The two big topics with the boys these days are: 1] Poop (what almost-4-year-old-boy isn’t obsessed with poop??? and why why why does this have to be so????), and 2] God. Today I want to focus on the latter, mostly because — at least to me — it is much more interesting than the poop. Anyway, re: the God topic– they are way into it. Like, waaaaaay way into it. They are trying to get a handle on it. They are fascinated and confused by it. And, especially in the past 24 hours, they’ve been totally fixated on it.
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This stems in part from a book I recently bought for them; a book that they’ve since become enamored with and fixated upon. The book is He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands, illustrated by Kadir Nelson, which (for anyone who knows his work, you understand…) makes it a valuable piece of art in its own right. You could literally take any one page and frame it. The text of the book is simply the words to the song/spiritual. The whole package is a beautiful, powerful, glossy, gorgeous book to savor. I highly recommend it to anyone coming from any religious/spiritual orientation (as long as you believe that there is some sort of higher power, the book is just about as simply perfect as you can get). Anyway, the glory of this book is definitely not lost on K & O. They adore it in every way, and it is their current fav book of choice. Not only do they want it read (and then sung) to them over and over and over, but they need to study the pages and ask a million questions each time. And very recently, Kyle’s been singing the song (with perfect pitch, by the way) repeatedly (i.e., semi-obsessive-compulsively).
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So, they are trying to comprehend whatever they possibly can about God (aren’t we all?). And we (but really, I, since Braydon tends to blank out, deferring to me entirely whenever humanly possible when K & O raise this subject) are doing our best to answer the questions and respond to the commentary. It is… well… challenging for me (to say the least).
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Right now the concept that God is not a person is looming large. If not a person, if not an animal, if not an anything tangible, then what, exactly, is it? And the way that we figuratively –not literally– use “He” (as in, “He’s got the whole world…”) is utterly mystifying to them (and, I should say, very hard for me to try to explain in 3 year old terms… um, figurative literary word usage and historical patriarchal hegemonic cultural baggage… hard stuff to grapple with when you’re THREE). And the idea that God “holds us in his hands” seems to hang in their intellectual balance between being downright baffling and making perfect sense. We’re all over the map with this whole thing right now… but however complex and confusing, it is big right now. My highest priorities at this point are to try to convey to them that– a) God is all around us and in us; that b) God is all that is good and right; and that c) God is above/beyond us and to be revered by us. I have no idea if they are getting ‘a’ and ‘b’ at all. But, this morning at the breakfast table, there was sure-sign proof that ‘c’ is definitely sinking in.
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Braydon is away on a “work trip” so it was just the boys and I at the table. About halfway through their pancakes Owen dramatically reminded Kyle and I that “WE FORGOT TO SAY GRACE!!!!!!” We stopped everything to oblige– holding hands to say it, as we always do. The boys were in a wild and silly mood this morning (what else is new?) and grace (the grace that we say and have always said for every meal) followed in suit: in crazy voices with wild bodily movements, barely able to contain themselves, they belted out– “God is great, God is good, we give thanks, for our food, and help us to be ever mindful of other’s needs and POOP! POOP! POOP!” (the last word is supposed to be “wants”). They are repeating “Poop!” at the tops of their lungs, slapping their chests, their eyes are locked in with each other, laughing so hard that they are falling out of their chairs. They think this is the funniest thing ever. I sat there soberly and solemnly (and dramatically) exuding the most intensely grave “Ohhhh, this is serious“-look I can possibly muster as I slowly sip my green pregnancy tea (wishing for strong dark coffee). Their laughter falls short pretty quick. They bat a few eyes at me in an attempt to warm me up. But it fails miserably (at least from all outward appearances). And then Kyle takes the bait: “What Mommy?” I go for the jugular: “Kyle and Owen, just remember: saying grace is talking to God, and God’s got the whole world in his hands.” Dead silence. They look at me like they are watching their first horror movie. I proceed: “God’s got you in his hands. Kyle and Owen. In God‘s hands.” As if the whole thing was scripted for a Sunday School Educational Video, completely on cue, the two of them look at each other, swiftly grab hands, and re-recite grace in the most reverent tone I have ever heard come out of the two of them. With no “poop” inserted. None whatsoever. As soon as it was done, Owen instantaneously says, “Mommy, I’ll be right back!” and he takes off upstairs, Kyle right on his heels. They return 60 seconds later and hand me their fav book of the moment. And I had to read it to them, and sing it to them, (with about 300 questions in between), 4 times over the course of the second half of their pancakes.