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Apr 28
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Appreciative Kyle

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We’re an appreciative family. We look around and see the world for what it is and are generally thankful for what we have. Not that we don’t work to make things better, or see the ills needing to be fixed, or work hard for our futures, because we do. But we appreciate the luck we have, the opportunities we’ve been able to maximize upon and the people in our lives.

That said, Kyle and Owen seem to be particularly appreciative. We’ve mentioned before that they just are, and always have been. They don’t want much, they almost never ask for anything material, and they love what they have. For example, when we were in New Hope , and we did a little shopping for baby sister, there were stuffed animals all around and they never asked for any of them. The only thing they ever ask for are experiences, like riding the train.

Anyone who has been around them will attest that they are some of the most polite boys and almost always say please and thank you. Mostly that is our doing – we work hard to make sure they say their please’s and thank you’s.

But sometimes it just comes so unexpectedly, so genuinely, so amazingly so joyfully.

When I was putting Kyle to bed and I was done “talking about the day” I said to him: “Kyle, do you have any questions for me?” Now, he doesn’t seem to know what a question is – he thinks it’s some kind of statement.
Lying there in his single bed, about half the length of it, two honey bunnies, one sheep, a stuffed fish and his pillow, wearing his frog covered PJs and having just read his favorite Marching Band book, He got a huge grin- I could see his white teeth in the dark:
“It was a great day. I loved to ride the train. Thank you Papi for the train. I love you.” and gave me a big kiss on the cheek.

That’s not why we do it, but wow does that make it all worth it.
Apr 27
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Sporadic Blogging

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So much going on here, and it was a heck of a week last week (even more insane than our usual), and I’m exhausted a lot (given that I’m lugging around a full term baby in my belly!)… so our blogging has become a bit sporadic as of late. This is no indication that we have a lack of material to blog about! LOL! Tomorrow we’ll post a real post, but right now we’re going to watch 24 and try to get to bed early. Hang in there with us during this not-posting-every-day-phase!

Apr 23
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Steel gossamer

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In this world, among the various types of people, there are those who consume and those who create. That’s not to say that people who consume do not create, nor that people who create do not consume. It’s to say that people come at the world from the perspective of consumption or the perspective of creation. And you can’t have it both ways.

People who foundationally understand the world through the lens of consumption are those who believe that the work they do is intended for generating a reward they can gather as a result of their labor. And at the end of successful work, they believe they deserve the fruits they have gathered.

People who foundationally understand the world through the lens of creation are those who believe that the results of the work they do is intended to be consumed by others. At the end of successful work, others receive the fruits of their labor.

There are few people in the second category. And honestly, I am not sure I am one of them, although I think I might be, I want to be and I try.

But what I have noticed is that the people who fall into that second category, and I mean really fall into that second category, like at the bottom of an enormous pit, fall into that second category – are really rare.

The work these people do ranges widely – artists who create for the pure human connection their work; aid or missionary workers in Haiti, or Africa, or even modern ghettos in New York; social workers, crisis hotline staff, shelter workers, – people who give unglamorously of themselves for the betterment of others. It can also be someone who reaches out to a friend and suggests they meet another person whom they would like. Then step out of the middle and let it be. It could be a cup of coffee bought by a stranger. It does not have to be a big thing to be a big thing.

Of course, all those things can be done by someone who is really a consumer. The creation is not just in the act, but in the attitude and how it informs every decision, every action, every reaction that someone does. And that attitude directly affects the recipient of the creation.

If it’s done out of a desire for reward, then it has one meaning. One that requires something back from the recipient. If it’s done out of creation, it requires nothing in return. For people in the consuming category, it’s about them. For people in the creation category, it’s about you.

People who are true creators, in addition to the work they do, create a web around them. A web of people who tie into them and give back into the web. A web that feels so fragile, so tenuous, but when push comes to shove, is stronger than any contrived hierarchical web created to give power.

If you are lucky enough to have become entangled in such a web, don’t let go. If you are so lucky a person has created such a web around you, be thankful and appreciative. If you are so lucky that you have an opportunity to give back to this web, do it without hesitation.

In addition to my wife Heather, I personally really only know a few other people who are genuine creators.

Janet and Don just left after visiting for 5 sleeps. It’s not just that Janet washed every single piece of baby clothes, cooked for all of us, cleaned and loved the boys. It’s not just that Don gutted our front garden and redid the entire thing, or did a major overhaul on the sandbox, or built the new Adirondacks, or loved the boys. It’s not that when from the moment they arrive to the moment they leave energy and fuel is poured into our lives.

It’s not just that they did those things. It’s that when they did them, they did them for us. They gave to that web, they gave not for them, but for us. They entangled us in their steel gossamer web. And they are like that all day, every day.

And for that we are all thankful.

Apr 23
0

Snapshots I

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Snapshots of the past few days with MorMor and MorFar
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They arrive!
(Kyle insisted that he and Owen dress in all their Red Sox gear in anticipation of MorFar’s arrival. This was entirely Ky Ky’s idea. MorFar, of course, was quite impressed with their get-ups)
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Saturday Lunch
Crazy as it may seem… this is a pretty typical meal for us when MorMor and MorFar are here…
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Philadelphia Zoo
(MorMor and MorFar took K & O to the zoo on Monday)
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Apr 17
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Beautiful Spring Eve

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Last night was a magical spring evening here. There is something so incredibly awe-inspiring wonderful about the glories of spring. And sometimes moments happen that just seem to epitomize it. Last evening was one of those moments. When Braydon was done working he made paper airplanes with the boys and the three of them flew them in the back yard while I cooked dinner. Looking outside the kitchen windows, with the warm spring air flowing in through the screens, I felt desperate to be able to freeze time. Can’t it just stay like this forever? Can’t these boys just never grow one bit older? Can’t they be this perfect age for eternity? How did we get so lucky?? How has this become my life??? It is all too overwhelming sometimes. And then we ate dinner on the porch. There is something about sitting on the porch at the end of a day, eating a favorite meal together, and soaking up laughter and questions and silliness and stories… there is something about it that just… feels… completely right. Our dinners aren’t always like this! Perhaps that is why when they are it feels so beautiful? It is not always spring. Perhaps that is why when it is it feels so magical? Life is not always this good. Perhaps that is why last evening felt so wonder-filled? We count our blessings. And they are many.

Apr 11
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TGIF

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Braydon and I have long tried to live by the motto “work hard, play hard.” We learned this in college, of course (Hail Colby Hail!). And while surely Colby is not the only institution indoctrinating this motto (as it turns out it is Lehigh’s motto too, and the motto of many other schools like Colby/Lehigh)… Colby sure was good at getting its people to internalize the idea. Braydon and I embrace it. And it has been really interesting to watch as our boys take the motto on as their own. We four ‘work hard’ (very hard) all week (we try to never forget how much work it is to be a 3 year old). And we very much look forward to our ‘play hard’ weekends. Braydon and I are also very ritualistic people. On the spectrum, we are way over on the highly-routinized end. We have our routines, we have our little habits, and we cling on to them as anchors in our crazy, crazy lives. And again, it has been really interesting (and sometimes revealing!) to watch as our boys live lives of ritual too. They are so ritualistic. We are all four so ritualistic. Whatever other people may think, or whatever others’ philosophies on life, for us these things work; they help us thrive. Amidst our wild-ride-of-a-life these two things — ‘Work hard, play hard’ and ‘rituals as anchors’ — keep us sane; they keep us grounded; they keep us going. Over the course of the past several weeks and months two special rituals have become anchors for our ‘play hard’ weekends (specifically, the weekends that we’re all at home without any houseguests). During the week K & O do not watch t.v. or videos, but on “S Days” (i.e., Saturdays and Sundays), they not only get to watch, but first thing when they wake up they snuggle up into Mommy and Papi’s bed, watching with in-bed breakfast snacks, juice, and milk. (See photos above.) This “S Day” ritual makes K & O crazy happy. Just crazy, crazy happy. And as much as Braydon and I can’t stand all the crumbs that wind up in our bed, it makes us crazy happy too. Another “S Day” ritual these days (especially in the later weeks of Baby Sister’s brewing) is Blueberry Pancake Making (see photos below). K & O stumble into our bedroom, barely yet awake, shaking Braydon to wake him up, saying, “It’s not a school day Papi, come on! Come on! Let’s go downstairs! Pancakes! Blueberry pancakes!” They let me sleep (actually, K & O command me to sleep: “Mommy, you stay right here! You sleep! You don’t come with us!”), and the three boys head downstairs to the kitchen to get the party started. Last weekend they saved some for me (a first, since usually they are all eaten by the time I get up), and I’ve gotta say, they were the best blueberry pancakes I’ve ever had in my life. Our life is not perfect or idyllic by any stretch of the imagination. We’ve got our fair share of struggle. But “S Day”-‘Play Hard’ Rituals… they are just symbolic of the deeper philosophies of our tiny little life here in Johnson-McCormick-ville. And they really make TGIF mean so much more than simply TGIF.

Apr 09
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He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands

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The two big topics with the boys these days are: 1] Poop (what almost-4-year-old-boy isn’t obsessed with poop??? and why why why does this have to be so????), and 2] God. Today I want to focus on the latter, mostly because — at least to me — it is much more interesting than the poop. Anyway, re: the God topic– they are way into it. Like, waaaaaay way into it. They are trying to get a handle on it. They are fascinated and confused by it. And, especially in the past 24 hours, they’ve been totally fixated on it.
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This stems in part from a book I recently bought for them; a book that they’ve since become enamored with and fixated upon. The book is He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands, illustrated by Kadir Nelson, which (for anyone who knows his work, you understand…) makes it a valuable piece of art in its own right. You could literally take any one page and frame it. The text of the book is simply the words to the song/spiritual. The whole package is a beautiful, powerful, glossy, gorgeous book to savor. I highly recommend it to anyone coming from any religious/spiritual orientation (as long as you believe that there is some sort of higher power, the book is just about as simply perfect as you can get). Anyway, the glory of this book is definitely not lost on K & O. They adore it in every way, and it is their current fav book of choice. Not only do they want it read (and then sung) to them over and over and over, but they need to study the pages and ask a million questions each time. And very recently, Kyle’s been singing the song (with perfect pitch, by the way) repeatedly (i.e., semi-obsessive-compulsively).
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So, they are trying to comprehend whatever they possibly can about God (aren’t we all?). And we (but really, I, since Braydon tends to blank out, deferring to me entirely whenever humanly possible when K & O raise this subject) are doing our best to answer the questions and respond to the commentary. It is… well… challenging for me (to say the least).
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Right now the concept that God is not a person is looming large. If not a person, if not an animal, if not an anything tangible, then what, exactly, is it? And the way that we figuratively –not literally– use “He” (as in, “He’s got the whole world…”) is utterly mystifying to them (and, I should say, very hard for me to try to explain in 3 year old terms… um, figurative literary word usage and historical patriarchal hegemonic cultural baggage… hard stuff to grapple with when you’re THREE). And the idea that God “holds us in his hands” seems to hang in their intellectual balance between being downright baffling and making perfect sense. We’re all over the map with this whole thing right now… but however complex and confusing, it is big right now. My highest priorities at this point are to try to convey to them that– a) God is all around us and in us; that b) God is all that is good and right; and that c) God is above/beyond us and to be revered by us. I have no idea if they are getting ‘a’ and ‘b’ at all. But, this morning at the breakfast table, there was sure-sign proof that ‘c’ is definitely sinking in.
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Braydon is away on a “work trip” so it was just the boys and I at the table. About halfway through their pancakes Owen dramatically reminded Kyle and I that “WE FORGOT TO SAY GRACE!!!!!!” We stopped everything to oblige– holding hands to say it, as we always do. The boys were in a wild and silly mood this morning (what else is new?) and grace (the grace that we say and have always said for every meal) followed in suit: in crazy voices with wild bodily movements, barely able to contain themselves, they belted out– “God is great, God is good, we give thanks, for our food, and help us to be ever mindful of other’s needs and POOP! POOP! POOP!” (the last word is supposed to be “wants”). They are repeating “Poop!” at the tops of their lungs, slapping their chests, their eyes are locked in with each other, laughing so hard that they are falling out of their chairs. They think this is the funniest thing ever. I sat there soberly and solemnly (and dramatically) exuding the most intensely grave “Ohhhh, this is serious“-look I can possibly muster as I slowly sip my green pregnancy tea (wishing for strong dark coffee). Their laughter falls short pretty quick. They bat a few eyes at me in an attempt to warm me up. But it fails miserably (at least from all outward appearances). And then Kyle takes the bait: “What Mommy?” I go for the jugular: “Kyle and Owen, just remember: saying grace is talking to God, and God’s got the whole world in his hands.” Dead silence. They look at me like they are watching their first horror movie. I proceed: “God’s got you in his hands. Kyle and Owen. In God‘s hands.” As if the whole thing was scripted for a Sunday School Educational Video, completely on cue, the two of them look at each other, swiftly grab hands, and re-recite grace in the most reverent tone I have ever heard come out of the two of them. With no “poop” inserted. None whatsoever. As soon as it was done, Owen instantaneously says, “Mommy, I’ll be right back!” and he takes off upstairs, Kyle right on his heels. They return 60 seconds later and hand me their fav book of the moment. And I had to read it to them, and sing it to them, (with about 300 questions in between), 4 times over the course of the second half of their pancakes.