Today it was finally cool enough outside for Meera to wear her very first pair of shoes for the very first time. K & O were incredibly excited about it. When I went to pick them up at school (school ends each day at 1:00 for them), Meera had the shoes on. It was the first thing each of them said to me: “She’s wearing her shoes! They are such cute shoes!” All afternoon they’ve been talking about it. They’ve brought it up every few minutes. Complimenting Meera: “Meera! Those are such cute shoes! I love your shoes Meera!” And commenting to me: “Mama, those are such cute shoes! Don’t you just think those are such cute shoes??!!” At one point Kyle even went so far as to say, “Mommy, you know why I’m so happy today?! Because my sister has on such cute shoes!” This — “Meera’s such cute shoes” — was, clearly a major highlight of their day. As for Meera, she could not have cared less about it.
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There are lots of older kids at the boys’ school who the boys adore. Kyle’s favorite is one 11 year old boy whose name is David. I’ve posted about David and the older kids before — for example, click here for a post from last spring. Since school started last week K & O have been talking a lot about the “big kids” and specifically asking for time to play with them. I have figured out that the grade school kids all gather on the back playground playing each morning before school starts (the early education kids all are dropped off by their parents directly at their classrooms inside the school). And I’ve been secretly hoping to find a day that we could get K & O to school early so they could play for awhile with the big kids on the back playground. This morning Braydon had to leave early for meetings, so I was on my own for the a.m. routine and school drop-off. It was a beautiful morning — and I managed to get the boys to school 15 minutes early. We had hopes of finding all the kids they adore on the playground, and sure enough — there they were! K & O were in their glory!!! Meera slept happily in her carseat. I can’t imagine a happier start to their day! The kids were having so much fun (even the big kids) that the teacher who chaperone’s outside each morning actually came up to me and suggested that we do this more often. She even offered to personally be responsible for bringing K & O into their classrooms if we ever want to just drop them off early on the back playground. I’m sure the boys will now be begging to do it everyday! I snapped these pictures from a long distance, so they aren’t great, but they do show the feeling of the early morning heaven.
K & O this morning before schoolFor the past two days K & O (mostly initiated by K) have been insisting on wearing their hair in ponytails. My theory is that now that they’re back at school they’re seeing all these cute girls with cutie hair (ponytails, braids, barretts, ribbons, etc.) and they want all that cutie stuff too. And really, why not? Even though no other boys they know wear their hair like this, they seem to still have no clue whatsoever that this would not be within the range of ‘normal’ for boys their age in mainstream society. And I, for one, am not going to be the one to alert them to that— at least not anytime soon. And I’m not going to tell them they shouldn’t or can’t wear their hair this way. At least not now. We don’t go out of our way to encourage this kind of thing, but we don’t discourage it either. And luckily (luckily luckily luckily) K & O go to a school where everyone there seems to genuinely accept and embrace their ponytails as if this were within the range of ‘normal.’ People don’t make a huge commotion of it in a positive or a negative way. That’s one of the things I love about their school– as long as you’re kind and careful (truly full of care) then you’re loved and embraced no matter who you are and nobody is really ever singled out for any reason one way or another. I don’t know what K & O will think of these photos when they’re 18 years old, 6 feet tall, 250 pounds. But that’s not going to stop us from the ponytail up-do’s for the time being. We do, however, draw the line at “sparkle shoes” (they’d do just about anything right now for two pair of sparkly glittery pink shoes with sequins all over them). Actually, I should say, we did draw the line at sparkle shoes (when they first were drooling over them in the shoe store when we went to buy school shoes a couple of weeks ago). I thought they’d forget about them once we got home. But they’re still bringing it up almost daily and I’m starting to maybe be caving into the pressure. I’m not going to make a special trip to the shoe store, but hypothetically if we just happened to come across two pair of cheap sparkle shoes sometime soon… I think it might be really hard for me to not spring for them. Don’t worry… I promise, if it happens, I’ll post a photo.
August 2002, married less than a year
August 2008, married almost 7 years (at the exact spot on the dock where we got engaged)
Braydon — My love for you would overflow the Grand Canyon, Lake Winnipesaukee, and then some. We’ve been together for 15 years as of this fall, married 7 years as of today. They talk about the ‘7 year itch’… all I know is that I’m itchin’ to find out what the next 7 years with you will bring!!! ;0 Bring it on baby! There is never a dull moment, but I wouldn’t have it any other way! xo hbj
Heather and I are celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary today – can you believe it?!?!? It’s been a wonderful time with lots of amazing changes. I am so thankful that Heather agreed to marry me, I am really the luckiest guy and I have an incredible life with her and our family. She is still my beautiful bride and I love her.
What are we doing to celebrate? Well, we went to Los Sarapes on Friday and it was awesome. But, since we have a three month old and twin four year olds, we’re going to have a nice drink together tonight.
Happy 7th anniversary Heather!
9/15/01
Lately Kyle has been quite critical that we have someone cut our grass. And for the record, I do feel a measure of shame for it. But long ago, we did a little cost/benefit analysis on it, and with buying a riding mower big enough and the amount of time it would take me on a weekly basis to tend to the lawn, we opted for some help. Now, to be quite clear, it was really about the time. We look around and see the men of the world mowing and mowing and mowing all Saturday long and we decided that I’d rather spend the time with my family. And frankly, this basically covers anything outside power tool related (to which Don, my father-in-law can attest – thank goodness for him).
Granted, we are fortunate to be in a place to make that decision…most are not. We’re thankful for it everyday. And Dave does an awesome job, so we’re double lucky.
However, at the moment, Kyle is not so thrilled with it.
“Papi, why don’t you mow the lawn Papi? Why Dave mows the lawn Papi? I want you mow the lawn Papi. With ME Papi!”
Ah ha, the truth comes out. When I explain how it will take me all day Saturday, then I have to weed whack, then rake, then fertilize and I would not be able to go to the swimming pool and I would not be able to go out to lunch with him, he gets a little thoughtful.
“That’s ok Papi, I will do it with you!”
So, after additional thought and mulling it over for a few days, Kyle bring this up and dinner tonight:
“Papi, I want 42 boxes from the box truck! I want a box with a lawnmower, a box with a weed whacker, a box with pressure washer, a box with a wagon in it that I can put on the lawn mower and carry you around in. And I want a box with a chainsaw in it too.”
When Heather points out that he will then spend all day Saturday doing yard work, he replies:
“No mommy, we will put it next to Papi’s lawnmower [the little hand push one I have and never use] and we can play with it whenever we want!”
He must be getting it from somewhere else, since he’s definitely not getting it from me….
Today the Petsch crew came over with Meena, the adorable 4-month old baby that they are caring for. Seeing them with Meena was a reminder to me that foster families are truly a gift to us all. I’m proud to have such good friends who are doing this. And seeing Meera and Meena together was beyond cute! It was, officially, Meera’s first playdate. We generally don’t post about K & O’s playdates because we typically don’t take pictures of them (too busy either chatting with the parents or doing damage control with the kids). But today we couldn’t resist the temptation to pull out the camera. Meera and Meena had a ton of fun– especially when Meera shared her playmat. 😉 Kyle, especially, was smitten with Meena. He even got to help feed her a bottle, which was an extra special moment for him. And of course K & O had a ton of fun with Zoe too (despite some serious infractions requiring some serious time outs for both boys). And amidst all the mayhem the four “growned ups” (as Owen has been calling us lately) had a good time— as always.
- The boys LOVE, love, love, love, love, love school. Any school that can do that for my kids is the right school for us. Seriously… we will milk this for all its worth and keep this going for as long as humanly possible. Two extremely active challenging spirited black boys who LOVE school……. well, all I gotta say is that this school is doing something right. Whatever they’re doing, it works for us. So, I try to remember that when I’m feeling deeply conflicted about the fact that they are two of just a handful of black kids in the entire school… and… we’re actually considering the possibility of keeping them there (i.e., sending them to a ‘private’ school) for the long-haul (i.e., beyond age 4. Because the truth is that for us this whole Waldorf School thing really started as an alternative to more traditional daycare/childcare and we didn’t anticipate that we might want to keep them there for grade school… etc., etc., etc.). Bottom line: they LOVE school. Love it!
- Kyle’s prayer last night at bedtime: “Dear God, I really love my mommy and I really love my papi and I really love my school. Dear God I love my school so much God! I love my school! I love my classroom and my teacher and my friends at school. And I love it God! And thank you God so much that I can go to my beautiful River Valley Waldorf School. Amen!”
- Owen’s prayer the night before: “Dear God, I really love my whole family and I can’t wait to go to school tomorrow! Please help me dream of my family tonight and make tomorrow come quickly so I can go to school! Amen!”
- Separate classrooms is going shockingly well. I mean, shockingly well. If I had known it would go this smoothly I definitely would not have wasted so much time thinking and planning and strategizing and thinking and thinking and thinking about it all summer long. Who knew?! Apparently, it is a non-issue for Kyle and Owen. This is not how I expected it to go down. Of course, things could change. But my guess is that this will be how it is– they’re just ridiculously well-adjusted with stuff like this. Ridiculously. I don’t even know what to make of it. They just roll with it.
- Despite the problem that there are very few black kids in the school, K & O each have a handful of other non-white kids in their classes. I don’t know to what extent they notice or care about this right now… but for me it is very important. I’m also very happy that they have kids in their classes from families with same-sex parents. To them this is all just ‘normal’ and I’m very grateful to be able to put them in that kind of environment at such a young impressionable age.
- 1st Day of School — Kyle’s favorite part: “Helping cleaning up my classroom”; Owen’s favorite part: “Ring around the rosie”
- 2nd Day of School — Kyle’s favorite part: “Mixing and grinding the wheat making bread”; Owen’s favorite part: “Hickory dickory dock the mouse ran up the clock”
- 3rd Day of School — Kyle’s favorite part: “Eating the bread we made”; Owen’s favorite part: “Making and eating bread”
- 4th Day of School — Kyle’s favorite part: “Eating oatmeal for snack!”; Owen’s favorite part: “Eating oatmeal for snack!”
- 5th Day of School — Kyle’s favorite part: “Making and eating soup for snack and using a real knife to cut the vegetables!”; Owen’s favorite part: “Eating rice with maple syrup on it!”
- Tuesday there was a huge thunder storm here. I hadn’t told either of the boys’ teachers about their intense fear of thunder. So I called the school and asked to have the message passed along to the two teachers that K & O are sometimes very intensely afraid of thunder. After school both teachers reported to me that it had been no problem for either of them. On the ride home from school this was part of the conversation—
O: Mommy, there was a big rain storm at my school today.
H: Oh! Yes, there was at home too!
O: I asked my teacher if I could go see my brother. Kyle, I asked my teacher if I could to see you my brother because I was worried I was so worried about my brother getting cracked by big thunder.
K: Oh. You were worried Owen?
O: Yes, I was so worried you would get cracked by thunder.
H: Owen, what did your teacher say?
O: She said I could see Kyle in just a minute but then she said no it was too late. And I was worrying about my brother.
K: Then what happened Owen?
O: I cried. And nobody hugged me. Because nobody knew I cried.
K: Owen, it is o.k. Because I didn’t get cracked by thunder Owen! I wasn’t even scared! I didn’t get cracked by thunder Owen! Look at me! I’m fine!!!
O: Oh, yes! I know! So that is why. Now I’m not worried. - Driving home from school this afternoon I announced that the first week of school was done and since it was Friday that means no school tomorrow. Kyle exclaimed, “Oh MAN! I want to go to school everyday! I don’t like ‘S’ days anymore. I like school days.”
TGIF! Happy ‘S’ days everyone!
Kyle and Owen both have loveys (attachment objects). I’ve posted about this before. Kyle has had “Honey Bunny” since the first day we met him and gave it to him. Owen has “Lovey Lion” — which he ‘chose’ as his lovey (i.e., began needing it to fall asleep and did not want to part with) since he was about 10 months old. Owen’s is actually a giraffe, but we don’t care– we’ve always called it Lovey Lion and my guess is that we always will. When they started daycare, at age 12 months, I wanted to have loveys for them in their daycare cribs that we could just leave there (so that we wouldn’t be constantly worrying about getting the loveys back-and-forth). We already had a second bunny (that was originally intended to be Owen’s), so that was no problem for Kyle. But I went crazy trying to find an exact duplicate of Lovey Lion for Owen. But I did, and they eventually came to call their daycare loveys “Honey Bunny’s Twin Brother” and “Lovey Lion’s Twin Brother.” When they stopped going to daycare, just after they turned 3, we brought their daycare loveys home. And since then, they have both slept with both of their loveys every night (and taken them everywhere we’ve travelled to, etc.). So… Kyle has “Honey Bunny and Honey Bunny’s Twin Brother” and Owen has “Lovey Lion and Lovey Lion’s Twin Brother.” It was really important to all of us that Meera had a nice lovey to attach to. When I was pregnant we went to our favorite boutique shop in New Hope and we picked out Meera’s lovey…. a beautiful soft white rabbit blankie thingy. Starting when she was around 2 months old I began placing the rabbit lovey blankie thingy right next to her face in her crib whenever she was going down for a nap or to sleep for the night. Right around when she was 12 weeks old I started to notice her falling in love with it. She would rub her face and hands on it, etc. And she’d smile and coo when she’d see it. I brought it with us when Meera and I went to New Hampshire for Karen’s funeral. The rabbit gave Meera great delight and comfort on that trip. And it was right around then that I knew that Meera was really attaching to it. She now cuddles up to it when she sleeps in her crib. And she smiles and ‘talks’ to it often. And she loves to try to put the arms or ears of it into her mouth and chew on it. So, Meera has her own lovey. Kyle has named it “Fuzzy.” Officially it is “Fuzzy Bunny” but we call it “Fuzzy” or “Fuzz Fuzz” for short. 😉 We’ll see what happens down the road, but just in case this really is it for Meera, I wanted to post these photos of Meera sleeping snuggled up with Fuzz Fuzz in her crib at age 3 months old. 
Well, the results are in. Photo #3 won by a close margin! You can see it on the sidebar of the blog now! I personally liked #4 and #1 the best, but my mom agreed with the readership on #3, so #3 it is. As promised… here are a few of the rejects. It was very hard to narrow this down to just a few since we have about 50 that would be post-worthy rejects. But here are the top six:
Reject 1: ‘This is NOT Fun’
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Reject 2: ‘Fake Smiles (and Meera is slipping)’*
Reject 3: ‘Eyes Closed’
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Reject 4: ‘She’s Crying’
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Reject 5: ‘After a Short Break for her to Re-Gain Her Composure She’s Losing It Again’
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Reject 6: ‘It is One Thing For You to Do This to Us, It is Another Thing For You to Do This to Our Sister’
Owen says goodbye to Meera before heading out forhis 2nd day of school
As the boys were heading off to school this morning they were very concerned about Meera: “You need to take care of her Mama,” “Will you make sure she’s o.k. Mama?” “She’s so sad that we’re going to school Mama!” “Don’t forget to feed her when we’re gone Mama!” And they were talking to Meera: “Meera, it’s o.k., we’ll be back after school Meera,” “Don’t be too jealous Meera, you will go to school when you’re bigger!” “Kindergarten is only for kids Meera, not for babies!” “You don’t need to worry Meera, we will always come back, don’t worry!” It was very cute. Braydon did drop-off and they did great again on Day 2 of separate classrooms. What a relief! And what an amazing feeling when, at 8:45 I found myself in a truly astounding experience: the boys off to school, Meera down for her nap, and me not having to rush frantically to get to work. I sat in the family room pumping breast milk alone in a delirious haze of sheer sweet moment-ness. I actually turned on the Today Show and watched it for a few minutes while just sitting there!–something I haven’t done for probably at least a few years. Yes, there is a to-do list a mile long of stuff I’ve gotta get done (including –amongst all the home stuff– a few work projects that I have on-going)… but… I don’t have to try to frantically frenetically frenziedly juggle work –that huge, huge heavy ball of wax– into the mix. The career is delightfully “on hold.” No meetings to run to, no lectures to prep, no scrambling to get my act together, no work clothes, no hair dryer, no hundreds-of-deadlines-looming over me, no zillions of emails to reply to, no b.s. workplace politics to be worrying about, no heavy obligations hanging over me, no committee work to fret over, no editors breathing down my back, no publishers pushing me, no papers to revise, no files to review, no students’ issues to worry me sick. Seriously, I cannot even say how much I am loving being on maternity leave. And the thought of having the whole fall ahead of me… it is just delirious deliciousness to me right now. Ahhhhhh… to be able to just breathe. I don’t even remember the last time I could… just… breathe…
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