Braydon and I are overly educated. We both have doctorates. We read a lot. We understand the intrigue of thinking deep thoughts and pondering life’s curiosities. However, we’re regularly stumped by the questions our two three year old’s pose. Is there a “right” answer????????????? Are there cliff notes on any of this??????
Top Ten K & O Questions From the Past Few Days:
- What is ‘God’?
- Mommy, you have a beard under your armpits?
- Why is Curious George so curious?
- In the toilet, when I flush it, where do my poopies go?
- Why are spectacled bears afraid of pumas?
- Mommy, what are you afraid of?
- Do girl bugs have a vagina?
- But mommy, why aren’t your breasts so big and huge like that other lady’s breasts?
- When can I get a real real trombone – a real instrument trombone – so I can make trombone music – WHEN?
- When I’m grown up can I have a penis and a vagina both??
P.S. Since writing this post I’ve received the funniest emails this morning from people asking me what I actually have said in response to these questions!! Just for the heck-of-it, here ya go:
- What is ‘God’? What went through my head: “Oh my God, I have no idea!!!” What came outta my mouth: “Go ask Papi!”
- Mommy, you have a beard under your armpits? What went through my head: “Oh my God, I really need to shave. When did I last shave???” What came outta my mouth: “Yes, sweetie, it is kinda like a beard!”
- Why is Curious George so curious? What went through my head: “Oh my God, I HATE these freeeekin’ Curious George books soooooooooo much.” What came outta my mouth: “I don’t know why sweetie. Why do you think he’s so curious!??”
- In the toilet, when I flush it, where do my poopies go? What went through my head: “Oh my God, why do we alllllllllllllllwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyys have to talk about poopies around here?” What came outta my mouth: “Go ask Papi!”
- Why are spectacled bears afraid of pumas? What went through my head: “Oh my God, I HATE these freeeekin’ Diego videos soooooooooo much.” What came outta my mouth: “I don’t know why sweetie. Why do you think they’re afraid of pumas!??”
- Mommy, what are you afraid of? What went through my head: “Oh my God, where do I even begin?? Ummmm…. I’m afraid of you dying; I’m afraid of your brother dying; I’m afraid that you’ll both hate me when you’re teenagers; I’m afraid you’ll get a terrible terminal illness; I’m afraid you’ll never be able to catch a cab in a city; I’m afraid I love you too much; I’m afraid of dark alleys and scary men; I’m afraid our house is going to burn to the ground and we’re going to lose everything; I’m afraid that you and your brother will drown in the swimming pool because I’m so exhausted that I can barely keep my eyes open right now……………” What came outta my mouth: “Who wants a snack?!!!”
- Do girl bugs have a vagina? What went through my head: “Oh my God, I have no idea.” What came outta my mouth: “Go ask Papi.”
- But mommy, why aren’t your breasts so big and huge like that other lady’s breasts? What went through my head: “Oh my God.” What came outta my mouth: “Who wants a snack?!!!”
- When can I get a real real trombone – a real instrument trombone – so I can make trombone music – WHEN? What went through my head: “Oh my God, how much does a real trombone cost??? How heavy are they? Could he even hold one??” What came outta my mouth: “Maybe for your birthday sweetie?!!”
- When I’m grown up can I have a penis and a vagina both?? What went through my head: “Oh my God, I suppose that if they can do surgery to change the genitalia then they could technically do surgery to give someone both, right? Well, at least by the time he’s 21 they’ll probably have that technology in place, right???” What came outta my mouth: “When you’re 18 sweetie, then you can make that decision for yourself. And I’ll always love you no matter what because I am your Mama. Now, who wants a snack?!”