Not Even Scratching the Surface

I have about 45 different blog posts, all semi-composed in my mind, all substantial in content, all ready to be posted, but just waiting in the wings of my mind while life whirls ahead zooming and spinning and chugging and speeding at full capacity — making it impossible for me to squeeze in time to actually write them down. I wait for little cracks in the pace, little windows of opportunity to blog. But they don’t come. Time comes— these days Braydon and I have true chances to sit and take a breather (which we do), and we understand the importance of savoring each and every second of that time (which we do), and we know that choices we have made recently have freed us a little bit (which we are grateful for). But, still, the time to blog — I mean, blog for real — just slips by. Which results in me feeling — at times like this — that I’m not even scratching the surface of the “real” that is our life. It would be ok if I felt like I was barely scratching the surface— that I can deal with. But it is when I feel like I’m not even scratching the surface at all that it feels like a lost cause. Now is one of those times.

Why do I blog at all if I can’t even get to the “real” of it? I’m not entirely sure.

All I know is that somehow I feel compelled to try to capture a slice of it— a tiny slice of life— if even only a thin, tiny, skimming the top of the surface, slice— so that I can somehow get it down and have a place to hold it in my grip. Someday, maybe, I (or we?) will have time to sit and read all this and maybe it will help me (or us?) to remember. Remember the sheer intensity of it, the depth of it, the substance of it — even though so often the posts are just gliding over the actual topography.

This is just a quick, catch-up post. I am an eternal optimist, so I’m always hopeful that one of these days I will be able to write in more depth and get down those 45 different blog posts that have much more meaning than this one. In the meantime, I have to do what I can to try to capture the tiny slice above the surface.

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Meera never complains about having to go to all these sporting events. She is such a good little sister to do what she does so graciously.

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Saturday morning Kyle decided to practice his trumpet while sitting outside our dorm/home for all the world to see/hear. Owen sat next to him, and was either: a) lost in deep thought, or b) totally envious that his own instrument — piano — is so much less portable [i.e., draws so much less attention from potential walkers-by].

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We took a long hike in the “Fairy Forest” that is behind our dorm/home. We have 1,800 acres of woods that abut Sayre Park Village. There are hiking and biking trails throughout, and it is unbelievably beautiful and full of nooks and crannies to explore. It is a major gem of a win for us to have this literally right outside our door. Meera is convinced that fairies live there. We go often and look for signs of fairies in the forest. We see many (signs of fairies), and we leave offerings to them (like flowers in the doors of their houses — see photo below), and we see lots of deer too, and we find many treasures (like huge leaves) along the way. Saturday we took a long walk there and it was ridiculously lovely.

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The campus has become our big huge sprawling backyard. There is so much to do. We must be in the honeymoon phase, or something, because even a lazy Saturday afternoon on campus is rich and full and completely enough to entertain all five of us just the right amount. Saturday we saw a bridal party (the bride was in an exquisite, heavy with fabric and gemstones, pale pink gown; the flowers were to die for) entering the chapel for a decadent wedding. We had smoothies for lunch (at the kind of smoothie place you’d find only in a college town; i.e., not a chain smoothie joint). We (more specifically, three of us) played in a fountain. It was all good.

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Sunday Braydon and Owen had their “First Friday” (which we should really re-name, since we’re really not sticking — at all — to it being on Fridays). While Kyle, Meera, and I ran errands, Owen and Braydon had Owen’s favorite meal for lunch: Hibachi (salmon teriyaki) at Kome…

…then they went back to campus for a piano concert by Emi Kagawa, which Braydon is still raving about. Apparently, on their way out of the arts complex, they ran into the Step Team rehearsing. Picture bottom right is of Owen, crouched in the doorway, watching them practice. (Side-note that I don’t want to forget: then, tonight, on campus, on our way back home after dinner in the dining hall, we ran into a few of our favorite members of the Step Team. They came inside with us for a quick visit, and proceed to gift us with an impromptu [thanks to Owen’s urging] private Step Show for us in our very own apartment! This little Step performance was about 3 minutes long, but it made my day [maybe my week?], and it was yet another moment when I was struck by the unique and amazing opportunity that we’ve been given to live the life we are currently living.)

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Also this weekend, the bambinos caught Gangnam Style fever. In a big, big way! They’d watch the video over and over again a trillion times, if we’d let them.

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Tonight was Lehigh’s annual Take Back the Night march. It ended at Sayre Lodge, right outside our front door. The bambinos, of course, were curious as to what the several hundred students were doing out there. We got them ready for bed, got Meera to sleep, and then Braydon and I took turns taking K & O out (in their pjs/bathrobes) to see what was happening. It was a good introduction to some very basic concepts of gender violence, violence against women, and violence-related-trauma.

We intentionally barely scraped the surface, but we did scrape the surface just enough to make us feel good about some early steps on our journey to trying to raise two healthy, whole, mindful, sensitive, caring, conscious, concerned men. There are certain aspects of raising two very big, strong, muscular, self-confident, charismatic, black males that aren’t always easy. Tonight we were grateful for a gathering, right outside our door, that helped us, together, to be more aware and thoughtful of one very tough part of life in this world.

So, there it is. Not even scratching the surface, but it is the best I can do for now.