because they have a relatively good, well-functioning adoption system in place.

Walking to the Beach from the Cottage, Summer 2008, Age 4

Walking to the Beach from the Cottage, Summer 2007, Age 3

Walking to the Beach from the Cottage, Summer 2006, Age 2

Still Too Little to Walk to the Beach from the Cottage, Summer 2005, Age 1