Braydon, my hero, has me a new computer!
Answers to questions from the comments from the last post–
(tomorrow I’ll try to do a real blog post)
Hi Amanda! — Yes! With every single stage and phase of baby Meera (including the entire pregnancy) we (me, especially) find ourselves thinking about where the boys were and what they were doing at her age. I think about it all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. We have a pretty good understanding of where they were and what they were doing — at least from the time they were born until the day we went to get them. As hard as that understanding is, I think that it (the knowledge/understanding) is a good thing — for both us (B & me) and for K & O. Adoption waiting is the worst. The WORST. By far worse for the waiting children than for the waiting parents… but that says a lot because it is just plain horrible for the waiting parents. People who haven’t been through it just don’t get it. Those of you who have been through it, or are currently going through it, you know what I mean when I say this: It pains my heart (pains my heart) thinking about Kyle and Owen in that orphanage for their first eight months. Meera turned 8 weeks old today. Not all orphanages are the same (even in Haiti some are worse than others)… but when K & O were 8 weeks old they were lying in a grungy port-a-crib, in the sweltering heat, not sure when/if they’d get another bottle, not bathed, not held, not loved. It kills me to think about it. It just kills me. But… I like to think about the fact that they had each other. I try to focus on that. They laid there everyday, together. And they lived. They survived. They transcended. They flourished. They thrived. And here they are today — lovin’ on their 8 week old baby sister giving her thousands of kisses every day and asking to hold her. Life is heart-wrenching and amazing and awe-inspiring. What a big, wide, wonderful (albeit screwed up) world we live in. So, yes, I do think about where the boys were and what they were doing. I think about it all the time. Thanks for asking about this Amanda. I hope to blog more about this sort of subject — including thoughts/feelings on adopted vs. bio kids — down the road (hopefully not in the far too distant future).
Zahara asked about the stares and comments we’ve received since having Meera with us… As always, some people do ask questions, most just stare. Unless people say things to us we ignore them. Children are the best — they just put it out there (which, to Braydon and I, at least, feels much better than coping with the stares and whispers and ‘lets-pretend-we’re-not-gawking-at-them’ that we get from most adults). This past weekend, for example, a little girl exclaimed out loud to her parents: “Look! The baby is white and they are black!!!!!” I like that kind of thing because it just opens it up wide open. Children, we find, tend to just be curious and that’s really cool and fun. Adults often just stare — and that is uncomfortable sometimes. Sometimes we get a bad vibe and that is really uncomfortable. People sometimes ask questions or make comments, and that is almost always a good thing. Another example from this past weekend — We were having lunch at a restaurant and I took Owen into the bathroom. As we were washing our hands a middle-aged white woman at the sink next to us said to me: “You have such a cute family!” I said, “Thanks!” She said, “I was looking at your baby earlier and she’s so cute and alert, and your boys are just adorable.” I said, “Thank you!!” And that was that. I thought this was really, really cool. It felt very supportive and positive without feeling at all fake or weird. Often I think people want to say something — and want to say something positive — but they just don’t know what to say and I felt like that woman had figured out a great thing to say. Just last week my mom was telling me that she was at an amusement park with my niece and it was an entirely white crowd. She noticed a family of white parents and black kids. She wanted so much to say something supportive and positive to them (especially given that they presumably felt a little weird about it being soooo white there), but just didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to come across as weird. We were talking about it on the phone and I couldn’t think of what she could say that would be perfect. And then just a couple days later I had that encounter with that woman in the restroom—- I think saying “You have such a cute family!” is just the perfect thing to say. I plan to say something like that to families similar to ours when we see them in the future (as rarely as that is).
Anonymous said — “Okay, so fess up: what’s in the delicious looking salad (including dressing)?” Well, here’s the deal… If I do this then you have to make yourself not anonymous (I hate anonymous comments!!!) and trade me one of your great recipes that you’re eating this summer. Acting on faith that you’ll live up to your end of the bargain, here goes:
Braydon and I love salads and I tend to make up a great salad idea and then make it over and over until we’re sick of it. The salad picture is of our current salad fixation. We’ve eaten it several times already this summer and just yesterday when I was food shopping I bought all the ingredients to eat it again this week. The boys love it too. I just made it up so I don’t have any measurements or anything, but here you go:
* Lay a down a bed of nice baby greens on a platter
* Toast a couple handfuls of pecans (‘toast’ = place in dry pan over hot stove until they are browned). Put toasted pecans on greens.
* Add on a couple big handfuls of fresh blueberries
* Add on crumbled goat cheese (getting good quality goat cheese is key to making this salad awesome!)
* Drizzle with good extra virgin olive oil
* Drizzle with Litehouse brand Pomegranate Blueberry Vinaigrette (I just discovered this — it is in the cold refrigerated section of the produce area)
* Sprinkle with kosher salt and fresh ground pepper
* Note: I would also add thinly sliced red onion to this salad… (I’m just not adding onion this summer because Meera seems to have a bad reaction when I eat onions so I’m avoiding them at all costs!)
* Serve with crusty baguette and white wine!
