The top photo is Owen with our cat Cooper. The bottom photo is Kyle with Braydon. So funny to see these photos now because the babies in the pictures are just little versions of the 3 year olds they are today. Owen still looks at Cooper with that exact same enamored-wild-loving-thrilled look on his face (and Cooper still looks at Owen just as bewildered today as he did then). And Kyle still sits at the piano with that same look of focused-contented-joyful-concentration (and Braydon still finds it irresistibly adorable when his little boy plays piano). I hate it that we are cameraless right now, but I am actually really enjoying the stroll down memory lane that the digging into the photo archives has forced. I wish I had been able to blog back then– honestly, there was absolutely no way we could have (we were
sooooo out straight and hanging on by a thread when the boys were that young; it was
sooo exhausting)– but I wish I could have written down so many of the details like I do now. It gives me solace to know that the memories are at least blogged about now. Somehow it feels comforting to know that time isn’t just passing us by, but that somehow –instead– we are able to capture at least some (a tiny fraction, sure, but at least it is some) of the moments here and there.
In July we bought a Ford Explorer. Used, but in great condition, not a scratch on it. The boys love it – it’s the “Big Red Truck” for them. They love for me to drive on the grass, to go through big puddles, they love to start it (yes, I give them the keys and let them start it – I know it’s nuts). I love the truck, I have always loved trucks, that’s just the way it is.
K & O also love golf. They love their golf clubs. They love to hit the ball. They love their 5 woods (which is one with a large metal head). They also love to pretend their golf clubs are other things sometimes – a broom, a snow plow, a baseball bat – I am sure there are many others. They sometimes love to slam them on the ground.
The other day, K & O were pretending the golf clubs were the brushes they use at car washes. They decided to wash they truck with these brushes; these brushes that really happen to be golf clubs. They did this on the doors and the rear quarter panels. They did this up and down and side to side. Over and over.
I haven’t taken a picture because I am still trying to not be angry. They did it to be nice – to wash the Big Red Truck. It just happens that golf clubs used as brushes create really big scratches in car paint.
This morning we went to Bounce U with Joy Lin and her Mom and Dad. It was heaven for Kyle and Owen to be at Bounce U playing with Joy Lin. And Braydon and I had such a good time chatting with Chris and Lisa. One thing that is so great about getting together with another high-energy-and-full-of-life-kid-family is that you don’t have to feel self-conscious about how high-energy-and-full-of-life your kid(s) is/are! You all just sort of understand each other in some way that feels really comfortable and special. It’s really nice. Anyway, at one point Owen and Kyle lost track of each other (a rare thing). Owen ran up to Lisa and I and said to me, “Mommy, where is my twin???” I pointed to where Kyle and Joy Lin were, and Owen ran off to play with them. But this wording– “my twin”– was so striking to me. He didn’t say, “Where is Kyle?” or “Where is my Ky Ky?” or “Where is my brother?” (all of which I’ve heard many times before), instead he said, “my twin.” Of course being twins is a huge part of K & O’s identities, they know that they are twins, they understand what twins are, etc… but I’ve never heard either of them use “my twin” to refer to the other. This was a first. And Owen said it so unconsciously, so unreflectively. “Where is my twin???”… somehow it just seemed so… I don’t know… just so striking to hear Owen say that. I just can’t even imagine what it would be like to be twins. I was thinking about it again when we were out to lunch. Eating our tacos and burritos and quesadillas the boys were fooling around with each other in their characteristic way. Braydon and I were just watching them carry on (as were most people in the restaurant), getting the biggest kick out of them. But we couldn’t help but talk about what we talk about often when watching them interact— there is something so unique about the way they are –as twins– together. And then tonight at home I was thinking about it again as I watched them sit together watching their Curious George video. They were sitting right next to each other so that their entire sides of their bodies were touching. They always sit this way when watching a video. I watched as Kyle put his arm up and rested his elbow on Owen’s shoulder, Kyle’s hand touching the side of Owen’s face. They sat that way for a long stretch, and I watched as Owen rubbed his cheek along Kyle’s hand a couple of times — neither of them the least bit bothered by the proximity, neither of them taking their eyes off of the t.v. Their twinship— it is just not like any other relationship. I can’t put words to it to describe it. But I have to say, that to be able to witness it so intimately, as Braydon and I get to do daily, makes for such a fascinating life. And it is such a wonder-filled blessing for us to be able to parent our twins.
Owen: Mommy, I played with Stella today at school. She is my friend.
Heather: Yes, she is your good friend.
Owen: Yes, and she is Kyle’s friend too. Right Kyle?
Kyle: That’s right. She is my friend. Mommy, can Stella come to my Birthday Party?
H: Yes, she can.
K: I told Stella she can come to my birthday party.
H: Oh, good!
O: And we went to Stella’s Ballerina Dancing birthday party yesterday. We did that, right Mommy?
H: Yes, that’s right.
K: When we did that I felt very anxious Mommy. I felt nervous when it was Stella’s birthday party.
H: Oh? You did Kyle?
K: Yes, I felt anxious and nervous.
H: Oh. Why?
K: Because I wanted it to be my birthday party. So that’s why I felt anxious. That’s why.
H: Oh, did you feel jealous?
K: Yes! Jealous! I felt so jealous! Because I want it to be my birthday.
O: Mommy, why is it not our birthday? Why? Why?
H: It will be your birthday soon. In a few weeks.
O: It will be twenty weeks!!!?! Why not one week? Why twenty weeks?
H: It isn’t twenty weeks, just a few.
K: That’s why I was so jealous. That’s why! Because it can never be our birthday. Never ever. It is too far away.
O: That’s why we’re so mad at Stella, right Kyle?
K: That’s right Owen!
* * *
Kyle: Mommy, today, at school, somebody said hurtful words to me.
Heather: Oh?!
K: Yes! They said hurtful words. And then I said, ‘WHATEVER,’ and then I walked away. I just walked right away. She said, ‘I don’t want to play with you.’ And I said, ‘WHATEVER,’ and then I walked away from her!
H: Oh, that was a good thing to do.
K: Yes! And then I said hurtful words to her too! I said it very loud! I said, ‘I don’t want to play with you too’!!!
* * *
Owen: Mommy, I will stomp up the stairs and go to my room and slam the door!
Heather: Why?
O: Because I’m getting so anxious!
H: Oh?! Why are you so anxious?
O: I’m so anxious because my Baby Sister.
H: Oh?
O: I’m so anxious because my Baby Sister is not coming out yet!
H: Oh! Right, she’s not coming out yet. So that makes you feel anxious?
O: Yes! And that’s why I’m going to stomp up the stairs and slam my door! Because I’m so mad! I’m so mad and I’m so anxious because my Baby Sister is not coming out yet!
Hi All, O.k., so over the past few months many people have asked us if we’re having a Baby Shower and/or where we’re registered. Being the oh-so-traditional girl that I am (not! …but…hey… some traditions do have legitimacy to them), I’ve answered those questions by saying that we’re not having a Shower and we don’t have a Registry. My logic was that we had FOUR (4!) amazing Baby Showers when we were waiting for Kyle and Owen and tradition is to not have showers for 2nd babies, 3rd babies, etc. When I’d say this most people would respond the same way: “But this is different!!! You’ve never been pregnant before!!!” Well, it is true, this is different, and I haven’t been pregnant before (for those of you who don’t know– we never even tried to get pregnant before, we just went straight for adoption with K & O), and, like many people have pointed out, we’ve definitely never had a newborn baby before!!! (eeeks!), but still, I was feeling a bit funny about the idea of a Baby Shower for Baby Sister… until I talked it over with our dear friend Corey. Being an adoptive and bio mom herself, she was somehow able to put me at ease about it all. She also insisted that she was going to throw a Shower for us! And then she put us to task to set up a Baby Registry (so Braydon and I registered at Babies R Us for all the newborn/infant things that we need). Corey’s non-traditional Baby Shower idea is beautifully perfect for us and makes us feel truly showered with love. She really wants to get the blogosphere involved — so, folks, here’s a Guest Blogger post from our wonderful friend Corey!
Dear Readers,
A few years ago, I was hanging around an online group for parents involved in Haitian adoption when I heard a woman mention that she lived in our town. We had just brought our first Haitian child home, and we didn’t know anyone (in real life) that had adopted from Haiti. We made email contact right away, and quickly invited Heather and Braydon to visit us. I don’t remember much about that first visit except thinking that Haiti was going to rock their world (as it does nearly everyone’s) and that I hoped they knew what they were doing, adopting twin boys as their first children.
I never anticipated that my family would come to love theirs so thoroughly. When your family looks different than nearly everyone else’s, there is deep comfort in being with other families that “match,” that have similar composition, experiences and interests. As adults, we have spent hours talking about poverty, malnutrition, post-traumatic stress, birthparents, racism, orphanages, etc, etc, etc. We get together almost monthly, often planning months in advance because those “dates” are a priority for us all. Our children are the best of friends. Our kids look forward to playing with Kyle and Owen so much that we usually don’t tell them they’ll see the boys until we’re driving to their house. Otherwise we hear “when are we going to Kyle & Owen’s house” about 7 million times per day.
I love Heather and Braydon for a million reasons. For their generosity. Their love of others. Their intellect. Their collective sense of humor. For caring about social issues. For their love of their children. For always having time for their friends. For their devotion to their work, and for the crazy juggling act they do every day to balance work and family. For good recipes and good beer. For introducing my kids to step dancers. For cleaning my kitchen when it was the kindest thing anyone could do for me. On and on and on. They are good people.
And now they’re growing their family, this time through pregnancy, and no one could be happier for them than we are. This child, this precious baby girl, is so blessed to be coming in to this family, and such a blessing to everyone around her, as well. I can’t wait to see her. I can’t wait to watch her grow. I can’t wait to know the person she will be.
This is getting long, but I want to acknowledge that I know that as much as my family loves the Johnson-McCormick family, that we are only one of MANY that feel this way about them. And so, because we know that other people will want to shower them with love and affection in celebration of Baby Girl’s arrival, I want to invite you to a Virtual Baby Shower in their honor. Please join us at
http://babyshower4hbj.blogspot.com/
With love,
Corey
This afternoon we were driving in the car to the hospital for a pre-operative appointment for Owen’s umbilical hernia surgery (it is scheduled for March 19). We had been to the pediatric surgeon last week, and somehow in the past few days all fear and anxiety over the upcoming operation has seemed to have evaporated. The boys were in great moods this afternoon (totally unfazed by the idea of surgery/hospital/pre-op-appointment/etc) and they were having a great time in the car fooling around and basically doing their normal stuff— acting crazy and wild and out-of-control. It was starting to get to be a little too much. From the front driver’s seat Braydon said to them “Guys you’re getting too revved up. It is time to slow down and quiet down.” They basically ignored this and kept on with their antics, including shouting/yelling/screaming whenever they’d see a car type they recognized on the highway (which is often since they recognize many makes and models). He said it again, this time more sternly and more loudly, “Guys, you’re getting too revved up. It is time to slow down and quiet down.” They both, in unison, started shouting, at the tops of their lungs, “An HHR!!!! An HHR!!!!! An HHR!!!!” I swung around from the passenger seat and yelled at the two of them, “Papi said to quiet down!!!!” Only about one notch quieter (i.e., still waaaay tooooo loud) they started in with screams of, “But it was an HHR! You missed it! An HHR! An HHR!” I swung back around: “THAT IS ENOUGH! NO YELLING!” This stopped them cold. More calmly I said, “Guys, you don’t have to yell! We can hear you when you use your regular voice!” Owen, without batting an eye, came right back, “But I’m not good at that!”
It has been a month since Owen gave up his pacis. He threw them in the trash and never looked back. When the boy’s ready, the boy’s ready. This afternoon K & O were ‘taking a shower’ (i.e., mostly playing with water and soap) together in the shower in me and Braydon’s bathroom. I was sitting in the bathroom reading while they played on and on for a loooong time. They were having a ball and very conversational in there. At one point I overheard this, from Owen, out of the blue, totally unrelated to anything they had been doing/talking about:
“Kyle, yesterday I put my pacis in the trash. Right in the trash because I didn’t need them anymore. And someone needs to take one out for Baby Sister. A tiny one. A paci for Baby Sister. O.k. Kyle?”
Kyle said, “Uh huh.”
And that was that.
(Photo taken with my cell phone camera, by Braydon, today.)
For the first, from about a month ago,
click here.
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