7:39 a.m., Friday, June 22 7:39 a.m., Friday, June 22 7:39 a.m., Friday, June 22
Jessica Kyle Owen, February 18, 2005Braydon and I have a lot of friends. Old friends, new friends, friends we see often, friends we rarely ever see, friends from past stages of life, friends from the here-and-now, friends from online who we’ve never even met in person. Even though I often feel like I’m not a good enough friend (I’m not in touch enough, I forget birthdays, I am horrible about sending ‘thank you notes,’ I hate talking on the phone, etc., etc., etc.), I feel so grateful to have such a wide network of friends in my life who in their own ways each are sticking it out with crazy-ole-me. And one special thing about life “Post K & O” (as we fondly refer to it), is that I have been able to watch as this wide net of friends embrace my boys — each embracing K & O in their own way. Some of my friends know my boys well, some have yet to meet them, some read this blog daily and still want more details about my boys’ life, others have never logged onto this blog and know virtually nothing about K & O… yet each of my friends have, in some way, shown love for Kyle and Owen. Sometimes the showing of love is subtle, sometimes overt, sometimes spiritual, sometimes material. But I can’t think of one person who I love that hasn’t shown love for my children. How amazing is that? Even before the boys arrived the love was showering down; we had four baby showers thrown for us, we received literally hundreds of “Happy Adoption” cards, and people all over the place were praying for my boys. I feel so truly blessed. So blessed. And I feel so glad for Kyle and Owen that they have that in place in their life. Nobody could ask for more. At the same time, as I mentioned above, I’m often self-conscious that I’m not a good enough friend to my friends. I worry that I let too much slip too often. I worry that I don’t do enough, that I don’t show my love enough, that I’m too selfish and wrapped up in my own little life. So today I wanted my “Love Thursday” post to be about the love I feel for my friends — and the appreciation I feel toward my friends for loving my boys so unquestioningly. Tomorrow some very dear friends arrive for the weekend. We don’t see them often enough. We don’t do enough for them. But there is no doubt in my mind that they love my boys with a passion. And that just makes me love them even more than I did “Pre K & O” (which I didn’t think was possible). The photo above is of the first time our friend Jessica met my boys. Jess is one of the very best friends I have in the whole wide world. She drove for hours to come meet the boys just a couple of weeks after they had arrived home. I was in a hazy-blurry-New-Mom-of-Adopted-Twin-Babies-fog, but somehow I had the wherewithal to pull out the camera and click this one shot. I love this photo because I feel like you can see on her face the love that Jessica felt for my boys (and she had just met them), AND you can see in the boys’ postures the comfort they felt with Jessica right away. It is all so beautiful. Happy Love Thursday Everyone!
People joke about the funny things that little chidren say related to all-things-potty. But what about the funny things we find ourselves saying during that fleeting (and luckily relatively short-lived) phase of life in which we potty train our children?! My guess is that potty training twins just makes for double the ridiculously bizarre things that come out of our mouths?! Here are the top ten potty talk things I’ve heard Braydon and/or I actually verbalize in the past several days. Note: This is a family-friendly, “G” rated blog so some of the really good quotes have been censored here.
- O.k., listen. Look at me. No matter how hard you push sometimes nothing comes out. If you’ve been sitting there for fifteen minutes you probably don’t have to go!
- Good job! Yay! Yay!!! O.k., now just let me clean it all up.
- Wait! Wait! If you’re both going to go at once you need to aim for the water not for your brother! Careful! Ooops. O.k., listen, next time you have to try to not pee so much on your brother.
- Yes, you are right. You are both good poopers.
- No, that’s not a funny thing to say. We can’t touch it and we cannot eat it. That’s gross and I want you to both stop saying that. No, stop it! Don’t laugh at him when he says that!
- O.k., as soon as I look at his poopie then I’ll come look at your poopie.
- Wait! Don’t move! You can’t always try to watch it come out. Look– now there is poopie all over the potty!
- No, we don’t have to show them. Believe me, they don’t all want to see it. Only your mommy and papi and twin brother want to see your poopies.
- You know what? You don’t need to go every single time your brother goes. Let’s just try to get through the store now, o.k.?
- O.k., just calm down. Relax. Next time you can flush his.
Interestingly, they are exactly the same for both boys right now:
Breakfast:
Milk & Orange Juice (OJ is, hands down, their current favorite drink. They’d drink it non-stop all day if we’d let them.)
–> that’s it. No actual food. If it were entirely up to them, they’d never eat any solid food for breakfast. Of course, it is not entirely up to them. So they eat breakfast foods, but they are definately not their favorite foods.
Lunch:
Turkey & Cheese Sandwich. On soft wheat bread with a little mayo.
Turkey & Cheese Sandwich. On soft wheat bread with a little mayo.
Dinner:
They’ll choose going to Carrabba’s Italian Grill (click here) over my cooking any night of the week. They have, on occassion, tried things off the Children’s Menu there, but by far their favorite meal is the following (which is off the regular menu): Italian bread dipped in olive oil; caesar salad; penne pasta with alfredo sauce and tons of fresh parmesan sprinkled on top.
We’ve had a string of playdates during my week at home with the boys. Each time we’ve had a playdate over the past week I have explained to the boys that we’re getting together with “_____ [fill in the child’s name] and _____’s Mommy.” Each time the boys have asked, “But where is _____’s Daddy?” and I have had to bite my tongue and explain as simply as possible that the Daddy “is at work.” K & O are still young enough that I was hoping they just simply wouldn’t pick up on the patterned fact that all these Daddys are working and all these Mommys are not. I know that I will have to someday, but I hate the thought of having to try to explain that to my precious young men. And I will admit that I have been putting that off for as long as possibly possible. Yesterday we were getting ready for our final playdate and I explained to the boys that “Noah and Noah’s Mommy” were coming over to swim in the pool with us. Kyle asked, “But where is Noah’s Daddy?” I said my line: “Noah’s Daddy is at work.” Kyle and Owen looked at each other silently for a second. Then Kyle scrunched up his eyebrows and said: “But where are all the Daddy’s?”
When the boys are playing they often pretend that they are taking care of animals or “rescuing” them. This obviously stems from their love of Go Diego Go videos (Diego is an “Animal Rescuer”). When they play with their dolls they almost always pretend that their dolls are being naughty and they have to give these dolls time outs for bad behavior. Lately they will regularly explain to me what they are pretending while they are pretending it (“I am rescuing Baby Jaguar!!!”/”I need to save the baby condors!!”/etc… & “He has a TIME OUT!!! He hit me!”/”He bit me!”/”He kicked me!”/”He is acting up!”/”He is talking back to me!!!!”). Kyle and Owen always explain that they are the animal’s “Mommy” or the doll’s “Mommy”… I have never once observed them pretend to be the “Daddy” or the “Papi.”
The vast majority of the boys’ time playing is spent rolling around in the driveway on anything that has wheels. They constantly announce cheerily that they are “GOING TO WORK!!!” Sometimes they will find something that they can pretend is a bag to carry over their shoulder. They are very animated as they incessantly explain: “I’m going to my office! I’m going to work now! It is time to go to work!!!” And often — very often — they add on: “I’m going to Lehigh!” or “I’m going to my Lehigh office!” or “My office is at Lehigh!” I have rarely ever observed them pretend to be going go Papi’s office. They are always going to my office.
Yesterday I was on the phone with a friend. When I got off the boys were asking about who it was and what we were talking about. I was trying to explain to the boys that the point of the phone call was to try to set up a regular playdate with them and their Nanny Alex and Annabelle and Annabelle’s Nanny Sonya. I said, “It will be Kyle, Owen, Alex, Annabelle, and Sonya!” Owen said, “That sounds like fun!” Kyle said, “Yea! That sounds like fun!” Then Kyle paused for a second and said, “Where are the Mommys going to be?” And Owen said, “That’s silly Kyle!!! The Mommys will be working!!!!!!” And they both laughed then kept playing.
Our Summer Nanny, Alex, has been away for the past week on a vacation. I have been home with the boys. I have tried to keep up with some work during their nap times and after they go to bed at night, but for the most part I’ve been a stay-at-home-mama for the week (well, except that I’m carrying around the mind-numbing-weight of the constant-stress-and-anxiety-of-letting-far-too-much-slip-between-the-cracks-work-wise). At this point in my life I honestly cannot imagine doing just one thing: working or staying home. If nothing else, a week like the past one is a good reminder for me that I truly love and embrace the identity and the reality of being a Working Mother. And I also truly love and embrace the identity and the reality of us being a Two Career Family. I’m glad to have that reminder from time to time because sometimes in the craze of it all that is hard to remember. Anyhoo………… This past week I’ve done a lot of the things that I think stay-at-home moms do: I’ve run a lot of errands with the boys (the grocery store, the dry cleaner, the pool store, etc.), had a lot of playdates with the boys and friends (Jackson, Noah, Joy Lin, etc.), and spent a lot of quality down-time/at-home-time with the boys doing just regular-nothing-special stuff. We also went to McDonalds for lunch one day and to the Waffle House for breakfast one day. We went to their favorite park, and we spent a lot of time in our backyard and our swimming pool. We have had a great time together and tomorrow Alex comes back.
P.S. — Oh, and I potty trained them this week too. đŸ˜‰
This past weekend we hosted a reunion at our house of a group of great friends from the six years we lived in Boston. We all lived in Boston in our 20s, had some really (and I mean, REALLY!) good times there/then, but have since all moved to different parts of the country for our careers. We had fifteen folks here for the weekend — they came from San Francisco, Rhode Island, Washington D.C., and New York City. We got to meet and get to know each other’s kids. And best of all, we got to hang out again. We had an absolute BLAST. We drank waaaaaaaaaay too many margaritas, stayed up waaaaaaaaaaaaaay past our bedtime (going to bed at 2 am was just fine back when we didn’t have little kids who wake up at 7!), we laughed waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much, and spoiled each other’s beautiful children waaaaaaaaaaay more than any child deserves (ahhh, who am I kidding?!–these kids all deserved it!). It really was the best weekend imaginable for a group of old friends. It was sad to see them all go yesterday. Here are some photos from the weekend. As always, you can click on any of them to enlarge. Melannie, Scott, Luke, Caroline, Gaby, Rebecca, Jeff, Ange, Ben, Alex, and Angelica: Thank you for coming. We love each and every single one of you.
Kyle and I, lying in bed alone together early this morning, discussing his numerous scrapes, cuts, bruises, and gashes all over his entire body… Kyle: “Mommy, I like owies. Mommy, I like to crash.”
The whole family, riding in the car this evening driving home from Father’s Day dinner at the boys’ favorite restaurant (Carrabas), I was trying to explain to K & O that the back-seat windows in our car do not go all the way down like the back-seat windows did in the rental car we had on Virgin Gorda… Owen: “Mommy, I’m so mad at you about these windows. Mommy, I need to be rude at you!”
I guess everyone was right: when they’re ready, they’re ready. It doesn’t surprise me that my two were ready at the exact same time. They both took their first steps on the very same day (actually in the very same moment). They’ve done pretty much everything — and now potty training — completely together in unison. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that they are fully 100% “potty trained,” and I’m sure we’re in for many bumps in the road in the days/weeks/months/years to come, but in the past week we’ve gone from fully-diaper-wearing-boys to fully-underpants-wearing-boys. I knew it was for real when this morning I took my two underpants-wearing-boys out to the post office and to do our grocery shopping — out and about for over 2 hours — with no accidents whatsoever. Not even any near-misses or close-calls. We’re getting rid of the Diaper Genie. I just put it in the trash (it was broken anyway, and we had refused to get a new one so we were just using it despite it being broken). I’m so happy to have that nasty smelly ugly white plastic thing out of our house and out of our life. We’ve been living with it for the past 2.5 years and I’m happy it is now gone for good. But at the same time… I must admit… it does feel a bit bitter-sweet to watch my boys discover their new-found independence. It’s all good, of course. But it is also just another milestone in a whole string of them as we watch our cute little baby boys turn into gorgeous self-confident young men.
In the post office this morning Owen announced to a 20-something-looking guy who just happened to be in line with us: “I’m wearing underpants!” I watched as the guy took it in stride, gave Owen a high-five and said, “Awesome Little Dude!” I was proud — for sure — but all I could think was, “where did my tiny drooling little baby go???” As Braydon says, I don’t know how we’re going to get through the next 18 years… not because of how tough K & O are to deal with (although God knows sometimes they sure are)… but rather, because of how extreme these joy-pride-adoration-pure-love emotions in parenting them are for us.
I try to avoid doing a lot of shopping with the boys because they are so bad in stores with me. They have never liked shopping; they just aren’t the type. And the threat of leaving the store does not work for them since their goal is to leave the store. When I have to bring them with me on errands I often commit that critical parenting sin: BRIBERY. I’ll say, “If you’re good I’ll give you a cookie!” or “If you don’t act up in this store I’ll push you in the cart over the speed bump in the parking lot!!!” or — in extreme situations, such as yesterday (I had a ton of errands to run) — the big one: “If you’re very, very good I’ll take you to McDonalds!!!!!!!” McDonalds for them is all about those indoor playgrounds that they have. They couldn’t care less about the Happy Meal (although they do like the chocolate milk), their love of “Ronald McDonalds” (as they call it) is purely about their love of those crazy plastic indoor playspaces. So, they were incredibly good all morning shopping and it was time for the big reward. We got the ‘food’ (if you could really call it that), got settled at a table situated right next to the playground thing, the boys took one sip of chocolate milk and took off to climb. The place was packed with lots of other people just like us: mothers running errands bribing their young kids with McDonalds for lunch. I was sitting so close to the playspace that I could see and hear a lot of what was going on in there. Often I could hear my boys trying to initiate conversations with other kids. At times I was actually laughing out loud at what they would say to these kids (most of whom had this response to my boys chatter: they would just stare blankly at K & O and then run away)… Here are the top three Playground Pickup Lines I heard my boys use yesterday (none of which were successful):
- “We saw a PT Cruiser! It was white! Did you see a PT Cruiser?!”
- “Do you want to look out the window with me and my brother to try to see a Mini Cooper?”
- “This is my brother. He’s my brother. He’s not your brother.”
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