Good Riddance February Funk

Dear February 2011,  So long! Farewell! Happy to see you go! We can’t kick you out the door fast enough! Goodbye!…   wait, wait, wait, haven’t I written this exact post before?? Oh, yes, it turns out I have—at this same exact time last year. So, basically, ditto to just about every single thing in that entire post. Whoa. Can a life that feels as never-a-dull-moment-ish as this one truly be that mundanely cyclically pathetically predictable????? Can Seasonal Affective Disorder effect a whole family unit? All I know is that we are so done with February.

It started like this (how did I get such stereotypically boys’ boys???):

(don’t worry, they did not get hurt… they almost never do… knock on wood.)

And it ended like this (how did I get such a stereotypically girl’s girl???):

(don’t worry, we are currently reading Cinderella Ate My Daughter… hopefully that will give us some guidance on raising her?)

So, yeah, those two photos were two of our relatively nicer moments. And at least all the snow has melted. But just about everything else in between was blah and February funkish. Here is my Top Ten Things I Hated Most About The February Funk of 2011:

1. snow days gallore
2. wiping 3 – otherwise cute, but in February totally snot-covered – faces over and over and over and over again
3. constantly running out of Kleenex. constantly.
4. K & O’s growth spurts that always seem to collide with the dead of winter… thus cabin fever isn’t just cabin fever, it is Cabin-Fever-With-Constant-Incessant-Never-Ending-“Mommy-I’m-Hungry”’s from the time they wake up until the time they go to bed. I swear, when they see me, day or night, they immediately say “Mommy I’m hungry.” It is like a conditioned response. Pavlov’s dogs. I swear.
5. my obsession with the subject of “How Can I Fit In Exercise When I Can Barely Fit In Brushing My Teeth?” which seems to get profoundly worse in the deep dark icy days of winter when daylight hours are fleeting and work is at a fever pitch and hardy heavy meals and glasses of red wine are at their finest. I find myself dreaming of living in a place where we can ride our bikes and go for walks and swim outdoors year-round.
6. the gross sticky-sweet smell of the made-for-children liquid-form heavy-duty antibiotics, and the strange breathing sounds that come from the at-home pediatric nebulizer. need I say more?
7. the palest of pale skin on three of us; the driest of dry skin on two of us. nothing seems to help when it is deep into February. and to be honest, I’ve pretty much given up and am now just waiting for spring to fix it all.
8. laundry. of the heaviest, bulkiest kind. I cannot wait for the coming days of shorts and t-shirts and little size 3T sundresses. Yes, it gets dirty, and yes, they still go through at least a couple of changes of clothes on most days. But, you can fit a lot of that stuff into our washer and dryer. corduroys and sweaters and turtlenecks and snow-pants… not so much. the laundry is just overwhelmingly endless around here. I know I only have three, and I shouldn’t complain, but seriously, the laundry is just overwhelmingly endless around here.
9. twin boys age 6 = double the obnoxious inappropriate so-not-funny “potty talk” and the burping-farting-obnoxiousness that dominates this particular (6 year old boys) segment of the population. It is bad anytime… but I swear that the caged-in-cabin-fever-snow-days-shortened-daylight-days-of-February make it clinically, empirically, absolutely worse during this time of year. I don’t care how “normal” it is, I so do not find it funny.
10. snow days gallore. I know I already said that. which leads to number 10b: the constant mind-numbing sensation that my mind is going numb, which is totally mind-numbing. Call it what you will– ‘mommy brain’—or whatever (by the way, they say that “mommy brain” is not a factual reality, and that indeed women’s brains actually grow stronger – not weaker – upon becoming mothers), but speaking only for myself, personally, I swear my brain is mush. Mush I tell you!!! And by the end of the February Funk… it is even mushier mush. Yes, mushier mush. That’s how mushy it is. Just plain mush.

Good riddance February. Don’t come back any time too soon— you hear? We will gladly savor the eleven months between now and the next time you roll through. You may think you have toppled us…

…but oh how you have not!!!!!!!!!!!! You do not have us beat! We do not lay low for long! We are here and ready, eagerly chomping at the bit to take on that roaring lion of March! We’ll take the March Madness over the February Funk any day! Bring it on baby! Tomorrow is a new day!