The good news: Kyle’s surgery went perfectly today. He was a brave, brave boy with his brother by his side every step of the way. The surgeon is extraordinary and did fabulous work in the OR. The nurses all doted over our boys, telling us what amazing kids they are, remarking on their obvious close twinship, and raving about what an excellent patient Kyle is. As far as Kyle and Owen are concerned, the lump is out and the whole ordeal is over and done with for good.
The other news: The rest of us, who know a bit more about these things than any seven year old ever should, now sit and wait for the pathology results.
Thank you to the best blog readers in the whole universe. Your thoughts and prayers, emails and comments were/are so appreciated!
O & K pre-op:
O & K post-op:
Kyle back at home, playing with MorMor while waiting for dinner (Owen was swimming in the pool with Meera and Papi while I cooked Kyle’s requested meal— homemade macaroni and cheese):
Tonight we prayed to God, and to Kyle and Owen’s ancestors, and to their birthmother up in Heaven to please look out for us and give us strength tomorrow. Long story short: very recently we discovered a lump under one of Kyle’s armpits. Tomorrow (Thurs) he is having surgery to remove it. It will be biopsied to determine what it is. We have no family medical history for Kyle and Owen… our doctors, while conservative, are determined to take no chances… and the lump (and its location) are disconcerting… they are being aggressive for our boy. We have the best pediatric surgeon in our area, we have a Heaven-sent pediatrician, and we are grateful. We are calm and optimistic; we are confident that this is nothing serious. But let’s be real: we’re scared out of our minds. Kyle, who has been handling all of this just great, had a very rough nervous-anxious day today. The surgery tomorrow is outpatient, and will hopefully be quick and relatively painless (although requires general anesthesia… and no parent ever likes that). Both Owen and Kyle were absolutely adamant that they wanted Owen to come to the hospital for the day. Although the hospital’s protocol is that no children are allowed for such things, given the scenario, and all things considered (and upon seeing the beyond-close-knit-twinship between K & O at the pre-operative appointment), they did agree that they’d overlook the rules in order for Owen to come. So, the four of us will be going to the hospital tomorrow. MorMor is here to take care of Meera for the day and do daycare drop-off and pick-up (how many times can I say it? Thank God for MorMor). Anyway… this is all just to say…
Prayers, faithful meditations, uplifting thoughts, and calls to the spirits/ancestors/heavens, ET. AL. would be much appreciated. We know you’re out there reading. Thank you dear readers.
Hopeful in Pennsylvania, ~Heather
One week after Meera turned three, her best friend Jewel turned three! Meera and Rhea joined Jewel and her cousins to celebrate. It was a blast of a birthday party for these three 3-year-olds-going-on-13-year-olds!
Over the last couple weeks, I have been able to bond more with our boys. I’ve been spending some quality one-on-one time with them as a pair. Mainly since I have been working so much and been so distracted, we thought it was getting critical that I did something. And it’s been working.
Heather spends so so so much time actively engaging and doing so much for our kids and family. She has a tremendous emotional bond with our kids that is beautiful. But at the same time, there is something about spending time with me that is so incredibly powerful. To have a connection with their father is a huge deal for sons.
There has been better behavior with them, and toward me, more cuddles, more affection, less general anxiety. Just by simply spending a little (and not even that much) more time with my boys. It should be an enormous lesson.
And though I have been spending more time with just Kyle and Owen, I stil have not been spending much time one-on-one. You know, with three kids, that’s just hard to do. But with First Friday, it’s really helped.
This past weekend was my first First Friday – we did all three kid’s with Heather first – and Kyle and I got to have a nice nice nice nice nice nice night on the town.
Kyle is our Italian food connoisseur, lover of a variety of pastas and breads. Heather found a great hole-in-the-wall place in South-side Bethlehem, “Sal’s Brick Over Pizza and Italian Restaurant” and we made the most of it. We loved Sal’s – everything made from scratch – reminded me of our Italian landlord from Boston (who regularly cooked for us great-grandmother style). Freshly baked Italian bread with garlic sauce, blackened mahi-mahi with a crab and scallop sauce.
In a new twist, Kyle designed his own dish. His normal penne Alfredo (which in Sal’s case, was more like a slightly cheesy cream sauce). But he asked them to sauté (or in his words, “cooked”) tomatoes on the side. While this was a bit strange, when he ordered, I didn’t realize his intention. When the plate arrived, he immediately scooped the tomatoes onto the Alfredo – a new dish was born! The server commented that it looked great and should be added to the menu. You can see his plate above.
Turns out it was also First Friday in Bethlehem also that night. There were street musicians, folks strolling the streets, shops open and welcoming people in for exhibits, music, drinks and other special events. There was a great jazz band from Moravian that Kyle loved (and mentioned in his nightly prayer) – that’s him dancing below.
We had a great time. I can’t wait for the next First Friday!
I savored every bit of making a Fancy Pink Tea Party for Meera’s 3rd Birthday, and I savored every bit of the post-party blogging. If you’re not interested, just skip all this (and call me crazy! or write me off as a mommy-professor who doesn’t get to indulge in creative endeavors nearly often enough! or whatever!). If, however, you do want to read all about The Fancy Pink, then just be aware that I’ve posted in five installments, all of which appear below (you’ll need to scroll down to read them all). Or, you can click here:
Part I – Planning and Prepping for the Fancy Pink Tea Party
Part II – Birthday Morning
Part III – The Guests Arrive
Part IV – Fancy Pink Tea Party Time
Part V – The End
It was decided, by Meera, weeks (months?) ago that to celebrate her third birthday we would throw a “Fancy Pink Tea Party.” Her words. Where she got this idea, no one knows. Her prior two birthdays were beautifully perfect, intimately small affairs with little fanfare (M’s 1st Birthday; M’s 2nd Birthday). We loved them. But it was clear that Meera wanted something different for her third birthday— a real party, and as pink as pink could be. She was very verbal about what she wanted: “a pink twirly dress” with “fancy shoes,” “many, many pink flowers,” “pink milk” in a “fancy cup,” and “fancy, fancy, pink, pink!” She was also very clear about who was to be put on the VIP guest list. I determined early on that I was going to attempt to indulge her every wish while still trying to stay true to the precious sweetness that represented her first two celebrations.
I love creating magical wonderful spectacular birthdays for my kids. I do it for them, and I do it for me. For them— because they only live once and I want them to feel – really feel – loved and celebrated and special and uplifted. For me— because it is very simple: I love doing this kind of stuff. Always have. I love making a vision come true. The excitement and anticipation. The planning and prepping and hot-glue-gunning. I wouldn’t want to do it all the time (thank God I have a job that keeps me distracted enough from being able to go over-board like this too often!!!), but a couple of times a year is – (as long as I have the help of my mom, thank God for MorMor!!!) – all good. And so, I set out on a mission to make it happen: a Fancy Pink Tea Party for Meera.
The invitations went out; the To Do lists were made; the hot-glue-gunning commenced. There were many trips to local thrift stores scavenging for the fanciest 99-cent-teacup-and-saucer-sets, the most extravagant $1-tea-pots, and the most elaborate $2-serving-dishes to be found. There were a couple of big trips to the craft store. There was glass-and-“fine”-china washing; big-time-crafting; and many late nights for Mama in the days leading up to the party.
MorMor joined me, three days before Meera’s birthday, for the last big push. And like my mom said when the big day finally came to a close: she and I, two forces independently, “together can move mountains.” Oh wowzas we can ever! And we can make the most spectacular birthday parties too! In the final hours there was fast-paced shopping, cleaning, decorating, and baking. Kyle and Owen even mowed! No kidding, they mowed the lawn! (and loved every minute of it of course.)
Meera knew there were big goings-on. And she knew it was all for her. She and her brothers went to bed on her birthday eve knowing only that the next day was going to be huge. A hugely special day was in the works. A Fancy Pink Tea Party was on the horizon. As soon as those three shut their eyes, things really got rolling. Furniture was re-arranged, garlands were hung, rooms were transformed, and the scene was set for a most magical next day. And as the clock passed midnight we were still in full-swing. At 12:23 am Braydon snapped the photo below— my mom and I setting the tea party table. MorFar was in the kitchen blowing up pink balloons. With everything ready and waiting for our girl’s big day, we called it a night at 1:30 am.
Meera’s End-of-the-Bed-Present was a new “big girl tea set” (her favorite gift from her 2nd Birthday was a teeny tiny tea set that she has played with just about every single day for the entire past year). She was opening her present just after she woke up at 5:51am (photo below). This felt early to those of us who had been up until 1:30am decorating, but it felt much too late to Meera’s brothers. Kyle and Owen had been up since 5am waiting impatiently for their little sister to wake up. “We’re too excited to sleep!” they told me more than once in the wee hours of the morning. They desperately wanted to wake Meera up. I told them that they had to wait for her to wake up on her own. I’m pretty sure that they were more excited about Meera’s birthday than they have ever been for their own. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we heard Meera’s pitter-pattering from her bedroom into the upstairs hallway. “I have a pink present in my big girl bed!” she exclaimed.
She could have just played with her brand new tea set on her bedroom floor all day and been perfectly happy. But Kyle and Owen knew bigger things were brewing. “Let’s look downstairs!” they said. And so we headed down. Seeing it all for the first time was all very exciting.
The thing about Meera is that she notices every detail. Nothing is lost on her. So all of the details are worth it. And there were lots and lots of details. The beauty of it was in the details. It wasn’t just a Fancy Pink Tea Party. It was pure magic in our house that day.
After exploring the scene, and then opening her presents from her brothers (a Tinkerbelle balloon from Owen; a Tinkerbelle toy from Kyle), Meera was whisked away to the Waffle House for a birthday breakfast. MorMor and I stayed home to finish off the final details because our Fancy Pink Tea Party guests were arriving at 10am sharp. Once back from waffles, all that was left to do was to get the birthday girl dressed in her Fancy New Outfit… the “pink twirly dress and fancy shoes” that she had been dreaming of were right there waiting…
And here they are— the bambinos— all dressed up in their Fancy Pink, just shy of 10am, just minutes before the Fancy Pink festivities officially began:
It was beyond adorable. It was Fancy Pink adorable. It was nothing like anything that any of us had done before. And that was the best part: we did it for Meera. It was not a party that the boys would have chosen. It was not a party that Mama or Papi would have chosen. It was the party that Meera chose. And we rallied behind her. Without complaint, without poking fun, without making light of it… we conscientiously and purposefully rallied for our girl, and we did it all the way. Because no matter how crazy we all might think this whole “Fancy Pink” thing is… it is – for better or for worse – Meera’s thing… and so… it is our thing too. Meera was ecstatic (that’s a fancy word for happy). She was Fancy Pink Ecstatic!
Meera’s guests began to arrive. Our invitation had stated: “Very Fancy Attire Requested.” And they all came dressed to the nines. Nothing made Meera happier than the arrival of her best friend Jewel. These two can be silly together, but they can also be sweet. And there was so, so much sweet upon the arrival of Jewel. The two of them stood in the foyer together, hugging, for at least 2 or 3 minutes, just holding on tight to each other with the sweetest, most serene looks on their faces. And then they were off and running— there were “fancy balloons” to be had! We hired a balloon twister for the first half hour of the party. She and her fancy balloons were a huge hit!
And the party was really rolling. And our girl was happy.
Very happy. Sneaking blueberries (with a huge spread of candy right behind her! LOL!), and soaking it all in.
I think she was happiest, though, sitting at a little tea party table we had set up right in the center of everything. I had known she’d need something to ground her, and this did the trick. She and her girlfriends could have played there for hours pouring water and serving blueberries…
Speaking of girlfriends… here are Meera’s two best friends: Rhea and Jewel. Their birthdays are all within a couple weeks of each other, and these three girlie girls are like three sassy-spunky-sweet-and-chatty pees in a pod. They are so dang cute together. And such a hoot!
The minutes flew… and then it was Tea Time!…
A ‘Treat Buffet’ of Pinkness put the icing on the cake of our Fancy Pink Tea Party. The kids loaded up take-home containers with sweet treats and stuffed them into pink burlap beach bags along with their fancy balloons, party hats, and whatever else they had collected along the way.
It was over-the-top all-the-way. It was not your average Saturday morning, it was a Fancy Pink Tea Party. And I think it is pretty safe to say that for the sixteen kids who sat around that tea party table, and for the other twenty or so of Meera’s VIPs who spent that time with us that day, it was very special. A guest list of 40 is relatively small for us J-Ms, but Meera’s 3rd Birthday Party was huge. There was magic in the air. And, yes, the beauty was in all of the many tiny details…
But the real loveliness was in the gigantic enormous JOY that was swirling all around us that day. A real good time was had by all.
The whole she-bang lasted precisely two hours. I had predicted that two hours would be our girl’s max for playing Party Princess, and I was precisely right – right down to the minute; at noon on the dot Meera found me amidst the chaos, reached up to me, and said, “Mama, will you hold me?” She was done. She is, after all, only 3 (thank God)! And she was ready for her nap. Once the last guest had left I took our Fancy Pink 3-Year-Old up to her room and felt very grateful that despite this latest milestone she is still my Little One. She is still my baby girl. I can still hold her and rock her and whisper sweet nothings in her ear until she falls asleep in my arms. And I plan to do that for as long as she’ll possibly let me.
At the end of it all, I’m just so glad we did it. The Fancy Pink Tea Party. It was a shamelessly indulgent two hours of our lives. Worth every single bit of everything that went into it. Mostly because of this: seven years into parenting, if there is anything I’m sure of, it is that they get it. They really do. They get it when we go all out for them. They know when careful thought and heartfelt love is poured into something. And so when I can, and for as long as I sense that they genuinely appreciate it, I’m going to go all out for them.
Happy Birthday Meera Grace!
It was a really great day.
“Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.” ~William Somerset Maugham
The End.
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