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I try to avoid doing a lot of shopping with the boys because they are so bad in stores with me. They have never liked shopping; they just aren’t the type. And the threat of leaving the store does not work for them since their goal is to leave the store. When I have to bring them with me on errands I often commit that critical parenting sin: BRIBERY. I’ll say, “If you’re good I’ll give you a cookie!” or “If you don’t act up in this store I’ll push you in the cart over the speed bump in the parking lot!!!” or — in extreme situations, such as yesterday (I had a ton of errands to run) — the big one: “If you’re very, very good I’ll take you to McDonalds!!!!!!!” McDonalds for them is all about those indoor playgrounds that they have. They couldn’t care less about the Happy Meal (although they do like the chocolate milk), their love of “Ronald McDonalds” (as they call it) is purely about their love of those crazy plastic indoor playspaces. So, they were incredibly good all morning shopping and it was time for the big reward. We got the ‘food’ (if you could really call it that), got settled at a table situated right next to the playground thing, the boys took one sip of chocolate milk and took off to climb. The place was packed with lots of other people just like us: mothers running errands bribing their young kids with McDonalds for lunch. I was sitting so close to the playspace that I could see and hear a lot of what was going on in there. Often I could hear my boys trying to initiate conversations with other kids. At times I was actually laughing out loud at what they would say to these kids (most of whom had this response to my boys chatter: they would just stare blankly at K & O and then run away)… Here are the top three Playground Pickup Lines I heard my boys use yesterday (none of which were successful):

1. “We saw a PT Cruiser! It was white! Did you see a PT Cruiser?!”
2. “Do you want to look out the window with me and my brother to try to see a Mini Cooper?”
3. “This is my brother. He’s my brother. He’s not your brother.”

We’ve always referred to Braydon as “Papi” in our family, but the boys have long referred to other kids fathers as their “Daddies.” They understand that other people use the word “Daddy” to mean the same thing that our word “Papi” means. They’ll often say things like, “My Daddy is my Papi” or “Papi is my Daddy.” Although K & O — like most young children in the U.S.A. — have unfortunately been bombarded with the mythology/symbolism/rhetoric/ideology/imagery of the ‘nuclear family,’ we go way out of our way to be clear that not all families resemble the culturally dominant Mommy-Daddy-and-children portrait. They know, for example, that some kids live with just a mom, or just a dad, or just their grandma/grandpa/etc., etc., etc. And, because of their own history, and our conversations about adoption, they know that some kids don’t have a Mommy or a Daddy or a family at all. Also, because we make it a point to talk about it a lot, and because they’ve been exposed to lots of different kinds of families, the boys fully understand the concept that some kids have “two Mommies” and some kids have “two Daddies.” We went through a phase with Kyle a while back when he would regularly tell us that he wished that instead of having one Mommy and one Papi, he had “two Mommies.” This was during a phase of intense competition between K & O for my attention and affection. During that phase he would mention his wish for “two Mommies” regularly, but there were two times when his explicit verbalization of this wish was particularly pronounced. Both times he discussed this wish (his rational: “…because then Owen could have a Mommy and I could have a Mommy too!”), and he discussed it often (repeatedly, and semi-obsessively for several day stretches at a time). Both times were non-coincidentally on the heels of us having gotten together socially with Two-Mommy-families. About a month ago we spent some time with a Two-Daddy-family but neither K or O seemed to have much to say about that, and Kyle’s intense “two Mommy” phase is long gone. But tonight, totally completely 100% out of the blue, when I was putting Owen to bed he asked me, “Mommy, after you kiss me night night then Papi will come?” (our ritual is that we each say goodnight to a boy and then we switch and say goodnight to the other). I said, “Yes, after I go, then Papi will come.” Owen said, “O.k. Mommy!” He then announced to me matter-of-factly: “I am pretending that I have two Daddies.” I said, “O.k.!” He said, “But I don’t have two Daddies. I have one Mommy and one Daddy. But I am pretending. I am pretending that I have two Daddies.” “O.k.!” I said again, then I kissed him goodnight and his one Papi went into his room to tuck him in.

I can’t seem to get a good photo of it, so this one will have to do. I have to be honest though: This photo does not do it justice — it actually looks a lot worse than it looks in this picture. If Kyle were pale skinned he’d have a really bad ‘black eye’ right now. As it is, it does not look pretty. It is very swollen and bruised. But he is blessed with awesome genes (that Braydon and I can claim no credit for!), and he is a beautiful dark skinned boy, so as far as ‘black eyes’ go Ky Ky’s looks pretty darn good. But looks aren’t everything. The poor child is in pain. We try to keep the Children’s Motrin flowing, but still it is tender and it is sore. He was running a minor fever, which had us worried. But he took 3-hour naps both yesterday and today and so far he checks out o.k., doesn’t seem to have any infection, etc. We’re hoping for a quick recovery so he can get back into the swimming pool ASAP.

Last night, around 7:30, we were just finishing up a game of classic memory with the boys when Kyle got a little revved up (memory will do that you know), swung around fast and hit his head on the corner of the coffee table – about a half inch above his right eye. There was quite a bit of blood and a some crying, but the worst part was seeing him writhing in his mommy’s arms with no sound coming out.

We ran across the street to our neighbor who is a doctor (and who has raised three boys), but he wasn’t there. His wife looked at it (who did most of the raising part) and thought it looked like a trip to the ER. We decided to go. At least this wasn’t our first trip (this is actually our fourth trip for Ky Ky). The amazing part – Heather agreed to let me take him and she stayed home with Owen.

After applying a little neosporin (to slow clotting), packing some clothes and honey bunny, Kyle and I rushed off to the hospital. To get registered and sit for a three hour wait. No amount of asking, pleading or bullying sped it up. Three hours to have my baby’s eye tended to.

In the world’s richest country, with the worlds most sophisticated medical system, that is a true embarrassment. But who am I kidding – this is capitalism at work.

One good thing – he got to have Macaroni and Cheese (they made him a snack while we waited) and jello.

Finally we saw the doctor. She was very young and also very good. This is what happened:

She came in and Kyle said “What’s your name???” And she told him. Then he said “I’m Kyle”. She asked what happened. “I bang bang bang [with violent head motions] on my head”. “Oh, ouch” she say.

“This may hurt a little, but it’s ok. [and to me] He can stay on your lap, just be sure to hold him”

She proceeded to take some damp gauze, and wipe very firmly on the wound. The bright red blood came off. Then she picked out the eyebrow hair from the cut – one hair at a time. Then she tucked the fatty tissue back into the cut and squeezed the cut shut. The fatty tissue popped out and she tucked is back and and shut the wound.

Kyle didn’t budge. He didn’t cry, he didn’t wince, he didn’t fuss. He took it stoically and calmly. It was incredible.

She then went and got dermabond aka superglue. She spread the wound open again, tucked the fatty tissue back in, and pinched it closed. She broke open the applicator and applied it to the open wound. It was like she was putting clear nail polish (or I suppose super glue) right onto it.

It hurt – it stung – Kyle tried to move her hands away and I had to hold him. But after about 5 seconds, he was fine and said somewhat hopefully “It’s getting better?” “The doctor’s doing a good job?”.

Yes baby, it’s getting better.

After the 10 minute visit, and a Popsicle courtesy of the doctor, we went out, collected our paperwork and went home. It was 11:30 PM. I called Heather from the car to tell her. Kyle asked me who it was. He then said “It’s getting better?” Yes baby, it’s getting better. And he fell deeply asleep in his car seat.

We got home, put him in bed and both had a Bourbon.

Now, granted, this is nothing like what the Livesay’s deal with, but it’s tough none-the-less.

O & K, yesterday morning snack

K & O, today lunch

Really I’m not sure if this is normal or not, but I thought I should document it for history’s sake. If they are ever winning food-eating-contests I can at least have recorded proof that it all started right at the very beginning. And I’ve got to believe that this will help when someday in the future I make a claim to some of their winnings in exchange for the fact that I had to constantly provide the steady stream of food that set them up for their Winning Life.

The pool cover was taken off on Tuesday, but it takes a couple days to clean up the pool and for the chemicals to all settle, etc. Yesterday, after work, the pool was looking perfectly clean, and I checked the chemical levels and sure enough it was ready to go. I shouted to Kyle and Owen, “Let’s go in the swimming pool guys!” Quick as a whip they were in the house to get their bathing suits on. Before getting back outside I warned them, “Our swimming pool is much, much colder right now than the swimming pools in Virgin Gorda! It is going to be very, very cold!” Kyle just nodded disinterested. Owen had a snappy response: “I will jump in it.” “O.k.,” I said, “let’s go!” And out we went. [Note: as always, you can click on any of these photos to see them larger.]

Then Owen stuck his hands in to see how cold it actually was

(it was very, very cold)…

Of course, (of course of course of course), Kyle — Fearless Kyle — was the first to go in. He proudly walked right in. Then jumped in from the side a few times…

…freezing his little tush off, but loving every second of it nevertheless…

Finally, Owen took the plunge.

Rather than walk down the steps, he just dove right off the side…

And quickly realized how very, very cold it really, really was!…

Yay Owen! (I don’t know who was more excited at Owen having jumped in– Owen, or Kyle)…

“Mommy, it’s cold but good!”…

Soon they gave up on actual swimming and both sat on the edge playing with the water. It continues to be so remarkable to me that in any space (no matter how open or vast), the two of them stick right together… always right next to each other, often with their bodies touching in some way, and usually playing the same exact thing…

The pool is open and the summer has officially begun!

This week the photographer delivered the photos from the boys’ birthday party! For some background on this, click here. Here are some of my favorites…

Since returning home from our vacation the boys are playing ALL THINGS VIRGIN GORDA non-stop. If you ask them where they went on vacation they’ll jubilantly exclaim: “Virgin Gorda Island!!!” If you ask them about the trip they’ll tell you about all sorts of things that were important from their point-of-view… such as:

• “Lizards!” Kyle is proud to explain that he “touched one!” But the lizards are so fast, that despite the fact that both boys tried all week to “catch a lizard!”, neither succeeded. And, in fact, only Kyle ever actually touched one. However, Owen will tell you proudly, that he was “this close!” [to touching one]! The boys spent a significant amount of their vacation time “looking for lizards!”
• “Vacation Trees! and polk-a-dots!” Palm trees are called “vacation trees” by the boys. They love them. And they love trying to climb them. Also, despite our best efforts, twinspeak is in full swing when it comes to the word ‘coconuts’… no matter how many times we try to correct them to say “coconuts” both Kyle and Owen refer to coconuts as “polk-a-dots” when in each other’s presence (and only when in each others presence).
• “Salty in the eyes!” Saltwater in the eyes was a constant theme.
• “Hermit crabs” The loved trying to catch hermit crabs… and unlike with the lizards, the boys were often successful at catching them. But, they got pinched by the hermit crabs’ claws (some of these hermit crabs were absolutely huge) often enough to be a bit shy of them by the end of the week!
• “Pelicans” K & O loved watching the pelicans dive beak-first into the ocean for fish.
• “Goats! and chickens!” There were tons of wild goats and chickens all over the island. Regularly we’d see goats and chickens walking on the roads as we’d try to drive without hitting them. This was a very, very big deal for the boys… who loved looking out the windows for the goats and chickens.
• “No seat belts!” Of course there are no seat belt (let alone car seat!) laws on Virgin Gorda. The people there thought we were absolutely crazy for putting the boys in car seats. After a couple days we let it all go… and the boys were free to ride around with no buckles buckled. As you can imagine, this was huge for them. And they loved that!
• “Outside shower!” Our villa had two bathrooms, one attached to each of the bedrooms. The showers in both were outdoors, tucked in amongst beautiful boulder/rock gardens. Showering every evening in the “outside shower” was a highlight for the boys.
• “Huge fish!” All the snorkeling we did was a major highlight.
• “The ferry!” This was, perhaps the highlight of the trip for both Kyle and Owen… riding the ferry from Tortola to Virgin Gorda on the first day, and then back again at the end of our trip. Both boys told us the following (and I quote) numerous times throughout our trip and also have continued to repeat this numerous times since returning home: “I want to drive the ferry. When I am a big man I am going to drive the ferry. I will be the captain. Me and my brother. We will both be driving the ferry. We will be the captains.” While in Virgin Gorda, while boarding the ferry, Owen asked the captain, “Is this your boat?” The man explained that it was not his boat, but he was the driver. Owen said, “I like your big boat!” And then Owen told the captain: “I want to drive your big boat!” The captain looked Owen in the eye and with complete sincerity said, “Little brother, I have a feeling one day you will own a boat much bigger than this one.” It was a poignant moment for me, one that Owen will never remember, but one that I won’t soon forget.

Since coming home the boys’ play is almost 100% focused on playing-out the trip. They ride their tricycles and explain that they are “driving the rental car! to the villa!” They ride their scooters and shout out, “We’re going to the villa!!!” The play with their toy planes constantly pretending that they are “going up in the sky! to San Juan!” and that they are “landing on the runway! at the Tortola airport!” Every object becomes a ferry. The ferry is “going so fast!” and it is always “going to Virgin Gorda!” Every playground is a ferry, and the boys are the captains. I am told to “sit! hold on tight! you’re on the ferry mama! it is going so fast! this ferry is going to Virgin Gorda island! Mama, say ‘good job captain!'” Of course I oblige it all. They walk along the pathway in front of our house and pretend they are “looking for lizards!” (just like they did on the path outside our villa), and that they are “looking for hermit crabs!” The jump onto the floor, pretending to dive into the swimming pool and the ocean. I think the boys had a good time! 😉 People have often told us that it is a “waste” to take the boys on such vacations since “they won’t even remember it.” Oh, what hogwash! Of course they won’t remember it. That’s not the point.

We’re back from the most spectacular vacation imaginable. Virgin Gorda is located in the British Virgin Islands, in the Caribbean. It would not be for everybody — that’s for sure. Virgin Gorda is very remote, very undeveloped, and very adventurous… and Virgin Gorda was the perfect place for our family. We had the most amazing, invigorating, awesome, inspiring, adventurous time. It took us a full 12 hours to get there each way (via our car, 1 airport van, 2 airplanes, 1 ferry van, 1 ferry, and 1 rental car — each way). Despite the fact that everyone thought we were crazy for taking twin just-barely-three-year olds there, and despite the fact they were the only non-local children we saw the whole time we were there, our boys were — as always — incredible little travelers (they have not disappointed us on one airplane yet!), and incredibly adventurous little explorers! Our villa was absolutely wonderful, and the island of Virgin Gorda felt like heaven on earth for us. For a full week we were fully immersed in a lively and lovely Caribbean culture where the boys were treated like absolute royalty (within three days of being there the entire island knew Kyle and Owen were there and people would greet them happily everywhere we went), we were in a place where Braydon and I were usually the only “whites” around, and where dreadlocs are commonplace. Plus, we saw some of the most spectacular natural beaches on the planet, the boys learned to snorkel (seriously, they could not have done better!!!!! and they could not have seen more gorgeous tropical fish), we ate fresh grilled and blackened fish right off the boat, and we had a week of perfect family bonding. It truly could not have been better. We feel so fortunate to be in the position to be able to do this kind of thing as a family. Today — to make up for the long blog hiatus — I’m posting 40 of our favorite photos from the trip. Believe me, there are lots more where these came from (!!!), but I’m limiting myself to just 40.