This post is going out to Kristen and is in direct reply to her comment on the post below… hi Kristen!… O.k., so the bow and arrow (that Kyle is asking for from Santa)….. Here’s the deal…
So, yes, Kyle has officially asked Santa for a “bow and arrow and target.” Oh my goodness gracious. Never in my life did I think I’d be buying a bow and arrow. Let alone, for my six year old son. Forget that I’m supposed to be “Santa.” We’re talking about a bow and arrow for my six year old son. (?!!!!!!!!!!) At the Waldorf School (that we just stopped attending) there was a lot of talk about bow and arrows. This was a big part of the Boy Culture there. A part of the culture that we were never fully comfortable with. But a part of the culture that Kyle, in particular, was always fascinated with. At the school’s MayFaire festival each spring they would have an archery station (amongst many other stations), and it was – by far – Kyle’s favorite. He’d have done it for hours if he could have. Anyway… K & O were both –together– going to ask for “one big huge REAL drum set,” and they had been telling us this for weeks, maybe even months. This drum set thing was, basically, Owen’s idea… Owen, who has, for about two years now, wanted a drum set… Owen, who has, for all of the past Christmases of his entire life always succumbed to whatever Kyle wanted to ask Santa for, and then asked for that too, so that they’d both be asking for the same exact thing, because they just couldn’t imagine doing it any other way… and because Kyle has always ruled the roost where these sorts of decisions have been concerned. This year was going to be different: they were going to go with what Owen wanted for once. But then, just this past week, Kyle suddenly announced that he wasn’t going in on the drum set thing with Owen, and instead, wanted a “bow and arrow and target” (he is very clear about the “target”…. he “doesn’t want to kill anything, just use it to shoot at a target” etc., etc., etc.). This announcement (Kyle asking for bow and arrow) definitely threw Owen for a loop, but we encouraged him to “stay strong!” and repeatedly urged him to not be swayed by Kyle. Kyle’s announcement came as a huge surprise to us, too, since, of course, Santa had already purchased the “one big huge REAL drum set” off of Craig’s Week last week (!). A pretty big purchase, and one that had involved a lot of time and energy on Braydon’s part. Anyway, when the letters were written last night we knew that the wishes were set in stone. So, now we’re trying to figure out the bow and arrow and target thing. Braydon is all over it. We’re doing our research. We are in serious marital conflict negotiations over this. I want to get arrows with suction-cups on them (like this one [click]). Braydon, however, wants to do the real deal and get him a full-blown for-real bow-and-arrow “Young Archer’s” set. Seriously. Today Braydon dragged me into the shop pictured above (I took that photo with my cell phone camera as we were pulling out of the place). It was scary, surreal, and totally-over-the-top to be there. I won’t go into detail, but suffice it to say: I grew up in rural New Hampshire, am accustomed to hunting culture, etc… but still… the place was INTENSE. Unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. Braydon was looking at what I can only describe as WEAPONS (serious bows! serious arrows!), and discussing all of it, in depth, with the guy working in the shop. I had all I could do to contain myself. I am all about getting him a TOY. I cannot even IMAGINE buying a real bow and arrow for Kyle. Braydon feels strongly that we should not buy a “toy” because Kyle will be totally bummed out by it. We shall see what Santa brings. In the meantime, feel free to chime in here. Mr. and Mrs. Claus need all the help they can get on this one! Ha! (I mean Ho! ho ho)
Hi there,
Great to hear the story behind the boys’ Santa letter writing, thanks for sharing! Not being a parent myself – just my two cents, I’d probably side with Heather on this one, I’d be concerned about the safety of all the kids involved/running around nearby. In an ideal world I’d like my future children’s home to be a safe haven free of weapons (toy imitations and other otherwise) and violence but I’m sure that will be too idealistic and authoritarian at the end of the day. I guess archery is a grey area – is it a weapon or merely a tool used in a sport? I don’t know much about the Young Archer’s set Braydon is proposing tho’ – perhaps he could chime in with a link? But I get Braydon’s point that Kyle would be totally bummed out about receiving a toy when his brother is getting a real drum set. Glad to hear Kyle has made the mature choice of a target realising the implications of bows and arrows. Hmmmm dilemma!! Looking forward to hearing other parents’ POVs.
-Kate
What a dilemma! Have you considered archery lessons at a real archer(y) school? My friend’s 13 yr old son recently started lessons at X-Ring Archers in Lambertville. He loves it. Maybe you could get the real set with the caveat that it is only used with an adult present. Or maybe you could get a nice looking “play” set with suction cups and archery lessons with the real deal. Good luck!
I would not buy it for him- he is too young. My son always wanted a bow and arrow or pellet gun- but I have refused. (He is very spirited also!) I always said when you are 18 and it is legal for you to buy it yourself than you can get them. If you want to purchase one make sure you lock it up when not in use. Or you can tell him that he has to be 10 or 12 before he can have one. Is there an Archery club he can join- so that he is doing it in a safe environment? Just my opinion- I’m sure you will make the right decision for your family.
I just wanted to add- get him a toy one- they have a cool nerf one.
In another life time I shot archery for a while at an indoor range. I took my children then 4 and 5 with me. They were so small that we bought toy bows but restrung them with real string and they shot with real arrow. I think Kyle would really be bummed by a toy one. Get a real one and teach safety : )
This is my Haitian twin’s first Christmas home so they don’t have the whole list thing down yet. I bought them both scooters.
My son has the bow and arrow with the suction cups and shoots at our front door.
At a carnival he won a bb revolver, I threw it out….it was too dangerous for a 5 year old.
If you want to do the real bow and arrow thing, than see if you can you sign him up with a club where he can learn to target shoot, but hunting…I don’t know…
This is a tough one! I would be worried about my 6 year old having a REAL archery set, but can understand how most probably K’s expectations are for just that… If you get him a real set, would you also get him lessons so he can practice under experienced supervision? The plus side of the toy set is that he can actually play with it at home, more often than he could play with the real set.
Good luck, can’t wait to see what Santa leaves under the tree
A boy after my own heart….
I was an odd little tomboy obsessed with LOTR and at 10 begged my parents for a bow and arrow set too! They ended up getting me a youth set – something very similar to what I had been using at summer camp and at school. The youth or “school grade” set had metal tipped arrows that were pretty dull. My father bought me some hay bales for me to attached my target to…..the arrows were sharp enough to puncture the hay and probably could have hurt someone if I really tried (It would have taken a good amount of strength for me to shoot hard enough to really hurt someone) but…honestly it never occurred to me. My parents had some strict rules about how and when I was allowed to play with it. Anyway, I loved it! And believe me, it was nothing like the compound bow I used as an adult….
There are sets out there that are exactly what you need. I’d be freaked out by “true” hunting bows too – they are not what you are looking for.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=a9_sc_1?rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Ayouth+longbow+set&keywords=youth+longbow+set&ie=UTF8&qid=1291917658
I remember at camp when kids would sign up for archery and I’d think “oh my! “what are we teaching here. But you know what? It is a skill to hit that target and I’m going to bet Kyle will perfect that with lots of practice. Maybe it could be set up with a net all around and against the trees in the backyard? Of course you’ll always be out there with him I know because you are the good parents that you are!
Personally, I would get the toy one. I would explain to him that Santa specializes in toys and that’s the type of bow and arrow he can bring. Santa doesn’t bring real ones but toy ones are fun and safe for a kid. When he’s older, he can get a real one or he can take lessons. I personally think it’s better to err on the side of caution since they’re only 6. Kids do foolish things and I would hate to see someone get hurt. They make toys because that’s what kids can safely play with. A real set would be better if taking lessons and using it only there which I would think would be disappointing to him because he would have limited time with the set. A toy one could be used any time he wanted.
This is a tough decision and I believe one only you as parents can make. You are the best judge of whether you believe he is mature enough. Both of my sons have been raised with hunters (very strict hunters) and both have Bow and Arrows. They both are in target leagues (shooting clay targets with rifles) as well as archery leagues, my youngest son is 8. He was outing hunting (just walking the fields) with my Husband and his family at the age of 2. I believe both of them being on leagues as well as hunting has taught them both a great deal of discipline, responsibility, self control as well as great bonding time with their Dad. Again, only you as parents can really judge if you feel your child is ready.
I love boys! We try so hard to protect, nurture and keep weapon and violence out of their lives only to have them turn anything and everything into a weapon. A bow and arrow doesn’t have to be a weapon When my youngest was at “family Camp” in northern Wisconsin, his favorite activity was archery! His sister had been a camper at said camp and hated it but he would spend hours at the “range”.
I think you can do the real bow and arrow thing. With strict rules. Make a “range” someplace that is only to be used with adults present. I am guessing he is going to love it and pester you constantly to go out and practice.
And yes, he isn’t going to go for the toy thing…they just don’t work the same.
I say get the real kid bow and arrow linked to above. Your kids are phyiscally gifted ( it seems to me!) with all sorts of athletic skills and I don’t doubt Kyle would be taught how and when to safely use his special “real” toy. Or get him both and- one to play with and one to use with grownups!
I would say a youth set but with lessons, because shooting a bow an arrow isn’t as easy as it looks. Good luck Santas!
I would have to go with Braydon here. You can set ground rules about it’s use and get him lessons to make sure he knows how to use it. I would also get some suction cup arrows for fun. Put it on Braydon to figure out how to make it safe. It can be something the two of them can do together.
I would recommend a real set with field points. These are dull and suitable for target practice. Knowing him, he won’t be happy with anything less. Sporting stores carry self-healing targets that are very suitable. Archery lessons are a great idea!
Archery is an olympic sport, and judging by the athletic skill of your boys, I’d go for it. Maybe include a letter from Santa about safety, and only using with supervision. But I would also encourage archery lessons, maybe to coincide with drum lessons for Owen?
As mom to 3 sons – all now grown up – boys tend to love this sort of thing. If they are taught how to properly use them and the safety requirements, they will be fine. (used only under strict supervision at this age, which I know you would do). Our boys all had “real” guns ie: bb guns, sling shots, and I think our oldest was around 8 when he got his first bow which he loved to shoot at targets. Personally it’s much more contructive than “nonsense” toys and it can become a developed skill as I know most areas have shooting competitions in which they can win monetary prizes even at young ages. Miss you guys
With the real bow and arrow he wouldn’t get to play with it as much as he would probably like (since it would have to be a closely monitored activity), so I really think you should get him both! With the toy set he could play with it a lot more often, so it could be for “practice” and pretend play. But he could have the real deal as well.
Our 7 year old highly active Haitian son is at the same point. We’re getting him a “bow and arrow” for the archery game on the Wii, which is the first item on his Christmas list, and maybe a nerf bow. This summer for his birthday Grandpa might get him a real one and start teaching him, as Grandpa is an archery club member and spends a lot of time at “bow shoots” and other events — it’ll be a great bonding activity. At the same time I like the availability of the toy versions for him to play with as often as he likes, pretend with, etc.
Maybe buy both? That way he can play anytime he wants with the toy set and can use the real set while supervised. After reading through the comments, it sounds like there are lots of safe options for real sets.
Ok – after all the great feedback (thank you!) here’s the update:
We’re getting him a “real bow”. This kit comes with real arrows – and we’re also getting him suction cup arrows as well. The bow has about a 10lbs pull weight, so it’s not too strong.
And yes, as some one who did quite a bit of archery in my youth, we’ll be teaching some serious safety.
I still can’t quite believe Santa is doing this….
As a girl who grew up target shooting with my dad, it makes me happy to see that you are going with a “real bow”, I also like the compromise of suction cup arrows (I’m assuming for use in the yard). With adult supervision and strict safety rules, archery can be a lot of fun. Kyle seems like the kind of kid who would respect the safety rules. If there isn’t an archery range nearby, there may be a group of archers with the Society for Creative Anachronism who could do lessons if you are looking for outside instruction. I shoot with our local group. They are friendly and VERY safety conscious. I hope you all enjoy the holiday happiness! Please share updates with how Kyle does.