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Eddy

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There are many types of stones and rock ranging in hardness and density and color and texture. All across the world different stones show up at the surface of our planet. And when they do arrive, coming up from the depths of the earth, they are fresh and new – even when they are extremely old. Their form and substance is shaped from the passage to above; their fundamental nature is imposed before we ever even toss a single stone in the river.

But once they emerge in to the light, weathering begins. It can be a deluge, it can be a mist, or sunny. In all cases, the elements have an immediate effect to harden, to carve, to wash away and to bring out different characteristics: on the way to the river, the rocks’ shapes start to shift and change, to undergo metamorphosis. And sooner or later, all stones are brought to one river or another in some manner: in padding, skidded or bounced, tumbled down an embankment or tossed in by able hands.

And while there are many rivers in the world – wide and flowing; with boat traffic; little more than a trickle in a nearly dry stream bed – some are truly wild. It’s up to a captain to ensure safe passage on any river. But I suppose you can never can tell about the captain until you get there.

And there are so many forces in any river – current, flood, drought, silt, other rock or even a dam now and again. It can be difficult to navigate for even the most competent oarsman, it can demand and shake the very confident of the most worthy seafarer. We are all ultimately lost to the sea; it’s passage that we enjoy and relish.

Heather and I found and were tossed two rocks which we gently placed in our river. We know that as we navigate the ever changing tides in our little boat, it’s important to moderate the flow over our boys, keep it in check. Keep if from overwhelming them, from undermining them, from carrying them away.

Our river is beautiful and we love it. Our boys love to skip stones in it, we love its flow. But like a good whitewater rafter, we also do everything we can to keep K & O tucked in the eddies of our own quickly weathering stones; keep them safe while we quickly, deftly and jointly work to build their boats and teach them to sail. We know that some day, and we don’t really know when, they will captain their own vessel on their own waters.

We have pretty intense schedules and lives. Things tip our applecart, things knock us off our rails. It’s mostly our own doing and we make the most of it. Every opportunity that has come our way by luck, work, or birth we have leveraged. It sometimes results in strife, and difficulty and tremendous speed; often it results in reward. We always do our best to keep our boys in our eddies until their boats are ready.
Today we visited our friends Matt, Stacey and Ben. While there, Kyle locked-in on a Hess firetruck. He played with it for an hour, pushing it around the floor, turning the lights on and off, making the sirens blare. He played mostly by himself, but at one point he took me into a darkened bathroom to see the trucks lights. While laying on the floor eyes fixed on the toy he joyfully whispered to me: “Papi, it’s soooo beautiful“.

Our little stone played and played. For now both are safely in our eddies.

I hope we navigate well.

Thought of the Day & Small World Connection

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One of our regular readers is “Malia’s Mama” (click here to see her blog). I have become fast friends with her through the blogosphere. It is a crazy, crazy, small, small world, but we have a sort of incredible story — 1.5 years ago I made a photo/scrap book thing that “tells”/documents the story of our family’s adoption. I had randomly found a poem on the internet that I adored, and one of the things I put in the book was the poem. Also, right here on this blog, on our Adoption Day this year, I posted the same poem (check it out by clicking here). So, fast forward to a few weeks ago –> I start noticing this woman- “Malia’s Mama” regularly posting these really interesting comments on our blog. She’s clearly knowledgeable about Haiti, and her comments strike me as unusual (in a good way). We start emailing. We become, like I said, fast friends through the blogosphere. Eventually she shares a couple of her pieces of writing with me. And… one of them is… none other than… the One Child poem that I had put in our photo book and on our blog. O.k., is that crazy, crazy, small, small world or what??? Anyway… I really appreciate “Malia’s Mama’s” poem(s) and her comments on our blog. After I saw her comment on today’s post (click here for that post), a thought that I’ve had many, many times once again got stuck in my head. This evening I keep thinking this thought that I think a lot:
You can take the boy out of Haiti, but you can’t take the Haiti out of the boy.

3 Year Olds Check Ups

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This morning the “whole family” (as K & O say) went to the Doctor’s Office for Kyle and Owen’s 3-Year-Old Physicals. It is always an event going anywhere with K & O. They take every place they enter by storm. The Doctor’s Office is no exception. The folks in the waiting room stare at them and try not to giggle, the nurses all swoon over them and offer them lollipops, the doctors indulge in their own proud roles in K & O’s medical success story, and we — their parents — hold our breath just hoping that neither of them break the stethoscope. K & O delight in going to “The Doctor’s” each and every time. Bizarrely, they even claim to “like shots!” ???! Today Owen even asked for a shot: “Can I please have shot please? I like shots!!!” ??!! Lucky for him, he got to have one. Kyle too. They were both fascinated with it (I’m not kidding) and never even flinched when the long needle filled with the Hep A vaccine was shot deep into their upper arms (heeding our very conservative doctor’s advice we opted to get the Hep A since we travel with the boys off the beaten path in the Caribbean and let them eat, as the doctor said it, “local flavors” while we’re there). Anyway… like with any “whole family” outing, I could go on and on about this one. The biggest piece of info to come out of it was no surprise: both boys are waaaaaaay off the charts for height and weight. Our doctor was so excited to “chart them” that she was actually giddy when it came time to mark their percentiles. She announced proudly that she’s “never seen anything like it” (quote, unquote). She also mentioned (being a mother herself) that she “can’t wait to hear what our grocery bill is when these boys are sixteen”… As usual, Braydon laughed proudly when she said that, and I cringed in fear. Here are their 3 year old stats–
Owen: height = 41.5 inches, weight = 39 pounds
Kyle: height = 41 inches, weight = 38 pounds
Our pediatrician explained that the boys are “over what the charts show” so she told me that if anyone asks I should just say that they are “above the top 5 percentile.” I thought to myself, “O.k., but nobody usually asks that.” I get it though, she’s just thrilled about K & O. She takes pride in it. She expressed repeatedly to us how proud she is of their medical story. K & O’s pediatrician has been with us — every step of the way, medically, with our boys. She was “on the case” (as she says) even before we brought them home. Today she even snuck us into a room where on a large cork board she has proudly displayed multiple photos of Kyle and Owen which show their remarkable recovery, growth, and all-around-health/medical journey over time. She has always asked me for “update photos” but I never realized why until now. Now I know that she displays them proudly in the office for all to see. She deserves to be proud.


August New Hampshire Trip

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While everyone was coming up with questions for our Open Book Challenge we were in New Hampshire for our annual summer trip. Today I heard Kyle explain it to someone as our “trip to MorMor and MorFar’s House and Cottage.” Precisely. My parents still live in the home where I grew up in the Mount Washington Valley. My parents built their house and it is absolutely beautiful. My mom’s side of the family also has a summer cottage on Lake Winnipesaukee. My great grandfather built it and Kyle and Owen are the 5th generation to love it. And man oh man, love it they do. I didn’t think anyone could love “the cottage” (as we call it) more than my mother or I (my mother grew up spending summers there and she adores the place immensely; I have a special love for the place too — amongst other things, Braydon proposed to me on the dock there). I now realize, however, after seeing my boys there for their third annual summer visit, that it is very possible that my boys love it even more than any generation before them. I am so happy about that. We had a wonderful 6-day vacation, we took tons of photos, and I’m going to post a lot of them here. Hopefully the pictures will do justice to how special this annual pilgrimage is for us!
* * *
Highlights this year were~~ the airplane rides to-and-from (I can’t even explain how much K & O love everything about air travel — including the chance to get a rental car); swimming in Loon Lake; MorFar’s tractor; homemade pizza cooked in my parents’ new earth oven; K & O’s second annual trip to Story Land with their cousin Sadie (Kyle’s favorite ride: the Flying Fish, Owen’s favorite ride: the Bamboo Chutes); lobster & steamers on the picnic table at the cottage Friday night; many, many rides in “MorFar’s Boat!”; K & O “driving” the motorboat with MorFar (Kyle was completely obsessed); spending time with Stina, Tim, and Sadie (Auntie Stina is always a huge highlight for K & O!!!); being in NH for my Aunt and Uncle’s 40th Wedding Anniversary party on Sunday; fresh veggies from my mom’s gardens; lots of swimming and playing in the water; kayaking; walks along the dirt roads; K & O throwing rocks — still their favorite pastime anytime they are anywhere near a body of water; a special motorboat ride to Wolfeboro for ice cream; beautiful sunsets; fried clams, etc. from Sawyers Dairy Bar on Monday night; coffee by the water every morning and every afternoon; K & O’s first time fishing; a lot more sleep than usual for Braydon and I (thanks to my parents for taking the early morning shifts with K & O!); a special visit from Mrs. Peterson on Friday night and a special visit from Ed & Andrea (and Morgan) on Tuesday; lots of laughs with/at K & O; lots of quality time with MorMor and MorFar.
* * *
Our family loves to travel. Being able to go to such a special place (my home, our family cottage) is especially awesome for us. It is crazy, crazy, crazy to travel with two rambunctious three-year-old boys. And it definitely has its ‘moments’ — Kyle got sick from eating too many pepperonis on pizza night; Owen threw some seriously nasty tantrums each day; Kyle fell off the dock (fully clothed) and almost drowned (literally) and I (Heather) had to jump in (fully clothed) to save him (literally); our flight back to Philadelphia was delayed for two hours; both boys came home coming down with cold/flu bugs; the packing and unpacking is a drag, etc, etc, etc… but… all in all — the bottom line is that we love it. All four of us. We just love going on family trips. Wouldn’t trade it for the world. Don’t get me wrong, we love to come home too. But there is nothing that cements our family more than a little vaca. Hope you enjoy the photos!~~

Open Book Challenge

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Dear my dear readers,
We have opened up quite a can of worms here now haven’t we?! I had no idea we’d get so many questions when we posted our End of Summer Open Book Challenge. I suppose I should have known. Braydon did tell me recently that we currently get something like 300+ people looking at this blog every day. However, I guess I just didn’t think it all through. Ladies and gentlemen, you are going to have to be patient with us while we sort it all out, tally it all up, and come up with a game plan for answering all these fabulous questions you’ve posed. Don’t worry, we’re working on it. It is just gonna take a little time to wade our way through. We love seeing what you’re all curious about. And we’re very excited to share our reactions. We’re already having lots of fun chatting about our answers to the questions… keep checking in here for our official answers.
Sincerely,
Heather

End of Summer Open Book Challenge

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In my post yesterday I said that our life is not an open book. It is not. However… it is pretty darn open! :) Over the past couple of months a few of my blogger friends have challenged me to the “Open Book Challenge.” I have been putting off doing it. But I think now is the time to step up to the plate! So, my dear readers, here’s the deal:

We have a certain style of writing on this blog. You may or may not have noticed this, but, unlike many bloggers, we do not normally pose open questions to our readers, or crack open the door for lots of conversation in the post comments sections, or encourage our readers into dialogue with us. The brutal truth of it is that we don’t write this blog as a way to converse with folks and we don’t compose our posts in an effort to accumulate comments. Another truth is this: We never in a million years would have imagined that so many people would be reading this blog. It never would have even occurred to us. But now, after 10 months of blogging, we do realize that there are some things about our family that actually interest others. Who woulda thunk it?!! And we also realize that the things that we find interesting about our life aren’t always the things that our readers find interesting about it! LOL!

So, folks, here’s your chance!!! The Open Book Challenge is an opportunity for you to ask me/Braydon/us both any question(s) you want. We may not answer every question (simply because there are indeed things we don’t make public), but we will do the best we can. We blog lots about adoption, about Haiti, about inter-racial family, about twins, about wild-and-crazy-little-twin-boy-antics, about our 2-career-craze, etc. Do you have a question you’ve been dying to ask??? There are also tons of topics that we haven’t covered yet in the life-span-to-date of this blog. Is there something that comes to mind that you’d like us to put out there??? Is there something you’re curious about?! No matter how deep or how shallow… Now’s your chance!

If you think it is nerve-wracking to throw a question out on our blog, imagine what it is like for us — throwing posts out into the blogosphere every day!?!!! — I don’t ask much of you, do I?? So, please, if you read this blog at all, please play along with us — click on “comments” below this post, and ask us a question — we’ll be so bummed if you don’t! And just remember, like your 4th grade teacher said, “No question is a stupid question!” Ask away. Ask whatever. But just do it, please, and do it quick. We can’t take too long of a hiatus before our ‘regularly scheduled program’ resumes and we’ll be back to blogging about whatever the heck we feel like again. At midnight on Tuesday, August 21 we’ll officially shut the door on this once-in-a-lifetime-Open-Book-opportunity. So, my friends, ask away~~~

NOTE: If you absolutely do not want to ask a question (or really can’t think of one), then please just make a comment — even if it is just “hi!” Because, in addition to the ‘Open Book Challenge’ we’d also just kinda like to have a sense of who is actually reading this thing!!!!~~~

In the meantime, we’ll leave you with a couple end of summer photo gems of our two cutie pies with their latest favorite fruit:

Lime-Aid Benefit

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http://www.lime-aid.tv/

We adopted Kyle and Owen through an adoption agency in Montana called A New Arrival (click here). They have their own orphanage in Port-au-Prince. The same week that we went to get Kyle and Owen, the orphanage they were in was moving to a new location. That was a good thing. To say the least. And from what we hear, there has been much improvement in the facilities, childcare, staffing, and general condition of “K & O’s” orphanage over the past 2.5 years. We’re not surprised to hear that there is lots of moving and shaking and building and growing going on with this orphanage because the director, Rock Cayo, is an amazing man. He will forever hold a special place in our hearts because of the incredible role he has played in the lives of Kyle and Owen, and because of how much he did for Braydon and I to help us complete K & O’s adoptions during our week in Haiti. We just got word that a big fundraiser is being held to support the building of a new A New Arrival orphanage complex in Haiti. Take a minute to check it out — click here. And please pass along this information to anyone you can think of who might be able to contribute. Thanks y’all!

Trauma and Healing in Adoption

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I mentioned in my post last night a profound experience with Owen. I’ve decided I’m not going to blog anything specific about it because it is too private. It may seem to you, in reading this blog, that my/our life is an open book. It is not. I do blog about many things and I don’t like “hiding”– but there are also many, many things that I purposefully and conscientiously do not blog about. One of the categories of things that is off limits is anything too sensitive/private about my boys’ histories. Before we even met Kyle and Owen, Braydon and I made a decision together that we’d protect certain parts of their life histories so that when they — Kyle and Owen — are old enough, they can choose whether or not they want those parts of themselves to be shared. It is a fine line. On one hand, we don’t want to put a veil of secrecy over anything — it seems to imply that there is something shameful to hide. We don’t want our boys to feel shame. But on the other hand, we don’t want to make public things that our boys may feel, or come to feel, should be kept private. And importantly, we do not want people to look at our boys through the lens of their traumatic past; we want people to see our boys through the lens of their transcendent present. It is tough. Not everyone who adopts has such complexities. But everyone who adopts from Haiti (or a place like it), probably does. We, Haitian (and others like us) Adoptive Families, are special cases. It is different for us because with only rare exceptions, our children suffered trauma. Deep trauma. Unthinkable trauma. Part of living our family lives is knowing that trauma and living a process of healing. In the Johnson-McCormick Family we are always conscious of that. Even though our boys were only 8 months old when we brought them home, their trauma (and their post-traumatic challenges) are very, very real. For Kyle and Owen it is still vivid. They have always expressed it to us in various ways. But now that they are so verbal, they have both begun to articulate that to us with words. Last night Owen told us about a memory that he has from when he was in the orphanage in Haiti. There is no way on earth my three year old boy would even have the knowledge to make something like this up. He’s telling the truth. That takes guts. I’m so proud of him. In my pride for my son I’ve decided to not write about the specifics here. I’ll let him tell that story someday, if he chooses to. Yet it is important to be real — for the sake of all the other adoptive families out there who struggle in some of the same ways that we do (and in many cases, who struggle in ways so much more extreme than us)… so I want to say this: there is trauma and there is healing — all mixed up together — in adoptions like ours. I love my babies with a passion. As you know. So, I can’t help but cry deep in my soul when I let my mind ponder their past. But I am focused on their transcendence and their incredibly promising future. Adoption is a miracle. In my mind, it is the truest miracle I know of or can imagine.

Owen (on left) & Kyle (on right), exactly 3 years ago,
in the orphanage in Haiti,
August 2004, age 3 months
Owen in the hotel in Haiti, our first week together,
January 2005, age 8 months
Owen on our “Over-The-Hump” Day
(same amount of time out of the orphanage as in it),
October 2005, age 16 months
Owen on our first Adoption Day,
on the hotel balcony, celebrating in Baltimore,
January 2006, age 20 months
Owen at the pool, last week,
age 3 years & 3 months