Owen, Jack, Kyle, Belinda, Meera
Braydon and I met our senior year of college. We went to Colby College, and as our class was planning to graduate in 1994, it seemed that everyone we knew was either: 1) going straight to Wall Street/big-time-right-out-of-college-jobs, or 2) going “out west” to become ski bums until they could figure their lives out. Neither was appealing to me, nor to Braydon; we both knew we’d be applying to graduate school but needed at least a year to do that; and we found ourselves — as sort of the two oddballs out — planning to find something to do, almost by default, together. As I look back on that, I can’t believe that we moved in together right after college. It was very unlike me. But he was my best friend, and we went for it.
We wanted to go someplace completely different than Maine, where we had spent the past four years of college. We were looking for the antithesis of where we were — someplace warm and sweet and right on the beach. We found a map of the eastern seaboard of the U.S., looked at the cities along the coast, and literally — like, literally — picked Charleston (pretty much randomly) off the map. And that was that — it was determined — we’d go spend a year in Charleston, South Carolina. Our plan was to get jobs and spend the year having some fun in a new place and applying to graduate school.
I really wanted to work in a flower shop. I wanted to do something totally different than academia, and I had this romantic notion of the loveliness of being surrounded by flowers, arranging bouquets all day long. This was before the internet really hit, so job-hunting was done via newspaper “Help Wanted” ads. Braydon quickly found a job in IT (which was just hitting as a booming field then)— but I had a lot of trouble with the flower shop idea. There were plenty of flower shop job openings, and I applied to every single one of them, and was rejected from every one. Over and over I was told that as a person with a college degree from an elite northern school I was “overqualified for the job.” Eventually I gave up on that idea. In the “Help Wanted” section there were a few law office openings for paralegal-type-work. I didn’t know anything about legal work, but I had done quite a bit of very abstract studying of law-related stuff in college (because for most of my college career, before I decided I’d pursue a PhD in sociology, I had planned to go to law school). So, I applied to two of these law jobs — both law firms in downtown Charleston. And, much to my shock, got job offers at both. One was a larger firm, and one was a private practice with just one lawyer. I said no to the larger firm, but the private practice guy seemed interesting. His name was Jack Cordray, and he took a chance on me, and I took a chance on him. He offered me his job as a legal-assistant-paralegal, and I took it.
It was one of the best things I’ve ever done.
He taught me how to bring in cases, work the cases, and — quite often — get the cases settled out of court. As it turned out, we were a pretty awesome team. And before I knew it we were racking up the cases and the settlements and things were really clicking at The Law Offices of Jack Cordray.
But then, after about a year of pretty extreme success for our little team-of-two, I had to tell Jack that I had gotten into grad school and I was leaving. You know, there are moments in life when you find yourself standing right at a fork in the road. And this was one of those moments. He did something pretty incredible: he suggested a plan to me — he’d put me through law school, and we’d continue our operation, and I’d work for him/with him for the long-term. He painted a pretty clear picture for me of what my life would be like: a warm breezy beautiful Charlestonian life with all the trimmings. I could see it and I knew he was right about it. I had a good sense of what it would be — and it was extremely appealing. I mean, extremely appealing. Or, I could go back up to the cold hard north, go through many years of grueling drudgery as a PhD student in sociology, and pursue a career the dry colorless cut-throat world of academe.
For better or for worse, I chose the road to academe. But I’ve always known that it so easily could have gone the other way. I don’t have regrets, but I do often imagine the life that Braydon and I would have if we had stayed in Charleston. And I know it would have been a very good life.
Over the past twenty years I’ve stayed in touch with Jack and I’ve always thought of him as a far-off, but very real, pillar in my life. I learned so much from him. I learned so much about working legal cases (of course), but I learned so much about the South, and about life, and about me, from Jack. He’s one of those people who will always be in my heart and mind.
Although we’ve come back to the Charleston area a whole bunch of times, Braydon and I never got together with Jack. This is mainly because when we’ve been in the area it has been very explicitly and very purposefully to be on a vacation/break-from-reality, and we are people who very much do not want to socialize — at all — when we’re trying to get away from our very social life.
But, after twenty years, it was time to see Jack. And it was definitely time to have him meet my bambinos, and have my bambinos meet him.
And so, on Sunday, we J-Ms went to visit Jack and his smart-and-beautiful wife, Belinda.
Jack and Belinda were such a pure joy to spend the day with, and they gave us such a very special day. And more than anything, I remembered the feeling of what a special treat it is to be around people who really “get you” and know you in an unusual and true way.
We visited them at their house on Kiawah Island. Jack and Belinda were so generous to us as they hosted us at Kiawah — which is such an exquisite place to visit.
They took us to lunch at the clubhouse at The Ocean Course at Kiawah. We sat on the veranda (photo at top of post), and had a lovely lunch, and this was our view overlooking the 18th hole~
Kyle and Owen and Meera, at ages 10 and 6, really have no idea what it means that they had lunch there, at that place, with Jack and Belinda. They don’t understand how famous that golf course is, or how exclusive of a world they had entered when they were brought there by the Cordrays. All they knew was that they were instantaneously embraced by Jack and Belinda, and they instantaneously adored Jack and Belinda. But someday something will click and they’ll “get it” and they’ll think to themselves, “Oh! Yeah! Wow, so one time we had lunch at The Ocean Course at Kiawah Island with my mom’s old boss!”
Jack really wanted the boys to have Ocean Course hats, so he treated them. And Meera picked out a stuffed sea turtle, who she named Pearl, and who she’s been carrying around non-stop ever since Jack bought her for her.
We spent the afternoon at the ocean and the pool being spoiled by Jack and Belinda. It was sweetness.
Kiawah is gorgeous, and there is wildlife everywhere. The kids were thrilled when we spotted a dear in Jack and Belinda’s yard~
They were even more thrilled when they spotted a snake in the woods and Jack went after it, trying to catch it for them. He told them that if he caught it for them he’d let them keep it as a pet. Jack got big points from the bambinos for that move! He got big points from me for not catching it after-all (phew!!!).
It was a very special day.
Thank you so much Jack and Belinda. You are loved and appreciated by five J-Ms. xoxo
