This morning we went to Bounce U with Joy Lin and her Mom and Dad. It was heaven for Kyle and Owen to be at Bounce U playing with Joy Lin. And Braydon and I had such a good time chatting with Chris and Lisa. One thing that is so great about getting together with another high-energy-and-full-of-life-kid-family is that you don’t have to feel self-conscious about how high-energy-and-full-of-life your kid(s) is/are! You all just sort of understand each other in some way that feels really comfortable and special. It’s really nice. Anyway, at one point Owen and Kyle lost track of each other (a rare thing). Owen ran up to Lisa and I and said to me, “Mommy, where is my twin???” I pointed to where Kyle and Joy Lin were, and Owen ran off to play with them. But this wording– “my twin”– was so striking to me. He didn’t say, “Where is Kyle?” or “Where is my Ky Ky?” or “Where is my brother?” (all of which I’ve heard many times before), instead he said, “my twin.” Of course being twins is a huge part of K & O’s identities, they know that they are twins, they understand what twins are, etc… but I’ve never heard either of them use “my twin” to refer to the other. This was a first. And Owen said it so unconsciously, so unreflectively. “Where is my twin???”… somehow it just seemed so… I don’t know… just so striking to hear Owen say that. I just can’t even imagine what it would be like to be twins. I was thinking about it again when we were out to lunch. Eating our tacos and burritos and quesadillas the boys were fooling around with each other in their characteristic way. Braydon and I were just watching them carry on (as were most people in the restaurant), getting the biggest kick out of them. But we couldn’t help but talk about what we talk about often when watching them interact— there is something so unique about the way they are –as twins– together. And then tonight at home I was thinking about it again as I watched them sit together watching their Curious George video. They were sitting right next to each other so that their entire sides of their bodies were touching. They always sit this way when watching a video. I watched as Kyle put his arm up and rested his elbow on Owen’s shoulder, Kyle’s hand touching the side of Owen’s face. They sat that way for a long stretch, and I watched as Owen rubbed his cheek along Kyle’s hand a couple of times — neither of them the least bit bothered by the proximity, neither of them taking their eyes off of the t.v. Their twinship— it is just not like any other relationship. I can’t put words to it to describe it. But I have to say, that to be able to witness it so intimately, as Braydon and I get to do daily, makes for such a fascinating life. And it is such a wonder-filled blessing for us to be able to parent our twins.

Owen: Mommy, I played with Stella today at school. She is my friend.
Heather: Yes, she is your good friend.
Owen: Yes, and she is Kyle’s friend too. Right Kyle?
Kyle: That’s right. She is my friend. Mommy, can Stella come to my Birthday Party?
H: Yes, she can.
K: I told Stella she can come to my birthday party.
H: Oh, good!
O: And we went to Stella’s Ballerina Dancing birthday party yesterday. We did that, right Mommy?
H: Yes, that’s right.
K: When we did that I felt very anxious Mommy. I felt nervous when it was Stella’s birthday party.
H: Oh? You did Kyle?
K: Yes, I felt anxious and nervous.
H: Oh. Why?
K: Because I wanted it to be my birthday party. So that’s why I felt anxious. That’s why.
H: Oh, did you feel jealous?
K: Yes! Jealous! I felt so jealous! Because I want it to be my birthday.
O: Mommy, why is it not our birthday? Why? Why?
H: It will be your birthday soon. In a few weeks.
O: It will be twenty weeks!!!?! Why not one week? Why twenty weeks?
H: It isn’t twenty weeks, just a few.
K: That’s why I was so jealous. That’s why! Because it can never be our birthday. Never ever. It is too far away.
O: That’s why we’re so mad at Stella, right Kyle?
K: That’s right Owen!

* * *

Kyle: Mommy, today, at school, somebody said hurtful words to me.
Heather: Oh?!
K: Yes! They said hurtful words. And then I said, ‘WHATEVER,’ and then I walked away. I just walked right away. She said, ‘I don’t want to play with you.’ And I said, ‘WHATEVER,’ and then I walked away from her!
H: Oh, that was a good thing to do.
K: Yes! And then I said hurtful words to her too! I said it very loud! I said, ‘I don’t want to play with you too’!!!

* * *

Owen: Mommy, I will stomp up the stairs and go to my room and slam the door!
Heather: Why?
O: Because I’m getting so anxious!
H: Oh?! Why are you so anxious?
O: I’m so anxious because my Baby Sister.
H: Oh?
O: I’m so anxious because my Baby Sister is not coming out yet!
H: Oh! Right, she’s not coming out yet. So that makes you feel anxious?
O: Yes! And that’s why I’m going to stomp up the stairs and slam my door! Because I’m so mad! I’m so mad and I’m so anxious because my Baby Sister is not coming out yet!

Hi All, O.k., so over the past few months many people have asked us if we’re having a Baby Shower and/or where we’re registered. Being the oh-so-traditional girl that I am (not! …but…hey… some traditions do have legitimacy to them), I’ve answered those questions by saying that we’re not having a Shower and we don’t have a Registry. My logic was that we had FOUR (4!) amazing Baby Showers when we were waiting for Kyle and Owen and tradition is to not have showers for 2nd babies, 3rd babies, etc. When I’d say this most people would respond the same way: “But this is different!!! You’ve never been pregnant before!!!” Well, it is true, this is different, and I haven’t been pregnant before (for those of you who don’t know– we never even tried to get pregnant before, we just went straight for adoption with K & O), and, like many people have pointed out, we’ve definitely never had a newborn baby before!!! (eeeks!), but still, I was feeling a bit funny about the idea of a Baby Shower for Baby Sister… until I talked it over with our dear friend Corey. Being an adoptive and bio mom herself, she was somehow able to put me at ease about it all. She also insisted that she was going to throw a Shower for us! And then she put us to task to set up a Baby Registry (so Braydon and I registered at Babies R Us for all the newborn/infant things that we need). Corey’s non-traditional Baby Shower idea is beautifully perfect for us and makes us feel truly showered with love. She really wants to get the blogosphere involved — so, folks, here’s a Guest Blogger post from our wonderful friend Corey!

This afternoon we were driving in the car to the hospital for a pre-operative appointment for Owen’s umbilical hernia surgery (it is scheduled for March 19). We had been to the pediatric surgeon last week, and somehow in the past few days all fear and anxiety over the upcoming operation has seemed to have evaporated. The boys were in great moods this afternoon (totally unfazed by the idea of surgery/hospital/pre-op-appointment/etc) and they were having a great time in the car fooling around and basically doing their normal stuff— acting crazy and wild and out-of-control. It was starting to get to be a little too much. From the front driver’s seat Braydon said to them “Guys you’re getting too revved up. It is time to slow down and quiet down.” They basically ignored this and kept on with their antics, including shouting/yelling/screaming whenever they’d see a car type they recognized on the highway (which is often since they recognize many makes and models). He said it again, this time more sternly and more loudly, “Guys, you’re getting too revved up. It is time to slow down and quiet down.” They both, in unison, started shouting, at the tops of their lungs, “An HHR!!!! An HHR!!!!! An HHR!!!!” I swung around from the passenger seat and yelled at the two of them, “Papi said to quiet down!!!!” Only about one notch quieter (i.e., still waaaay tooooo loud) they started in with screams of, “But it was an HHR! You missed it! An HHR! An HHR!” I swung back around: “THAT IS ENOUGH! NO YELLING!” This stopped them cold. More calmly I said, “Guys, you don’t have to yell! We can hear you when you use your regular voice!” Owen, without batting an eye, came right back, “But I’m not good at that!”

It has been a month since Owen gave up his pacis. He threw them in the trash and never looked back. When the boy’s ready, the boy’s ready. This afternoon K & O were ‘taking a shower’ (i.e., mostly playing with water and soap) together in the shower in me and Braydon’s bathroom. I was sitting in the bathroom reading while they played on and on for a loooong time. They were having a ball and very conversational in there. At one point I overheard this, from Owen, out of the blue, totally unrelated to anything they had been doing/talking about:
“Kyle, yesterday I put my pacis in the trash. Right in the trash because I didn’t need them anymore. And someone needs to take one out for Baby Sister. A tiny one. A paci for Baby Sister. O.k. Kyle?”
Kyle said, “Uh huh.”
And that was that.

(Photo taken with my cell phone camera, by Braydon, today.)

1. At Amelia’s party there was a large fresh fruit tray laid out with a bowl of yogurt in the center to use for dipping. At one point the kids were all playing while some of the moms sat chatting. Out of the corner of my eye I caught Kyle leaning over the fruit tray, with yogurt dripping from his mouth all over the fruit, holding a spoon in his hand (somewhere he had found a spoon), and absolutely devouring the bowl of yogurt. Under the radar of the other mothers I carefully and quietly motioned to get his attention, gave him the ‘hairy eyeball,’ and mouthed the words to tell him to “come over to me right now.” Still leaning over the fruit, yogurt and drool dripping all over the tray, spoon in one hand, the other hand unsuccessfully wiping yogurt off his face (and successfully smearing it all over his face/chin/neck) he says — super loud– “WHAT MOMMY? I WAS JUST EATING SOME YUMMY YOGURT!?!!????” All the mothers then of course turned to look at him. The one sitting closest nudged me and said, “At least Kim [Amelia’s Mom] is still in the kitchen!” At that precise moment Kim shouted out, “Time for the cake!” and everyone got up to move to the dining room while I mopped up my kid and cleaned up the tray.
2. The dancing portion of Stella’s Ballerina party was truly a lovely thing. All of the parents quietly sat along one wall as we watched the children in the center of the sunlit studio– dance lessons to learn some graceful steps and leaps, enacting stories about fairies and magical forests, classical music playing all throughout. I was getting lost in it all, watching K & O as they became more and more entranced in their own imaginations, prancing around like little dancer boys. Until all of a sudden, from right in the center of the room, Owen shouts out, “MOMMY! I HAVE TO GO POOPIE! BADLY!” (Luckily for everyone we made it to the bathroom just in time).
3. As I noted, at Amelia’s house there is a duck pond. It has a fountain in the center. As we were walking toward it to go feed the ducks a few of the kids ran up ahead. As we got closer Braydon and I could see that K & O had discovered the cord that runs electricity to the fountain. And the two of them were playing tug of war with it. Under my breath I told Braydon to “GET DOWN THERE AND STOP THEM!!!!!!!” He took off in a sprint, ahead of all the other adults, and got there just as they were about to pull the entire fountain out of the pond.
4. Stella’s Ballerina Dance Party included a craft activity. Crafts are not K & O’s strong suit. The activity was ‘Make Your Own Magic Wand.’ O.k., I admit, basically, on the sly, I made them each a wand. It was just easier that way. Neither of them could have cared any less about participating in this and both wanted nothing to do with it. When I had finished making them, they each danced around with theirs for all of two seconds before the Ballet Teacher running the show announced that “all the children should carefully place their wands on the studio floor.” While other kids delicately put their wands down K & O nonchalantly tossed theirs into the heap. But later in the party the wands were suddenly important because the Ballet Teacher announced that “all the children should now find their magic wands!” I knew K & O would have no clue which wands were theirs. But of course, eager to find out what was next, they ran faster than any other child and got to the pile first, snatching up the first two wands they saw. Running back to the teacher they were passing all of their friends still on their way to the wand pile. Two of whom began crying out, “He has my waaaaaaand!!!!” Trying to divert disaster, I jumped up, ran out to the center of the studio floor, grabbed the wands from K & O and gave them to the two kids to whom they belonged. As we walked back to the wand pile, one boy on either side of me, my hands tightly grasping one of each of theirs, Kyle was saying to me, “I’m sorry Mommy, I just didn’t know what wand was mine because YOU made it for me.” “It’s o.k. Ky Ky,” I said, “but,” (we were getting close to where the parents were all sitting), “please whisper!” Miraculously he obliged, whispering repeatedly, “I didn’t know because YOU made it!”
5. At Amelia’s party there were juice boxes for all the kids. You’d think this would have been exciting enough. But no. At one point we caught Owen strolling around Amelia’s house, chugging from a can of Pepsi. We’ll never know how he got his hands on it, or where it came from. But Braydon confiscated it ASAP.
6. Stella’s party, being in a dance studio, was quite self-contained. I guess I got a little confident about it for awhile there because I got caught up in conversation with another mom and lost track of where K & O were. When I realized they were nowhere to be seen I frantically started searching the building. I found the two of them alone together having a grand old time in the women’s bathroom playing with the soap/water/water faucet/sink.
7. At most of the birthday parties we attend the kids do not open their presents while at the party, but instead wait until everyone is gone. This was how it was being done at Amelia’s party. They had quietly tucked away all the presents in the corner of a room that was set away from the festivities. About mid-way through the party Kyle came to me telling me that he wanted Amelia to open our present and asking where it was. I told him “No, Amelia is opening them all later and I don’t know where the presents are.” About five minutes later, while all the other kids and parents were in the family room and kitchen, I caught Kyle alone with Amelia at the dining room table — with our wrapped present on the table between them. He was gently sliding it across the table toward her, trying to convince her to open it. She, being the good girl that she is, was refusing. He was all sweet and batting his eyelashes saying, “Please Amelia, you will see, it is music instruments inside, you neeeeeeed to open it nooooooooow.” I got there before she caved to the pressure.
8. At Stella’s party, as a party favor, her mother gave out beautiful silver musical wands that chime when you tap them on things. Each kid got one. They were really sweet and cute favors. At one point, while everyone was still eating cake, I caught Kyle and one of his friends Lydia in cahoots together, rolling with laughter, in the dance studio, banging their wands so hard that they’d ring super loudly (i.e., not ‘chime’ but ring super loudly), against the mirrored walls. They were hitting the wands to the mirrors so hard I was sure they were going to scrape the mirrors. I ran in there just in time.
9. Amelia’s party included a ‘Decorate Your Own Cupcake’ activity. K & O thought this was just spectacular. Braydon and I looked at each other in panic when we saw the ‘decorations’… which included neon pink sugar sprinkles. All the other kids carefully and neatly sprinkled some sprinkles on their cupcakes. When Owen got a hold of the container he literally squealed with glee, held it up high, then — before B or I could get there — wildly dumped the whole entire thing onto his little cupcake, shaking the container like a madman. Neon pink was everywhere. “OOOPSIE DAISY!” he said with sheer thrill in his eye. A nearby mother looked at me and said cheerily, “Luckily most of it just went onto his plate!” (This was a very generous statement on her part.) Just then Owen went to pick up the plate (why? I don’t know), and I got there just in the nick of time to grab the whole thing from him. (By the way, he then proceeded to carefully and methodically lick all the pink sprinkles off the cupcake, then left the rest of it on his plate.)
10. Stella’s party included a big white cake, outlined in pink, in the shape of ballet slippers. When the cake appeared, Owen told me that he thought it was “BEAUUUUUUUUUUTIFUL!!!” When he got his hands on his piece of cake he proceeded to meticulously lick all of the frosting off of it, leaving the now-very-soggy cake part on his plate and declaring, loud enough for everyone to hear, “MOMMY! I LOOOOOVE THE WHITE!!!!!!” Stella’s mother offered him a second piece and I let him have one, after which he declared again, “MOMMY! I LOOOOOVE THE WHITE!!!!!!” He of course asked for a third piece. I said no. He whined. Then that was it. Or so I thought. Later, when all the kids had left the cake room and were dancing in the adjoining studio, I noticed that Owen was missing. I quietly left to look for him. And found him walking around the cake table from plate to plate licking “the white” off of anyone’s cake that had left any. I scooted him back into the studio before anyone else noticed.

“When I be 36, I’m going to do something dangerous. I’m going to swing off a big huge cliff… Rock on!” –Kyle, tonight at dinner