Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the whole ‘black on the outside but white on the inside’ slam that is often flung at certain black kids. Many of my black students at Lehigh talk about this extensively — about how they are scrutinized, criticized, and mocked for “acting white” (i.e., for being exceptionally good students, dressing ‘clean cut,’ moving outside their neighborhoods of origin, etc., etc., etc.) Many of my Asian students at Lehigh talk about being called “bananas” (i.e., yellow on the outside but white on the inside) for dating white people, excelling in subjects other than math/science, playing physical-contact sports, etc., etc., etc. I’ve listened to them as they tell me their experiences with these slams — and our conversations have been deep, dark, soul-searching conversations. I’ve handed them Kleenex as 300 pound gorgeous football-playing black guys have cried on the couch in my office. And I’ve hugged them as beautiful sparkling the-world-in-the-palm-of-their-hands Asian young women have fallen apart in front of me while recounting their stories. My conversations with these students on the topics of “oreos” and “bananas” have been gut-wrenching and heart-breaking… even long before I became the mother of Kyle and Owen. And now, these conversations have taken on a whole new depth for me as I worry about what the future holds for my precious boys. I cringe, even as I type ‘o-r-e-o’. For as much as we try to devote ourselves to parenting them in a way that will help them to know and embrace their ‘blackness,’ I’m very aware that we will not be able to protect them from the slamming slashing ‘oreo’ junk that will surely be flung their way. Today I read a great post on a blog I like. It articulates so many of my own thoughts and questions, but so much better than I could have written myself. Read it by clicking here (blog is My American Melting Pot, post is dated April 30).