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This year it was a “Ball Birthday Party!” The invitations had gone out, the RSVP’s had come in, and long before the party even officially began, Kyle and Owen were officially 2 boys turning 8 on Cloud 9.

The thing about Kyle and Owen is that they notice — and appreciate — everything. They get it. They really do. And that (in large part) is why it is so worth it. I go all-out for them. And they know it. For example, their favorite color is orange (yes, both of them have the same favorite color). A few days before the party I came home with freshly orange-painted toenails (I had gone to get my first pedicure of the season and chosen orange in preparation for my boys’ big day). I know, I know, I know, this is on the level of absolutely-crazy-mother-riduculous-stuff… but the thing is– I hadn’t been home more than five minutes before each of them noticed, and commented on my toenails: “Orange! Mommy! You got your toenails ORANGE!!!” “Yes! for the party!,” I said. And you would have thought I had just given them a million bucks. These boys are special. And I don’t mind telling them that — in even the most silly and untraditional ways. I find all sorts of little ways to do (not just say) “I love you.” And you know what? Those orange toenails… that manicure that lasted a full three weeks long all shiny and bright… every single time I looked down at my feet I thought of my boys and their big day. So, go ahead, and call me crazy. I am to the point where I really don’t care. We’re living this life the best we know how. And one thing is for sure: nobody can ever accuse us of not making the most of it. Live it up baby!

40 kids, along with their families, and a bunch of very-important-people-in-our-lives came to celebrate Kyle and Owen’s 8th birthday. We invited a big old mix of school friends, neighborhood friends, family friends, and — a major highlight for K & O — I invited 8 of my most very favorite students from Lehigh to come help out (8 students that K & O look up to and adore). It was over 100 people total, and it was a grand time. It was a classic, quintessential Kyle-and-Owen-Birthday-Party. And K & O were in their glory.

A ball theme, an 8 theme, and an orange theme were threaded throughout. But the big activity was a huge treasure-hunt type game involving 8 stations of various ball-related action-packed fun challenges. The deal was that upon the whole group completing each station each kid would get a rubber bracelet. When every kid at the party had 8 bracelets each, they’d get to partake in the treasure: Birthday Cake!

Station 1: Parachute with Beach Balls!

Station 2: Throw Balls to Knock Stuff Off a Shelf!

Station 3: Cover Driveway with Chalk-Drawn Balls!

Station 4: Find a Grown-Up to Blow Up Your Punch-Ball-Balloon and Cheer for K & O to Shoot 8 Hoops!

Station 6: How Fast Can You Get a Tennis Ball Passed Around a Circle?…While Also Eating Ice Pops?!

Station 6: Ball Arts!!!

Station 7: Holding Hands, Kick Balls Through the Front Yard!

Station 8: Piñata!!! (Filled with hundreds of Bouncy Balls!)

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After 8 stations, every kid had on 8 bracelets, and so… it was CAKE TIME!!!

And then we sang to Kyle~

And then we ate cake!

Some ate cake in quiet spots… and some ate cake in the sunroom with the music volume turned way, way up — courtesy of Owen, who took it upon himself to initiate an impromptu dance party!

The Ball Birthday Party was a classic K & O birthday party. A lot of fun was had. A lot of rum punch was drank. It was a good, good time.

And of course, no one ever goes home empty-handed from one of these shindigs!

  

And in the wake of the whole thing… there was a big huge mess… and a lot of smiling faces~

It was just exactly what a great big deal celebration should be.

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And then there is their “actual birthday” — that’s what they call it; May 8th. Which, after all the birthday party hoopla, is always relatively low-key. It is anchored, though, with a couple of big traditions– one at the very start of the day, and one at the very end of the day. Tradition #1: end of the bed presents. This year Kyle got a trumpet (rented!), and trumpet lessons. And Owen got an electric piano (with earphones– thank God!), and piano lessons. They’ve been waiting for years to get to take music lessons. We held off purposefully, waiting until we thought they were really, really ready. And they are really, really ready. And they are LOVING trumpet and piano!

And they each got a present from Meera too~

And MorMor and MorFar gave them their first ever tickets to Fenway Park — they’ll be headed to their first game at Fenway this August with MorFar. I love that the few special really big gifts they get are so thoughtful and lovingly given.

This year, for the first time, we kept K & O home from school for the day. I just couldn’t bear to send them off on their birthday; I felt like I needed to stay close to them that day; so I took the day off from work and spent the day with them and Meera and MorMor and MorFar. At their birthday party K & O had received tons of gift cards to their favorite store on the planet– Dick’s Sporting Goods. They had a lot of money to spend, and that’s what they wanted to do on their birthday — go to Dick’s and use some of their gift card money. And so we did. They bought a new baseball bad, they each got a lacrosse stick, and they picked out new sporty outfits in just their style (and clothes they know that their mother would probably never have bought for them! ha!). And then MorMor and MorFar took us out to lunch at K & O’s current favorite restaurant — Kome — for hibachi.

They were supposed to have a baseball game that night, but it got rained out. So we had pizza at home, and put a good dent in the couple of dozen cupcakes that we had planned to bring for their whole Little League team~

May 8, 2012 ended with Tradition #2: sky lanterns, in honor of Kyle and Owen’s birthparents, sent out to the universe, from us, to them, with so many wishes, so much gratitude, and such depth of mixed emotion.

It is ok to have it be everything. It is ok to go all out. It is ok to feel sad and happy at the same time. It is ok for there to be all sorts of really different ways to express love for another. These are some of the lessons I’m learning from Kyle and Owen’s birthdays. What a privilege it is to be their mother.

Happy 8th Birthday Kyle and Owen!

Grilled Teriyaki Salmon, Sautéed Spinach, Brown Rice

When I’m planning our weekly meals I often ask K, O, M, and B for dinner requests. For a long while now, whenever I ask, Owen always requests salmon. He loves salmon, and lately it seems like he just can’t get enough of it. (See the portions in the photos above?… well, last night Owen ate two of those, and then took a third in his lunch for school today; I buy two pounds of salmon– one for Owen, and one for the rest of the family.) His favorite all winter and spring was a salmon I make with a maple-mustard glaze (recipe here). This week, when I asked for requests, he, yet again, of course, enthusiastically requested “Salmon!!” I don’t want to discourage his salmon-loving, but the dilemma for me was two-fold: 1) I have eaten enough of the maple-mustard salmon now to be officially tired of it [plus that feels like a winterish meal to me and we’re marching straight into summer right now], and 2) even though that is a very easy meal to prepare, it does take some prep to make the glaze and let the salmon marinate [plus I cook it in the oven, and this time of year with the heat rising the last thing I want to do is turn on the oven]. So, this week, I switched it up a bit and last night’s salmon supper turned out to be a Super Fast Easy and Tasty (‘SFET’) late spring/early summer supper!!!

Owen loves to order salmon at our favorite local hibachi restaurant. They serve it Japanese-style with a thick teriyaki sauce that Owen goes nuts over. Inspired by that (and not wanting to have to make a sauce from scratch), I went ahead and bought a bottle of decent teriyaki sauce at the grocery store.

Here’s a cheat sheet for this SFET dinner—–

1. Heat up grill on high for a while, letting it pre-heat so that it gets scorching hot.
2. While grill is heating, make brown rice. (I have a rice steamer, so this takes no time/thought at all. If you don’t have a rice steamer yet, get one!!!)
3. Prepare salmon for the grill by slicing a large salmon fillet into large portions, then brushing each lightly with olive oil. Let salmon come to room temperature.
4. Turn grill down to medium, and place salmon, flesh side down (i.e., skin-side up), directly on the grill grate. Close grill cover, and let the salmon get a nice dark sear on it. After about 3 minutes, flip it over. Cover each piece with a thick coat of teriyaki sauce. Close grill cover. After about 3 more minutes, salmon should be done (it should be pink and moist in the center, but seared and crispy on the outside). Take off grill, and let sit.
5. Meanwhile, heat up some garlic and olive oil in a large wok. Quickly sauté a huge batch of spinach (I buy the large 1-pound plastic container of organic spinach at our grocery store and my family easily devours the whole thing). While sautéing, sprinkle with a couple of large pinches of salt. Spinach should wilt down but still have some ‘springiness’ to it.

And voila! There you have it! Owen loved this, and says he loves it even more than the maple-glazed salmon… so we’ll probably eat it weekly (if Owen has any choice in the matter) for the rest of the summer!

Lastly, I also just have to mention these absolutely devine lemon cookies — the “Lemon Crinkle Cookies” that our blog reader, Ashley, gave the recipe for in her comments on a recent post (click here)!!! MorMor made these last week and brought them with her when she came for Meera’s birthday weekend. Last night they were the perfect dessert after our meal, but they are probably just about perfect for any time, any place, any occasion… seriously, these are soooooo good!!! Kyle, especially, loves them! {A big thank you to Ashley! …and to MorMor for making them!}

Meera at her Birthday Party, May 27, 2012

On Monday our baby girl turned 4. She had a “wonderful” (her word) birthday party on Sunday afternoon. The rest of the weekend was spent hanging out with the people she loves most (her family and her MorMor and MorFar). Her birthday always falls around the long Memorial Day Weekend. It feels like a mini-break-from-reality. I hope she remembers her birthdays as dreamy, love-filled, truly “wonderful” times. They sure are for me. I mean, there is the normal folded in there too — the annoyance that her brothers sometimes provoke, the Mama that frequently runs low on patience, the things that don’t go exactly as hoped/planned… but, Meera’s birthday always seems to feel a bit more dreamy, creamy, and soft-edged than regular day-to-day life. It is a little bit of Meera’s spirit, poured out with a thick froth over a few days. It is nice. It is like a steamy, creamy, frothy, sweet cappuccino on a special day; it doesn’t mean the daily dose of straight-up black French Roast is not great… it just means that the special is noticed. The special is special. I hope Meera always feels truly special.

Birthday party postS (because I’m still due for a big post on K & O’s bday too) coming soon. In the meantime, I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that our baby is now 4. Where does the time go? And how on earth did we ever live without her? I cannot grasp the fact that I spent a whole 36 years on this planet before Meera’s precious little soul was in my life. She is JOY personified. She makes our hearts sing.

Happy Birthday Meera Grace! We are eager to see what is in store for your 4-year-old year, and so honored to get to be part of it.

Meera’s favorite shoes are officially worn out. I won’t let her wear them anymore, and after several tantrums over it, she’s finally resigned herself to a new pair of pink summer sandals that she finds acceptable but doesn’t like nearly as much as those old shoes. One of the many, many things I’ve been doing lately is stocking up on summer clothes and shoes for the bambinos. They fit into almost nothing of what they wore last summer. (I am so envious; I so wish that I had some excuse for buying an entirely new wardrobe for myself every single season.) As much as I feel frantic, running around town and surfing the web like a maniac, looking for good deals on decent wardrobe essentials for my three, in between the million other things jam-packed into my calendar, I must admit that I really do like buying for them. And it is always at the surface of my mind that time moves too quickly, and that far too soon these days will be a distant memory, and, despite how crazed I often feel, I really do — at the heart of it — love being a mother of young children. These three bambinos are a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute reminder to me of that—

We’re moving through May at record speed. Too much happening too fast and as a result I’ve been a bad, bad blogger. I’m sorry for that because: a) blogging helps me to stay sane [thus I’m even less sane than usual lately], and b) I know there are people out there reading this blog who I’m letting down when I slack off [my apologies to our family, friends, and regular readers who make me feel like our life is something special enough to take time to read about].

Here is a sampling of some of my excuses:

• Uh, yeah, so, we’re selling our house. (If you don’t already know about that, you can read about it here). That is a huge time-consuming, emotion-consuming, Clorox-and-Pledge-consuming task. OMG. As everyone who has ever sold a house knows, every time we have a showing we are like crazy people getting the house spic-n-span and show-worthy. We are in a constant state of stress over this whole ball of wax.
• We’re not just selling our house, we’re preparing (mentally, physically, emotionally) for moving onto campus as a Faculty Family in Residence. So, yeah, we have a lot going on. The apartment that Lehigh is preparing for us is in movement. Demolition (gutting of the apartment) is done, and construction is beginning. They are going all out for us to make 800 square feet as livable as possible for our family of five. (Don’t worry, I’m documenting it all, and will be blogging about it eventually.) We’ll see how we feel a year from now. But right now we’re feeling excited, anxious, and curious about how this will all go down. Mainly, though, Braydon and I are the types who — once we’ve made a decision — just want to get the show on the road. So, we are chomping at the bit to get our house sold and get a move on.
• Braydon and the kids gave me a Kindle for Mother’s Day. It has changed my life. I am now in an unprecedented phase of obsessive reading-for-pleasure. I am only slightly ashamed to admit that I’m fully immersed in the world of Ana and Christian (the Shades of Grey books). It has been a long, long, long time since I’ve read anything non-work-related. It feels strange to be doing it. When I’m reading at 9pm when I should be blogging, and at 11pm when I should be unwinding, and at 1am when I should be sleeping, I’m cursing my husband for this dang Kindle. And he’s smiling ear-to-ear to see me doing something — for once! — for myself. Dang Mother’s Day gift!
• K & O’s birthday came and went, and we have about 1500 photos to prove it, and I’m painstakingly sorting through those photos to try to determine how on earth I’m going to make a blog post of their best birthday party ever. It was sunny and gorgeous with blue skies, and the whole party was outdoors, so the photos are ridiculously good, and I’m having trouble narrowing down which to choose to include in the blog. This is a long, long process folks. Only bloggers (who use lots of photos) could truly understand. Believe me when I say: TIME CONSUMING. (In the meantime, for a sneak peak you can check out our friends The Petsch’s blog by clicking here.)
• And yes… right on the heels of that huge extravaganza, we have Meera’s birthday brewing. So, I’ve been in Full-On-Maximum-Capacity-Birthday-Planning-Mode for this entire month. I will not complain. Because I LOVE IT. (Nothing much makes me happier than making birthday parties for my bambinos.) But it does definitely get in the way of blogging (a person can only do so much… unfortunately).
• Oh, and yes, I have a job too. A job that — much to the confusion of many, it seems — does not go on hiatus in the summer. One of my biggest, hugest, most blood-boiling pet-peeves is people saying to me at this time of year: “So, you must be happy to be done for the summer!” Oh dear Lord. “Done for the summer”….?…. Professors out there, are you with me on this? Does this just absolutely make you want to slap people (or run away screaming)??? Heaven help me.
• Anyhooooo….. we’ve been busy.

These days we are spending a ridiculous amount of time at baseball games. 2 games a week, 3 hours each from start to finish, plus getting-dressed-and-ready and driving to-and-from, and-packed-up-with-Gatorade-and-Big-League-Chew and stuff-to-keep-Meera-busy and food/drinks (games start at 5:45 so we are right in Prime Time Dinner Hour), not to mention LAUNDRY, means we’re talking about somewhere in the vicinity of 10 hours of week devoted to I-8 Little League. But this is one thing where it is easily plain to see that it is worth it. Our boys are lovin’ it. And they are so, so good at baseball. So, twice weekly we get to watch Kyle hit humungous hits and run like crazy around the bases, and we get to watch Owen pitch so well that it sometimes almost makes me cry watching him so cool under pressure at the center of the field.

And Meera just rolls with it. All of it. It is amazing. And her favorite thing to do, still, is to color. Which she does, religiously, every single day.

Our pool opened. Which is a major project. The start-of-season pool opening and pool cleaning is just huge.

But this too is a thing where it is easily plain to see that it is worth it. (When we do move to campus, our pool is going to be the #1 thing that we miss most.)

And there is the daily grind. The homework (OMG I hate homework! I hate it much more now than I ever did when I was the one doing it!)

The lunch-packing (by this time of year who doesn’t hate the whole lunch-making routine????).

We are counting the days until school is out for the summer. Today is Field Day, the telltale sign that summer vacation is not too far away now.

We’ve been doing more-than-the-usual amount of socializing too. This time of year seems to overflow with parties, gatherings, and get-togethers. We’ve had the pleasure of some great times with friends these past few weeks. Multiple birthday parties, a couple of dinner parties, and invitations to spend time with friends that have made us very, very happy.

And there has been some puddle jumping thrown in there too. And some just plain exhaustion.

    

I wish I could say that I’ll get better about blogging over the next few days. But I know that I won’t. Because we have a girl who is about to turn 4. And most of my energies over the next few days will be devoted mainly to that.

So, there you have it. Excuses, excuses.

Meera today before heading off to school; Meera today grocery shopping after school

Meera is soon to turn 4 years old, and she suddenly seems so much like a little person. Her babyishness is just about all gone, and all toddler resemblance is quickly vanishing too. She wants to be a “big girl” and she lets us know it all the time. She dresses and undresses herself, she unbuckles her own carseat, can get herself a glass of water, and does a hundred other things “all by herself” too.

With this she is also quickly developing a newfound sense of her own identity. It is becoming very important to her — and important to her that others see it too — that she’s a Girl (capital ‘G’). She points out to me often that we (she and I) are “the two girls” in the family, and she contrasts this with “the three boys.” Heading off to school this morning she decided she wanted to wear a scarf, “just like Mommy,” and was quick to point out that “the two girls are wearing scarfs!” and “the three boys aren’t wearing scarfs!”

Also before school this morning I was talking to all three kids about the plan for the day. I had to go grocery shopping this afternoon after work, and I gave all three of them the option of choosing to either: 1) have me pick them up from school and then go to the grocery store with me, or 2) stay after school at After School Program and I’d pick them up when I was done grocery shopping. Kyle and Owen both immediately chose option #2. Meera, on the other hand, quickly jumped at the opportunity to go to the grocery store with me. She immediately announced, “the two girls are going grocery shopping!” and “the three boys aren’t going grocery shopping!”

Today, as soon as we got home from school/work, Owen went straight to the kitchen table, pulled out some colored pencils, and started drawing. I was starting dinner in the kitchen, Braydon wasn’t home from work yet, and Kyle and Meera were outside playing. The house was quiet, and Owen was focused on drawing for quite awhile. He has been drawing a lot more lately, but still this is new and unusual and noteworthy behavior (anyone who has read this blog much knows that K & O have never been sit-at-the-table-and-draw kind of boys! understatement!). I tried to just play it cool (as I have been with his recent dabbling in drawing/coloring), and went about my business in the kitchen. After a while Owen jumped up from the table and ran off to play outside with his brother. I was so curious to go see what he had drawn. When I got to the table, I found this.

As a mother, nothing gives me more pride than seeing my kids exude sincere self-confidence. But as a white mother of black boys, the overwhelming pride I feel in witnessing their self-confidence is impossible to articulate.

I picked up the drawing, examined every bit of it closely, and then thought to myself, “I think we’re doing o.k.”

For now, for now, at least for now, we are doing o.k.

Today they let me sleep in until 9am. It was rare and heavenly and so appreciated! Over coffee they gave me gifts — handmade cards and school Mother’s Day projects that only a mother of young children can receive — them beaming over it with pride and happiness almost as much as me. It is a precious time, this certain stage, of motherhood. Braydon gave me a Kindle (I’m finally converted!), and tonight I’m already 2 chapters into my first book. After coffee and gifts we went on a 12-mile bike ride. Our family record to-date, 12 miles is far with two just-barely-8-year-olds and a 3-year-old-being-towed-in-a-bike-trailor. It was sunny and gorgeous and the perfect temperature. We stopped only once, for water and peanut butter crackers, but the rest of the time we just biked and biked and biked. There were wild purple flowers blooming everywhere — my favorite color. The boys were convinced they were blooming just for me. After the ride I watched Meera play on the playground with a friend she instantaneously made right there on the spot. I was proud of her outgoing nature and ability to smile so freely and play so happily and make someone else so happy. Kyle and Owen wandered off to join in a pick-up volleyball game amongst a group of college-aged boys. The girlfriends of the players fell in love with K & O and offered them popsicles. They gladly accepted, but only if they could have one for their sister. I was proud of their outgoing nature and ability to smile so freely and play so happily and make someone else so happy. My kids are pretty awesome. I let myself see that today — deliberately I let myself — and tried to not let worrisome thoughts and concerns enter my head (am I doing right by them? am I good enough? can I do this? are they ok? — I tried to not let those incessant thoughts scoot in). It was nice to do that for a day– to just let myself see them for the pure awesomeness that they are, and just be proud of it. A gift to myself. We then went for a “Linner” (our favorite sort of meal: the late lunch/early dinner… the “Linner”). We sat outside at a chain Mexican restaurant that we know has great cheesy (literally and figuratively) queso dip. We dipped our chips and ate and drank and talked about the future and reminisced about the past. We were the best version of us today. It was great. It was the best Mother’s Day ever.

(p.s. don’t worry– big 8th Birthday post, and lots of catch-up, brewing)

Happy Birthday K & O!

Today these two boys turn 8. Our gratefulness for them in our lives overflows daily. 8 years on this planet, and already they’ve made such a huge impact on so many people. We get excited thinking of what the future holds for these two. They are two deep, bright orange, abundantly alive souls — they live life to the fullest — and they are a privilege to know and love.

Happy Birthday Beautiful Boys!

(Saturday they had the best birthday party ever! Mega post coming soon!)

(Owen & Kyle, 4/29/12, at an event on campus at Lehigh, photo credit: Lehigh Photographer, T. Harnett)

These two big boys are about to turn 8 years old. They challenge me daily with their antics, make my blood pressure sky-rocket with their dare-devilish pranks, and keep me up at night worrying about their futures. They also make my heart melt, give me enormous hope for this world, and fill me with a level of pride I could not possibly have previously known. I could not be more in love with them. They are my dream come true. They are on the verge of turning 8. We are getting ready for a huge birthday bash. And we are thinking a lot about what might have been happening eight years ago at this time in Cite Soleil, Port au Prince, Haiti.

At the kitchen counter, before school today, taken by Owen, with Papi’s iPad.