I hope we navigate well.
I hope we navigate well.
Hi – I’m trying out some new editing software and the new blogger video posting – the quality of the files will get better soon! p.s. double click on the arrow to see the video
One of our regular readers is “Malia’s Mama” (click here to see her blog). I have become fast friends with her through the blogosphere. It is a crazy, crazy, small, small world, but we have a sort of incredible story — 1.5 years ago I made a photo/scrap book thing that “tells”/documents the story of our family’s adoption. I had randomly found a poem on the internet that I adored, and one of the things I put in the book was the poem. Also, right here on this blog, on our Adoption Day this year, I posted the same poem (check it out by clicking here). So, fast forward to a few weeks ago –> I start noticing this woman- “Malia’s Mama” regularly posting these really interesting comments on our blog. She’s clearly knowledgeable about Haiti, and her comments strike me as unusual (in a good way). We start emailing. We become, like I said, fast friends through the blogosphere. Eventually she shares a couple of her pieces of writing with me. And… one of them is… none other than… the One Child poem that I had put in our photo book and on our blog. O.k., is that crazy, crazy, small, small world or what??? Anyway… I really appreciate “Malia’s Mama’s” poem(s) and her comments on our blog. After I saw her comment on today’s post (click here for that post), a thought that I’ve had many, many times once again got stuck in my head. This evening I keep thinking this thought that I think a lot:
You can take the boy out of Haiti, but you can’t take the Haiti out of the boy.
Dear my dear readers,
We have opened up quite a can of worms here now haven’t we?! I had no idea we’d get so many questions when we posted our End of Summer Open Book Challenge. I suppose I should have known. Braydon did tell me recently that we currently get something like 300+ people looking at this blog every day. However, I guess I just didn’t think it all through. Ladies and gentlemen, you are going to have to be patient with us while we sort it all out, tally it all up, and come up with a game plan for answering all these fabulous questions you’ve posed. Don’t worry, we’re working on it. It is just gonna take a little time to wade our way through. We love seeing what you’re all curious about. And we’re very excited to share our reactions. We’re already having lots of fun chatting about our answers to the questions… keep checking in here for our official answers.
Sincerely,
Heather
In my post yesterday I said that our life is not an open book. It is not. However… it is pretty darn open!
Over the past couple of months a few of my blogger friends have challenged me to the “Open Book Challenge.” I have been putting off doing it. But I think now is the time to step up to the plate! So, my dear readers, here’s the deal:
We have a certain style of writing on this blog. You may or may not have noticed this, but, unlike many bloggers, we do not normally pose open questions to our readers, or crack open the door for lots of conversation in the post comments sections, or encourage our readers into dialogue with us. The brutal truth of it is that we don’t write this blog as a way to converse with folks and we don’t compose our posts in an effort to accumulate comments. Another truth is this: We never in a million years would have imagined that so many people would be reading this blog. It never would have even occurred to us. But now, after 10 months of blogging, we do realize that there are some things about our family that actually interest others. Who woulda thunk it?!! And we also realize that the things that we find interesting about our life aren’t always the things that our readers find interesting about it! LOL!
So, folks, here’s your chance!!! The Open Book Challenge is an opportunity for you to ask me/Braydon/us both any question(s) you want. We may not answer every question (simply because there are indeed things we don’t make public), but we will do the best we can. We blog lots about adoption, about Haiti, about inter-racial family, about twins, about wild-and-crazy-little-twin-boy-antics, about our 2-career-craze, etc. Do you have a question you’ve been dying to ask??? There are also tons of topics that we haven’t covered yet in the life-span-to-date of this blog. Is there something that comes to mind that you’d like us to put out there??? Is there something you’re curious about?! No matter how deep or how shallow… Now’s your chance!
If you think it is nerve-wracking to throw a question out on our blog, imagine what it is like for us — throwing posts out into the blogosphere every day!?!!! — I don’t ask much of you, do I?? So, please, if you read this blog at all, please play along with us — click on “comments” below this post, and ask us a question — we’ll be so bummed if you don’t! And just remember, like your 4th grade teacher said, “No question is a stupid question!” Ask away. Ask whatever. But just do it, please, and do it quick. We can’t take too long of a hiatus before our ‘regularly scheduled program’ resumes and we’ll be back to blogging about whatever the heck we feel like again. At midnight on Tuesday, August 21 we’ll officially shut the door on this once-in-a-lifetime-Open-Book-opportunity. So, my friends, ask away~~~
NOTE: If you absolutely do not want to ask a question (or really can’t think of one), then please just make a comment — even if it is just “hi!” Because, in addition to the ‘Open Book Challenge’ we’d also just kinda like to have a sense of who is actually reading this thing!!!!~~~
In the meantime, we’ll leave you with a couple end of summer photo gems of our two cutie pies with their latest favorite fruit:
I mentioned in my post last night a profound experience with Owen. I’ve decided I’m not going to blog anything specific about it because it is too private. It may seem to you, in reading this blog, that my/our life is an open book. It is not. I do blog about many things and I don’t like “hiding”– but there are also many, many things that I purposefully and conscientiously do not blog about. One of the categories of things that is off limits is anything too sensitive/private about my boys’ histories. Before we even met Kyle and Owen, Braydon and I made a decision together that we’d protect certain parts of their life histories so that when they — Kyle and Owen — are old enough, they can choose whether or not they want those parts of themselves to be shared. It is a fine line. On one hand, we don’t want to put a veil of secrecy over anything — it seems to imply that there is something shameful to hide. We don’t want our boys to feel shame. But on the other hand, we don’t want to make public things that our boys may feel, or come to feel, should be kept private. And importantly, we do not want people to look at our boys through the lens of their traumatic past; we want people to see our boys through the lens of their transcendent present. It is tough. Not everyone who adopts has such complexities. But everyone who adopts from Haiti (or a place like it), probably does. We, Haitian (and others like us) Adoptive Families, are special cases. It is different for us because with only rare exceptions, our children suffered trauma. Deep trauma. Unthinkable trauma. Part of living our family lives is knowing that trauma and living a process of healing. In the Johnson-McCormick Family we are always conscious of that. Even though our boys were only 8 months old when we brought them home, their trauma (and their post-traumatic challenges) are very, very real. For Kyle and Owen it is still vivid. They have always expressed it to us in various ways. But now that they are so verbal, they have both begun to articulate that to us with words. Last night Owen told us about a memory that he has from when he was in the orphanage in Haiti. There is no way on earth my three year old boy would even have the knowledge to make something like this up. He’s telling the truth. That takes guts. I’m so proud of him. In my pride for my son I’ve decided to not write about the specifics here. I’ll let him tell that story someday, if he chooses to. Yet it is important to be real — for the sake of all the other adoptive families out there who struggle in some of the same ways that we do (and in many cases, who struggle in ways so much more extreme than us)… so I want to say this: there is trauma and there is healing — all mixed up together — in adoptions like ours. I love my babies with a passion. As you know. So, I can’t help but cry deep in my soul when I let my mind ponder their past. But I am focused on their transcendence and their incredibly promising future. Adoption is a miracle. In my mind, it is the truest miracle I know of or can imagine.
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