MLK Day is a “Day On” at K & O’s school. The kids do community service all day, then each class participates in an all-school-assembly where they put on performances of MLK/Civil-Rights/Human-Rights related songs/poetry/etc. It is an inspiring day. The video in post below is of K & O’s class performance of the song “We’re All Swimming to the Other Side.” They had practiced the song for weeks, and had memorized every word. K & O were way into it. They are now, at age 7, quite sophisticated in their understanding of who MLK Jr. was, the importance of his life’s work, and the basic history of slavery-discrimination-the Civil Rights Movement-and the continuing struggle today for civil and human rights for all people. I’m proud of them for being so pro-active in their own grappling with these issues. They understand that the truth is that our family would not have been “possible” (legally at least) not all that long ago. It is all a lot to think about, and we have a long road ahead, but this year’s MLK Day made me feel like we’re at least on the right track.

Zoe, Shelli, and Lori joined us for the MLK event, and then we all went to Friendly’s afterward. It was a perfect way to spend King Day.

(photo credit: the Petch’s blog!)

I had to go away for a quick work trip. I was only gone one night. But still I was pathetically, ridiculously, embarrassingly homesick. Not for my house, but for my home. (Home is where my four are.) Every time it is the same old thing– driving to the airport takes all of my will power; I’d do just about anything to come up with a good excuse to be able to cancel; the lump in my throat is so big I can hardly swallow. I don’t know how mothers of young children who have to do heavy business travel do it. It kills me to go away from home. And I miss Braydon terribly when I’m gone. I hate work trips.

But then I’m luxuriating in the independence and freedom of a whole 3 hours on a plane with nobody to worry about except for myself. And then, even better, I’m in the hotel. Last night, upon checking in, I got a free upgrade to the club level. Gosh do I ever love the club level (the food and drink spreads! the array of fine magazines! the cushy couches! the wi-fi! the all-you-can-drink-cappacino! the service!)… a hotel alone (let alone club level!) is like heaven for a mom. I ordered room service last night. And ate it, alone, with not one interruption, while watching the Travel Channel. We don’t get the Travel Channel at home. I was in the lap of luxury. And then I slept all night long. And got up with only one person (me) to get ready. I love work trips.

As the plane was about to land I felt the re-entry start to kick in. I was away for less than 48 hours, but I know what I’m in for when I return. Everything needs to re-balance and get back on track after Mommy’s been away. Back to the nitty gritty details of it all. Meera is always the biggest challenge– she hates it when I go away, and I pay for it upon my return. And I was running on fumes, having just poured myself into the work I had gone away for. It was freezing cold on the ground in Pennsylvania and I had trouble finding my car keys buried deep in my luggage. I hate work trips.

I drove straight from the airport to surprise Meera by picking her up early at daycare. The look on her face when I walked in the door was precious. She ran into my arms and with her whole tiny 3-year-old body she just hugged me for the longest time. And then she looked up at my with her huge blue eyes and said, “I missed you on your work trip Mommy. I so happy you is home!” I took her to Starbucks for a pink cake pop and a chocolate milk (and I desperately needed coffee). We sat there chatting like only we can. It was sweet and I soaked up every second of it, trying to notice every detail that I had missed while I was gone, and remembering how much I love being home. I love work trips.

For three days now the boys have had these airplanes and space shuttles carefully arranged on the floor in the foyer. At first I thought they were playing “lining up for the runway” (the same play they’ve been playing with their toy airplanes for the past few years). I soon learned, however, that this is a whole different ball game (so to speak). According to K & O, the airplanes and the space shuttles are both in their separate team “huddles,” talking strategy for their big rival match against each other. K & O spend lots of time on the floor making sure that every plane/shuttle is just so, pointing them in precisely the right direction, and making sure that everyone is accounted for. It seems we have ushered in a new era of play.

Well, desperate times call for desperate measures. We’re back to bribery Earning Charts to deal with bedtime modify behavior.

If truth be told, at this point, Kyle typically has no issues with bedtime behavior. He’s our spirited little eager beaver Type-A perfectionist. He aims to please (often to a fault), and please he does (at least when it comes to going-to-bed). Owen and Meera, however, have no problem making up for at least their’s plus their brother’s fair share of bad-bedtime-behavior. So, mainly for their sake (and especially for Owen’s sake, who continues to struggle with bedtime in a big way), we’ve resorted to pulling out the big guns once again: The J-M Bedtime Behavior Earning Charts. In exchange for a full week of “good bedtime behavior,” the bambinos can earn “something extra fun” on the the weekend.

First up in in 2012, getting to choose the week’s earned activity on behalf of the threesome: Owen. He announced right at the start of the week that he wanted to go to the climbing wall. Going to our local indoor rock climbing gym in the dead of winter has been one of our favorite cold-weather activities since the boys first climbed four Januarys ago (click). So, after a week of working his tush off at bedtime, Owen’s goal of a rock-climbing trip came true.

Owen was psyched! As was Meera (who climbed, for real, for the first time ever — at precisely the same age that her brothers first climbed). Turned out that Kyle, however, in a strange twist (he’s usually The Fearless One), was really nervous. The climbing became not just a great Earning Chart reward, but also a great learning experience for all three bambinos. Owen got to feel gratified for earning something for him and his siblings that he had worked very hard for; Meera got a huge self-confidence boost by doing something most 3-year-olds would never attempt (or get the chance) to do; and Kyle got to experience the satisfaction of putting himself out there and conquering a fear. And for us as parents… it was just so great to stand back and watch the three of them climb.

My first big meeting of 2012 was bright and early Thursday morning. I was, as usual, in a rush. Despite my vows to myself to begin the new year being “less rushed,” I was, unfortunately, just as rushed as I was ‘last year’. Any working mom knows the morning craze: trying to get everyone up and out the door for the day (including self), frantically trying to apply mascara while pro-actively working to avoid a toddler tantrum and re-actively shouting “hurry up! we’re not going to be late today!”, screaming to the kids to “brush your teeth!” while screwing on the top of my coffee travel mug and clearing breakfast bowls off the table all at the same time, packing lunch boxes and backpacks and work-bags and everything else. You get the drift; it is just crazy. My meeting was an important one, and with some big-wigs, but casual dress was appropriate, since we are still officially-in-between-semesters. In my mad-rush-to-get-everyone-up-and-out-the-door, I somehow, unbeknownst to me, put two different shoes on my feet. It wasn’t until after the meeting, as I was walking back to my car, that I happened to look down and realize that I had different Danskos on each foot. I just about died. After I swallowed my pride, I laughed at myself, and then took this picture in the parking lot. My kids were all dressed to a ‘T’ that day, but me… as usual… I was lacking in the fully-put-together department. 2012 is off to a great start for this working mom (note: sarcasm).

While many people in the world celebrate January 1st as New Year’s Day, Haitians all over the planet also celebrate January 1st as Haiti’s Independence Day. The tradition is to celebrate the anniversary of Haiti’s becoming the world’s First Black Republic by eating a very special food, Soup Joumou. Soup Joumou is a thick pumpkin/squash based-soup that is delicious. But it is also symbolic. The story is that enslaved Haitians were prohibited, by their slave-owners, from eating Soup Joumou, a traditional favorite food of the Haitian people. After a hard-fought 13-year uprising against their French “masters,” the Haitian people won their own independence back, and celebrated by eating their special soup in the streets and town centers throughout their country. Kyle and Owen were born in 2004, the year of the 200th anniversary of Haiti’s Independence. And for all those 200 years, and through until today, Haitians in Haiti and Haitians throughout the Haitian diaspora, have eaten Soup Joumou on January 1. This year I made Soup Joumou for the first time, and we celebrated Haitian Independence Day like other Haitian-American families do… by filling our bellies with Soup Joumou and talking about the meaning, importance, and symbolism of January 1 for Haitians everywhere. K & O took leftover Soup Joumou to school for lunch this week too, and told their teacher and their friends the story of this very special soup. Happy January 1!

We’ve spent the past two New Year’s Eves with the Slavins in Connecticut. That is a tradition we love and look forward to all year. So when the Slavins decided to head to Australia for the holidays, we were lost as to how to spend our NYE without them, all alone, on the other side of the planet, far far away from our favorite Aussie-American family. How dare they?! (actually, we didn’t blame them one bit, we’d jump right on the plane with them if we could swing it. plus, they have their new baby boy Callan to show off to all of their Australian friends and relatives. and there is the allure of the sunny Australian beach Christmas pulling them over there to the other side of the earth. really, who could blame them?)

Given that we fully expect to spend most every other NYE with the Slavins, we didn’t want to do anything too precedent-setting this year. But we also didn’t want to just let NYE pass us by either. We decided that we would spend New Year’s Eve Day in New York City. And we are so glad we did! NYE in NYC! The last day of the year in The Big Apple!

Our day trip was designed with a mission: to see firsthand the precise place where the ball drops in Times Square on New Year’s Eve.

We parked at our usual place in Hoboken, then took the train the rest of the way in, purposefully planning to get off a few blocks away from Times Square so that we could do some sight-seeing and city-walking. Much to the bambinos’ delight, we took a route that passed right by Macy’s famous holiday window displays. The last time we did the Macy’s holiday windows was 2006, Meera wasn’t born yet, and K & O don’t even remember it. Those windows sort of take your breath away… you can’t help but be just blown away by them. And they seem to get more and more elaborate all the time. Truly amazing.

Along our route we also encountered an awesome street drummer (K & O have always loved this kind of drumming, especially since their 5th Birthday Party). The bambinos rocked out to the drumming, dancing in the street for all the world to see. Soon enough it was not clear who the crowd was watching more– the drummer, or our kids.

Side note: interestingly enough, as we began to walk away a young Asian guy very pointedly asked Kyle and Owen a question. They didn’t seem to understand what he was asking, and I couldn’t hear him over the drumming, so I went closer to try to make out what was going on. He was smiling and looking very friendly asking Kyle and Owen, “Is that drummer your father?” And K & O were looking at him in complete bewilderment, not having any idea how to respond. I quickly cleared it up by saying very clearly, “No! That is not their father! THAT [pointing to Braydon, who was right there with us] is their father!!!” The guy looked stunned and said, “No way!” And I said, “Yes way!” K & O wanted to know what that was all about, and as I explained it to them, we all sort of laughed and shook our heads. (what else are we supposed to do?) The point of this story is not that anything too strange or disturbing occurred (we get this kind of thing all the time, we are used to it), but rather that it even happens right smack dab in the middle of one of the most racially, ethnically, and culturally diverse places on the planet.

Anyhooo… moving on…

A day in NYC just wouldn’t be a day in NYC without hot dogs from a street vendor (or, more accurately, it just wouldn’t be a day in NYC without us buying hotdogs for our kids from a street vendor)~~

Eventually we found it: the place where the New Year’s Eve ball drops in Times Square~~

Times Square is always crazy, but it was even crazier than usual on New Year’s Day. We were shocked by how many people were already staking out their spots for the night, how much police presence there was on the ground, and how intense the energy there was already. We had to keep Meera on Braydon’s shoulders because the crowd was already too thick for her to be able to manage walking. We didn’t stay long, but it was very cool to see the precise location where we’d watch the ball drop on our t.v. later that night!

Next we headed downtown, in pursuit of a dumpling feast at one of our favorite restaurants on earth. And, much to the thrill of the bambinos, we got to ride the subway to Chinatown!!! (For them, the trip to NYC would be worth it just to ride the subway.)

I don’t think we’ve ever brought the bambinos into the city without stopping in at Joe’s Shanghai. They’ve grown up eating there. And they know, full well, it is worth the wait. This time, it was a 40 minute wait. We don’t even bat an eye at that — 40 minutes goes by in a flash when you’re in the middle of Chinatown! So much to see and do.

And then, the dumplings. We ordered 4 steamer-baskets of dumplings this time (we learned from our last visit that 3 was not enough). I cannot describe the eating frenzy that is K & O eating Joe’s Shanghai soup dumplings. They love those things like there is no tomorrow. It is an acquired taste, and Meera is officially acquiring it. After the 4 orders of dumplings were totally devoured (plus our usual string beans and noodles), K & O declared that “next time we need to order 5!” That is a lot of dumplings.

Before we knew it, the day was ending and it was time to head home. Our strategy was to get out of the city before things got too wild. As we were getting off the train in Hoboken to head to our car, we stopped to talk to some cops who were on the street gearing up for a very busy night with their police-dogs. As the bambinos checked out the dogs the cops joked with Braydon and I about how we were making a good move by getting out of there when we were. While it still feels like quite a new era of our lives (heading home for New Year’s Eve), we would not trade it for the world. And while it was definitely humbling on New Year’s Eve to be walking away from the city (literally and figuratively), and going against the crowd (literally and figuratively), there was nothing we would have rather been doing.

5:00 pm, New Year’s Eve 2011, the J-Ms head home~~

And so, we went home, got Meera to bed, played checkers and did mazes, and played a rousing game of ‘HORSE’-basketball in the kitchen. We then spent the last couple hours of 2011 sitting in our family room drinking champagne (and sparkling lemonade) and eating bbq potato chips, and watching the ball drop, live from the very spot we had been earlier that day in Times Square. It was the first time K & O stayed up until midnight on New Year’s Eve. Surely we’ll never be able to get them to sleep before midnight on NYE again.

2012 is going to be a big year for us. Lots on the horizon as we plan to set out on some brand new adventures and embark on new chapters to our story. Happy New Year!

watching the bambinos play, from the kitchen window

This week — the one between the Christmas holiday and the New Year holiday — is always a heavy-duty-mixed bag for me. For various reasons (and some combination of: 1] not having childcare during this particular week and, 2] me having a career that includes a very flexible work schedule), for every one of my years of mothering I’ve ended up staying home with the bambinos during this week. This is always on the heels of our traditional trip to New Hampshire for Christmas (so I’ve already been with them 24×7 for at least a week going into this week). And that week (the Christmas trip) comes on the heels of several weeks of pre-Christmas craze, the result of which is that I am utterly drained. And yet I set myself with very high expectations — looking forward, all fall long, to this week at home alone with my bambinos. Then it comes, and I am exhausted, and I am all over the map with my emotions. This week is like no other during the year. It is an intense and wild roller-coaster of emotion for me that goes something like this:

• There is absolutely nowhere else in the entire world that I’d rather be right now than with them, doing this.
• Oh.My.God. I’d.Rather.Be.Anywhere.But.Here.
• I love them I love them I love them I love them. Could they be any more adorable? Oh.My.God. I.Love.Them.So.Freaking.Much.
• I’m going to die. I cannot do this. I am going stir crazy. Cabin Fever. Get me outta here. I cannot go on like this.
• I am about to explode I love them so much. I could play with them forever. There’s nothing better than playing checkers with your own kids. Or princesses.
• I cannot believe I’m playing princesses. I hate this. I never did this as a child. Why do I have to do this now? I’ve always hated checkers too.
• They are soooooooo cute. I want to remember this moment forever. I looooooove being a mommy!
• I’ve heard of women who just can’t cope and just walk out and just leave it all. I totally get it.
• I’ve waited all fall for this week, and it is just as awesome as I hoped it would be!!! Even better!
• Oh the food production. They are bottomless pits. I swear. I am SO SICK AND TIRED OF PRODUCING FOOD.
• I love feeding my children. There is nothing better in the world than feeding my kids good healthy food. I am so gratified by being a mother.
• Oh my inbox. My ever-loving-inbox. Is overflowing. Oh the things that are slipping through the cracks. How will I ever catch up??? How? How? How?
• Oh screw the inbox. It does not matter. This –these kids– this is what matters. This is all that matters.
• I could never, ever, ever be a stay at home mother.
• God, I wish I was a stay at home mother.
• I am THE WORST mother on the entire planet.
• I am THE BEST mother on the entire planet.
• How many more hours/minutes until Braydon comes home? He needs to walk in the door RIGHT NOW.
• Braydon is so missing out. He has no idea how much he’s missing out on.
• God, I wish I was Braydon. I’d give anything to go to work right now.
• God, I miss out on so much when I’m at work. I wish I had the guts to quit my job.
• How many more hours until they go to bed? White wine or red? Maybe a cosmo.
• There is absolutely nowhere else in the entire world that I’d rather be right now than with them, doing this.
• Oh.My.God. I’d.Rather.Be.Anywhere.But.Here.

Judge me if you will. But, that’s how it goes. It just goes that way. And somehow, each year, it takes me by surprise. The ups and downs, the highs and lows, the incredible energy and incredible exhaustion of this particular week. By last night I was tearing my hair out, crawling in my own skin, literally counting the hours until the boys went back to school. And yet, this morning, as I packed up their backpacks and kissed them goodbye, I had the hugest lump in my throat, on the verge of tears, in genuine agony over the idea of how many hours it would be until I saw them again.

This week we’ll be trying to get back into our groove after a two week hiatus from all-things-that-resemble-any-kind-of-routine. And while we welcome the return of our rhythm, we also hate to say goodbye to these past two weeks of full-time-togetherness. Yes, we drive each other crazy. But we love each other like crazy cakes too. Mixed emotions x5.

These crazy kids. They drive me nutty. But geesh, do I ever love ’em to pieces~~

After the Christmas food binge, this week always includes a strong desire to eat fresh and clean and get back on track~~

“Sporty clothes” the entire week. Even while pushing their “baby” in the (toy) stroller (and multi-tasking with video making with their new Flip cameras). Even while working on their Christmas Thank You Notes~~

And then there’s Meera. How did I (the sociologist mother) get such gendered children? No, don’t answer that. It is a rhetorical question. While the boys played basketball all week, Meera spent most of the week quietly focused on fine-motor-artistic-endeavors~~

Tomorrow Meera goes back to school (daycare). Which signals the official final end to this week-long-roller-coaster-of-emotion. I’ll get back to work. Things will fall back into place. And then I’ll start daydreaming about when I’ll have a whole week with them again. See?— it is a roller coaster.

Will post soon about our week-between-Christmas-and-New-Year, our New Year’s Eve, and our January 1! We have been relishing these past few days of out-with-the-old-and-in-with-the-new, reflecting a bit on the past, and getting psyched up for lots coming up in the new year (oh boy do we have some excitement brewing!!!). In the meantime, here is Meera, with the months of the year (click play)! Lots to come in the upcoming 12 months of 2012! Happy New Year!!!

The J-Ms wishes for the world, 2011:

• peace everywhere (Owen)
• shelter for everyone (Kyle)
• happy for people (Meera)
• JOY for all (H & B)

It is 10:30 p.m. on December 25, 2011, and I can officially say: we had our best Christmas ever! (I know, I say that every year, but really, this one was it.) We hope your holiday season has been as good as ours. And we are sincerely wishing for peace, shelter, happy, joy for all! As always, thank you for reading!

The J-M 12 Days of Christmas!

…my true loves gave to me…

Christmas Eve!

Generations of tradition; life-times of tradition; traditions being taught; traditions being learned; traditions passed down, tweaked, changed, and followed. This is, for us, the most tradition-filled day of our year.

The centerpiece of our day: a campfire in MorMor and MorFar’s back yard. Roasted hot dogs and an “outdoor refrigerator”; friends and neighbors stopping by; glogg and s’mores; playing in the woods and field~~

The Christmas Eve finery~~

The centerpiece of the Swedish Christmas Cultural Tradition: The Swedish Smorgasbord~~

The centerpiece of the Lutheran Christmas Religious Tradition: Christmas Eve Church Service~~

The centerpiece of the late night: into pjs, notes and cookies for Santa, and MorFar’s reading of The Night Before Christmas~~

“‘Happy Christmas to all! And to all a good-night!'”

…my true loves gave to me…

A jam-packed day-before-Christmas-Eve-Day day!

A day of extreme fun, with family.

First tubing…

…then off to the Mountain Coaster!

…a late lunch at Flatbread (we crave this pizza all year long!)

…then… The Polar Express!!!

“Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see.” ~The Conductor, from The Polar Express