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Well, it is 9:15 pm and the boys are fast asleep in their new big boy beds in their new separate rooms — VERY, very, VERY, VERY, very, very happily… Now, let’s just remember, they are two year olds. Things could quickly change. Moods can quickly swing. We’ll have to see what unfolds over the next few days… but… Just based on today— As is usually the case, these boys have once again astounded us. Astounded us with their incredible zest for life. Astounded us with their truly remarkable well-adjustedness. Astounded us with their unmistakable (and, from what I can tell, definitely UNUSUAL) sense of gratitude for things that in most circumstances 2-year-olds are generally not consciously and expressively grateful for. I guess I should have guessed it – or somehow forseen it – but of course, being the high-strung anxious person I am, I didn’t. I get so worried about things – about adjustments and transitions and leaps in life. My boys are the opposite: they each take these sorts of moments in life and enthusiastically attack them with the most eager and engaging and spirited energy and gratitude. Here I was all nervous about how they’d react to separate rooms and separate beds. Upon arriving home from daycare and seeing the movin’ and shakin’ that had taken place with their rooms and beds — it took all of about .001 second for them both to grab the bull by the horns and start running back-and-forth between their two “new rooms” and climbing up and down from the “new beds” exclaiming things like,
“LOOK AT THIS!!!”
“Let’s go see Owen’s Room!”
“Now let’s go see Kyle’s new big blue bed!!”
“Whoa! Look at MY room!”
“WOW! It’s my new bed!”
They hugged Braydon and I, and kissed us, and at one point both thanked us for the “new rooms” and “new beds” (what 2 year old does THAT?!)… If you have any doubt at this point that they love the new scenario, I’ll leave you with this to convince you: At one point Kyle broke out singing the Halleluiah Chorus! (Seriously. I’m not kidding. Not kidding at all.)

Well, it has been a long time coming. For about six months now we’ve been seriously considering giving the boys separate rooms. Here are some of our reasons why:

• Since they were about 18 months old (at which point they started to become very verbal), Kyle and Owen have not been able to fall asleep in the same room together. For them, “Lights Out” translates to “Let’s Get the Party Started!” Imagine: every nap and bedtime is like a slumber party with your best friend. They go *crazy* with inside jokes and antics and bouncing/jumping/laughing/throwing their loveys back-and-forth to each other/etc.
• Because of the above, and after trying EVERYTHING we could creatively imagine (and reading every book on the subjects of sleep, twins, and the combo of the two; after talking to every parent of twins I know; and even consulting with a toddler sleep expert) we ended up with our last resort: putting them to sleep in separate rooms. We started putting Owen in the guest room bed and keeping Kyle in his own bed. Once they were both asleep we’d move Owen back to his own bed so they could sleep the night in their room together and wake up together. We thought it would just take a few nights and then they’d realize that bedtime meant sleep time. Nope. We’ve been at this for over six months now (moving Owen every night).
• Completely unrelated to the above… we feel in our gut that K & O should have their own rooms. We are fortunate to have the space for it. We feel they will benefit from it – it will give them each something of their own, a place to be by themselves, and, in kind of the true sense of the phrase: a room of one’s own. As twins, they are together constantly. We just feel in our gut that having their own spaces will be a good thing for our little guys.
• We also think it is time for the boys to have real beds. They were in cribs until they turned two, then we took the crib rails off so their cribs became “toddler beds…” but now — at age 2.5, they are so enormous that they barely fit in their little beds. We think big beds, where they can stretch out more, might be more comfortable for them.

So, about a week ago we finally came to the decision to do it. Over the course of the past week we have — somehow — someway — been able to find the time to do what it takes: the shopping for some necessities, planning the big move, and… today… the actual MOVE itself. The old guest room is now Owen’s room. The boys’ old room is now Kyle’s room.

This move really shakes things up around here. This is a big deal.
I’m about to go pick up the boys from daycare and I’m very anxious to see how the they will react to the new set up. Very anxious. I tried to explain to them what was going to happen, but God only knows how much of it they actually understood. Most people tell me that they think twins should share a room until they are much older than 2.5 (again, another topic on which everyone and their brother tells me what they think) I’m sure there must be other families out there, but I don’t personally know anyone who moved their twins to separate rooms this young. But we really just felt strongly that this was the right decision for us. At the same time, I’ve had a lump in my throat and been on the verge of tears since last night when we moved Owen to his toddler bed for the last time. Braydon and I stood there arm-in-arm in the darkness of our bambinos’ room just watching our babies sleep in their cozy little toddler beds. These are the beds they slept in their first night home. This is the room where they shared their baby-hood. I hate to see them grow so fast. I wish I could freeze time. I hate to see their cribs in the basement today. It is just killing me to have to put away their darling little cribsheets. This is partly what being a parent is all about, I suppose. But can’t we just freeze time and keep them just as they are — if even for just a little while? I wonder how many parents throughout history have asked themselves these very questions.

Kyle & Owen, last night —

Finally it’s Friday after a long week. In the academic calendar there is an inverse relationship to the amount energy people have with the level of intensity of things over time. In otherwords, here in our house, as we near the end of the semester, everyone is tired and hanging in there, but it’s nuts.

For Heather it’s really tough and exhausting; for the supporters in her life, it’s just tough. But I want to say this: Despite the daily grind, I find comfort in my kids and my wife. That comfort is remebering to be human, a good person and be connected. Many days, when the stress is so high and things are moving too fast, it’s hard to see that, but I get that comfort none-the-less. I am so privledged to have it. Regardless of how flat out we are, K&O and Heather don’t accept anything less than full engagement, and I so deeply appreciate that.

My goal is to go to bed every night feeling close to and bonded with mt family. So far so good. Not 100%, but we’re a happy family, so I think it’s ok.

It has been pouring rain for about 24 hours straight. Everything is flooded and soaked. The boys were cooped up inside at daycare all day long. Lots of craft projects, but not much rambunctious physical play. Not the ideal day for my boys. At daycare pick-up, still inside the toddler room, I whispered to them: “Let’s go home fast so we can put on your boots and go PUDDLE JUMPING!!!” Now, this is more like it – the ideal rainy day activity for my boys! I know, I know, it is November and pitch dark outside and only about 50 degrees out, and most mothers of two-year-olds would never go for this. But just for the record– we did put on their new winter snow pants, lots of fleece, and the rubber boots. The puddles were deep, it was just the four of us out there in the dark rainy night, and it was really really fun. Yes, they got super wet and dirty. But a hot bubble bath and soup for supper and a load of wash later… all is well in the world of our little family’s home. Oh, and also- I wanted to note: my sweet little bambinos turned 2.5 today.

(Click on photos to see a larger view)

We went to Black Rock, Connecticut this weekend to visit Beth, one of our bestest friends in the whole wide world. I’ve been friends with Beth since we were campers together one summer at camp when we were about 13 years old. For the most recent 11 years she’s been a dear friend of Braydon’s too. We’ve seen each other through lots of life. To sit with a glass of wine and talk about life with Beth has got to be one of my favorite things in the world to do. That was true when we were all struggling 23-year-olds in Boston, and it is just as true now that she’s a pastor and I’m a professor and Braydon’s a big-wig corporate IT management guy. Old friends are the best friends. It is so true.

And now that K & O are in the picture it is a whole new phase of life. The boys love Beth. She is like an aunt to them. And they let her know it… by smothering her with smiles and hugs and kisses, and by throwing terrible twos fits right in front of her. You know — aunts are not like friends… they get the privilege and the honor of seeing the best of the good and the worst of the bad! Anyway, as far as road-tripping with twin two-year old boys go — the weekend was about as fantastic and perfect as possibly imaginable!

Beth spoiled us all. She took us on a walking tour of her charming neighborhood. She showed us her church. She fed us so many treats (she exposed the boys to Wispride spreadable cheese on crackers — which is now their new favorite hors’ doerves!). She lit a fire in her gorgeous fireplace. She gave the boys their new favorite possessions: cute cute cute stuffed-animal-fish. And she even played a Laurie Berkner Band CD for us!!! Wowsers, could it get any better? We might be making regular trips to Connecticut from now on… Scary thought for Beth, I’m sure!!!!! 😉

The best part was we got to be at the ocean. On a sunny day, the New England coast in early November has got to be about as close to heaven as one can get.

Kyle with “Sister Kate” (so funny – this is what K & O call Kate, because she’s Jessica’s sister… it makes it sound like she’s a nun or something!! we get a big kick out of this!)

Owen & Kyle love baby Samantha… especially her bald head and her little ears!

K & O with the Kenty-Dranes

After such a busy whirlwind travel weekend, the boys were exhausted and waaaaay ready for bed at 7:00 tonight. They both fell asleep with their arms wrapped around their new cuddly fish, which they reminded us several times were “from BETH!” Our life is crazy, but it is crazy-good.

I just read Braydon’s post from this morning. It is true that this morning when the boys woke up we immediately realized that Kyle had gone all night with no diaper, and that it had been Braydon who got him ready for bed last night, and that our poor boy was soaked and chilled to the bone as the result of Braydon’s wrong-doing. But I just have to say: in defense of my husband — who is the best, and most intimately-involved-with-daily-hands-on-childcare, father I know — that this is not an example of “Parent Failure,” it is clearly an example of Parent Exhaustion (otherwise known as Working-Father-of-Twin-Two-Year-Olds-DELIRIUM).

A guy I know was saying how hard it is now that he has two kids in diapers at the same time – a really little one and bigger one.

We can commiserate, but our diaper management procedure goes something more like this: “Papi – it’s a biiiiiiiiiiig green pooooopie!” (delight in his voice) – his brother chimes in: “See it Papi?!?! See it!!!” and proceeds to attempt to climb up the side of the dresser to the top where we have the changing table while the other one starts kicking and from time to time hits the poopie diaper. Repeat for other boy.

Or another favorite – us: “Do you want to put your diaper on, on the floor or on the changing table” (it’s not worth it to fight this one). His response: “On the bed!!!” Repeat for other boy.

Another one of our norms (well, mine anyway, Heather is better about this than I am) is when Owen kicks me during diaper changes. If I am alone, this inevitably leads to Kyle crying since it takes me about 5 times as long to change Owens diaper when he’s kicking and I can’t get him up there to see the big green (or blue, or yellow, or red, or orange) poopie.

Occassionally we have a diaper failure. That typically means that quality control on the diaper went arwy, and diaper has ripped a little and the gel packs inside have come out – leading to a very wet bed and boy. And honey bunny, pillow, blankets etc.

And for the first time, yesterday, I entirely forgot to put a new diaper on Kyle before bed. That one is not diaper failure, that’s parent failure. Poor guy. He was so wet and cold, I feel so bad about it. Heather ran a bath for him and he got warmed up and clean.

Owen had to join him in the bath of course.

The boys this morning, before heading off to daycare.