Braydon

Twins are challenging in terms of who covers whom. People often tell me sports analogies: “With one, you can trade off and perform full coverage; with two you have to go man to man coverage.” Then the joke goes that with three you have to play zone defense. Right now we’re with man to man coverage, or parent to toddler coverage with both running backs heading for opposite end-zones.

And when you’re working your butt off to have a balanced marriage (which we do every day – sometimes more successfully than others) and balanced parenting it can be down-right nutty. Whose rules go where, what happens when he bites, or kicks, or runs out into the middle of the street? Instant time-out? One warning and time out? Yelling or total detachment? “Do you think that is really productive?” So you celebrate the little accomplishments when they come.

Last night Owen had a “paci-event”, which translated means his pacifier fell out of his mouth in the night while he was sleeping and he wanted it, but was too half-asleep to figure out that it’s in the same place it always is – attached to his pj’s about 3 inches from his mouth.

I woke up hearing him crying out in a very forelorne voice: ‘Mapi’, ‘Mapi’. I realized then, at 2 AM, that he was combining Mama + Papi to come up with Mapi.

It’s the little accomplishments that matter.

Right now the boys are obsessed with motors. All things motors, and everything seems to have a motor. Even Owen has a motor – ‘papi, watch me, my motor’ and he points to his bum and makes a motor noise and takes off running. Going a step further, they are obsessed with the lawn mower, the car motor, the weedeater and the chain saw. Every day they want to see the motors in both cars. ‘papi – white car motor?’ I hear when I get back from work. ‘Don’t touch it – it’s hooooot! [sounds like huuuuut]’ I pick them up (all 70+ pounds together) and show them the motor. They can both consistently point to the “motor”, the “air filter” and the “battery”…not that they have any idea what any of those are, but they can do it!. And they can point to the muffler on the cars, on the weedeater and the chainsaw.

I could easily be one of the people to who says “well, they’re boys, of course they love motors!”, and wouldn’t that be so easy. Maybe there is some predisposition to liking motors. But I seriously doubt that embedded in the psyche are the instructions for “locate battery in 2004 Acura and 2000 Volvo, note that they are both next to air-filter, but not the air-filter”. Or that they come pre-programmed with “Make really loud motor noises when looking at machinery – oh and by the way – that’s a piece of machinery.

They might come pre-programmed with things like: “Papi looks at motors, I love my papi and am interested in what he’s interested in. He talks about cars and trucks and lawn mowers all the time, it must be interesting. I’m hardly a developmental psychologist, but I assume that it’s true that I am having a strong influence on them in a wide variety of things that they do – related to motors and otherwise.

Which of course for me begs the question: Will boys be boys? I know we are trying really hard to make them boys (it appears it’s working based on the picture below). But I really really really want them to be good boys. Nice and respectful, thoughtful, generous and super confident boys. That might be harder to accomplish than interesting them in all things motors.

But maybe when I catch Kyle looking in the mirror with his skull cap on dancing and singing “I’m gonna catch you” by Laurie Berkner, it might be working. Or when Owen gives me and Heather a kiss before we leave for daycare we’re on the right track. Or when they offer their lollipop to someone, or when when Kyle gives Owen his lovey lion when Owen is crying – maybe so.

I got this photo this morning from my phone – that’s Kyle bombing down the drive way on the ‘blue’ truck (that also apparently has a motor) and Owen patiently waiting his turn.

It’s safe to say that for everyone, some days are better than others. The two days of this past weekend were great for our family; particularly Saturday. Little Gym was great, there were Frisbees for the first time (K&O throw those at home already so it was a riot to watch them launch them across the room). And Charlie and Sandy had a party next door to celebrate their heading to India to complete the adoption. Our family loves social events – all four of us. The weather was gorgeous – a little crisp, a little frost, light wind and sunny afternoons – perfect fall family days.

But maybe it was that Kyle is getting over a cold and was coughing all night, or that Owen woke up needing help with his pacifier several times, or that Heather woke up with terrible stomach pains and was up from 3AM until we got up. Or maybe those things added up – with normal Monday distress over getting back to a normal week – got us off to a difficult start.

Heather and I got up before the boys (to shower and get ready); I made coffee and moved the car seats from the courtesy loaner car to the ‘Black Car’. I heard Owen and Kyle walk from their room to our room – they were up. When I went upstairs, Heather was sitting on the bathroom floor, half-ready with both boys on her lap in their pj’s with all stuffed animals, pacifiers and thumb sucking present. They just needed a little snuggle with their Mommie. We got them dressed, downstairs, warm milk for both boys (‘not cold Papi, just warm’) and shoes on to go to daycare. Owen had his normal transition troubles before we got in the car – he’s going through a bit of a phase with that. What do you expect, he’s 2 1/2!

Heather and I typically call each other after daycare drop off to talk about how it went.

Owen had brought a book with him – “Black All Around” it’s one of their favorites right now. When they went into the preschool room he held it up to show everyone – so proud, but folks and kids were busy and they weren’t really paying attention. When they got back to the toddler room, he figured he would try it again and enthusiastically held it up to show everyone. Heather highlighted it with “Owen brought a book in to show everyone!” but it was time for breakfast and they would look at it later. It’s totally understandable, but deflating none-the-less. Poor guy.

They got into their chairs, got their bibs on and were served breakfast (it’s really a great situation when you think consider it). But Kyle looked up at Heather and quietly said “I want Honey Bunny, Mama.” Heather gently told him HB was in the car and that he could have it after day care. “Please, Mama, I want Honey Bunny.” She said, HB’s twin is up in his cubby, did he want him? He did and she got down the HB that he uses to nap with at daycare. He held Honey Bunny up to his face and sucked his thumb while breakfast was served. “Mama, where’s Sheep?” Sheep is in the car, you can have him after day care baby. There is no twin sheep at daycare. There is Lovey Lion’s twin, but Lovey Lion is Owen’s. Heather left to go to work. I know after a few minutes they got into the day and everything was fine, but it’s just very hard sometimes.

Of course, when I got home everything was fine. Heather, Kyle and Owen were there playing outside in the yard. They came running up the driveway when they saw ‘the white car’ and both boys insisted on driving down the cul-de-sac with me – too funny. Owen likes to grab the steering wheel while sitting in my lap. When I try to correct before we drive into a neighbor’s yard and I am informed ‘NO PAPI!’ and he cranks the wheel the otherway. All in all he’s not a bad driver, look out NASCAR… in 20 years. After driving, Kyle needs to go see Papi’s lawnmower (in the garden shed along with the chainsaw and weedeater – they mimic the sounds of each).

So what started off rough ended right. That is of course what happens with you’re in love with your family.

And one last thing: a picture from going to the park last week. They just can’t get enough of throwing rocks in the little river.