Nerf Shootout on a Saturday Night in Sayre

Ok. So. After 9 years, I finally broke down, caved, and gave in to the Nerf Gun. It felt sort of like when I broke down, caved, gave in, and bought a Barbie for the first time for Meera. It felt like everything I ever thought I’d uphold as a parent (feminism! nonviolence!) had suddenly come crumbling down. It felt monumental and anticlimactic at once. In some sense, it felt like a huge disappointment (‘Why can’t I be stronger in the face of the entire culture? What is wrong with me?’). At the same time, it felt like a huge relief (‘PHEW!!!! Why did I hold out for so long? I should have just done this years ago! Look! See? I can be a feminist and nonviolent parent AND buy nerf guns and Barbies’). [Can we? I don’t really know.] But, by the time we got to the car, in the parking lot of Target, what was done was done, the past was behind us, and I had let go of every internal moral conflict over the matter that I had ever had. Once I turn corners, I tend to not look back. ‘You know what?’, I rationalized in my own mind, ‘I did a good job of holding out as long as I did; they understand now why I’m against this stuff; and they’re now able to explore this on their own, knowing full well where their mother stands on it.’ All of this was running through my mind as I eyed Kyle, in the seat next to me in the car, holding the nerf gun package on his lap, with a look on his face that could only be described as “Absolutely Triumphant.”

Owen and Braydon were away this weekend for their Fabulous First Friday. So, I was alone with Kyle and Meera. We had a fabulous time ourselves (as those of us left at home for our “First Fridays” usually do), with a very fun playdate with school friends yesterday, followed by running errands (Owen hates shopping, but neither Kyle nor Meera mind it much). They had been so good, and I was in such a good mood. The nerf gun thing had been a long time coming, Kyle had mastered his argument slowly and steadily over time, and had recently convinced me to open a crack in the door of the matter. We were in Target, and I figured, ‘There is no better time than the present.’ And so, we did it. We bought the thing (well, to be precise: we bought 2, so that he and his brother could play with them together).

I am terrible at following directions, and at putting things together. So, in our family, tasks like putting-together toys out of the box always fall to Braydon. I had known Kyle would be disappointed to have to wait until Papi and Owen’s arrival home the next day, but I had also known we shouldn’t take any risks of me trying to put together the nerf guns, nor should I be the one to read the directions close enough to figure out how to use them (chances are higher that I’d break the things than actually successfully assemble them or get them to work).

We got back to Lehigh/home, and in a strange twist of fate (it seemed horrible at first, but then I realized the blessing in disguise), I realized upon arrival at our door that I had forgotten my apartment key. Braydon had taken my car on the trip with Owen, I had Braydon’s car, and I didn’t have my usual set of keys. We were locked out. For the first time since moving onto campus, I had to do the dreaded: call the Gryphon on duty, and with full humiliation admit our lockout situation, and request that we be let into our apartment. Luckily for us, the Gryphon on duty just happened to be our beloved Jon. But, to make a long story short, as it turns out we discovered that the Gryphon keys don’t work for our particular apartment. As a last resort the only option we had was to call Campus Police to come let us in.

While we waited for the police to arrive, Kyle proudly and exuberantly showed Jon his brand new, first ever, still in the box, nerf gun. Jon was beyond excited about this new development (expressing, immediately, his LOVE of all-things-nerf-gun and his THRILL at the idea of nerf gun wars in Sayre). Before I knew it, Jon was putting together the nerf guns, loading them, and giving a full private tutorial to Kyle on the fine art of shooting the things (note: much to my admiration, all without ever even looking at the directions). Next thing I knew, Kyle had one gun, Jon had another, and a full-on Saturday night shootout was occurring in the hallway of the dorm.

And then, of course, the LU Police Officer arrived, ready to open our apartment door for us.

But that was not that. Once the lockout dilemma had been resolved, the officer himself proudly expressed his own excitement at the arrival of a brand new set of nerf guns on campus. And within no time, Jon had turned over his gun to the officer, and my son and the policeman were fully engaged in gun battle. Laughing, and firing, dodging nerf bullets, and re-loading… all in the dorm hallway.

Not your typical Saturday night on campus, nor in our family.

But in a weird roundabout way (as it is with life, it seems, always — always — the unexpected), I must admit: it warmed my heart to see my son playing nerf guns with a 21 year old college student and a campus police officer — all three smiling ear-to-ear. And, I must say: there was something progressive and profound (and again, entirely unexpected) about watching as students, walking through the hall on a Saturday night, got caught in the crossfire between their Head Gryphon, a campus police officer, and their little 9-year-old friend who lives in their dorm. Lots of smiles, lots of laughs, lots of real connectivity (ah the irony! peace! love! happiness!), all around. And I was so glad I had bought those nerf guns.