We had a perfect Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day is a semi-strange day for me. I think it is probably true for a lot of adoptive moms. And I think it is probably true for a lot of moms in all sorts of scenarios. For me, Mother’s Day always reminds me of my first Mother’s Day. My first Mother’s Day was also Kyle and Owen’s first birthday. It just happened to fall on the same day. We also (purposefully) had the boys baptized on that day. It was very, very emotional day for me on so, so many levels. So now, on Mother’s Day I can’t help thinking about that first Mother’s Day — about their birthmother (“Mothers” Day), about their baptism day (their baptism was so, so symbolic for me), and about their first birthday (a huge marker in time for our family for a lot of substantial reasons). I also think a lot about waiting mothers on Mother’s Day — mom’s who don’t have their children yet because their adoptions are still in process. I can’t help but remember the heart-break I felt during that time. Last year we were on vacation for my second Mother’s Day and we didn’t really “celebrate” it in any real way. So, this year was kind of a big Mother’s Day for me. It was the first time we really “did” Mother’s Day. Braydon made it perfect. The day started with the baby boys giving me an awesome new sports watch and my husband-partner giving me a beautiful new dress watch. We then went to New Hope and had brunch in our favorite brunch spot, fed the ducks, walked around. The boys took a nice long nap in the car on the way home (a rare treat!), and we spent the rest of the day playing in the yard. I think my favorite part of the day (well, second-favorite… my favorite part of the day was drinking a spicy bloody mary and sharing a huge pile of peel-and-eat shrimp with Braydon on the restaurant patio at brunch…) was after we had eaten brunch our server presented us with a plate full of very fancy desserts. Braydon and I aren’t big sweets fans. But watching Kyle and Owen pass that plate back-and-forth between them was really precious!
Jackson at Kyle & Owen’s Birthday Party Last WeekSaturday we went to Jackson’s Birthday Party. He turned three just two days after Kyle and Owen turned three. The boys are best friends. Jackson and Kyle and Owen have been best friends since the day they met. I remember that day very well. It was spring of 2005. Braydon and I took K & O to the daycare for our first in a series of short visits to prepare our babies for starting daycare in June of that year. We took the boys into the “Baby Room” and we sat on the floor with them. Amidst a whole bunch of babies and little toddlers, there was a cute little blond haired baby boy sitting several feet away against the wall. Within just a minute or two of being at the daycare, Owen got up from my lap and toddled straight across the room right to that baby. He leaned down, touched the blond head, and then hugged the baby boy. Then they both just stared at each other for a few seconds. Owen and the blond haired boy were exactly the same size (they were 11 months old at the time), and although the baby couldn’t walk (K & O walked “early” at 10 months), he was perfectly happy to crawl around with Owen. Soon Kyle joined in too and that was the start of a great friendship! All of the Baby Room teachers, Braydon, and me just watched in total awe. I remember one of the teachers saying, “Oh my gosh! I can just tell — they’re going to be best friends!!!” and Braydon and I just looked at each other and kind of laughed. “Wow!” I said, “Who is that?” And Miss Barb, the Head Teacher told me, “That’s Jackson!” I said, “How old is he?” And Barb told me that he would be turning one on May 10. For the past two years Jackson, Kyle, and Owen have been Best Friends. They see each other every day at daycare. As the daycare staff say, “the three of them are like three peas in a pod.” One thing that has been really interesting is that Jackson seems to be equally close to both K & O, and neither K nor O seem to “claim” him more than the other. I’ve talked about this many times with Jackson’s mom Julie, and with the daycare staff. Everyone agrees that as far as we can tell, the three of them are truly equally close. Of course the boys all have tons of friends at daycare, but interestingly, Jackson was the only kid from daycare that Kyle and Owen wanted at their birthday party! And for the past two years K & O have been the only non-family members invited to Jackson’s birthday parties! Saturday, at Jackson’s Third B-Day Party, the three of them had a blast. It was a “Cars” theme party — and they were in their glory.
Kyle, Jackson, Owen – at Jackson’s Birthday Party Saturday
Jackson & Owen with the “Cars” cake
Kyle & Jackson Kiss with chocolatey-cakey faces (as Jackson’s mom Julie snapped this photo she said to
me, “I can’t wait to show this one at Jackson’s
wedding some day!!!”
I laughed and said, “Who knows?! It
might even be their wedding some day?! “)
To the most beautiful and amazing woman in the world – my incredible wife:
Not only do I appreciate all that you do, I am constantly in awe of you. Our boys are thriving because of your love and care and your daily devotion. Not only are the boys lucky, they are lucky to have you.
You are a better mother than I could even imagine.
Happy Mother’s Day!
O.k., I’ve been “tagged” by Tara at the Livesay Haiti Blog (click here).
Here are the rules: Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Then they list seven other people to tag. People who are tagged need to write on their own blogs about their seven things, their seven “tagged” people, and the rules.
People are doing this all sorts of ways, but I’m going to write 7 random things that most of our blog readers might not know about me (some of our blog readers are close friends and family — they don’t count!!!).
So… here goes… seven things about me:
- There is tons about me that is not on this blog. One huge thing I don’t write much about is that I have an intense career as an academic/professor. I’m a sociologist. I have a PhD, I teach sociology to university students, I do research/scholarship. My first book was published this past August (click here). I’m very passionate about my work. I’m up for tenure right now and yesterday I found out that I’m being recommended for tenure at my university. This is a big deal. As long as all goes smoothly, it will be “official” October 19, 2007.
- Some of my favorite foods are really really bad for me but I’ll admit to them here: nachos, potato chips, french fries, cheeseburgers, flan. Some of my favorite foods are really really good for me but I’ll admit to them here: all kinds of salads, watermelon, yogurt smoothies, steamed broccoli, fresh vietnamese spring rolls.
- It is only because of my job that we live in Bucks County, Pennsylvania (I grew up in New Hampshire, Braydon grew up in Georgia). Braydon and I have never tried to get pregnant. We did not intend to get twins when we adopted. But I can vividly remember that as a teenager I always imagined/daydreamed/hoped that some day ‘when I grew up’ I would live in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, that I would adopt, and that I would have twins.
- For me, the hardest part of being a mom-with-a-big-career is that the biggest thing to “slip through the cracks” is my social life. I love friendship and don’t have a lot of time for my friendships these days. I crave having a good solid group of girlfriends, and I feel that missing in my life right now. That is really very hard for me.
- I am a deeply spiritual person.
- My mother is, and has always been, one of my best friends in the world. My father is, and has always been, one of my biggest inspirations in the world.
- Growing up, my favorite thing to do was sailing. I had a little yellow sunfish sailboat and some of my best memories are of sailing around Lake Ossipee all alone.
I tag these seven people:
- Stacey (Stacey has done it — click here)
- Laura (Laura’s done it*** — click here)
- Lori
- Connie
- Paige
- Amanda (Amanda has done it — click here)
- Jessica S. (Jessica’s done it***, but her blog is private so you won’t all be able to see it. If you have her password you can click here)
***NOTE: I find it FASCINATING that the two to do their’s first are the two Sociologists on the list!!!!!!??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In light of the post below (today’s Love Thursday post about Owen), I just had to post this now as today’s quote of the day…
Tonight at bedtime I was doing what I/we always do — As he laid in his bed I was rubbing Owen’s back and talking to him about the day. As I/we do every night, I went through a play-by-play run-down of what happened today from the time he woke up until bedtime. Then I started to say the same thing I say every night: “Today is all done. Tomorrow is a new day. Your mama loves you. Your papi loves you. Your brother loves you. Your whole family loves you.” Usually at that point I finish with a few more sweet words then kisses good-night, then I walk out and he falls asleep. But after “…Your whole family loves you…” Owen looked up at me and interrupted. “Mommy, my whole family loves me,” he said matter-of-factly. “Yes,” I said, “your whole family loves you.” Then he says, with complete sincerity in his voice, “And I love myself.” I said, “You love yourself.” He says, “Yes, mommy, I love myself. My whole family loves me and I love myself.”
When we first met Owen he didn’t smile much. He was a tough and angry little baby for lots of very legitimate and understandable reasons. It took him a while to come into his own. I remember that in those first few months of mothering him I had the profound feeling that I was literally watching him bloom, watching him blossom. At this point I can honestly say that Owen is now truly the happiest person I’ve ever known — ever — in my entire life. Owen truly loves life. Kyle and Owen both do. For sure. But so much of the time it is just so totally, totally transparent with Owen. For me, Owen embodies so many, many things. One of them is that in his three short years of life so far, Owen — his whole entire self, his whole entire life — is the embodiment of resilience. To me, he is the epitome of transcendence. This photo was taken yesterday afternoon in our yard. I hooked up the hose for the first time this spring. Owen was loving it. But then again, he was loving pretty much every moment of the entire day. Happy Love Thursday everyone!
For the boys’ birthday my parents went overboard, as usual. In addition to a super duper see-saw and a beloved “zip cord” my dad also gave Kyle and Owen Boston Red Sox coats. Wearing Red Sox paraphernalia in our neck of the woods (we are geographically situated deep in Yankees territory) is gutsy. Our next door neighbor, for example, has told us (half-way not jokingly) that it makes her “sick” to see our boys “running around here wearing that Red Sox stuff.” But my father is quite possibly the world’s biggest Red Sox Fan and he expects nothing less of his grandsons than GUTSY. I personally am convinced that in some strange twist of the universe my dad’s twin grandsons being born in 2004 and the Red Sox winning the World Series in 2004 is not a coincidence. MorFar watching Owen hit baseball after baseball in our front yard batting lefty — wearing an authentic Red Sox jacket — quite possibly gives this particular grandfather more pride than the universe of grandparenting pride has previously known. There are people in our life who will just really deeply appreciate this. For those of you (you know who you are!), this post’s for you. Go Sox!
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