Heather and I took K&O to the driving range again today – it was a gorgeous afternoon and we couldn’t resist.
There are yardage markers on the range.
Using his 5 wood, Kyle can hit the ball about 40 yard with 5 yards roll.
Using hi 9 iron, Owen can hit the ball about 25 yards and it drops like a rock.
Kyle is taking to coaching “Put the star next to the ball, stretch your arms out and back up” And WHACK!
Owen swings and swings and swings. And WHACK!
We actually have two cats, but one of them has been in hiding ever since the boys came home from Haiti in January 2005. We rarely see her and the boys have only made actual physical contact with her maybe five times EVER. Shockingly, the other cat (Cooper is his name) hangs around the boys a lot. Perhaps this is because they are constantly trying to feed him treats? But still… it is totally beyond my comprehension why this cat is ever voluntarily in the presence of Kyle and Owen…
Top Ten Recent Cat-Related Quotes
from the Parents of the Johnson-McCormick Twins:
1. “Take the stickers off the kitty!”
2. “No! The kitty does not eat hummus!”
3. “No! The kitty does not eat yogurt!”
4. “You know what? The kitty does not want to ride in your truck.”
5. “Kyle, just let the kitty be alone in there — he does not want your head sticking inside his kitty litter box!!!”
6. “Owen, I’m not going to say it again — do not pull the kitty’s tail.”
7. “O.k., boys, that’s enough. When he hisses like that it means he wants you to stop that!”
8. “No, those are his whiskers. They don’t come out!“
9. “Guys! Guys! Guys! Stop chasing the cat! Leave him alone!!!!!!”
10. “Put the cat down RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!”
Owen Blows Out His Two Candles ~ May, 2006
Kyle Blows Out His Two Candles ~ May, 2006
In just five days Kyle and Owen will turn three. The boys’ birthday is all sweet for them. For me it is bitter sweet. For the third year in a row I find myself with mixed emotions. On the one hand, I am — of course — beyond grateful and joyful that they were born. I feel blessed deep down in my heart. On the other hand, I can’t help but think of their birthmother and what she (and K & O) went through on that day that they were born in the red-hot-heat of Cite Soleil, Port-au-Prince, Haiti. I feel grief and sorrow deep down in my heart. It is a lot of emotion to hold in one heart. Still, though, I don’t think that huge amount of emotion even compares to the huge amount of emotion that I see Kyle and Owen feeling right now: Their birthday party is Saturday, and the excitement is building by the hour. It is all about “candle cakes” and “balloons” and “friends” and “music”… it is, in essence, all about love. As with me, some day Kyle and Owen’s birthday emotions will probably be more complicated and confusing. But right now, at age just-about-to-turn-three, it is crystal clear in their hearts and minds: their birthday is nothing but all sweet. As their mama, I can’t help but go all out for their third grand birthday bash. And there is a lot to love about all of that. Happy Love Thursday everyone!Kyle, Braydon, Owen ~ watching a Dora video after supper tonight
We talk a lot about adoption in our family. Kyle and Owen know their story (or at least a very simplistic version of it). But it is not clear how much they understand their story (even the very simplistic version of it). Tonight, as I was getting Kyle into his pajamas he pointed to a picture on his wall (a framed map of the Caribbean Islands). He said, “Mama, what is that? You say it.” I said, “You know!” He said, “No, you say it.” I said, “That’s the Caribbean Islands and Haiti.” He then pointed to the other picture on his wall (a frame surronding two photos of the boys when they were infants and an image of the Haitian flag), and said, “Mama, what’s that one? You say it.” I said, “That’s you and Owen when you were little tiny babies. In the orphanage in Haiti.” Kyle said, “Yes. Let’s see it.” I lifted him up and he looked quietly and closely at both pictures on the wall. I pointed to Haiti and said, “See, that’s Haiti island. That’s where you were born.” He said, “Born.” It was silent for a minute, then he said, “O.k. Mama.” I then laid him back down on the floor and we continued to get his pajamas on. And this is the conversation that occurred:
Kyle: Mama, me and Owen, me and Owen, where was my mama and my papi?
Heather: We were here, waiting for you. We were waiting and waiting to get our babies.
K: But we needed a mama and a papi.
H: Yes, you needed a mama and a papi. You did. You did! And we went on a big airplane to Haiti to get you! And we adopted you!
K: Yes, adopted.
H: Yes. And now you have a mama and a papi.
{…then, we cuddled and snuggled for a minute… Kyle giggling…}
K: Adopted.
H: Yes, you and Owen were adopted. Who else was adopted?
K: {smiling ear to ear…} Ben!
H: Yes! And who else?
K: Um, you say it!
H: Ambika and Nate were adopted!
K: Yes! Ambika and Nate adopted! And who else?
H: And Joy Lin was adopted!
K: Yes! Joy Lin adopted!
H: Yes! And who else?
K: And you! You adopted!
H: Yes, I guess in a way, you and Owen adopted me! Our whole family was adopted! We adopted each other.
K: Yay adoption! YAY! Let me pick out a book.{He then picked out I Love You Like Crazy Cakes (click here)… an adoption book that he has never, ever, ever before picked out as a bedtime book…}
The building next door to my office is Grace Hall — a beatiful historic old gymnasium which has been converted into a combination Student Center and modern sports/events venue. One of the things that Kyle and Owen love to do whenever they’re on campus is to go into Grace Hall and explore. They love to explore the charming dimly lit hallways, and peek out the ancient tall windows, and ride up and down in the elevators. We’ll often run into students mingling about, or shooting hoops, or practicing volleyball, and the boys (and the students) get a big kick out of spontaneously interacting with each other. The boys also love to go inside the main center of the building and climb up and down the bleachers. We do this often. It has become a little ritual for Kyle and Owen every time we’re leaving “Mama’s Office” to head home. Students have often told me that they “love it when the twins come to Grace Hall!” They are fun to watch as they explore and climb.
Yesterday afternoon I had the boys on campus with me. Of course we had to go into Grace Hall before we got in the car to go home. The boys were doing what they always do — exploring and climbing up and down the bleachers. I noticed a middle-aged white woman in a Lehigh Athletics uniform watching us through a window. Then I saw her enter the big room where we were, and she started to approach me. Here is what transpired:
Woman (W): Who are these children?
[The woman then walked off.]
Heather (H): What?!?
W: Are they with you?
H: Yes.
W: You’re watching them?
H: What do you mean?
W: Are you watching them?
H: Like, am I watching them climb? Or, like, am I watching them? [as in babysitting]W: You know what I mean. Are you watching them? [as in babysitting] Are they with you?
H: Yes, they are with me.
W: Who are they to you?
H: Excuse me?
W: Who are they to you?
H: They are my children. They are my sons.
W: Oh. [long awkward pause] Well, who are you? Do you work here?
H: Yes. I am a professor here.
W: Oh.
H: Is there a problem?
W: I, um, um, I don’t want anything to happen to those children.
H: What do you mean?
W: I wouldn’t want to see them get hurt.
H: Well, neither would I! I’m their mother!!?! They’re perfectly fine.
W: Well, the building is officially closed.
H: My office is right next door. I know the building is not officially closed. I know the building is open.There are lots of different schools of thought on parenting, and it does seem like some people out there are absolutely confident about their own parenting techniques, but I surely am not one of them. However, in regards to this one specific thing — Owen’s paci — I actually feel really sure that our approach is the right approach. It is funny how I can feel so unsure so much of the time in the grand universe of all-things-parenting-related, but then every once in a while there will be some tiny molecule in the grand universe about which I feel 100% certain that I’m doing the right thing. The decision making about Owen’s paci is one of those things. When we first met our baby boy Owen he was eight months old and had not one possession in the world to call his own. He had never had a shirt of his own, or a shoe on his foot, let alone a toy, or something so completely frivolous as a pacifier. Bottles and formula were sparse in the orphanage. Pacifiers were nonexistent. During our eight months of waiting for the boys to come home I did a lot of reading. Baby books are all over the map about pretty much everything, but in regards to pacifiers they were actually totally consistent. All of the baby books I read said the same thing — if a baby begins using a pacifier in his first three months then he has a good chance of getting “hooked” on it; but if a baby hasn’t had a pacifier before age 3 months then he’ll never take to one. Given that Kyle and Owen were way past that 3 month mark we never even considered bringing a pacifier to Haiti with us. However, I knew after our first night in the hotel with the boys that Owen should have been a pacifier baby. I even remember saying that to Braydon in Haiti: “Man, if only they had pacifiers in Haiti! This baby would have really liked one!” Owen loved to suck on the bottle. When the formula ran out he would scream. For sure, this was partly because he had been starving. It is a very normal behavior for infants coming from such situations. But my gut told me, right from the start, that Owen also really liked to suck. And for whatever reason — unlike Kyle who sucked his thumb round the clock (and still does) — Owen just never got any satisfaction out of the thumb. We got the boys home, and started getting settled in. During my parents’ very first visit to meet the boys (we had only been home for a few days), my mother had the same feeling I did — that Owen should have had a pacifier. I told her about all the books I’d read but she went out to the store and bought a pacifier anyway. I remember saying, “Mom, he won’t take it!!!” But then I watched as my mom put the pacifier into my baby’s mouth, and then we all watched as he sucked on it contentedly. It was as if he was just a few days old. And that was a good thing. It is good for a baby who has been deprived to get to go back (even if only figuratively), and “re-do” some of those early stages and phases. Our baby Owen loved the paci. Soon he couldn’t sleep without the paci. We were never big on using the paci all day long, but when he needed soothing, or when he needed sleep, the paci did the trick for our boy. Kyle never showed any interest. And interestingly, Kyle never seemed to care that Owen had this possession that he did not. He seemed genuinely happy for his brother to have found some contentment. Even now Kyle will often find Owen’s paci for him and put it in his mouth at bedtime or naptime. Owen’s paci is Owen’s special thing. Even though Owen is about to turn three, he still shows almost no signs of giving up the pacifier. And this is something I feel good about: We made the decision long ago that we’re letting him keep it until he decides he’s ready to be done with it. And we’re sticking to that. I did ask our pediatrician about Owen’s paci at Owen’s two-year-old-check-up. We’re fortunate to have found a pediatrician with a specialty in orphanage/adoption medicine, and she fully understands the scope of our situation. She told me that in her opinion we were making the right decision to let Owen keep the pacifier as long as he wants. Her theory is that because he hadn’t had enough sucking satisfaction as an infant, he is keeping the pacifier longer than usual (of course, as she pointed out – plenty of kids suck their thumbs far into childhood!). I asked her about what all the books say – that using a pacifier past age two is bad because of the damage it can do to the teeth. She said, “Well, what do you think?” I said, “Well, I think I’d rather deal with mega orthodontist bills in a few years than mega psychiatrist bills!” (not that letting him keep the paci will necessarily avoid and/or pave the road to either). But our pediatrician looked me in the eye and said, “I agree.” Interestingly, at daycare Owen stopped using his paci around age 18 months. When he naps there (5 days a week!), he has no paci. But at home, he still wants his paci to sleep. Just a few nights ago Owen told me he doesn’t want the pacifier clip on his pacifier anymore. I’m not sure if I’m reading too far into it or not– but I feel like this is his first step toward giving up the pacifier. I asked him last night if he wants to try going to bed without his paci. He said, “That sounds like a good idea!” But then when bedtime came, he changed his mind: “Mommy, I want my paci,” he said to me. “I need it Mommy.” And I said, “O.k., my baby, here’s your paci.” And he snuggled up tight with his paci in his mouth.
- Saturday we did something that we rarely do (but that we are going to try to do more often). We split up. Braydon took Owen for the day. I took Kyle for the day. I/we could write volumes and volumes just about that. It is so different to be with one baby boy. Whenever we have time alone with one we are so totally totally struck by the incredible complete difference between being with one versus being with two. It is entirely relaxing and enjoyable to be with one. You can get to know the child in a whole new way. You can stop to throw rocks down a drainage hole for 40 minutes if you want to (as Kyle and I did!). You can do things you simply cannot do with twins (like, go out to lunch without needing another adult with you; run errands at stores you wouldn’t be caught dead in alone with the twins; cater to your individual child’s interests/needs/wants instead of constantly negotiating how to swing every single thing with twins…. all of these things, of course, we did on Saturday). Plus, you don’t have to spend gobs of time breaking-up-their-fights and pulling-in-the-reigns-of-their-antics. So, you have gobs and gobs of extra time to go at a leisurely pace and savor the moment. Wow. It is just totally remarkable how extreme the difference is to be with just one. I’m not even sure it is the “just one” thing as much as it is the “not twins” thing… because with twins they are all over each other all the time. They are the same exact age so their interests and development is so in-line that it seems to create some sort of additional frenetic energy that you just don’t see even with two kids (who aren’t twins). Anyway– like I said, I could write on and on about this. But I’m gonna just say this: It was really nice. We’re going to try to do it more often.
- Whenever Braydon and/or I spend time with just one boy we always think about how completely different our life would be if we only had one. We spent the rest of the weekend talking a lot about that. We always wonder about how DRAMATICALLY different our life would have been if two years ago when we got that referral call from the adoption agency they had said they had “a baby” for us (like we were expecting them to say!), instead of “twin babies” for us… Just one would have been very, very, very, very, very different. Not better or worse, just different. O.k., wait, no, scratch that… as much as it is crazy having twins, I would not change it. Truth is, now that we’re doing this — I wouldn’t trade it for the world. No matter how much more manageable it would be with just one I would never ever choose that now. I’d choose twins every single time.
- On Saturday I was driving with Kyle alone in the backseat of the car. Amazing how much you can focus the conversation on where your child wants to take it when there isn’t a twin brother trying to re-direct the conversation according to his own agenda!!!! Anyway– We’re driving along and it was quiet for a long stretch of time. Then, completely 100% out of the blue Kyle says, “Mama?” I said, “Yes?” And he said: “Q just like Nina.” Note: they are both black ~~~ click here re: “Q“… & … click here re: Nina.
- On Sunday night we were sitting down on the back deck to eat dinner at the “outside table” (as the boys call it!). Everybody was just beginning to eat. Owen was just staring off pensively lost in thought (and hadn’t even begun to start eating). Braydon said, “Hey Owen, what are you thinking about?” And Owen, very serenely, said: “Look everybody! Look at the beautiful sky. It is a beautiful sunset!” It was indeed a beautiful sunset. But what was so striking was the way that he was saying it. He was truly just taking a moment to enjoy the lovely evening sky. Braydon looked at me and said, “Is it normal for a just-about-to-turn-3-year-old to say stuff like that????”
- On Sunday we went out for lunch at Nawab — a local Indian restaurant that Braydon and I like (click here). We had not taken the boys out to eat Indian food before. It was a success. Owen actually really liked the food — he especially liked the Vegetable Samosas and the Aloo Palak (a traditional Indian spinach dish). I don’t think he’s ever in his life ingested that much spinach in one sitting! (normally the boys will not even touch spinach) But the huge hit was surely the Mango Lassis. Turns out that Kyle and Owen both love Mango Lassi. They each drank a whole one (in addition to whatever else they ate)!!!
- At one point during the day on Sunday we were getting into the car and the boys were really acting up… i.e., they were pushing, pulling, hitting, biting, kicking, pinching, bugging-the-heck out of each other. Par for the course lately. But it drives me nuts. I was trying to buckle Owen into his carseat and Kyle was annoyingly pulling at his shirt sleeve. Owen wailed off and hit him. Kyle started fussing and then tried to kick Owen back. Etc., etc., etc. I broke it up — “O.k., boys, that’s enough!! Stop it! Enough!” and they reluctantly backed off of each other. I made them apologize to each other and they did semi-unwillingly. As I was trying to clasp the final carseat buckle on Owen’s seat I said what I always say at the end of one of their fighting fiasco’s: “Kyle and Owen– Remember, you’re brothers for life.” And Owen, still agitated from Kyle’s initial annoyance, says, “No! We’re not brothers for life! We can’t want to be brothers for life. We can’t!” I tried to keep a straight face but couldn’t help it and ended up laughing out loud.
- They had played so hard all day long on Sunday, and had so much dirt all over them, that their bath water was murky gray-brown within just a few minutes of them getting into it. After their bath Braydon made them rinse off under the shower because even the bath water seemed so, so dirty by the time they were done.
- For the past few days Kyle is absolutely positively 100% OBSESSED with speakers — particularly the car CD player speakers. He is totally obsessed with trying to understand how the music comes from the speakers. It is extremely difficult to try to explain to a 2-almost-3-year-old the concept of music coming from CD/CD-player/stereo-speakers. He talks about it and asks about it incessantly.
- At one point this weekend we were talking about “favorites.” Kyle and Owen are now fully starting to understand the concept. They listed their favorite foods. Here they are (in the exact order they gave them): Owen– “Quesadillas. Beans. Hot dogs. Biscuits.” Kyle– “Cereal bars. Pasta.” They then said their favorite colors: Owen said, “My favorite color is orange.” Then Kyle says, “My favorite color is orange too.” Then Owen said, “No, Kyle, your favorite color is blue.” And Kyle says, “Oh, yup. It is blue and orange.”
- Late on Saturday afternoon I was getting Owen up from his nap. I sat on Owen’s bed with him and Kyle and read them books for about 45 minutes. In the midst of this I learned that they can both count much, much higher than I thought they could. They can both count to 29. They stop at 29. But they are very, very good at counting all the way up to 29. They also now recognize several letters — K (“for Kyle!”), O (“for Owen!”) for sure. And also H (“for Mama!”), and B (“for Papi!”) most of the time. They are now working on other letters too and they seem eager to really learn all the letters of the alphabet. They can both pretty consistently recognize the numbers 1 through 10.
- At supper last night Owen ate two whole hot dogs. I know I mention this a lot. But let me repeat it again: These kids can eat.
- And these kids are a handful. Two handfuls. By Sunday night, as usual for our Sunday nights, Braydon and I were absolutely exhausted. They are getting easier and easier all the time (I can’t even begin to understand how we got through it a year ago when they were sooo much harder to handle!)… but they really are exhausting. They are so bad all the time. I know, I know, I know… all the parenting experts say you’re not supposed to use the word “bad” in reference to your child… and don’t worry– I don’t use it to describe them within earshot of them… but seriously: they are bad. 😉 They are constantly into everything. You cannot turn your back on them even for a second or they will run off down into the neighbor’s yard where they know they aren’t supposed to go, or dump a big load of rocks from their Tonka truck right in the middle of the lawn even after being told 100 times not to do it, or they will start putting random items into the microwave and turn it on even though they know this is a ‘no-no’ and metal things literally explode right before their eyes, or worse yet– they’ll injure each other in one of their little twin tirades (by the way – all of these things, and more, they did this weekend). Yes, they are bad bad bad boys. But they are soo soooooooo sooooooooooo good. They are happy. And they are fully immersed in life. And they sleep well at night. The same exact things can be said about their parents.
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