THANK YOU to everyone who participated in Corey’s Virtual Baby Shower for us! And thank you, especially to our wonderful friend Corey for hosting it! We feel so very blessed!
…for Corey’s Baby Shower Guest Blogger Post, CLICK HERE.
Braydon and I have long tried to live by the motto “work hard, play hard.” We learned this in college, of course (Hail Colby Hail!). And while surely Colby is not the only institution indoctrinating this motto (as it turns out it is Lehigh’s motto too, and the motto of many other schools like Colby/Lehigh)… Colby sure was good at getting its people to internalize the idea. Braydon and I embrace it. And it has been really interesting to watch as our boys take the motto on as their own. We four ‘work hard’ (very hard) all week (we try to never forget how much work it is to be a 3 year old). And we very much look forward to our ‘play hard’ weekends. Braydon and I are also very ritualistic people. On the spectrum, we are way over on the highly-routinized end. We have our routines, we have our little habits, and we cling on to them as anchors in our crazy, crazy lives. And again, it has been really interesting (and sometimes revealing!) to watch as our boys live lives of ritual too. They are so ritualistic. We are all four so ritualistic. Whatever other people may think, or whatever others’ philosophies on life, for us these things work; they help us thrive. Amidst our wild-ride-of-a-life these two things — ‘Work hard, play hard’ and ‘rituals as anchors’ — keep us sane; they keep us grounded; they keep us going. Over the course of the past several weeks and months two special rituals have become anchors for our ‘play hard’ weekends (specifically, the weekends that we’re all at home without any houseguests). During the week K & O do not watch t.v. or videos, but on “S Days” (i.e., Saturdays and Sundays), they not only get to watch, but first thing when they wake up they snuggle up into Mommy and Papi’s bed, watching with in-bed breakfast snacks, juice, and milk. (See photos above.) This “S Day” ritual makes K & O crazy happy. Just crazy, crazy happy. And as much as Braydon and I can’t stand all the crumbs that wind up in our bed, it makes us crazy happy too. Another “S Day” ritual these days (especially in the later weeks of Baby Sister’s brewing) is Blueberry Pancake Making (see photos below). K & O stumble into our bedroom, barely yet awake, shaking Braydon to wake him up, saying, “It’s not a school day Papi, come on! Come on! Let’s go downstairs! Pancakes! Blueberry pancakes!” They let me sleep (actually, K & O command me to sleep: “Mommy, you stay right here! You sleep! You don’t come with us!”), and the three boys head downstairs to the kitchen to get the party started. Last weekend they saved some for me (a first, since usually they are all eaten by the time I get up), and I’ve gotta say, they were the best blueberry pancakes I’ve ever had in my life. Our life is not perfect or idyllic by any stretch of the imagination. We’ve got our fair share of struggle. But “S Day”-‘Play Hard’ Rituals… they are just symbolic of the deeper philosophies of our tiny little life here in Johnson-McCormick-ville. And they really make TGIF mean so much more than simply TGIF.
It is hard to believe that only 2 weeks have passed since the last installment in the Baby Bump Series… in just 2 short weeks I’ve gone from feeling like this belly/body is very manageable to feeling like this belly/body is verging on totally unmanageable. Baby Sister is not only newly head-down, but she’s suddenly packing it on!!!!!! And the result, for me, is: slipped ligaments in my pelvis, severe pelvic joint pain, quite a lot of pelvic pressure, some pretty serious lower back pain, very sleepless nights, and my very first-ever trip to the chiropractor. Everything was relatively easy breezy until about a week ago. And then suddenly (and ironically) with the relief of Baby Sister flipping, came too the flip-side of pregnancy: discomfort. Emphasis on the dis. Luckily Braydon found me a miracle-worker chiropractor who happily works on pregnant women. The bright side is that I still don’t have that “enormous”/”beached whale”/miserable/’I’m-so-ready-for-this-to-be-over’ feeling. But I wonder how much that is because I simply can’t afford to let myself wish for this to be over anytime too soon — I’m still hoping that I go right to the due date, if not over, because of how very long the to-do list still is. We’d like to have, for example, an infant car seat… and a bedroom for baby… and some diapers. You know– not necessities per se, but things that are kind of important to us nonetheless. It would be nice to at least feel like we’re prepared for her arrival. Not to mention other little details like: the semester still has 3 weeks to go, grades are due May 12, I have multiple big projects to wrap up before my maternity leave begins, etc., etc., etc. Intellectually, I know she could come any day now. Emotionally, I feel like there is no way on earth she can come any sooner than May 15. Who knows when Baby Sister will decide to make her grand debut??? But right now I’m still counting on the due date as accurate~~~ as of today: 5 weeks and counting!
The two big topics with the boys these days are: 1] Poop (what almost-4-year-old-boy isn’t obsessed with poop??? and why why why does this have to be so????), and 2] God. Today I want to focus on the latter, mostly because — at least to me — it is much more interesting than the poop. Anyway, re: the God topic– they are way into it. Like, waaaaaay way into it. They are trying to get a handle on it. They are fascinated and confused by it. And, especially in the past 24 hours, they’ve been totally fixated on it.
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This stems in part from a book I recently bought for them; a book that they’ve since become enamored with and fixated upon. The book is He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands, illustrated by Kadir Nelson, which (for anyone who knows his work, you understand…) makes it a valuable piece of art in its own right. You could literally take any one page and frame it. The text of the book is simply the words to the song/spiritual. The whole package is a beautiful, powerful, glossy, gorgeous book to savor. I highly recommend it to anyone coming from any religious/spiritual orientation (as long as you believe that there is some sort of higher power, the book is just about as simply perfect as you can get). Anyway, the glory of this book is definitely not lost on K & O. They adore it in every way, and it is their current fav book of choice. Not only do they want it read (and then sung) to them over and over and over, but they need to study the pages and ask a million questions each time. And very recently, Kyle’s been singing the song (with perfect pitch, by the way) repeatedly (i.e., semi-obsessive-compulsively).
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So, they are trying to comprehend whatever they possibly can about God (aren’t we all?). And we (but really, I, since Braydon tends to blank out, deferring to me entirely whenever humanly possible when K & O raise this subject) are doing our best to answer the questions and respond to the commentary. It is… well… challenging for me (to say the least).
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Right now the concept that God is not a person is looming large. If not a person, if not an animal, if not an anything tangible, then what, exactly, is it? And the way that we figuratively –not literally– use “He” (as in, “He’s got the whole world…”) is utterly mystifying to them (and, I should say, very hard for me to try to explain in 3 year old terms… um, figurative literary word usage and historical patriarchal hegemonic cultural baggage… hard stuff to grapple with when you’re THREE). And the idea that God “holds us in his hands” seems to hang in their intellectual balance between being downright baffling and making perfect sense. We’re all over the map with this whole thing right now… but however complex and confusing, it is big right now. My highest priorities at this point are to try to convey to them that– a) God is all around us and in us; that b) God is all that is good and right; and that c) God is above/beyond us and to be revered by us. I have no idea if they are getting ‘a’ and ‘b’ at all. But, this morning at the breakfast table, there was sure-sign proof that ‘c’ is definitely sinking in.
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Braydon is away on a “work trip” so it was just the boys and I at the table. About halfway through their pancakes Owen dramatically reminded Kyle and I that “WE FORGOT TO SAY GRACE!!!!!!” We stopped everything to oblige– holding hands to say it, as we always do. The boys were in a wild and silly mood this morning (what else is new?) and grace (the grace that we say and have always said for every meal) followed in suit: in crazy voices with wild bodily movements, barely able to contain themselves, they belted out– “God is great, God is good, we give thanks, for our food, and help us to be ever mindful of other’s needs and POOP! POOP! POOP!” (the last word is supposed to be “wants”). They are repeating “Poop!” at the tops of their lungs, slapping their chests, their eyes are locked in with each other, laughing so hard that they are falling out of their chairs. They think this is the funniest thing ever. I sat there soberly and solemnly (and dramatically) exuding the most intensely grave “Ohhhh, this is serious“-look I can possibly muster as I slowly sip my green pregnancy tea (wishing for strong dark coffee). Their laughter falls short pretty quick. They bat a few eyes at me in an attempt to warm me up. But it fails miserably (at least from all outward appearances). And then Kyle takes the bait: “What Mommy?” I go for the jugular: “Kyle and Owen, just remember: saying grace is talking to God, and God’s got the whole world in his hands.” Dead silence. They look at me like they are watching their first horror movie. I proceed: “God’s got you in his hands. Kyle and Owen. In God‘s hands.” As if the whole thing was scripted for a Sunday School Educational Video, completely on cue, the two of them look at each other, swiftly grab hands, and re-recite grace in the most reverent tone I have ever heard come out of the two of them. With no “poop” inserted. None whatsoever. As soon as it was done, Owen instantaneously says, “Mommy, I’ll be right back!” and he takes off upstairs, Kyle right on his heels. They return 60 seconds later and hand me their fav book of the moment. And I had to read it to them, and sing it to them, (with about 300 questions in between), 4 times over the course of the second half of their pancakes.
Now that I am visibly and obviously pregnant, we are quite the sight when we’re out and about. As though people weren’t confused enough when they’d come across us in public, now it seems we are even more of a perplexity than ever. People say the darndest things. Most of the truly memorable declarations are from total strangers. But even aquaintances have been having some pretty astonishing things flying out of their mouths lately. Note that all of these things have been said directly to me –some by multiple people on multiple occasions– very cheerily and chipperly with absolutely no foul intention. And, most disconcerting… these things are often said right in front of K & O. Here is my current Top Ten List for:
The Most Very Irksome Things that Random People Say To Me These Days
- “You must be so happy to finally be having a baby of your own!”
- “Do you mind if I ask? How long did you really try before you adopted?”
- “That’s what always happens! As soon as you adopt, then you get pregnant!”
- “Well, just look at you! Just like they always say– just adopt!– it’s the sure way to get pregnant! See!?!”
- “Wow! So, you’re ‘gonna be like Brangelina!!!!!!!!”
- “Whoa Mama! Look at you! You’re finally ‘gonna have a baby!”
- “Wow! So, this must be a miracle baby for you?!”
- “Isn’t it just amazing??! Miraculous??! To truly experience becoming a mother?!”
- “So, how does it feel to finally be having a real baby?”
- “Look at you! You’re ‘gonna be a Mama!!!”
“Irksome” is nothin’! At the end of the day, it is really, really nothing. See AP story out of Haiti by clicking here.
Tonight while we were eating dinner Kyle was talking like crazy, as usual. The three of us (Braydon, Owen, and I) basically just sit there and listen as Kyle chitter chats his way through the meal– leaving barely any chance for any of the rest of us to get a word in edgewise. Somehow, miraculously, the boy also manages to eat 5 times more and 10 times more quickly than any of the other three of us (even though he’s also the only one talking). It is quite the sight. Anyway, he was talking, talking, talking. Telling us stories about the day, the gossip of the Acorn Room, fabricating some things (clearly going on tangents of wild imagination), and giving non-fictional factual details regarding some other things. At one point he was telling us all about some big drama that occurred today while he was playing outside at school. Something about being in the woods, and fighting with Stella over a shovel. The story was coming to a climax, he was getting very animated, and he goes: “I hided the shovel in the woods so that Stella couldn’t finded it! I hided it in the woods!!! And then she finded it and she tooked it away!!!” (he says this like it was the biggest act of treason Stella could have ever inflicted upon him) “I was crying and crying because she took that shovel!!! And Stella! Stella was in a bad mood to me! Stella was in a very bad mood to me! I said, ‘No Stella! No thank you! I was playing with that shovel!’ but she just took that shovel away! She was in a bad mood to me!” At this point I said, “Wow, so what did you do Kyle?” He says, “I said, ‘Stella! Stella! You are doing bad behavior! At my birthday party you will be last!!!!!!'” (inside scoop: in current-Kyle-talk this translates to: ‘At my birthday party you will be last in line when we are all marching around with instruments like a marching band’ — note: in his present-day soon-to-have-a-4-year-old-birthday-party-life, this is about the biggest diss that Kyle could possibly say to/about anyone). Braydon had to put his napkin up to his face to hide that he was bursting out laughing; Owen was just in his own little world eating his shrimp scampi. I said, “Wow, Kyle, you said that to Stella???” (just shocked that he would say something that — at least in his own mind — is sooo nasty to one of his friends). “No mommy! I didn’t say it to her! I said it in my own mind! I said it inside my own mind! Because Stella was in a very bad mood to me, so Stella is going to be LAST at my birthday party! She will be BEHIND Will! And she will be LAST!!!! O.k., mommy? O.k.?”
Overheard from the front seat, K & O in the back seat, today driving home in the car~~
Owen: Kyle?
Kyle: [ignores him]O: Kyle?
K: [ignores him]O: Excuse me Kyle.
K: I’m not talking to you.
O: Kyle?! Kyle???
K: I’m on the phone. [holding his hand up to his ear, pretending to be on a cell phone]O: Kyle?!
K: [pretending to be talking to someone on the phone] Um, yes, so, um, ok–
O: Kyle!!!?!
K: I’m on the phone!
O: KYLE?!!!?!?!
K: I’m on the PHONE! Just one minute!
O: Kyle?! Kyle?! Kyle?! Kyle?! Kyle?! I’m being so patient Kyle!
K: I’M ON THE PHONE! You need to be PATIENT!!!
O: Kyle?!
K: O.k., I’m done. What???
O: Kyle, I’m not talking to you!
K: I was on the phone. I’m done. What do you want Owen?
O: I want to tell you that I’m NOT talking to YOU!
K: Why you not talking to me Owen?
O: I’m not talking to you!
K: We need to work it out Owen.
O: I’m not working myself out!
K: I’m not working myself out either!
O: Whatever Kyle. WHATEVER!
K: WHATEVER Owen!
O: Kyle, I’m a little mad at you. O.k., now I’m VERY mad at you!
Just a few minutes ago we were putting the boys to bed. I was walking with Owen into his room and just before he climbed up into his bed he dropped his Lovey Lion. Holding Twin Brother in the one arm, he leaned over to pick Lovey Lion up off the floor with his free arm, and then very dramatically he very slowly stood back up from having been bent over– and as he was very dramatically standing back upright he said (melodramatically, as if he was in pain): “Ugh. Ah. Oh, it is just so hard to lean over. I have a big June in my belly.” I had all I could do not to burst out laughing. He looked up at me and said, totally seriously, “I didn’t eat her mommy. I didn’t chew her. She just grew inside there.” And then he very dramatically climbed up into his bed and got snuggled up with Lovey Lion and Twin Brother.
Isn’t this photo beautiful? Braydon took it a few days ago in our yard. Suddenly in the past couple of days it is feeling like it is really, really spring here. Daffodils are blooming everywhere, forsythia is bright yellow all over the place, buds are bursting on trees. Gosh, I love this time of year. And this spring seems extra crisp. It feels to me like all of spring is more decisive this year. I know it is because of the baby in my belly. We’re trying to take in every moment. And it all feels so real. It feels like big changes are underway… like it is all happening and there is no stopping it… but it is all right and there’s no need to try to keep it at bay… spring. It is a surreal, yet so real, feeling. Today I had my 34 week OB appointment. 6 weeks ’till Baby Sister is due. 4 weeks ’till Baby Sister is considered full term. And the big good news was that Baby Sister has taken the dive! She’s suddenly head-down! And as the doctor said, he’s “confident” that she won’t flip back because she’s “trapped there.” Nice! The amazing thing is that I’m pretty sure I felt her flip downward– Last night at about 9:30 Braydon and I were in the baby’s room (or, more accurately, I should say, we were in what will become the baby’s room… we’re working on that project)… Braydon was putting together a bookshelf and I was sitting there watching him. I had been in so much pain over the past several days (with Baby Sister’s head crammed up against my right ribs and my right ribs just in agony day and night). She started her usual nightly routine: break-dancing like her brothers, like a little maniac, moving around like crazy in there. Suddenly there was a very, very huge movement and I lost my breath for a minute. And then… instant relief. I sat right up, and said to Braydon, “Oh my gosh! She just moved a huge move and it feels soooo much better!” I immediately stood up, just to see how it would feel. Sure enough– total relief. I felt about 15 pounds lighter and had about 15 times the energy/pep as I had just 60 seconds earlier. Braydon felt my belly and could feel the difference– she’s much more aligned in there, much more centered. I got the best night sleep I’ve had in many days last night. And I woke up feeling great. The doctor confirmed it: she’s head down… right where she’s supposed to be right about now. Thank heavens. She hasn’t “dropped” but, according to the doctor she’s “locked in.” Today I’ve felt a lot better than the past few days. My right ribs are still hurting (her butt is shoved up against them now), but now it hurts much less than before, and it is only really painful about 40% of the day (as opposed to the 80-90% of the day that it was hurting before). There is a lot to do in the next 6 weeks (including tying up many loose ends at work, accomplishing many home projects, checking many things off the massive To-Do list, and keeping two soon-to-be-4-year-old boys relatively calm about the many things they are overly-excited about), but at least it is a beautiful wondrous time of year to be doing it.
This morning Kyle was up before Owen and we had breakfast together. After we ate, he wanted a little snuggle and while filling his love tank, I said: “You are such a smart and nice boy! HOW did I get such a smart and nice boy? How? Do you know how I got such a smart and nice boy How did I get so lucky!?!?”
Kyle: [grinning ear to ear, basking in the glory] “When I was a little baby, you adopted me!!!”
Later, when I was giving Owen breakfast, we had a similar discussion: “How did I get so lucky? How did I get such a smart and nice boy? How, how, how???”
Owen: [also grinning ear to ear, basking in the glory] ” Yooooooou knooooow, you crazy papi!!! In Haiti!!!”
This afternoon I was watching the boys flying high on the swing glider in the back yard…
Kyle: Owen, we are super high!
Owen: Yes, Kyle, we are super duper high!
K: Oh my God!!! We are so high!
O: Oh my Lord!!!
K: Oh my God!!!
O: Oh my Lord!!!
K: Don’t worry Mommy, we’re talking about CHURCH! Don’t worry!
O: Yes! We’re just talking about CHURCH Mommy!
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