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Feb 13
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Finally Some Snow

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It finally snowed a bit today. Only a couple of inches, but still — for the boys at least — better than nothing! They are very excited about the possibility that daycare might be closed tomorrow… Braydon and I are very nervous about the possibility that daycare might be closed tomorrow! ;0

Feb 11
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Marching Band Obsessed Boy!

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This past fall we went to a Lehigh game with some friends – and the highlight far and away for K&O was the marching band. Since then the boys have spent many a day marching around the house as a “Marching Band”, banging on any number of things.

But we have apparently taken it to a new level. On Super Bowl Sunday we were over at our next door neighbor’s house with Mor Far watching the game, but K&O (and mostly K) were mostly interested in the marching band. Of course, there wasn’t a real marching band at the Super Bowl – just the crazy thing that Prince had backing him up. But they were into it none-the-less.

Heather and I talked a bit about it and I added “Drumline” to our NetFlix Queue. It arrived yesterday and we watched it for the first time. Well, more specifically we watched parts of it, since it’s actually rated PG-13. We actually only watched the Marching Band parts – which was all the boys really wanted to see anyway. Drumline is actually a pretty decent movie. And we like it since the main character is black and the focus is around black marching bands. Always a good thing for us.

Kyle was completely absorbed by it. He couldn’t even blink as he watched. Every once and a while his little body would jerk in response to the music, but he was basically 100% immersed. Owen was very interested and into it, but Kyle’s level of engagement bordered on odd. If Kyle were my biological child, people would just chalk it up to that. For that matter, people might do that anyway (just not my genes). It’s really quite something.

So we all went to bed. For most of the night. For some of the night. Actually we were all up throughout the night last night – Kyle for about 3 hours (with Heather – God bless her). In hindsight maybe the marching band was to blame, I am not sure.

When Kyle woke up this morning, the first thing out of his mouth was: “Marching Band Video”. Sure – why not. So we went down stairs and watched all the marching band parts of Drumline. Again, he was unbelievably into it. We noticed that he particularly liked the Conductor parts – and the parts with the WHOLE Marching Band (not the drum solos). Meaning his body moved from it’s coma-like Marching Band induced state to move to the music a bit.

Heather wonders if he is a bit self-conscious about his level of engagement – he is so into it – but embarrassed to let it show (like dance around like a crazy man – which he does to Dora the Explorer).

So, after Drumline, we had a late breakfast. And immediately after that (around 10 am), Kyle announced he needed to go to bed, he was sleepy, tired and sick (he’s not sick). Heather took him up and put him down, but he wouldn’t go to sleep. He just lay there for about an hour. Heather figures he was just so exhausted from his Highly Stimulating Marching Band Experience that he just had to crash. I totally agree.

Owen went upstairs and got him up – and Kyle was as chipper and happy as could be – it was something. We then went and did some errands (and went to lunch at the Macaroni Grill – a new family favorite.

When we got home around 4:30, after playing outside in the 27 degree weather for about 30 minutes, we went inside and Kyle announced he wanted to watch “Marching Band Video”. So we did. All the marching band parts of Drumline. And this time we broke out all our various band-like instruments – notably the drums. And we all played to the movie – and loud. This time Kyle was sooo into playing. He had the cymbals (little finger ones my sister gave them) and was going bananas hitting them to the music. Owen was going crazy hitting the drum that he had hanging around his shoulders. And Heather and wailed away on other drums. Quite a sight.

So now I am doing research on Marching Band videos to feed my child’s new obsession. I mean obsession in the best possible way – because of course I love it. Heather cringes when I say this, but I would be happy to have Kyle be a band geek.

Feb 11
0

Snippets from the Weekend

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Saturday morning Owen woke up and the first thing he wanted to do was “Call MorFar.” So we did. Owen talked to my parents for a few minutes and then I got on the phone with my Mom. We were in Braydon and I’s bedroom, and I knew that Owen was in our bathroom, and I figured he was up to no good, but I decided I’d just cut my losses so that I could talk to my mom for just a few minutes. I was literally only on the phone with her for three minutes max before I went in to the bathroom to assess the damages. This photo shows what I found. He had pumped out a lot of moisturizing cream and had smeared it all over his face. He also had a mouthfull of cream, realized it tasted very gross, and was trying to wipe the cream out of his mouth with his cream-covered hands. Not sure if you can tell by the photo or not… he also had baby powder sprinkled all over him, our bath water was running, and his pajamas and his Lovey Lion were soaking wet in several places. Now that’s what we call a great start to the weekend! ;0 Braydon and I were just laughing and shaking our heads as we took this photo and then tried to clean up our boy and our bathroom before starting our day.

Saturday morning tradition at our house is that K, O, and H make smoothies together. We make yogurt smoothies and/or soy-tofu smoothies, loaded with fruit. Lately the boys insist that blueberries and honey must go in — all other ingredients are give-or-take. They like to “test” the end product with spoons straight out of the blender, before pouring into our cups.

Saturday was napless. We had Little Gym and then we met our friends the Kulps for a lunch date at McDonalds. For two hours straight the boys and Joy Lin went nutso in the indoor playground thingy at McD’s. K & O were completely spent by 5:00 (when this photo was taken) and Braydon was desperately trying to keep them from totally melting down by singing songs to them. Soon after this photo we fed the boys an early supper. Mid-way through his meal, Kyle turned to me and said, “I’m done. I’ve had enough. Mommy, your baby is so sleepy!”

Saturday night after the boys were in bed we finally got to have the Rum Punches we’ve been meaning to have since January 31. Rum Punch is our sentimental Adoption Day celebratory drink — and we had bought the ingredients to have them, but given all the sickness, ETC., Saturday was our first chance.

This afternoon, out for a walk in our neighborhood, Braydon pulling the boys in the wagon.

Feb 09
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Friday Night

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Used to be that Braydon and I would end our week by working late (shutting off our computers around 6:00 or 7:00), showering, and heading out for a late dinner out. We’d have a couple drinks, de-brief about our week, and unwind. Although it has been a whole two years since life “Post K & O,” I still can’t quite believe just how much our life has changed. A typical Friday night for us now is one like tonight. It includes things like this:
  • An early as possible pick up from daycare — Today’s pick-up time: 4:30
  • A frazzled end-of-the-week family of four with only the tiniest bit of patience left for anything trying to pick up just a few things to get us through the weekend at the grocery store
  • Twin boys with bright yellow grocery store “PAID” stickers on their foreheads being so silly in the grocery cart that even perfect strangers are laughing out loud in the isles
  • Soup (de-frosted from the freezer), salad crusty bread & good cheese (from the grocery store)
  • Red wine for H & B, Juicy Juice for K & O
  • Lots of playing on the floor (all 4 of us), lots of fussing (all 4 of us), mixed with a couple meltdowns and/or tantrums (all 4 of us)
  • A Dora the Explorer or Go Diego Go video — Tonight’s selection, K & O’s new favorite: Go Diego Go – Booboos on the Pygmy Marmosets
  • Bedtime books — Tonight’s selections, 3 of K & O’s old favorites: A Mother for Choco, How Does a Dinosaur Say Goodnight?, and Hush Little Baby
  • Mega-tantrum from Owen at bedtime… he’s just gotta get that one last protest in before he closes out his week

As much as I do sometimes crave one of those “Pre K & O” Friday nights, at the end of the day (and even at the end of the week), I still wouldn’t change a thing about our current situation. Not a thing.

Feb 08
0

Pretty fields and donkey foot

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For a couple Haiti-born fellows, K&O are really getting a handle on rural Americana – even if they are not quite sure what the right words are.

Each morning that I drive them to daycare I go “Papi’s way” (as opposed to bearing left and going “Mommy’s way”) which takes us up over a little mountain. It also passes corn fields and horse pastures (so does Mommy’s way…).

Almost always the boys point out the various land marks as we pass them: “Papi – look – pretty fields!” “Papi – look – corn!” (well, not at the moment, but this summer they did that). “Papi – look – donkey foot down there!”

What is “donkey foot” you ask? Well, no matter how often we say “look at those horses!” the boys insist they are “donkey foots”. Horses = donkey foot go figure.

Last week on the way back from daycare we stopped to watch a woman riding a donkey foot. Now that was a treat!

Feb 07
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Post-Script to the Panera Post

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It is always interesting to me which of our posts seem to stick with people the most. Since Saturday I have received four separate emails from four different people regarding the story from lunch at Panera (click here to read that post). One thing that is interesting to me about that is that scenarios similar to the one I described in that post happen to our family constantly. For people in families who “blend in” better, it might be hard to get a sense of our vantage point. I understand that. And I have come to also understand that this blog is interesting to waaaaay more people — for waaaaaaay more reasons than I ever anticipated — and it isn’t solely the ‘let-us-keep-our-friends-and-family-up-to-date-with-the-goings-on-of-our-kids-kind-of-blog’ that we originally conceived it as. In fact, I have felt (and still do feel) quite conflicted about putting our lives “out there” like we do on this blog… but it is the reactions to posts like the one re: Panera that remind me that the risks involved in doing this blog are worth it. I feel like it is worth it because our blog seems to raise a little consciousness in people — intentionally or not. And to me, that consciousness is the key to changing the world. I’m not saying that I or my family are changing the world (believe me, I don’t have that much audacity) — I am just saying that I believe that consciousness can change the world. And without exposure, there is no consciousness. So, exposure — as risky as it is — is something we’re willing to do (at least for now).

Whoa. I didn’t mean to get that philosophical about this. I mean, it is after all just our family blog. A blog that just a relatively tiny number of people read. A blog about our tiny little foursome’s pathetic lives. O.k., don’t worry people, I’m back with my feet on the ground again. So, here goes…

The Panera we were in on Saturday is definitely predominantly white (at least at lunchtime on that particular day it was), but it is located in a fairly racially & socio-economically diverse area (it is by no means a very mixed area, but it is by no means an entirely homogeneous area either — we do, afterall, live within 1.5 hours of two of the largest urban centers in the entire United States). However, I think the thing that stands out about our family is not necessarily that we’re four visibly racially different people… but that we’re two white (very fair skinned) parents with two black (very dark skinned) children. Even when we’re in the *MOST* diverse places (when we’re hanging out, for example, in central Manhattan, Greenwich Village, SoHo, Inner Harbor Baltimore, downtown Philly, ETC.) we *still* stick out like a sore thumb. We seriously almost NEVER encounter families like ours. Black families, yes. White families, yes. Bi-racial families, yes. Adoptive families, yes (Chinese, Korean, Guatemalan mostly). But white parents of black children, no— almost never. I have come to understand that no matter how much we seek out “diversity” (and believe me, we do! we work hard at deliberately putting our family into “diverse” settings), our particular family is still virtually never represented.

Regarding what happened on Saturday — From what I interpreted, it isn’t that the kid in the Panera was noticing two “brown kids” (he’s surely seen lots of non-white — including dark skinned black– kids around these parts), but what he was so struck by was our clearly adoptive inter-racial — specifically, black-white, family. He articulated it very clearly: “Look! There are two brown kids! With two white people!” This is striking to people even in the most incredibly diverse contexts. What was noteworthy to me was not that the boy noticed us (who wouldn’t?) or explicitly pointed us out to the people he was with (remember, this kind of thing happens to us all the time)… What was so profound to me about it was that the mothers didn’t use it as a wonderful opportune moment to talk about how many different kinds of interesting families exist– and that they did not allow the young boy to be struck by seeing us and did not allow him (let alone encourage him) to be curious and open and embracing about it. Instead, in that moment in the Panera, the white women silenced a young white male who might have otherwise had an opportunity for a pretty awesome “first” experience with a family like ours. So, that, to me is the profound part (and yes, I’ll admit it, the very sad part too).

In our neighborhood we have five multi-racial families (four of which are adoptive families) out of the 12 houses on our immediate street. As a sociologist I can tell you that those are some pretty good stats re: “diversity” and adoption… but still — the black-white thing– I honestly believe that it is (for lack of a better way of putting it…) the final frontier.
Feb 06
0

Who is that???

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The next evolution in Owen’s linguistic development is beginning to emerge. Previously he regularly called out for “Mapi” (Mama+Papi) for something. It might go like this:

“Mapi, did you see that that?”

“Mapi, I want warm milk…”

“No, no, I want Mapi.”

Who steps up when he calls out “Mapi!” ? We both do of course.

Recently he’s added a new one: “Pami” [pronounced ‘pahmee’] = Papi+Mommy. Tonight at dinner we heard:

1. “I can’t have that hot dog Pami“

2. “Pami, I want pudding.”

3. “Did you see that, that Pami???

1 could have been for me or Heather – I sat next to Owen, but Heather makes dinner
2 could have been for me or Heather – same as reason one
3 could have been for me or Heather – just depends on the toddler antics of the moment

But ultimately, like Mapi – it makes me proud that our boy sees the care he gets from both of us as so equal that he mashes up the language into one call out.

That, or he’s just super super clever on how to get the maximum reaction for the minimum spoken word.