Today it was 75 degrees here and we got to have our supper on the deck for the first time since last fall! It feels like spring is in the air!…
…cheers!
…cheers!
…CHEERS!!!
…cheers!
…CHEERS!!!
…cheers!
…CHEERS!!!
I try to not get too edgy or uptight about adoption talk and adoption lingo and adoption issues. I understand it is a sensitive subject for a lot of people, and I understand that the whole subject often gets people bent out of shape. So I’ve tried to develop a really thick skin and generally I try to just let stuff roll off of me. I usually succeed. But today I got an email from Adoptive Families magazine and I just can’t keep my mouth shut about it. We have been subscribers to Adoptive Families (click here) since we first decided to adopt in January 2004, and we’ll remain subscribers. But this email today really, really bugs me because it is reinforcing a stereotype that is so incredibly prevalent.
The email was a special supplement for subscribers — a “Guide” called “Talking to Your Three-to-Five Year Old About Adoption.” I was totally interested in what it would say; right now this is becoming a big topic with Kyle and Owen and I am anxious to learn as much as possible about how to do this (i.e., how to talk with them about adoption). Of course, we’ve been talking about adoption in our house almost daily since Day One. But, still, I’m always anxious to learn more.
The “Guide” is three pages long. It has a two paragraph introduction, then it lists questions your young child might ask with the answers that the experts at Adoptive Families magazine recommend you give. O.k. Sounds great! So, I eagerly start reading.
The very first #1 question, right at the top of the page: “Why wasn’t I born in your tummy?” Answer: “Your dad and I couldn’t make a baby but we wanted a baby to love and take care of very much. You were born from your birthmother’s tummy, and then Daddy and I adopted you. I wish you’d been born in my tummy too.”
Then, the “Guide” emphasizes, in talking with our young children about their own adoptions, we should “Say It Simply”… Specifically, the experts say, we should say this: “Sometimes a woman can’t grow a baby, so she adopts a baby.”
????? O.k., I get it that many couples adopt because of infertility… but *definitely* not ALL of us?! Get a clue Adoptive Families magazine, get a clue.
Owen has been doing so well with the potty that we decided he’s ready for “Pull-Up” diapers. I made the big announcement the night before last: “Owen! You’re doing so good going poopie on the potty!!!Do you want to try pull-ups??!!!!” With huge wide eyes (kind of like the ones in this picture!), he said: “Pull-ups?! YES!!!!! YES YES YES!” So, yesterday after daycare I took the boys to the store and we made a big production out of buying pull-up diapers for Owen. Huge deal folks, huge deal. We discovered a brand of pull-ups that have the cars characters from the movie Cars on them! And we discovered a brand of pull-ups that have Bob the Builder on them! We bought both. Owen was beyond excited by all of this. Kyle, on the other hand, in typical Kyle fashion, shows zero interest in going poopie on the potty (peepie is no problem, it is the poopie that he flatly refuses to even attempt on the potty). He shows no signs of potty pooping any time soon —- even if that means he gets no pull-ups. And if the past couple days are any indication, he’s apparently 100% satisfied just wearing the same old Pampers Cruisers he’s been wearing since he was 8 months old (just in larger and larger sizes the bigger he gets). We’re hoping that once Kyle actually sees Owen wearing the pull-ups, and sees how fun and cool and big-boyish it is to wear the super duper Cars-and-Bob-the-Builder pull-ups that maybe this will provide at least some sort of incentive (since gobs of praise and clapping and singing and jumping up and down and hershey kisses clearly don’t pull any sway whatsoever with him). But regardless, the real reason for the pull-ups is Owen. He’s all about going on the potty. Loves it. And is so proud of himself. We can’t hold him back just because his brother is happy to trail behind in the potty-training-dust. We don’t afterall, hold Kyle back in the areas of life where Owen is trailing behind in the dust. So, pull-ups for Owen it is. Owen absolutely loved it last night when Braydon got home and he could show Papi his new packages of pull-ups. “Close your eyes Papi!”, he said, and then holding up each package of pull-ups he proudly exclaimed, “O.k., now open your eyes! Look Papi! Pull-ups! Pull-ups for Owen!!!” And before bed last night he carefully chose his first pull-up to wear in the morning to daycare: “Not the Bob the Builder ones,” he said, “THE CARS PULL-UPS!!!” So we laid a pair of the Cars pull-ups on the floor in a special spot so they’d be ready in the morning. “Yes, baby,” I said, “tomorrow you’ll wear the cars pull-ups.” And wear them he did. With much enthusiasm and pride he pulled down his pants the minute we arrived to daycare so that he could show everyone his pull-ups: “Look! See my pull-ups???!!!” he shouted! As much as I’m anxious to get them out of diapers, this is yet another milestone on the path away from babydom… and it is bittersweet.
It is really amazing how much my boys can eat… especially when it comes to pasta. If it were up to them we’d have pasta every night. I try to keep pasta to a 1-2 night per week maximum. But if you ask Kyle — anywhere, any time of day, at any moment — what he wants to eat, he’ll always say “PASTA!” He likes all shapes of pasta; he likes whole wheat pasta, fresh pasta, or absolutely any kind of pasta; he likes red sauces, cheese sauces, garlic and oil sauces, pesto sauces, cream sauces, lemon and butter sauces; he likes filled pastas– ravioli, tortellini, and he likes plain pastas. The boy just really likes pasta. Watching Kyle eat pasta is quite something. People who witness it find it rather shocking. Even though I witness it over and over and over I still find it rather shocking. He can’t shovel it in fast enough. He almost always ends up using both hands to try to manage the pasta and get as much of it as possible into his little mouth as quickly as possible. That boy can put it away. I simply cannot imagine how much pasta I’m going to have to produce in order to keep up with feeding him when he’s sixteen. And Owen, well, he loves his pasta too. But he’s especially fond of the parmesan cheese. Both boys love parmesan — fresh paremesan — the sharper and more aged the better — they particularly love the super-expensive, imported-directly-from-Italy parmesan (is that weird for 2 year olds?!). They’ll eat it in chunks right off the wedge, or they’ll eat it grated — they don’t care how they get it, as long as they get it. But Owen… he verges on parmesan obsessed. I’ve taken to trying to limit his parmesan intake because it just doesn’t seem right to let a 2 year old eat a whole pound of dense, sharp, seriously expensive parmesan. So, now I give it to them grated, and I give it to them pre-rationed off in little bowls. They each get one bowl-full, they can do with it whatever they wish, but once they’ve eaten it all they get no more. Kyle has taken to just pouring the whole bowl over his pasta right off the bat. Owen, however, carefully tries to pace himself by sprinkling a spoonful or two over his pasta then patiently trying to not be tempted into eating the whole bowlful straight up. This works for him… for about two minutes. But his temptation always gets the better of him. By five minutes into the meal (max!) he can’t take it any longer and he just lifts the whole bowl full of freshly grated parmesan to his mouth and downs it.
Lately Kyle and Owen seem to be doing a lot of thinking about our family — who is in our family, who is not in our family, etc. Right now, for them, “our family” = “Mommy, Papi, Kyle and Owen.” For example, if we’re walking somewhere, or if we’re driving somewhere in the car, the boys will often say, “Where are we going?” and Braydon or I will say, “We’re going to the store” (or wherever we’re going). Then they’ll say in response, “Our whole family is going to the store!” and we’ll say, “Yes! Our whole family.” This kind of scenario is happening a lot lately — like, sometimes multiple times a day. Yesterday on our way home from the ocean we stopped at a restaurant for an early dinner. I was holding Owen’s hand as we were walking into the restaurant and Braydon and Kyle were walking in front of us. Owen said, “Mommy, our whole family is going in the restaurant.” I said, “Yes, our whole family.” When we got inside the place was packed with a very racially diverse crowd, including lots of black people. The set-up inside the restaurant was basically one very large open room with many tables throughout. We were seated at a table near a side wall, and Owen’s seat was facing outward, so that he had a full view of almost the entire restaurant. I was sitting next to him. Soon after we were seated, a very attractive and well-dressed black man walked through the center of the restaurant — from the front of the big open room to his table at the back of the room. I noticed Owen noticing him but the man appeared oblivious to Owen. As the man walked past our table (separated by 2-3 tables of diners), Owen, while dramatically pointing at the man, said very loudly, “Mommy, that is not our daddy!” Some people seated around us could hear him, and they turned to look at Owen. I said, “That’s right baby, that is not your daddy.”
Kyle & Owen’s Dreadlocks
Locs. Dreds. Dreadlocs. Natural hair.
Nappy Hair. Perfect Hair. Black is beautiful.
Well, I’m finally going to do it. I’m finally going to blog about my boyz’ hair. I have held off on this for a long time for two reasons: 1) for me, this is a supremely personal and intimate topic, and 2) I really hate to take the risk of being perceived as a white mother who thinks she’s all that because she does her kids’ hair herself [or thinks she’s an expert on black hair because she has some experience with two black kids’ heads]. For goodness sake!– Black women (and men!) have been doing black hair forever! And maintaining two kids’ hair by no means makes me an expert! Pleeeaaaase!!! However, I have to say… that since I started this blog in October questions about K & O’s hair have been streaming in non-stop. And when we’re out and about in the world their hair is by far the biggest subject that people approach us about, question us about, and talk with us about. Hair, hair, hair. All hair, all the time. Since we got the boys in January ’05 black hair has become a major (and I do mean MAJOR) part of my life. And doing their hair has become a major (and I do mean MAJOR) part of my identity as a mom to black boys. So, at the risk of exposing my children and myself too much, and at the risk of having some people out there think I’m a white-girl-who-thinks-too-much-of-herself… Here goes.
I am going to put it out there. My primary motivating factor is this: It turns out that quite a number of white folks who have adopted (or are in the process of adopting, or are thinking about adopting) black kids read our blog. Some of these people would like to loc their kids’ hair and need help, support, advice, information. And I want to support those people and their kids. There are lots of resources out there on the web (just type “dreadlocks” into google and start browsing!!!), so by no means take this post as any kind of expert advice. I’m just a white woman who has learned to do dreadlocks! Having given all those caveats… Here we go!
Katie, Dawnz, and all the rest of you who have emailed me, anonymously contacted me, and posted comments about the boys’ hair on our blog… This one’s for you! 
We had received photos of the boys starting from when they were age two weeks. It was always striking in the photos how — even at age 2 weeks — they already both had very full heads of very nappy hair. I had some experience doing black hair because of the six years we helped care for our special kid-friend in Boston, Maria. And I knew enough about black culture to know how important hair-care is, and how many black people (all over the world!) think that cutting a boy’s hair before he’s one or two is bad luck. I knew that I was going to want to keep Kyle and Owen’s hair long at least until their first birthday. And I knew it was going to be a big undertaking.
When we first got the boys their hair was in bad shape. In their eight months of life their hair hadn’t ever been cut, but hadn’t been well cared for either. It was very dry and brittle. Some of it was breaking off or falling out in places. There were chunks of bald spaces on their scalps. And the back half of Owen’s head was entirely bald. The hair they did have was very long (did I mention, it had never been cut?!?!). Our first job was to revitalize their hair and get it healthy.
In the first year we had the boys, I think we probably tried just about every hair conditioning product out there! (not really, but we tried a lot of them!!) We never really settled on one that we absolutely adored. I started braiding their hair, doing knots on their hair, and doing twists on their hair. I never perfected the art of cornrows. But I had a wonderful student — Jessica Brown — who was a gifted braider! Other than me, she’s the only person outside of Haiti who’s ever braided the boys’ hair. She braided it twice. I absolutely loved how the boys looked with cornrows!
I’d re-do the boys’ hair every 2-6 weeks. In between “styles” we’d leave the hair out and the boys had the cutest little afros you ever did see! But their hair is super kinky, super nappy, super tight. It matts up instantly. If we left it out, it would be napped up within a couple hours. So I kept it braided up or twisted up almost always. Everybody’s favorite “look” was when I’d do the boys’ hair in twists. The boys just looked so cute in them! And I loved the “carefree” and “loose” look of them on the boys. Their first birthday came and went. And I could not even bear to think about cutting their hair. But the boys were getting older and more active and sitting still for hours on end every couple weeks was starting to get real old real fast. So, I started thinking seriously about dreadlocks.
Locs are a big deal. They are permanent. Once you do it, the only way to take them out is to shave the head. Locs involve a lot of work and maintenance. It is a huge commitment. But I loved the idea of dreds for so many reasons. My biggest hesitation was that there are people who think you should not do locs on kids since it is making a permanent decision about their identity for them. I struggled with it and thought about it and talked with a lot of people about it. In the end, my logic went something like this… I want my boys to have natural hair, but I don’t want to shave it; I want my boys to embrace their ‘black is beautiful roots’ (so to speak) and be proud of their gorgeous nappy black hair, but I don’t want to make their life miserable for many hours every couple weeks just for the sake of “beauty”; I love the look of locs… and I love what they can represent (such as pride, embracing blackness, confident identity)… and while yes, of course my boys are too young to make this choice for themselves, as parents we all make all sorts of decisions for our children all the time that reflect our own values/politics/identities. We put our own ‘stuff’ on our kids all the time. It is unavoidable. And, I figured that down the road, if the boys decided to, they can shave their heads and have short hair. Once I started to get really serious about the idea of potentially locking their hair I talked a lot about it with one of my best friends from college, Roxann, who has gorgeous tremendously long locs. She strongly supported me and thought I should go for it. That was just exactly the support I needed. And I decided we were going to loc up the boyz’ hair. It is one of the best parenting decisions we could have made.
Here are the top ten questions I receive, and my answers to them:
1) Who does their hair?
Their mama does!
2) How long have they had locs? / How old were they when they started with locs?
We started Kyle and Owen’s dreadlocks on January 7, 2006. They were exactly 20 months old.
3) Who started their locs? Do you have a loctician?
I started their locs. We’ve never used a loctician.
4) How did you start their locs?
This is a big project and you need to do a lot of research on this! It would take me a long time to try to explain and/or “teach” someone how to do locs. There are lots and lots of different techniques that people use. But basically, we started with twists and just kept twisting. I started with a free-form look (not perfectly spaced, not all the same size, not too tiny twists) because Kyle and Owen are real “boys’ boys” and we did not want the look of their locs to be too “formal” or too “feminine” looking.
5) How do you maintain their locs?
To maintain dreadlocs you have to keep twisting and re-twisting them. About a month or two after starting their locs, I convinced Braydon to help me and taught him to re-twist. Yes! My husband is awesome! He may be the only white dad in America who maintains his twin toddler black boyz’ locs! For the first year we re-twised every week or two. In January of this year, after a full year, we started to go a bit longer- we’re now re-twisting every 3-4 weeks or so. Re-twisting locks (for us, at least) involves washing the hair, and then while it is still wet, using a pomade or wax or moisturizer of some sort and twisting up the hair to the scalp with it. Then we use hair pins to hold the twists tight. Once the whole head is re-twisted we use a hair dryer to dry the hair. Then take the clips out. Ta-da! Hair done! From start-to-finish this process (not including the bath) takes about 45-60 minutes per child. Braydon and I do it together — always on a Sunday night. We each take a kid (we trade off each time because I do a better job of re-twisting, so I rotate between each kid each time). We sit on the floor and the boys eat and watch videos while we re-twist. It has become a major family bonding time for us. We have all four come to actually really like this time together “doing hair.”
Yes! My husband is awesome! He may be the only white dad in America who maintains his twin toddler black boyz’ locs! For the first year we re-twised every week or two. In January of this year, after a full year, we started to go a bit longer- we’re now re-twisting every 3-4 weeks or so. Re-twisting locks (for us, at least) involves washing the hair, and then while it is still wet, using a pomade or wax or moisturizer of some sort and twisting up the hair to the scalp with it. Then we use hair pins to hold the twists tight. Once the whole head is re-twisted we use a hair dryer to dry the hair. Then take the clips out. Ta-da! Hair done! From start-to-finish this process (not including the bath) takes about 45-60 minutes per child. Braydon and I do it together — always on a Sunday night. We each take a kid (we trade off each time because I do a better job of re-twisting, so I rotate between each kid each time). We sit on the floor and the boys eat and watch videos while we re-twist. It has become a major family bonding time for us. We have all four come to actually really like this time together “doing hair.”6) How do you get them to sit still while you do their hair?
Videos, food, lollipops, whatever it takes!!!!!!!! But the truth is that they’ve been having their hair done forever, so they don’t know any different. And they are really pretty good about it!
7) What hair products do you use for their locs? (note: see “P.S.” at the bottom of this post)
I started their dreadlocks with Murray’s 100% Pure Australian Beeswax (note: see *** at bottom of post re: beeswax), and then we re-twisted every week or two with that for the first year. Beginning this past January (a full year after the start of their dreds) we began using BB Maximum Strength Super Gro Conditioner with Vitamin E to re-twist. In addition, every day we put Motions At Home Oil Sheen & Conditioning Hair Spray (the boys’ favorite – they love it because it is a big bright yellow aerosol can and they love the spraying!!), or Kemi-Oyl (my favorite because it is an incredibly incredibly awesome product; I consider it to be “liquid gold”!) in their hair.
8) What other products do you use for their hair and skin?
I have tried tons and tons of products! Seriously, so many!!!! Here I am listing my absolute tried-and-true favorites…
Pre-Locs: Originally, before we started the dreds our goal was to get their hair as healthy as possible. Our favorite rinse out conditioner (in bath, after shampoo) was Dark and Lovely Beautiful Beginnings Conditioner. The best leave-in-conditioner I found for them was Pink Oil Moisturizer Hair Lotion. An airline attendant told me about it once on a plane – she said it was all that she used and all she ever used on her own daughter and it is “the best!” I tried it and instantly fell in love with it (after trying just about every other oil moisturizer out there!!!) We used Pink daily when their hair was “out” (i.e., in a ‘fro). For doing twists (before we started the dreds) my favorite product was Organic Root Stimulator Natural Hair Care Lock & Twist Gel Pre-Mixed Creme Formula. Our absolute favorite product was Just For Me Foaming Braid Release — it worked miracles in helping us with the huge project of taking their braids out!!!
Bath: Kyle and Owen love the bath. In addition to lots of bubble bath liquid (of course!!), to their bath water we add either Ginseng Miracle Wonder 8 Oil or Booth’s Shea Butter Cream Bath. We’re not picky about soaps and use whatever is around.
Shampoo: Absolute best of the best (in my opinion!!!) — Creme of Nature Professional Detangling & Conditioning Shampoo Extra Body Formula. This is all we use now. We are currently washing their hair about once per week.
Skin: Aquaphor Original Ointment on their faces and hands every single night; Queen Helene Cocoa Butter Cream or Queen Helene Cocoa Butter Lotion or Proclaim Cocoa & Shea Butter Lotion all over their bodies every couple of days.
Other: We are dedicated with serious humidifiers in the boys’ rooms that run every night.
9) Where do you buy all of these products?
I buy these at either Sally Beauty Supply, Eckerd Drugstore, or our regular grocery store pharmacy section. In all of these places they have pretty good “black hair and skin care products” sections (at least where we live).
10) How did you learn to do all this? Why did you decide to do locs? Do you have any regrets?
I learned from reading everything I could get my hands on (the internet was super helpful), and talking to everybody I possibly could. I learned that once you start talking openly with black people about black hair and black hair products you can talk for hours and hours and hours about it. I decided to do locs because I didn’t want to cut their hair and I like what dreadlocks represent. I don’t have any regrets. It was really hard last summer because we have a swimming pool and the boys were in it everyday — the chlorine is just HORRIBLE for their hair. That, plus the constant swimming, made keeping up with their locs an incredibly difficult challenge. There were times this past summer that their hair looked so bad that I was embarrassed for people to see it! But the flip side is that they had a great summer swimming in the pool! I seriously considered cutting it then, but we got through that, and I’m hoping that this summer is a little bit better since their locs are so much more dreaded up now. I’m so glad we have done dreads and I now truly cannot imagine Kyle or Owen with any other “look.” It has become so much a part of who they are.
EXTRA) One of my favorite parts about my boys’ dreadlocks is that their hair has never been cut and their life is in their locs ~~~ The tips of their locs are Haiti. Their birthmom touched that hair. The women in the orphanage braided that hair that is now napped up in the ends of those locs. About an inch up their locs is their coming home. In those locs is where we held them in our arms for the first time, and brought them from the heat of Haiti to the depths of a Pennsylvania winter. Their adoption is in there, our attachment, all of our time together, the good and the bad, every vacation and every sick day — it is all in their locs. The thick parts of their locs, close to their scalp, that’s their new growth – literally, and figuratively. I know it is hard for people who don’t understand locs, but for those who do—– well, they just get it. I’ll never have locs myself, but I’m glad I “get it” a little bit.
*** re: beeswax — I would really strongly not recommend using beeswax to start or maintain locs (too heavy/sticky and thus stuff gets caught in/on the locs). However… if you’re starting dreadlocks on a very young child (remember, we started K & O’s locs when they were just 20 months old)… then, in my own experience, you really don’t have a choice but to use beeswax. It is the only thing strong/heavy enough to hold up to the wear and tear of baby boys’ crazy lifestyle. K & O have always been extremely active and physical. They don’t care about keeping their hair pretty. They roll around on the lawn and in the sandbox, they splash like nuts in the bathtub, they wrestle each other like there is no tomorrow, and… when they were 20 months old (all the way up until they were about 2.5) they had a very bad habit of pulling each other’s hair/dreds as a way to lash out with anger/frustration. They also have always loved to touch their own hair and each other’s hair. Also, Kyle and Owen always refused to wear any kind of wrap/cap over their hair at night– so we were/are dealing with them sleeping with their hair freestyle. And, since they are such huge swimmers in the summer, and we have a swimming pool, and we don’t force them to wear swim caps, we’re also dealing with swimming freestyle. All of these things are not conducive to starting dreadlocs. And it is nearly impossible to get a 2 year old (at least our two two year olds) to be careful of their hair, not pull out their locs, not rub their head on the back of their carseat (or high chair, or pillow, or the carpet when they’re wrestling), etc., etc., etc. So… don’t use beeswax if you have a choice. But for us, it was really the only choice. If I was doing it all over again, and on much older kids, I’d choose to start locs with either Carol’s Daughter Loc Butter (click here), or Aveda Humectant Pomade (click here). We’re using the Loc Butter now and we love it (see P.S. below), and I’ve heard wonderful things about the Aveda Pomade for dreds.
P.S. to this post — As of summer 2007 we started using a whole new line of products for K & O’s hair… we bit the bullet and started using the seriously expensive kinds of stuff. And, sad but true: as with most things, you get what you pay for. We’re now full converts to Carol’s Daughter and Aveda. Carol’s Daughter (click here) products are our ***PANACEA***!!! Liquid (or lotion or oil) GOLD!!!!!!! Try it, you’ll like it!!! We’ve tried many, many of the Carol’s Daughter products and have loved them all. We mail-order them from online. Also, as of summer 2007, to shampoo and condition K & O’s hair we’re using Aveda Rosemary Mint Shampoo (click here), and Aveda Damage Remedy Intensive Restructuring Treatment (click here). We have a salon nearby that sells the full line of Aveda products, so we buy them there. But you can also purchase Aveda online. For a related blog post, click here.
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UPDATE as of November, 2007:
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Our current hair-skin-care regiment goes something like this~~~
- Shampoo & condition about once per week using Aveda Rosemary Mint Shampoo (click here), and Aveda Damage Remedy Intensive Restructuring Treatment (click here). [Even if the boys have more baths we normally only wash their hair at most once per week.]
- Carol’s Daughter Some of Marguerite’s Magic Cream Hairdress (click here) on damp hair after bath (even if hair has not been washed during that bath).
- Carol’s Daughter Khoret Amen Hair Oil (click here) every 2-3 nights, on dry hair, before bed [this is especially important for Owen, whose hair has always been much more dry and brittle than Kyle’s].
- Each morning before starting their day, we either spray on Carol’s Daughter Tui Jojoba & Shea Butter Hair Sheen (click here), or smooth on Carol’s Daughter Hair Balm (click here) to K & O’s locs.
- As of now (fall, 2007) we can confidently say that both boys’ hair is finally fully 100% dredded [Owen’s hair, just because of its texture, took quite a bit longer to fully loc up]. Because their hair is completely dredded now, we are currently only fully re-twisting about once every 6-8 weeks or so at most. We sometimes do a little “touch up twisting” in-between just to polish up their locs (maybe only once ever 2-3 weeks or so). For real re-twisting and for our “touch ups” we use Carol’s Daughter Loc Butter (click here).
- Skin— after each bath K & O get lathered up, heavy duty, with Queen Helene Cocoa Butter Body Oil (click here). We also sometimes use Queen Helene Cocoa Butter Creme (click here) between baths. We use Eucerin Aquaphor Healing Ointment (click here) every single night, without fail, on faces and hands before bed.
FURTHER UPDATES:
*** November 23, 2007 we finally trimmed the boys’ hair for the very first time. Click here for post about that.
*** December 7, 2008 we trimmed the boys’ hair for the second time. Click here for post about that.
As of spring 2009~~ Re: hair — At this point we’re using Aveda shampoos and conditioners for washing and conditioning. We wash and condition 1 time per week (maybe 2, at the most, and only if necessary). We’re using only Carol’s Daughter products for loc care… one of the hair oils (like Khoret Amen Hair Oil) after washing and conditioning; the spray on Tui Jojoba & Shea Butter Hair Sheen almost every morning; and the Loc Butter for re-twisting/loc maintenance (which we’re doing about once every 2-3 months at this point). Re: skin — still exactly the same as ‘November 2007’ above.
*** August 23, 2009 we trimmed the boys’ hair for the third time. Click here.
*** October 2010 New Favorite Hair and Skin Product post: Click here.
Some days just feel almost too perfect to be true. A day at the ocean in March just couldn’t have possibly been any more beautiful. And our boys just couldn’t have possibly been any more cute.
This is a great blog that I really like and read regularly. The author is Keith and his son is Devin. Devin is a little bit older than Kyle and Owen, but still Keith’s stories about his antics remind me a lot of my own boys. And I love Keith’s perspective and style. The most recent post, 3/7/07: “This is not an emergency,” is especially poignant. Check it out:
African American Dad Blog: One Good Black Father Among Many (click here)
Today after daycare Kyle, Owen, and I made rice krispie treats. Whoa. What a “treat” to try to “cook” with this pair!!!? (note the sarcasm) I’m not sure if it is the twin thing? or simply a two two-year-olds together in the kitchen thing? or a super high energy boy thing? or just a Kyle-and-Owen thing? But whatever it is… I’ll just put it this way: It took me a LOT longer to clean up our mess than it took for us to make it. I’ve tried cooking with the boys a few times and each time it is the same (today included) — It is a lot of fun, involves a lot of damage control, and it always ends with me deciding that it will be a while before I attempt any cooking with them again.
Mama Braiding Son’s Hair, September 2005Sometimes the saying is true: “A picture says a thousand words.” For me, this is very much the case with this photo. You have to look closely to see all the details, and the photo is slightly out of focus, but the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. So far in my two years of motherhood I have found nothing more mothering-intimate, and nothing more hands-on-loving, than the “doing” of my sons’ hair. For me this photo evokes so much that can’t really be articulated — about our story, about our bond, about our transcendance together, and about a simple act of love that, if done regularly enough, has the power to be a profound mother-child ritual. Happy Love Thursday everyone!
Tonight after supper the boys were playing in the playroom while I was clearing the table.
Kyle: It’s airplane time! Right Owen? It’s airplane time?!
Owen: Yes! It is airplane time!
{they both go to get their toy airplanes}
Owen: Kyle, is this one your airplane?
Kyle: Ummm, yes! It is my airplane!
Owen: Oh! O.k.! Here you go!
Kyle: Thank you very much!
Owen: You’re welcome!
Kyle: O.k. my brother, up in the sky!
Owen: Here we go!
Kyle: Hey, Owen, look! It’s Kyle and Owen inside this airplane!
Owen: Yes! It is!
Kyle: Going so high! Up in the sky!
Owen: Here we go! Up in the sky! So fast! Up in the sky!
Kyle: Hey Owen?! It’s chainsaw time!
Owen: Yes! It is chainsaw time!
{they both drop their airplanes and go to get their toy chainsaws…}
And so it goes… Life with my boys is so good and so sweet!
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