I took the day off today to have some time at home while the boys are in school – I need to do final preparations in getting things ready for the their birthday on Sunday. Just a few minutes ago Braydon and Meera left to run an errand. They took my car. After they had pulled out of the garage and driven off I had to run a load of trash out to the barrel. In a frenzied rush to try to get about a million things done I ran through the garage, tossed the trash in the barrel, and then headed back. As I stepped into the garage I noticed chalk on the floor… Owen’s handwriting… “Home is where the heart is.” I stopped dead in my tracks. It literally took my breath away. And for a split second everything in the world of my little home and family – and I mean, everything – suddenly felt clear, centered, and exactly wholly perfectly balanced. It was a flood of a huge feeling and it was fleeting, but it felt amazing.
For years I’ve had a simple wooden painted sign hanging in Owen’s bedroom. It says, in plain letters, “Home is where the heart is.” Before he could read he’d sometimes ask me what it says, and I’d read it to him. When he was first learning to read, he’d practice sounding out the words on the sign. But mainly, it has just hung there. Apparently, slowly but surely sinking in to my little man. My little man who is so challenging in his constant-motion-and-pushing-of-every-boundary-and-testing-the-limits-24×7. My little man who wouldn’t even allow me to hold him when we first met him, because he was traumatically afraid of all women. My little man who pushed me to make myself go further than I ever thought I could in order to attach with him. My little man who makes me laugh, but also makes me cry in frustration, often.
And there it was in the garage, right where my car sits. “Home is where the heart is.” What a gift.
I’m going to take a few days off from the blog in order to focus right in on my twin bambinos who are turning seven on May 8th and their little sister who is already insanely jealous in anticipation of their big day. I’m going to be doing absolutely nothing other than making my boys’ birthday a special occasion. Home is where the heart is.