Warning: this post very well may offend some people – particularly if you love The Jersey Shore (which many, many people do, particularly around where we currently reside). Please just skip reading this post if you’re a JSL (Jersey Shore Lover).
Despite the fact that we love the beach and it is the closest ocean/beachfront to us, we’ve only been to “The Shore” a couple of times (note: around our parts “The Shore” refers to ‘The Jersey Shore’). One was summer of 2007 when the boys were Meera’s age (click here). Another was in March of 2010 (click here). Both of those experiences were pretty good, but neither of them were on a weekend at the height of summer. We’ve always been too afraid to attempt a day at the beach in New Jersey on a weekend at the height of summer. It has a reputation. Not a good reputation. We were scared off. And for good reason.
That all changed this past weekend. We were motivated to go, and we went. To make a long story short (we had plans with good friends from Delaware to meet at the beach to spend the day together, one of their kids got sick and they had to back out, and we J-Ms decided to go it alone)… we spent Saturday (during a heat wave in the middle of July) at Sandy Hook beach on the coast of New Jersey.
One thing we learned: despite our valiant efforts to be glass-half-full/optimistic/bloom-where-you’re-planted/make-lemonade-out-of-lemons people in all circumstances, after our experience Saturday we could not find a way to put a positive spin The Jersey Shore (i.e., we are not always positive-happy-rainbows-and-unicorns people). Another thing we learned: despite our deep desire to not be snobbish about our love-affair-with-the-beach, we have – whether we like to admit it or not – become terribly spoiled rotten where all-things-beaches-are-concerned (i.e., after Turks & Caicos, Virgin Gorda, Anguilla, etc., and most recently, South Carolina… it is impossible to not feel a bit turned off by the contrast of those places with The Jersey Shore; it is sadly true that not all beaches are created equal and once you’ve walked a gorgeous white-sand-turquoise-water beach with nobody but your loved ones in sight, it is pretty hard to keep your chin up as you set up your umbrella amidst thousands of others all within just inches of each other on a not-so-postcardish-strip of designated-swimmable-seacoast). Within five minutes of arriving, Kyle was asking to leave (seriously). Meera wanted absolutely nothing to do with the “dirty rough water” (her words), and struggled to make due with the coarse and grainy sand. Owen was beyond miserable about the state of the horse-fly infestation and was totally annoyed by the fact that I wouldn’t let him eat raw the mussels he kept finding (he was also compulsively obsessed with picking up people’s cigarette butts and kept pointing out to us how many people were drinking beer out of cans). Braydon and I tried hard to make it work but finally admitted to each other that we basically thought the whole thing was just kind of gross. We put our best foot forward. We really did. But by lunchtime we were all very ready to call it quits and head home. We were so glad our friends weren’t there, because it meant we could just pack up and leave when we wanted to… which was much earlier than we’ve ever left any beach anywhere ever.
The day was still fun in a lot of ways— an adventure that we could bond over (our communal discovery that we really don’t like the Jersey Shore); a road trip (all five of us love a road trip); an excuse to let the bambinos eat Oreos and an opportunity for Dunkin Donuts iced coffee for Braydon and I; and a lot of food-for-thought which prompted many deep and important conversations over the course of that day and the days that have followed.
All in all, though, it was just sort of deflating. And more than anything it reinvigorated us to get planning for our next grand beach vacation—wherever that may be (we’re just sure it won’t be in Jersey).
I lived in Jersey for.. a short while. Could not agree more. yech.
Also- I finally got off my butt and “drew” a winner for offering suggestions to rename my blog and you won. So my public email is the one listed here. If you want to send along your mailing address I’ll send you and your crew some maine goodies (not that you aren’t familiar with maine goodies but…)
My extended family (all 82 of us) go to Ocean City, NJ every other year. Try 59th street beach. It is all the way at the end of the island, the very last beach. Ocean City is a dry town thus no beer can be purchased. I can’t guarantee no horse flies or no other folks enjoying the beach but the sand dunes and sea grass at 59th street are sweet.
Hmmm, try driving further down to beach haven. While, it’s aong way off from the carribean, it’s never been crowded like what you describe. We make the 10-12 hour drive there every year (a relative has a home on long beach island). & I have a hard time believing we are in NJ!
We are Lake Michigan people – husband grew up near the Lake and that is where we vacation. Our kids were in their teens before they ever stepped foot in the ocean. I have never been to Jersey Shore and based on your description, never will go. Crowded, dirty, beer and butt infested places are not “beaches”! But we do know horseflies and I get as miserable as Owen on those days!
Doesn’t seem very appealing but your comment about being spoiled by the beaches you have frequented had me laughing – duh, you think?!?
Hi Heather!
I have not been to nearly as many beautiful beaches as you — but I do love a quiet beach and crystal blue waters and fine, white sands. We do prefer the Jersey shore to some others but we always go middle of week or off season (particularly October when the water is still warm but the temp outside cool enough to scare most people off). We’re headed there in August (mid week). I hope it’s a better experience than you had. We’ll see.
Love & hugs, my friend! Sorry we missed you at the reunion last week!
Kristie
I intensely dislike everything New Jersey and especially the beaches but I had to laugh at all the beaches in all the locales that you have been too…I hope you guys are counting your blessings EVERY day that you have the time off and the resources to do those sorts of trips several times a year. For many, the Jersey shore is as good as it gets, cigarette butts and all.
Norah— yes… believe me, we are counting our blessings EVERY day, and yes… for many the Jersey shore is as good as it gets— these are just two of several conversations that I was referring to when I wrote about how our Jersey shore experience gave us “a lot of food-for-thought which prompted many deep and important conversations over the course of that day and the days that have followed.” Thanks for reading, Heather
Ack! Sadly I know those beaches only too well…here in Singapore (an island surrounded by water thus we have quite a number of coastline beaches as well as Sentosa beach – which has been “person-made” pristine idyllic sand beach) quite a few local coastline beaches are exactly like how you describe. Here we have “Beach Clean-Ups” that my mum helps organised (through her work as at Nature Society – a not-for-profit organisation) and I’ve participated in one, it’s not the most pleasant way to spend a Saturday (as you can imagine what we come across…ugh) but it is satisfying to know that children and families can enjoy a day at the beach without worrying about coming across “unsavoury items”.
– Kate
As a person who grew up on the Jersey Shore, near Long Branch and Asbury Park, I’ll offer you a bit of advice and insight. I’m not really a big beach guy, and I’m not offended but I’ll offer you a few opinions.
As I’m sure you might have heard, there was a whole scandal in the late 80’s with the garbage constantly being dumped from New York City, I’m not gonna go into a myriad of details, but despite the fact that the dumping has subsided, the water is still not it’s best quality, especially in Monmouth County, where I came from. Sandy Hook is very close to Staten Island and the rest of New York, and if you’re looking for a clean beach with nice people, Sandy Hook is not the way to go. It’s more of a historic site with interesting flora and fauna in my opinion.
Essentially, the further south down the shore, the better the water will be. As far as people go, there’s some towns that are friendlier than others. Unfortunately the ones where more of the entertainment is, the less friendly the atmosphere. Seaside Heights and Point Pleasant Beach are two primary examples, someone a few months ago made a remark about my car in the parking lot, but I wouldn’t dare repeat it.
If you go down south toward Atlantic City and Cape May (but not in Atlantic City, or Wildwood), the water will be cleaner and there may be nicer people down there. The litter on the beach might still be an issue though, as New Jersey is the most densely populated state in the nation.
Such beaches as Long Beach Island, Lavallette, Ortley Beach, Avalon may have made for a better experience.
I hope this helps. I’m sorry you didn’t have a nice time here, if I knew you were coming, I would’ve emailed you before then.