Braydon had to leave early this morning for a meeting, so I drove the boys to school. From the minute we got into the car they were at each other– Owen grabbed Kyle’s hat, K grabbed O’s hat, O threw K’s hat, K threw O’s hat, O tugged on K’s hood, K slapped O on the shoulder, O shoved K, etc…. lots of fussing and carrying on. About three minutes into the drive I had had enough. “Boys! Cut it out! CUT! IT! OUT! That’s ENOUGH!” Silence for about 60 seconds. Then:
K: Mommy?
H: Yes Kyle?
K: Mommy, I’m getting mad at you.
O: Me too!
K: Mommy, I think Owen is feeling angry. Angry at you Mommy. And I’m getting mad at you too.
H: O.k. You can be mad at me.
K: Actually, I’m getting mad at Owen. Yes. I’m getting mad at Owen.
O: I’m having a bad day. Mommy, did you hear me? I said, ‘I’m having a bad day.’
H: Oh. Owen, why are you having a bad day?
O: I am having a bad day. Because you are saying mean things to me Mommy. You are saying very mean things to me and to Kyle.
H: Like what? What mean things am I saying?
O: You said ‘that’s enough!’ That was very mean. That’s why I’m mad at you Mommy. That’s why. And that’s why I’m having a bad day. That’s why.
H: O.k.
K: I’m mad at Owen. I’m super mad at Owen.
O: Kyle, why are you mad at me? Why Kyle?
K: Because you broke my hood Owen! You broke my hood and you threw my hat!
O: Oh.
K: That’s why!
O: Oh. Kyle, I have an idea– let’s be mad at Mommy.
K: O.k.
O: We’re mad at Mommy. Right Kyle?
K: Yes, that’s right!
O: That’s exactly right! We’re mad at Mommy!
K: Yes! She needs to go to her room!
O: Yes, and she needs to have a big huge time out!
K: Yes! She is poopie Mommy!
O: Yes! Poopie Mommy!
K: Owen, let’s talk about POOP!
O: POOP!
K: Poop and poop and poop!
O: Pooooooooop!!!!!!
[hysterical laughter, followed by happy banter for the rest of the drive to school]