As a result of the Lehigh Basketball games we’ve been going to, and the Michael Jordan IMAX film that we saw in Baltimore a couple weekends ago, our three bambinos are seriously inspired. For better or for worse, they see what they see and attempt to enact, re-enact, create, and re-create it. The details are important to them. K & O’s shorts must resemble the basketball uniforms as closely as possible (only certain sports’ shorts in their closet will do). Meera determines that her tutu bathing suit is the thing that she owns that most closely resembles an actual cheerleader’s uniform. The boys tuck their Lehigh shirts into their shorts now (just like the basketball players do). M insists that I put her hair in a high ponytail with big bow (“like a cheerleader!”). K & O want to do jump shots and lay ups and slam dunks (and I keep duck taping the plastic basketball hoop back together every time that they break it. they are thrilled with it every time it is re-fixed.). Meera desperately wants pom-poms (and I do the best I can – again with the duck tape – to make her some using old party streamers. she is thrilled with them). It is all so endearing and scary and cute and unnerving all at the same time.
Hi!
Oh my!! I hope this doesn’t offend you. While reading this post Heather, I was thinking exactly what you summed up in your final remark “It is all so endearing and scary and cute and unnerving all at the same time.”.
Child’s creative play is enchanting, it’s wonderful to see how real-life events and experiences are seen through a child’s eye and re-enacted and re-created over and over again. That said, it is also somewhat unnerving when gender-stereotypes which are prevalent in society are re-enacted in child’s play and thus perpetuated. I believe (not being a parent myself, and granted parenthood may change my sociological viewpoints) it is important for children’s horizons to be broadened through real-life experiences and events and this is a very good way to parent in an anti-oppressive practice. It is also important to freely allow children to play without putting “adult concepts” into a child’s perspective before he or she is old enough to comprehend the issues and form their own opinion about the topic. (For example banning Barbie dolls from the household because the dolls sexually objectify women and promotes an unrealistic idea of body image for a young woman).
Sounds like your bambinos are having a whale of a time and glad your duct tape is getting well used!!!
– Kate
Kate,
I don’t know if you’ve been following this blog very long, but Heather and Braydon have tried as hard as anyone possibly could to avoid stereotypes of any kind. What I find incredibly funny (being a feminist myself) is the fact that at age 18 months, yes, 18 months, Meera determined that she was going to be typically feminine, insisting on choosing her own clothes with ruffles, skirts, pink, etc. despite the fact that her parents are LLBean types themselves. Absolutely no one encouraged her in this direction.
The boys have worn pink tutus themselves while wildly riding bikes which is also a very funny sight. There’s nothing Owen likes better than holding a baby.
There’s probably a lesson here somewhere. No idea what.
Hi Gail and JMs,
Oh no, sorry I wasn’t clearer. I have said previously in response of other posts (I should have been more explicit here too, sorry) that I really am in awe of Heather and Braydon’s parenting styles and how they actively provide their children with a diverse range of experiences and real-life events that are broadening their horizons. In addition, they are providing them with a safe space to explore and negotiate their interpretations of the events, and role stereotypes and whatnot. Yes, I remember Heather and Braydon’s posts about gender-bending and how the boys love to race around driveway with baby dolls in strollers one minute and then they’re riding on trucks the next (and how their neighbours find it “odd” but as parents H&B are confident in their parenting – and so they should be!). And I remember Heather commenting how she never imagined she would be allowing so much pink, glitter, stereotypically girly stuff for her own daughter in her own house but children change you. Children have their own wills and ways.(and I can completely believe that). Anyway, in short, what I meant was “I think I totally get what your last line means Heather (perhaps I’m way off??) and you both are amazing parents raising your kids through allowing them freedom of expression, broadening their horizons and challenging societal role stereotypes! So kudos to you all!!”.
– Kate
Kate– Just so you know, I totally understood your comment. I know you’re a long-time reader and I know that you “get” us.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Heather
You better watch out. My mom said I was a fanatic about basketball at their age and when I turned 7, she saw me shimmy 10ft to the top of the basketball goal and sit on the rim until the adults let me play with them. I have photos of myself playing full court with grown men wearing a pink leotard, shorts and 5 wristbands…talk about style.