Although most everyone we encountered on Virgin Gorda was black, the only three verbal acknowledgments of anything related to race from the boys were:
- On Saturday morning we were at Savannah Bay Beach (see photos below). The only other people anywhere within sight were 3 groups of locals who appeared to be families. They were all hanging out on one area of the beach and there were a whole bunch of young kids who were swimming in the water and playing on the sand. We plopped down our stuff fairly close to these folks and starting playing in the water ourselves. At one point Owen was on the beach with Braydon and I, while Kyle was in the shallow water to the left of us. Just past Kyle, about 20 feet down the beach, a group of kids were also playing in the water (probably at least a dozen kids, mostly boys, wearing nothing but underpants or shorts). Owen was watching Kyle and also looking past him watching the kids. Matter of factly Owen said to me, “Look Mama, just like my brother.” I said, “What do you mean?” He said, “Those ones look just like my brother.” I said, “Yes Owen! That’s so smart for noticing that! Yes, their skin looks just like your brother’s skin!” He got up and ran to the water to join Kyle. On his way he yelled out to me: “They’re black!” Then a short pause. Then: “Black skin!”
- One day toward the end of our trip we were all sitting on the beach having a snack after having been snorkeling. Braydon and I were talking and the boys were just chowing down. In the midst of our conversation Braydon mentioned something about how tan he and I were both getting. I said to Braydon, “Have you noticed how dark they’re getting?” (meaning, had he noticed that Kyle and Owen’s skin was visibly a few shades darker since arriving on Virgin Gorda.) Braydon said, “Yes, they’re getting so dark.” Kyle abruptly looked up from his snack and said “WHAT?” I said, “We were just talking about how dark we’re all getting.” “ME???”, asked Kyle. “Yes, you. And all of us. Our skin. It is getting darker from the sun.” He looked at his arm and said, “Yes, my skin is dark.” Then he went on to eat more of his snack. Later that day Kyle pointed out some men to me and said, “Mama, look, they are dark like me. Not morning. They are dark.”
- Many, many people on Virgin Gorda have dreadlocks. Some men have very long dreadlocks, all the way down their backs. People would often greet Kyle and Owen by saying: “Its the Rasta Babies!” Or, “Hi Little Rasta Boy!” They loved to touch their hair and talk about their hair and (much to my pride and joy) tell me how “HEALTHY!!!” their hair is. Men specifically seemed to love Kyle and Owen and would often greet the boys by saying, “Hi little man! Hey there my little brother!” ETC. One night we were at an open-air restaurant that is a big local hangout. Everyone sits at tables on a deck overlooking the ocean. A group of men were sitting at a large table drinking beer and playing dominoes. Several of the men had long, long locs. As we entered the scene they were all thrilled to see the boys there and the boys were — of course — thrilled to be the center of attention. The men were doing the fist-slam with the boys, high fives all around, and two of the men (both of whom had long locs) were chatting it up with the boys while their arms were around them and were rubbing K & O’s backs, etc. It was all very, very, very sweet and cute and nice. I noticed Kyle look up at the man who had his arm around him, he was looking at the man’s long dreds (which were in a ponytail) and then he looked at me and somehow I just knew that Kyle wanted to touch the man’s hair but was hesitant. I said, “Kyle, look at his beautiful dreadlocks.” (loud enough for the man to hear). Kyle said, to the man: “Yes. Just like mine.” (and he put both hands to his own head and pulled up a couple locs to ‘show’ to the man.) The man touched Kyle’s hair and said, “Yes, look at your locs little man!” Kyle then touched the man’s hair and was rubbing his hands up and down the man’s long locs. Kyle looked at me and said, “I want big dreadlocs.” The men all started laughing. Owen chimed in, “I want to be a big man. Just like him.” (and he pointed to the man closest to him — who also happened to have long dreds). I said, “You will both be big men someday. But now you have nice dreadlocs. And they are still short. Because you are a boy.” Kyle looked at the man and said, “I have dreadlocs. Just like your dreadlocs. Me and my brother both. We will be big men just like you. We will have big dreadlocks.”
This week the photographer delivered the photos from the boys’ birthday party! For some background on this, click here. Here are some of my favorites…
The boys are out of daycare and Alex is caring for them full-time for the summer. She refers to herself as their “Nanny.” So, I’ve started referring to her as that too. I explained to the boys that a “nanny” is “someone who takes care of you when your mommy and papi are working.” They like the concept. And they are loving the “NO DAYCARE!!!”-life-with-Nanny-Alex. Yesterday, at the end of the day, I said to Kyle, “Kyle, what was your favorite part of your day today?” He said, “My favorite part was my friend Alex. My nanny.”
In our home, I (Heather) am the grill master. Braydon can’t grill to save his life. So it goes. Last night I was grilling shish-ka-bobs on the grill. Owen was playing with a truck on the deck. I said, “Owen, listen to me: Real women grill.” He said, “o.k. mama.” I said, “Owen, real women grill. You remember that. REAL WOMEN GRILL. Now you say it.” He looked up from his truck and said, “Real mamas grill.”
Since returning home from our vacation the boys are playing ALL THINGS VIRGIN GORDA non-stop. If you ask them where they went on vacation they’ll jubilantly exclaim: “Virgin Gorda Island!!!” If you ask them about the trip they’ll tell you about all sorts of things that were important from their point-of-view… such as:
- “Lizards!” Kyle is proud to explain that he “touched one!” But the lizards are so fast, that despite the fact that both boys tried all week to “catch a lizard!”, neither succeeded. And, in fact, only Kyle ever actually touched one. However, Owen will tell you proudly, that he was “this close!” [to touching one]! The boys spent a significant amount of their vacation time “looking for lizards!”
- “Vacation Trees! and polk-a-dots!” Palm trees are called “vacation trees” by the boys. They love them. And they love trying to climb them. Also, despite our best efforts, twinspeak is in full swing when it comes to the word ‘coconuts’… no matter how many times we try to correct them to say “coconuts” both Kyle and Owen refer to coconuts as “polk-a-dots” when in each other’s presence (and only when in each others presence).
- “Salty in the eyes!” Saltwater in the eyes was a constant theme.
- “Hermit crabs” The loved trying to catch hermit crabs… and unlike with the lizards, the boys were often successful at catching them. But, they got pinched by the hermit crabs’ claws (some of these hermit crabs were absolutely huge) often enough to be a bit shy of them by the end of the week!
- “Pelicans” K & O loved watching the pelicans dive beak-first into the ocean for fish.
- “Goats! and chickens!” There were tons of wild goats and chickens all over the island. Regularly we’d see goats and chickens walking on the roads as we’d try to drive without hitting them. This was a very, very big deal for the boys… who loved looking out the windows for the goats and chickens.
- “No seat belts!” Of course there are no seat belt (let alone car seat!) laws on Virgin Gorda. The people there thought we were absolutely crazy for putting the boys in car seats. After a couple days we let it all go… and the boys were free to ride around with no buckles buckled. As you can imagine, this was huge for them. And they loved that!
- “Outside shower!” Our villa had two bathrooms, one attached to each of the bedrooms. The showers in both were outdoors, tucked in amongst beautiful boulder/rock gardens. Showering every evening in the “outside shower” was a highlight for the boys.
- “Huge fish!” All the snorkeling we did was a major highlight.
- “The ferry!” This was, perhaps the highlight of the trip for both Kyle and Owen… riding the ferry from Tortola to Virgin Gorda on the first day, and then back again at the end of our trip. Both boys told us the following (and I quote) numerous times throughout our trip and also have continued to repeat this numerous times since returning home: “I want to drive the ferry. When I am a big man I am going to drive the ferry. I will be the captain. Me and my brother. We will both be driving the ferry. We will be the captains.” While in Virgin Gorda, while boarding the ferry, Owen asked the captain, “Is this your boat?” The man explained that it was not his boat, but he was the driver. Owen said, “I like your big boat!” And then Owen told the captain: “I want to drive your big boat!” The captain looked Owen in the eye and with complete sincerity said, “Little brother, I have a feeling one day you will own a boat much bigger than this one.” It was a poignant moment for me, one that Owen will never remember, but one that I won’t soon forget.
Since coming home the boys’ play is almost 100% focused on playing-out the trip. They ride their tricycles and explain that they are “driving the rental car! to the villa!” They ride their scooters and shout out, “We’re going to the villa!!!” The play with their toy planes constantly pretending that they are “going up in the sky! to San Juan!” and that they are “landing on the runway! at the Tortola airport!” Every object becomes a ferry. The ferry is “going so fast!” and it is always “going to Virgin Gorda!” Every playground is a ferry, and the boys are the captains. I am told to “sit! hold on tight! you’re on the ferry mama! it is going so fast! this ferry is going to Virgin Gorda island! Mama, say ‘good job captain!'” Of course I oblige it all. They walk along the pathway in front of our house and pretend they are “looking for lizards!” (just like they did on the path outside our villa), and that they are “looking for hermit crabs!” The jump onto the floor, pretending to dive into the swimming pool and the ocean. I think the boys had a good time! đŸ˜‰ People have often told us that it is a “waste” to take the boys on such vacations since “they won’t even remember it.” Oh, what hogwash! Of course they won’t remember it. That’s not the point.
We’re back from the most spectacular vacation imaginable. Virgin Gorda is located in the British Virgin Islands, in the Caribbean. It would not be for everybody — that’s for sure. Virgin Gorda is very remote, very undeveloped, and very adventurous… and Virgin Gorda was the perfect place for our family. We had the most amazing, invigorating, awesome, inspiring, adventurous time. It took us a full 12 hours to get there each way (via our car, 1 airport van, 2 airplanes, 1 ferry van, 1 ferry, and 1 rental car — each way). Despite the fact that everyone thought we were crazy for taking twin just-barely-three-year olds there, and despite the fact they were the only non-local children we saw the whole time we were there, our boys were — as always — incredible little travelers (they have not disappointed us on one airplane yet!), and incredibly adventurous little explorers! Our villa was absolutely wonderful, and the island of Virgin Gorda felt like heaven on earth for us. For a full week we were fully immersed in a lively and lovely Caribbean culture where the boys were treated like absolute royalty (within three days of being there the entire island knew Kyle and Owen were there and people would greet them happily everywhere we went), we were in a place where Braydon and I were usually the only “whites” around, and where dreadlocs are commonplace. Plus, we saw some of the most spectacular natural beaches on the planet, the boys learned to snorkel (seriously, they could not have done better!!!!! and they could not have seen more gorgeous tropical fish), we ate fresh grilled and blackened fish right off the boat, and we had a week of perfect family bonding. It truly could not have been better. We feel so fortunate to be in the position to be able to do this kind of thing as a family. Today — to make up for the long blog hiatus — I’m posting 40 of our favorite photos from the trip. Believe me, there are lots more where these came from (!!!), but I’m limiting myself to just 40.
On the beach on the island of Tortola, waiting for the ferry to take us to Virgin Gorda. The boys couldn’t help themselves from putting their feet in the water while we waited. Who could blame them? So I rolled up their pants. And they got soaked. Could there be a better start to a great vacation?!
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The four of us on the “ferry” (i.e., really a very small boat) to Virgin Gorda.
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First morning. The boys woke up, stumbled out of the villa, stripped down, and went straight into the villa swimming pool.
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Friday night we went to the famous Beach BBQ at Leverick Bay. Virtually the whole island goes to this (tourists and locals all), to eat BBQ ribs and listen to “island music.” Kyle and Owen had an absolute blast. The highlight (I think for everyone in attendance, not just our family) was when K & O went up to the lead singer of the band and requested that they play the song “Stir It Up” by Bob Marley. The band was very impressed with the boys’ working knowledge of all things reggae! And, of course, they played it right away and the boys danced center-stage for everyone to see.
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Savannah Bay Beach. Savannah Bay is a perfectly pristine white sand and turquoise water beach. Other than some local families, we were the only ones there… which is par for the course on Virgin Gorda. Rarely did we see another human being on any beach we were at.
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Savannah Bay Beach.
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Savannah Bay Beach.
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Owen.
Pond Bay.
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Pond Bay.
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The boys loved driving in the rental car on the very “bumpy” (unpaved and very steep and often very washed out) roads of Virgin Gorda! They thought it was a blast. And Braydon — our driver for the week — thought it was a blast too. I was just laughing at the whole scene most of the time! The entire island is about 9 miles long and driving on the absolutely crazy roads with absolutely stunning views was part of the adventure for sure!
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Owen swimming in the crystal clear water at Spring Bay Beach.
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The boys playing in the water in a private little cavern they discovered amongst the boulders at a beach called “The Crawl.”
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Exploring the tunnels and caves amongst the boulders near a beach called “The Baths.”
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A salty beach kiss, Heather & Kyle.
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Kyle and Owen after a gorgeous lunch at the famous and exquisite Little Dix Bay Resort.
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Everyday in the late afternoon we stopped in at the Nail Bay Pool/Bar/Restaurant before heading back to our villa. Within a couple days Owen was calling it “The Big Swimming Pool!” and Kyle was calling it “The Drinks Swimming Pool!” Jacquie, the bartender would make the boys special smoothies/milkshakes each day with whatever fresh fruit she had on hand that day. Braydon and I would have pina coladas (or banana coladas, or mango coladas, or papaya coladas…!!!).
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Fan Coral found on the beach at Mountain Trunk Bay.
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Braydon and Kyle at Mountain Trunk Bay.
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Owen climbing out of the rental car at Nail Bay Beach.
Owen, Braydon, Kyle, ready to snorkel at Nail Bay.
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The boys with a breath-taking Caribbean view behind them.
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Kyle & Braydon in the villa swimming pool.
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The boys on the path to Long Bay.
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The boys on the path to Long Bay.
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The boys on the path to Long Bay.
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The boys at Long Bay Beach.
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Kyle and Braydon – a kiss.
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The one time we actually saw other people on the beach — we finally had a chance to get a photo of all four of us when the couple offered to take a picture.
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Kyle & Heather.
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Fooloing around, ready to go out for dinner at The Flying Iguana Restaurant.
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Beach Bums!
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Owen and Heather with snail. A favorite activity for the boys was “looking for snails!”
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Kyle finds a snail.
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Happy Twins!
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Owen & Braydon at the Nail Bay Swimming Pool.
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Sunset at Long Bay, our last night.
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Heading back to Tortola on the ferry. Looking back at Virgin Gorda island.
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The boys climb palm trees – another favorite activity. These trees were at the Tortola airport.
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Heading home, Kyle looks out the window of the airplane heading from Tortola to San Juan.
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