Our beloved Alex came last night to babysit so that Braydon and I could go out for dinner for a long overdue date night. We try to do date nights pretty regularly — and always have — but for the past few months Little Miss has been cramping our style. So we were especially happy to get out together alone. And K & O were very happy to have Alex come last night. When I first announced the plan to them, however, they were pretty perturbed. They were annoyed that Mommy and Papi were going out to a restaurant without them (since they love restaurants so much). I explained (like I always do) that Mommy and Papi love each other very much and we need to be able to have some “alone time” together every once in a while, just us, nobody else. “Plus,” I said, “we’re going to a Grown Up Restaurant.” I had never tagged that part on the end before and it caught their attention. “Oh!” said Kyle, “a Grown Up Restaurant? Only grown ups are allowed there?” “That’s right,” I said. “They don’t let kids go there?” asked Owen. “Not really,” I said. (We were going to our favorite wintertime date night restaurant, Blue, and it genuinely is not a kid-friendly restaurant). This concept — of a “Grown Up Restaurant” — seemed to make the whole idea of us going out without them more palatable. Pondering this new idea, Kyle asked, “What do they have there?” [meaning what kind of food] But before I could answer he quickly jumped in, “Wait, I know, it is a caffeine restaurant, right Mama? They have caffeine there.” Owen chimed right in: “Yes! That’s right Kyle, it is a caffeine restaurant! Caffeine and wine. Right Mommy?” I said, “Yup!” And that was it. From that point on there was no complaining about us going out without them. By the time Alex arrived they were waving us out the door to go get our caffeine and wine. ;0
- a “headbird” = a quarter (as in the coin; not ‘heads or tails’ but ‘head or bird’)
- a “flying sausage” = a flying saucer (as in the type of sled)
- a “barracuda” = a big wave (as in ‘the big kahuna’)
- an “invitation party” = a party that you get invited to via a formal, on-paper, invitation
- a “big crunch” = a big chunk of parmesan cheese (note: parmesan cheese only; if speaking of any other type of cheese –or any other of anything for that matter– they say, a “big chunk”)
- “lickitty” (as in, “Let’s make it lickitty!”) = to stir up your ice cream until it is liquidy/soupy
(for a couple examples of other posts on K & O’s twinspeak click here and here)
This morning we had a two hour snow delay for school. We got about 4 inches of wet snow. In New England this would be a joke, but here it’s not. And honestly, I was slipping all over the road. Of course, the boys had insisted we take the back way, so maybe that was it. Or maybe it was that we were playing “On the road again” at full volume and singing along. Who knows.
MorMor was here for five sleeps. Five sleeps = five glorious days of help and camaraderie. Anyone who has been reading this blog for awhile knows about MorMor’s visits. Having her here cuts our work in half (at least) and doubles our laughs (at least). Mostly the work involves her doing tons of things around here that we don’t even know need to be done (seriously). Mostly the laughs involve us cracking up at how insane it is around here all the time (seriously). Seeing our life through her eyes makes us laugh our tushes off round the clock. She’s let in as a true insider (so she sees it all), and yet having her here allows us to see the craziness-that-is-our-life through the eyes of an outsider-looking-in. It is hard to explain. I don’t think I do our life justice on this blog. I don’t think I’m able to represent just how CRAZY –in so many ways, on so many levels– it really is around here. The stuff that goes on is just off the wall. You’ve just gotta see it to believe it. And MorMor sees it. So we laugh and laugh (or else we cry).
Anyway~~~ this trip involved much sewing. Ever since they started at the Waldorf school the fall before last, K & O have an inability to keep a pair of pants longer than 3 months MAX without getting holes in the knees. I am not kidding. We cannot get a pair of pants to last longer than about 12 weeks. So MorMor brought her sewing machine this time to patch up ten (count them, TEN!!!!!!!!!!) pair of K & O’s pants. I’ve tried just about every brand of boys’ pants on the market. They are not tough enough for these boys. MorMor wants to try Carhart next — and she plans to buy some pants to test out ASAP. We shall see. In the meantime, she was patching up knees like you wouldn’t believe. While she was at it, she gave the boys their first sewing lessons. Now that was interesting (we laughed and we cried during that one).
She cooks for us too whenever she’s here. I know, I know, we are beyond lucky. One of the things she made this time was lamb stew. The boys loved it. Kyle, in particular. He devoured his first bowl and then enthusiastically requested that he have “lamb suet” (he insisted on calling it ‘lamb suet’ instead of ‘lamb stew’…. ??????) in his lunch at school the next day. And he ate every last drop from his thermos at school (and believe me, I packed a lot in there). Lamb suet was a huge winner!!!!!!! (Among lots of other things she cooked too). Whenever MorMor’s here, though, the big excitement where food is concerned (at least for K & O) is ICE CREAM. Lots of ice cream eating goes on when MorMor’s here (and pretty much only when MorMor is here). This time, MorMor gave Meera her very first ice cream. I have pictures of MorMor feeding K & O their very first ice cream too, when they were babies. Meera didn’t like it nearly as much as I remember the boys liking it. But she’ll learn to love it. MorMor will be sure of that.
Oh, and did I mention… when she’s here she sets up office in the guest room and MAINTAINS HER JOB TOO??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Give me your tired, your poor. Your huddles masses yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
Tomorrow we will celebrate our 4th Adoption Day. And it is on our minds.
In our house, Kyle usually wakes up first and comes to snuggle with Braydon and I in bed. He is such a sweet sweet sweetie pie. Anyone who knows Kyle well will attest to this: he’s a dreamy cuddly love bug, sweet as can be (sometimes excessively so!!!). The other morning, he snuggled into our bed, as usual. Bleary-eyed and still half-asleep, holding his Honey Bunny close, he looked into my eyes. Just staring at me, his big brown eyes peering into mine, his very first words of the day were, “Mommy, why did you pick me?” I was stunned. Because we have never talked about adoption in terms of “picking” someone. We have talked about how we “chose” to adopt, and we’ve talked about how K & O’s birthmother “chose” for them to be adopted, but we have never implied that we “picked” Kyle and Owen nor told stories of other adoptions using that language. And the truth is that, unlike many Haitian adoptions, we did not “pick” K & O; we said we’d take any baby and then waited for a referral. We were matched with K & O by our agency and the director of the orphanage. So, lying in bed, half-asleep myself, my mind was quickly jump-started, and then spinning fast, with Kyle’s question.
H: What do you mean?
K: When we were in Haiti with the birthmother. Why did you pick me?
H: Because we wanted you.
K: Oh.
H: Why did you pick me?
K: Because I wanted you.
I understood Kyle’s question better a few days later. He was up on the kitchen counter trying to get something out of the cupboard. A photo on the side of the refrigerator caught his eye and he called me over to look at it with him. It is a photo sent to us three years ago by an American couple who went to K & O’s orphanage to get their son. In the photo the couple are sitting on steps, surrounded by about 40 kids from the orphanage. K & O know what the photo is.
K: Look, mommy, there are lots of babies.
H: That’s right.
K: But you just wanted us.
H: That’s right.
K: Because you dreamed about us everyday.
H: That’s right.
Recently, sitting on my lap after dinner, Kyle whispered in my ear, “When I was in my birthmother’s belly I was just wishing and wishing and wishing you’d come get me.” I responded the same way I always respond to these types of comments from my boys, “We came as quickly as we could,” I said. “But I was waiting for you for so long.” “Yes,” I said, “and we came as quickly as we could.” “Yes,” said Ky Ky, “but it wasn’t quick enough, we needed you and you weren’t there.”
Another day, before school, Kyle ran up to me and whispered in my ear, “I will live with you forever!!!” And then ran off to put on his boots.
A couple of days ago, playing in the playroom, out of nowhere, Kyle asked, point-blank: “Mommy, why did you adopt me?” We talked about it a bit and then he said, “Before I was born, when I was with God, I saw you and Papi, and I told God that I wanted you to be my parents.” This is all very interesting, especially because we have never talked about God as playing a role in our adoption. Although many adoptive families do talk about it that way, we have not. We don’t talk about it having been “God’s plan” or about us being “chosen by God to be together” etc., etc., etc. We have always been very matter-of-fact about the adoption process as we see it, in a very simplistic, age-appropriate way. But Kyle continually puts God into the picture.
For the past month or so, Kyle has been saying basically the same prayer every single night at bedtime. Huddled together, I hear him say this: “Dear God, thank you that I can have this mommy and this papi. Thank you for giving me this house. I really appreciate it God. Amen.”
Meera turns 8 months old today. This feels like a big milestone for us because Kyle and Owen were 8 months old when we brought them home. The newborn baby baby infant stage that we missed with our boys was so wanted by us with this third child. We are sad to see this phase go. We wish Meera could be our baby baby baby girl forever and ever. And yet, of course, every new day and every new stage and phase is an awesome discovery along the way. We recognize things about Meera now that we remember from our early days with K & O. And it feels familiar sometimes — familiar is a feeling we did not have for the first 7+ months of Meera’s life. Our time with her has, so far, been so different from our time with Kyle and Owen when they were babies. But now little things remind us that she is reaching the age that her brothers were when we became parents for the first time. Like, when I’m cutting up whole-grain bagels and putting the pieces in the freezer for Meera to gnaw on later. That is something I did so very often when K & O were little. Or like when Meera stands up slapping her hands upon, while holding herself up on, the ottoman in the family room. We spent hours watching the boys do that when they were babies. It is all bittersweet and full of emotion. Some of the feelings are similar and yet the whole entire experience is so incredibly, incredibly different on so many, many levels. We feel profoundly blessed to have been able to have a newborn by birth and to have been able to adopt by choice. And while Meera is sooooooooooo easy in comparison to K & O as babies (just simply having a singleton is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo easy compared to TWINS!!!, and that is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of comparisons between her and them)… we feel truly grateful for the opportunity to parent both a single baby girl and two twin boys. What an amazing journey we find ourselves on. Milestones like this — the 8 month mark — make us pause and reflect on it all. And it all astounds us. Still. It still just keeps astounding us. Day after day. As for Meera~~~~~ what a sweetie pie this baby girl continues to be. This month has been another biggie for her. She got three new teeth on top, so she now has five teeth total. And she likes to use them for serious eating! She wants little to do with traditional baby food (i.e., pureed things). She refuses to eat applesauce, but loves to chew on fresh apple. She pushes away pureed bananas, but adores pieces of fresh ones. She whole-heartedly rejects pear from a jar, but can’t get enough of a fresh raw pear. She likes to suck on fresh pieces of cut-up orange, and — like her brothers — loves mandarin oranges from a can too. Her favorite snack, by far, is Gerber Wagon Wheels, carrot flavor. Meera is pretty much an all-organic baby, but we do make an exception for this snack and Little Miss couldn’t be more appreciative! As for ‘baby food,’ she still likes green beans and rice, and she loves sweet potatoes. Otherwise, she’ll take ‘real food’ over ‘baby food’ any day. Physically, Meera is still 100% uninterested in rolling over!!! But she wants to stand all day long. When you hold her hands and get her to ‘walk’ standing up, she laughs like crazy. She can sit on her own now for prolonged periods of time. She can stand holding on to something for stretches of 5-10 minutes. She’s done with her playmat and her swing and her bjorn chair.
But she’s loving the johnny jump-up thingy and her new jumparoo that her brothers bought her. At Meera’s 8 month pediatrician appointment she measured 27 inches, 20 pounds. This is the 75th percentile for height, and 95th for weight. A big deal this month has been Mommy going back to work. Meera is one tough little cookie and seems to be handling it well. And she is building a strong bond with Margie, and vice-versa. But man, oh man!, does she ever squeal with delight, and laugh big belly laughs, and cuddle like there’s no tomorrow, when Mama comes home from work!! [and let me tell you, there is absolutely nothing better than that at the end of the work day!!!] She loves her Papi too, especially when he just calmly hangs out with her — which he is so good at doing. But still Meera’s soft spot is for her big bro’s. My goodness gracious does this girl ever adore her brothers. Her favorite part of the day is when she goes to get them at school at 1:00 (Margie confirms this to be true when Meera is with her too)… she could not be more excited and huge-smiley-happy-faced when she sees K and/or O approach her as they come out of their classrooms for pick-up. Oh my oh my! Just watching her get so excited is enough to make your day. Meera still rarely fusses and rarely cries. She definitely knows what she wants and lets it be known, but she chooses her battles carefully (which means that she basically gets whatever she wants when she does want it since it is so rare for her to assert herself!). The biggest development this month, though, has been Meera talking. She says “hi” (sounds more like ‘haaa,’ but it is clearly recognizable when you know what to listen for) and waves ‘hi’ with both hands. She says “Hi Kitty!”, “Hi Book!”, and starting just yesterday… “Hi Baby!” (to a special baby doll that she got for Christmas from MorMor and MorFar). She also waves ‘bye bye’ when someone is leaving her presence. Meera still loves the bath, the stroller, and toys toys toys. She is a happy, happy, happy 8-month-old girl!

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