Cloudscome at Sandy Cove Trail has tagged me for an Anti-Racist Parent meme (click here for Cloudscome’s answers on her blog; click here for Carmen’s answer’s on the Anti-Racist Parent Blog).
I’ve been tagged for memes a few times but, with the exception of two previous occasions, I haven’t actually done them (I know, I know, I’m a bad bad blogger girl!)… But I love doing them, so don’t stop tagging me my blogger friends! This is my second meme that I’ve done from Cloudscome — click here for my first. For the only other meme I’ve done, click here.
Anti-Racist Parent Meme
1. I am: Swedish. Almost 100% Swedish. Both of my parents are Swedish. Both sides of the family are Swedish. Almost all of my grandparents and great-grandparents are/were first or second generation Swedish. For more details I’d need to ask my parents. Ethnically, growing up, we were very, very Swedish… specifically Swedish Lutheran. On both sides of the family they were all very, very Swedish Lutheran. In terms of race, I think of myself as white and incredibly racially privileged.
2. My kids are: Haitian-American. Kyle and Owen, age 3, twins. I usually don’t think of them as “African American,” although I’m consciously aware that many (if not most) people do. I think of them as Haitian or Haitian-American or Caribbean-American or Afro-Caribbean-American. In terms of race, I think of them as black… or again, Haitian or Haitian-American or Afro-Caribbean-American. Ethnically, I think of them as Haitian, but it is complicated because we adopted them at age 8 months, so everything they are learning about their ethnicity (right now at least) is heavily influenced (if not entirely controlled) but us. When people ask me “Where are they from?” I proudly answer, “Haiti!” (My response to the worst version of that question: “What are they???” is always the same: I tilt my head to the side, squint my eyes to look confused, and say with a tone of fake sincerity, “What do you mean???”) Kyle and Owen know that they were born in Haiti and now they are beginning to proudly say “Haiti!” if they hear people ask where they are from.
3. I first started thinking more about race, culture, and identity when: Honestly, in all all all honesty, I cannot remember a time that I wasn’t thinking about race, culture, and identity. I get asked a lot by my students why I think this is (that I started thinking about it so early on in my life). I truly don’t know why it is. I have some ideas– my parents were very progressive, I was raised in a semi-cooperative-communal sort of ‘campy’ environment, I was exposed to some racial diversity and multicultural philosophies early in life, etc… but really there is not a good answer for why it is that I’ve been so pre-occupied with it my entire life. In college I majored in sociology and focused heavily on, amongst some other things, the sociology race, culture, and identity. Then I went on to get a PhD in sociology focusing on — in layman’s terms — the same general areas. Now I’m a university professor trying to teach and write about this stuff. And, like everyone else in the world, I’m currently living this stuff too.
4. People think my name is: Heather. And they are right. The only thing people get confused about is my last name. My legal last name is Johnson. And that is my official “author” name (the name I publish with in my professional/scholarly work). I started publishing before I got married and long before K & O were on the scene. When we got married, I stuck with “Johnson,” but Braydon officially changed his name to “Johnson-McCormick” and began using that name professionally as well as socially. Then Kyle and Owen joined us and we became a family. K & O’s last name is “Johnson-McCormick.” So now, in order for it to be as clear and simple as possible for K & O, I use “Johnson-McCormick” as my last name in every sphere of life except for my publishing/professional life. Right now the boys have no comprehension that I am an author — let alone that I use “Johnson” in the publishing world but “Johnson-McCormick” in the rest of the world.
5. The family tradition I most want to pass on is: I can’t limit it to one. I had a wonderful childhood and have amazing parents who instilled strong traditions. I’ll do my best by limiting it to my top three: 1) Lots of “I love you’s” each and every day. 2) Tucking my kids in at night until they are too old to tolerate it any longer — whatever age that is, but I’m shooting for that tradition ending when, and only when, they start sleeping w/ someone in their bed who is not a family member… and they want that person, instead of me, to be the one to “tuck them in.” 3) Eating dinner together almost every night and talking, as a family, around the dinner table.
6. The family tradition I least want to pass on is: sibling-relationship-angst.
7. My child’s first word in English was: Kyle: mama Owen: kitty
8. My child’s first non-English word was: K & O were 8 months old when we adopted them so they were not speaking yet. But they were hearing Creole, and only Creole, for their first 8 months. They didn’t understand the word “no” with an English/American accent… but we quickly realized that they fully understood the word “no” if we said it firmly with a Creole accent.
9. The non-English word/phrase most used in my home is: “Vamanos Amigos!!!”
10. One thing I love about being a parent is: watching my boys eat — with gusto — something that they love that I made. Nothing gives this mom greater satisfaction!
11. One thing I hate about being a parent is: feeling responsible for the grind of getting three whole healthy balanced meals on the table each and every day.
12. To me, being an anti-racist parent means: being as conscious and cognizant as possible of racism, constantly. And teaching my children everything I possibly can about racism, every single step of the way. My goal at this point is to: 1) instill in my children as much self-confidence as humanly possible, and 2) help them to understand that it is the world that is crazy, not them. As we proceed, my goal is for our family and home to be a steady compassionate oasis in the world for my two beautiful black boys.
I am tagging: Every blogger reading this who considers themselves to be an Anti-Racist Parent. You know who you are. Leave a comment here so that I will know when you’ve completed this meme.
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