Gender

We’ve had a string of playdates during my week at home with the boys. Each time we’ve had a playdate over the past week I have explained to the boys that we’re getting together with “_____ [fill in the child’s name] and _____’s Mommy.” Each time the boys have asked, “But where is _____’s Daddy?” and I have had to bite my tongue and explain as simply as possible that the Daddy “is at work.” K & O are still young enough that I was hoping they just simply wouldn’t pick up on the patterned fact that all these Daddys are working and all these Mommys are not. I know that I will have to someday, but I hate the thought of having to try to explain that to my precious young men. And I will admit that I have been putting that off for as long as possibly possible. Yesterday we were getting ready for our final playdate and I explained to the boys that “Noah and Noah’s Mommy” were coming over to swim in the pool with us. Kyle asked, “But where is Noah’s Daddy?” I said my line: “Noah’s Daddy is at work.” Kyle and Owen looked at each other silently for a second. Then Kyle scrunched up his eyebrows and said: “But where are all the Daddy’s?”

When the boys are playing they often pretend that they are taking care of animals or “rescuing” them. This obviously stems from their love of Go Diego Go videos (Diego is an “Animal Rescuer”). When they play with their dolls they almost always pretend that their dolls are being naughty and they have to give these dolls time outs for bad behavior. Lately they will regularly explain to me what they are pretending while they are pretending it (“I am rescuing Baby Jaguar!!!”/”I need to save the baby condors!!”/etc… & “He has a TIME OUT!!! He hit me!”/”He bit me!”/”He kicked me!”/”He is acting up!”/”He is talking back to me!!!!”). Kyle and Owen always explain that they are the animal’s “Mommy” or the doll’s “Mommy”… I have never once observed them pretend to be the “Daddy” or the “Papi.”

The vast majority of the boys’ time playing is spent rolling around in the driveway on anything that has wheels. They constantly announce cheerily that they are “GOING TO WORK!!!” Sometimes they will find something that they can pretend is a bag to carry over their shoulder. They are very animated as they incessantly explain: “I’m going to my office! I’m going to work now! It is time to go to work!!!” And often — very often — they add on: “I’m going to Lehigh!” or “I’m going to my Lehigh office!” or “My office is at Lehigh!” I have rarely ever observed them pretend to be going go Papi’s office. They are always going to my office.

Yesterday I was on the phone with a friend. When I got off the boys were asking about who it was and what we were talking about. I was trying to explain to the boys that the point of the phone call was to try to set up a regular playdate with them and their Nanny Alex and Annabelle and Annabelle’s Nanny Sonya. I said, “It will be Kyle, Owen, Alex, Annabelle, and Sonya!” Owen said, “That sounds like fun!” Kyle said, “Yea! That sounds like fun!” Then Kyle paused for a second and said, “Where are the Mommys going to be?” And Owen said, “That’s silly Kyle!!! The Mommys will be working!!!!!!” And they both laughed then kept playing.