About once a week we have a free-for-all supper where everyone gets to choose what they want to eat. {read between the lines here folks: Mama doesn’t have the gumption to get a “real” full-blown hot meal on the table} Tonight Braydon and I ate roast beef sandwiches – a rare treat for us. Here’s what K & O chose–
Owen:
- Quesadilla (made with whole wheat tortilla & cheddar cheese) with “dip” on the side (my homemade french salad dressing – strange combination, I know! – but he absolutely loves it!)
- Fresh cherry tomatoes
- Banana
Kyle:
- Turkey & Cheese Sandwich (on wheat bread, with mayo)
- Homemade chicken soup (with brown rice in it! Kyle eats rice regularly now!), leftover from when I made a big batch of it Saturday
- Fresh avacado
So many things that I could write on this post! So, so, so many things I could write about this photo (above) alone!!! Like:
- How my mother must just be just drooling at the thought of it: another set of baby twins! She’s been telling me for the past year how much she seriously thinks that we should adopt another set of twins from Haiti – “girls this time!” she says. “Yeah, right!” I tell her. But she’s “serious,” she says. “O.k.,” I say, “if you move here and help me do it then I’ll adopt another set of twins.” That’s where the conversation ends. ;0 Sorry, Mom (and Corey!), the babies in the photo are just dolls.
- Ummm…. just looking at this photo — how cute would it be if our boys could have baby brothers/sisters — the baby brother(s)/sister(s) that they so desperately want and beg me for daily?!
- Ummm…. radical feminism. Nurturing boys to be nurturing boys. Raising sons to be feminist men. Egalitarian relationships in action in parenting. ETC.
- Ummm…. Do you know how few baby dolls are black in comparison to how many are white? I’ll tell you this much: much fewer than 10-12% (the actual estimated percent of black people in the U.S. population)… and that is in a Toys R Us just north of Philly– a geographic area with a disproportionatly high number of African-Americans compared to most regions of the rest of the country. And do you know how few of the baby dolls that are “black” are actually as dark or darker than my boys??? (Answer: NONE, none even come close.) I could go on and on about how disturbing this is. But I won’t.
- Ummm…. Just look at that photo (above). How cute is that?????? I could write a whole blog just about how darn adorable my bambinos are. But I’ll spare you…
So– I’ll just tell you a few things about the new dolls…
Today I wanted to buy Owen a baby doll. I have been wanting to do this for awhile because Owen shows so much love and affection for babies. When he sees a baby his impulse is to cradle its head gently in his own hands. He speaks softly to babies: “Hi baby. It’s o.k. baby, it’s o.k.” He really strongly desires a “baby brother” and asks me for this almost daily. Kyle chimes in too, but lately — especially — I’ve noticed it is a bit more Owen’s thing than Kyle’s. I think in theory Kyle wants a baby brother (or sister — Kyle is less adament about the fact that it has to be a brother)… but when Kyle actually sees me hold a baby he gets all bent out of shape. Owen, on the other hand, really wants a baby brother (his stance — and he’s really dug in his heels on this one — no sister, thank you very much), and seems unphased by it when he sees me hold a baby. Although, I must say, that at lunch today Owen saw a baby at another table (we were in a restaurant) and he said, “Mama- see the baby?!” And I said, “Yup.” He said, “I wanna baby brother.” I said, “I know sweetie pie. If we had a baby, who would take care of it?” And Owen thought about that for a second then answered, “Jackson’s mommy.” (!!!!) Anyway– at Toys R Us Owen picked out this beautiful sleeping baby doll. He didn’t want one with the eyes open, only one that was sleeping. It was clear immediately that Owen adored this baby doll. And it was one of those purchases that, immediately after the fact, I felt with all my heart and soul that it was worth every single penny.
We had to buy one for Kyle too (it would have caused the next World War if we hadn’t), and Kyle insisted on getting the exact same one. We got the dolls into the carseats with the boys and they proceeded to feed them with little toy baby bottles for the whole car ride home. Owen, especially, is so nurturing with his baby — he coos to it and gently holds it and carries it around with him and lays it down to sleep and feeds it and talks to it. It is one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen in my life. But the funniest part of this entire thing is the names the boys have come up with for their dolls. Owen named his baby “Douglas” before he was even out of the Toys R Us with it. Kyle couldn’t think of a name, and eventually he asked Owen to name his baby. Owen quickly named Kyle’s baby “Donald.” The inside scoop is that Owen loves Thomas the Train and two of Thomas’s friends are twin trains (coincidentally the only two black trains) whose names are Donald and Douglas. Owen seems to have a particular fondness for these two trains and likes playing with them on his train table. So, it kind of makes sense that he would name his baby Douglas, then Kyle’s baby Donald. I should note, however, that Owen seems completely unselfconscious about the Thomas-BabyDoll connection. He does not seem aware at all that he’s named the babies after the trains (let alone the, uh, twin, uh, black trains?!). But still, aside from all that — really, now, how funny is this Donald-Douglas thing?! (how many kids name their baby dolls Donald and Douglas???)! Especially funny is that of all things- my father’s name is Donald and his brother’s (my uncle’s) name is Douglas. How weird is that?! (Owen has no idea, by the way, of this bizarre coincidence — he only knows my father as “MorFar”). Anyway, I should mention that later in the car ride home Owen announced that in fact his baby’s name is “Douglas James” (again, he’s apparently totally unselfconscious of it, but I should tell those of you amongst our readership that may be unaware that another one of the Thomas trains’ name is James — the red train).
The boys are now asleep in their beds with Douglas James and Donald tucked in tight right beside them… along with Lovey Lion and Hunny Bunny and Sheep of course. Owen fell asleep easier and more peacefully tonight than he has in the past couple of couple weeks.
P.S. One final tidbit about Douglas and Donald: Turns out (this was explained to Braydon and I numerous times today) that Douglas likes “warm milk” and Donald likes “cold milk.” Hmmm… funny how that is!!!—- Owen likes his milk warm, and Kyle like his milk cold!!?? (And of this remarkable ‘coincidence’ too the boys seem completely 100% unselfconscious.) 😉
It’s with mixed feelings that I write this post.
For months and months Kyle and Owen loved to “roll cars with Papi.” That meant they we would sit on the floor in the kitchen and roll cars (or trucks) back and forth. In the beginning they were pretty lousy at it – but at that point they were just over a year old, so it was to be expected. But over time they became more and more accurate and our antics became more and more involved.
We made ramps and tunnels. We used multiple cars. We opened the doors of the cars, we caused crashes “watch out car coming!” In my view of the world it was totally delightful. I loved it and cherish it.
This evening, we rolled cars for about 2 minutes before they were ready to move on to something else – that did not involve me. My boys are growing up. Maybe it’s a phase, maybe they are ready to move on.
On the other hand, before bed, both boys sat on my lap at my computer and listened to music with me – loud music.
We listened to Overture to Candide by Bernstein, Fanfare for the Common Man by Copland and… and… The 1812 Overture by Tchaikovsky – THE WHOLE THING. Not bad for 2.5 year olds. I am really psyched – because they were really into it. And this was for two boys who much prefer running and jumping to sitting.
So, one door closes, another opens. It’s always something new and different, that’s for sure!
Today was “Show Day” at the Little Gym. We’ve been going as a foursome every Saturday morning since late August, and today was the last day of the “fall semester.” Since next Saturday we start the “spring semester” (God knows, we cannot stop now- the boys would despise us forever if we quit Little Gym now!), today was not the end of anything, rather — just a marker in time, a sort of graduation if you will. On “Show Day” everybody is encouraged to bring their extended family to take photos and cheer as the toddlers are all awarded red ribbons that say “I’m a STAR at the LITTLE GYM!” on them. Since we have no family around, we went just the four of us as usual. But Braydon took plenty of photos to make up for it. And Braydon & I clapped and cheered louder for our kids than any of the other parents-gradparents-aunts-uncles-and-cousins-combined did for their kids when each toddler stood on the “stand” with their ribbon proudly raised high above their head. And the highlight of the day for everyone (including K & O) was when Owen stood on the stand with his ribbon over his head and I yelled very loudly above all the clapping — “Yay Owen! YOUR MAMA LOVES YOU!!!” The adults all laughed, the toddlers all squealed with delight, and our Teacher “Miss Jackie” told me later that she “can’t imagine what I’ll do at their college graduation” (neither can I people, neither can I!)… but for my boys it was a proud, proud moment. They brought it up several times during the rest of the day as they re-enacted the scene at home — climbing up on chairs, raising their red ribbons, and directing me to “Say it! Mama! Say it!” —- I’d yell it at the top of my lungs each and every time they’d relive the moment: “Yay Kyle and Owen! Your Mama Loves You!!!” Kyle and Owen loved “Show Day.” Of course it goes without saying that everyday is Show Day for these two…
Our friend Patricia was supposed to come for the weekend from Boston. We had been looking forward to her visit for a very, very long time. Braydon was supposed to pick her up at the airport last night. Sadly, we got a phone call from her that her plane was sitting on the runway, apparently on fire (?!), with firetrucks surrounding it, and her flight was cancelled (she emailed us this photo of the plane scene this morning) . She’ll come again some other weekend — but it was sad for us all. We don’t mind having a weekend all to ourselves with no plans (a rarity for us!), but still… we would have preferred to have our weekend with P. 
We miss you Patricia!
Every night we follow the same ritual for bedtime. Go upstairs, Owen sits on the potty, Kyle stands. Get treats. We wash faces, brush teeth (work on getting chocolate out of teeth), play with water that we should be drinking. Get diapers on, get PJs on.
Then we read books (3 max, selected by the boys) – tonight was “Panda Bear, Panda Bear, What do you see?”, “Big Green Monster”, and “Airport”. After books, we say prayers, which is a riot to hear.
Then it’s time to go to bed. Heather takes Owen out to his room. I say to Kyle, “ok, time for night nights, do you want to give Elmo a kiss?” He nods vigorously every time and wanders off to where Elmo is.
Elmo has his “own bed”. Which is really a couch cushion at the foot of Kyle’s bed. Elmo lies in repose with his companions: two horses, two dolls and a fish. They are all covered by a blanket. The blanket covers up to their eyes. This is Kyle’s doing, he makes sure they are completely covered up the eyes – every night.
Then he reaches down and gives Big Elmo several sweet little boy kisses on the eye. He stands up smiles and climbs in bed. Every night.
That’s my sweet boy.
DISCLAIMER – NOTE BEFORE VIEWING: The photos you are about to see are real. No one has edited them or photoshop’ed them. Everyone in the photos are real people. That is not to say that the children in the photos are not Actors [ac·tor: as defined by American Heritage Dictionary: “a theatrical performer”] … and that is not to say that the tears in the photos are necessarily “real” tears… Yes, the tears were watery and salty, and yes, they were pouring down the children’s faces, but the apparent-traumas/apparent-horrifying-plights of the children you see here are not quite “real” by most measurable standards. These are “terrible two tears,” otherwise referred to as crocodile tears (“false or insincere weeping, a hypocritical display of emotion”), or what-some-might-call fake/put on/save-the-drama-for-your-mama–tears. The children in the photos were not harmed in any way. And the series of photos you are about to view were all taken within 3-4 minutes of each other by a kind, gentle and loving father.
1. During dinner Owen and Kyle ask for popsicle (Owen) and yogurt pop (Kyle).
2. Mama announces that Owen and Kyle can have a popsicle or yogurt pop — if they eat the rest of their supper.
3. Owen and Kyle instantly break out in full blown terrific twos tantrums times two.
4. Upon quickly realizing that Mama is serious, both boys’ tears come to an abrupt stop, they both plead to sit on Mama’s lap, and then they both vigorously finish what’s on their plates.
5. Within mere seconds the plates are clean.
6. Kyle chooses a blue yogurt pop and Owen chooses an orange popsicle… they eat them cheerily.
All’s well that ends well.
This morning we woke up to a sunny bright beautiful clean white dusting of snow…
There is lots of research and literature in the academic, clinical, and popular presses about what most-of-us-common-folk-parents-of-twins call “TwinSpeak.” Of course there are lots of better more clinical more sophisticated ways to explain it, I’m sure, but here’s the gist of it:
TwinSpeak is that ‘secret language’ known to be shared amongst many twins and multiples. TwinSpeak is when twins start babbling as babies, then speaking as toddlers, and they use words and/or phrases (and/or create whole languages) that they — and only they — understand. It is basically when twins develop a verbal form of communication all their own. TwinSpeak includes when twins use words that only each other understand, or when they continue to refer to things in a specific “twinspeak” way despite knowing the “correct” way. It is really interesting. And it is one of the things that makes parenting twins really different than parenting other children. Kyle and Owen have had lots of interesting phases of TwinSpeak over time. I could write tons about this. But for now, I just want to write about one tiny little instance that happened today on our way to daycare.
In the back seat of the “New Blue Car” the boys were chit-chatting along, as usual. It was quiet for a bit then Owen — with his fingers fiddling around with his eyes/eyeballs — suddenly announced: “See my TomKat?!”
He said it again, “SEE MY TOMKAT?!” I was desperately trying to understand what he was saying, so I was silent for a second. Owen said, “Hey, Kyle, see my TomKat?!”
Here’s what then transpired:
Kyle: “Yeah, Owen, I see TomKat!”
Owen: “You have TomKat Kyle?”
Kyle: “Yeah, Owen, I have TomKat.”
Owen: “You see my TomKat?”
Kyle (now with his fingers fiddling around with his eyes/eyeballs too): “Yeah, Owen, see my TomKat?!”
Owen: “Yeah, Kyle I see your TomKat. You like TomKat?”
Kyle: “Yeah, I like TomKat!”
Owen: “I like TomKat too!”
Kyle: “Yay TomKat!”
I was dumbfounded. Given the country’s recent fascination and craze (o.k., I admit it: my recent fascination and craze too) over The TomKat (i.e. Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes: “TomKat” — click here if you have been living in a bubble for the past year and don’t know what I’m talking about)… the first thought I had was, “My god! Am I that pathetic of an in-the-closet-People-Magazine-reading-“TomKat”-junkie that my two year olds have somehow picked up on this TomKat craze thing?????!!!!!!! My god! How do they know about TOMKAT?!!!” I wracked my brain to try to remember ever even mentioning TomKat in front of my toddlers. Meanwhile, they continue on with their TomKat conversation in the backseat.
Then it occurred to me, “Wait a minute! Why are they fiddling with their eyes like that?! What does that have to do with Tom and Katie?” And suddenly I was able to translate their TwinSpeak to english (something I’m not very often successful at doing) —- I loudly said, “Hey, boys!” to try to interrupt their boistrous TomKat conversation:
Me: “Are you talking about contacts?! Are you pretending you have contacts in your eyes!?”
Owen: “Yeah Mama! TomKats!”
Me: “It is contacts — you say it, c-o-n-t-a-c-t-s.”
Owen: “T-o-m-K-a-t-s.”
Kyle: “You have TomKats Owen?!”
Owen, “Yeah, Kyle, I have TomKats!”
Kyle: “Owen, you see my TomKat?”
Owen: “Yeah, Kyle, I see your TomKat. You like TomKat?”
Kyle: “Yeah, I like TomKat!”
Owen: “I like TomKat too!”…
… and so it goes…
Just another day as ThirdWheel-Mama to my TwinSpeak-Twins.
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