In order to preserve our privacy, and in order to protect our intimate family intricacies, I can’t allow myself to say too much on this. But I do not want to look back at this blog some day and feel like I 100% sugar-coated our life or completely glossed-over the bumps in the road. I want to remember how hard some of the times were, how tough some parts of parenting were, how the glitches felt so terrible, all the moments of yuck. Tonight I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad night with Owen. I am hitting the wall of stress that slams just right about now in the yearly rhythm of an academic life; and I am tired from the push of the past month to get our family through the major transition out of summer and into a new school for the kids, a new school year for me, another year of living on campus, and… yes… a new puppy. And tonight, after a whole series of my darling and most charming son, Owen, pushing my limits and testing me to the max for the past few days straight, I completely 100% lost it on him. I broke down like only a wildly crazed over-the-edge mother can do. It happens. It was a moment of yuck.
Yes, we have a mostly splendid life. That doesn’t make the terrible moments any easier to get through. We’re just like everyone else — we crash and burn sometimes. And those times can be pretty gruesome. Someday I will look back on these days and remember these years for all the magic that they were. And I’ll also surely remember how tired and pushed-to-maximum-capacity I was. I refuse to complain (most of the time), because our life is just so dang good. But it is not always easy, and we aren’t yuck-less.
Every parent has had those moments of yuck, as you call them. It is a part of life and Owen probably recognizes his role in what happened. I’ve always said that as our kids get older, having a parent support group is more and more important. But unfortunately, as our kids get older, those types of groups become few and far between. Just hang in there. As I read somewhere in an article….he’ll survive, and he knows that you love him.
Sending a big virtual hug. XO
We all have these moments and IT IS OKAY!
Just have the moment and move forward. It will be ok
and everyone of those moments pass. It won’t be the last time
any of us have these days. Hang in there. Iloveu.
big hug!
Oh my goodness….. I have been having the same “yuck”, in fact, several days of none stop “yuck”. Its hard to remember when we are in the “yuck” season, that IT is only a season and it will get better. This is the season God teaches me patience; apparently I have a lot to learn.
My prayers are with you. Thank you for sharing.
Our kids need to know we’re human — good for you that in your inability to be perfect you teach your kids that they don’t have to be either! ((hugs)) – I screw up weekly, I figure I get to teach them about sincere apologies when I owe them one weekly
— This is hard work, you’re doing it! Kenbe fem pa lage.
Please sister! We had a HUGE moment of YUCK the entire hour before we got in the car to come see you and into the first half of the drive. It happens. It’s life. Period. Thanks for the honesty and authenticity. If more people shared the TRUE REAL life moments – like these we’d all feel “good enough”. xoxoxo
Yes, Owen is loaded with charm but he can also be very difficult. He is one of the most complex people I’ve ever met and at the same time one of the most loving. I do believe the love will win out.
Your honesty is refreshing. We have all been there – thanks for sharing this bit with us.
Hugs!
Thanks for sharing! We all have those moments as parents! You do so much and are such amazing parents, hang in there!
Yep, I’ve also had those stressed out parenting days.
I can’t imagine any mama hasn’t ever gone through this. You are certainly not alone. My kids are all so different and I have one who requires a lot more patience from me than the others do. What helps me most in coping during those especially stressful times is taking a “time out” for myself, so that I don’t take out anything on my kids. My husband knows that when I need a break its important for me to be able to go. He’s been wonderful about taking over the crew while I go get a cocktail or coffee or a mani/pedi with a girlfriend. ( I do the same for him when he needs a break) Sometimes all I need is just a couple of hours away and a good vent session with a mama friend who understands. I always come back home with a better and more loving perspective. Hang in there, Heather. Tomorrow is a new day.
We all have our yucky moments. Hang in there, as you seem to have a lot on your plate. Hang in there, as these things will pass.
Totally understand! Tomorrow will be better!
Mmmmmmm. I was wondering why Colin has been so sweet and cooperative the past few days. And as weather generally moves from west to east, the “naughty boy” cloud that was hanging over us last week must have migrated over to the Lehigh Valley. Sorry for that. Some suggestions for those “cloudy” days: ride a bike, have a cocktail, surf the ‘Net for celebrity trivia, have a cocktail; bring Taco Bell home from work & go to bed at 6 p.m. WITH your cocktail.
I think you know, I get what your saying. We’ve all been there. Horrible awful no good very bad oh look I shit on my kid moments. I think one of the things I learned, over the years, of reading your writings- is how- we respond to those moments(afterward), is what matters. Cause, of course, our kids will have those days too. New days bring new light.
I call those human moments. They are not the best human moments, but they are what occasionally what happens in the world when we get too stressed or too over-scheduled or the kids are right on target with the button-pushing. When it happens around here I use the opportunity to show my children the value of apologizing and forgiveness. Everyone has difficult emotions and no one processes them perfectly — the sooner children learn this the better off they will be in managing their own behavior and outbursts. I hope your days get better (and I know they will!)
Wish I could find your salient blog post, but you know this is one of your 3 most challenging times of the year. Still, you brought home a puppy to house train. I, for one, am *so* glad you did bring home a puppy as this will be filed away as a happy time for everyone (except you). But are you sleeping through the night and/or taking turns getting up to take Dash-puppy out? House-training a pupper is a cause for tearing one’s hair out at the roots, even under the best of conditions. Crate train (they take comfort knowing they have their own private space to go to). If your school is training vet techs, reach out for help. Puppy will eventually settle, as will you, but this was not the optimal time.
huggies
Thanks for sharing Heather in such a sensitive and thoughtful manner. All the best for the days to come — hang in there!
– Kate