Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. We’re back to bribery Earning Charts to deal with bedtime modify behavior.
If truth be told, at this point, Kyle typically has no issues with bedtime behavior. He’s our spirited little eager beaver Type-A perfectionist. He aims to please (often to a fault), and please he does (at least when it comes to going-to-bed). Owen and Meera, however, have no problem making up for at least their’s plus their brother’s fair share of bad-bedtime-behavior. So, mainly for their sake (and especially for Owen’s sake, who continues to struggle with bedtime in a big way), we’ve resorted to pulling out the big guns once again: The J-M Bedtime Behavior Earning Charts. In exchange for a full week of “good bedtime behavior,” the bambinos can earn “something extra fun” on the the weekend.
First up in in 2012, getting to choose the week’s earned activity on behalf of the threesome: Owen. He announced right at the start of the week that he wanted to go to the climbing wall. Going to our local indoor rock climbing gym in the dead of winter has been one of our favorite cold-weather activities since the boys first climbed four Januarys ago (click). So, after a week of working his tush off at bedtime, Owen’s goal of a rock-climbing trip came true.
Owen was psyched! As was Meera (who climbed, for real, for the first time ever — at precisely the same age that her brothers first climbed). Turned out that Kyle, however, in a strange twist (he’s usually The Fearless One), was really nervous. The climbing became not just a great Earning Chart reward, but also a great learning experience for all three bambinos. Owen got to feel gratified for earning something for him and his siblings that he had worked very hard for; Meera got a huge self-confidence boost by doing something most 3-year-olds would never attempt (or get the chance) to do; and Kyle got to experience the satisfaction of putting himself out there and conquering a fear. And for us as parents… it was just so great to stand back and watch the three of them climb.
Wow that’s looks like a ton of fun! Do parents get to climb too? So do all your kids need to have perfect bedtime behavior to earn this group outing, or is the choice of the outing more of the prize than the outing itself? Like what if Owen did great with bedtime but Meera didnt, would Meera still get to participate in the outing? We find its been hard to reward as a group because lately it’s rare in our household for ALL 5 of them to “earn” behavior points at the same time. We have been giving one on one time/rewards instead. Just curious how you handle things. Always open to ideas here!
Ashley, First of all, “perfect” bedtime behavior is not required — ever — in ou family. Us five are never perfect, and it is never expected that any of us would/should be. Our expectations for bedtime are simple: no egregious “acting up” or blatantly manipulative delay tactics. If they behave well (within reason), every night, then they get to participate in the “super duper fun extra special” weekend activity. We rotate who gets to choose the activity each week. But they all want to participate, no matter what it is, because nobody wants to be left out. If any of them screw up, they don’t get to join in on the weekend outing. But we use the earning charts sparingly enough that they seem to have a huge impact. The last time we did earning charts was a year ago— we tend to have issues this time of year: before the holidays (excitement), and then again transitioning back into the groove of things post-holiday-break (plus, it is the dead of winter and we’re sun-deprived). We only pull out the earning charts when absolutely necessary to help get us all back on track (they help mommy and papi as much as they help the bambinos— we need to keep ourselves in check in terms of expectations/consistency/working-hard-to-not-spend-the-whole-night-yelling).
Hope this helps to clarify.
Thanks for reading,
hbj
Way to go Kyle, Owen and Meera!!! Looks like fun, great photos
– Kate
Go Meera! it’s cool to see her participating in something like this with her brothers.
What fun and great pictures! I want to see them climb sometime!