Uncategorized

Anyone whose ever known my boys, or even observed them from a distance, knows that they are go-go-go all-all-all the time. We joke that they “only have two speeds: a million miles an hour, or asleep” (we joke, but alas, it is 100% the Gospel Truth). They are, and have always been, off the walls– running, jumping, climbing, at full speed and at full volume, all day long, every single day. The only exception is when they are sick (or watching a movie). Truly.

So… it should be obvious why the above scene was a game-changer, life-changer, mind-altering, truth-defying moment.

I had them (all three of them) reading on the beach with me. Now, granted, I bribed them with ice cream. And I told them that if they didn’t do it, we’d have to go do our reading time “back at the beach house” (i.e., leave the beach), but still, it happened. And it wasn’t a horrible disaster, or misery for any of us, or anything like that. It was — even K & O admitted — “kinda ok” (Owen) and “actually very relaxing” (Kyle).

It only lasted about 15 minutes. And then they were back to running at full tilt, chasing waves at full speed, noise at maximum volume. But it was a beautiful and hope-inspiring and awe-filling 15 minutes.

A baby step, yes. But folks, this ushers in a whole new era.

I’m sure that if I’m lucky enough to have a day sometime far in the future when we’re all sitting on the beach reading together, I’ll fondly reminisce about the days when they were little and non-stop energy from the minute they woke up until the minute they fell asleep. So, I know that these things are bittersweet. But for that moment this week, reading on the beach with them for the first time ever, it was all sweet.

We have been seeing people fishing from the shore around Harbor Island the whole time we’ve been here. They catch all sorts of crazy things right from the beach. Kyle and Owen have been absolutely enthralled with it, and chomping at the bit to try it.

So, I broke down and decided to just go for it. The boys and I got up early today so I could take them out to buy the supplies. They were so excited they could hardly contain themselves. And then the bambinos and I spent the afternoon way out at the point of Harbor Island ocean fishing for the first time. (Which, basically, means the bambinos were fishing and I was non-stop untangling lines, fixing rods, and baiting hooks for the entire afternoon). We used shrimp as bait (it was recommended as best for “beginners”… which we MOST DEFINITELY are).

Kyle’s dream was to catch a string ray. And his dream came true!

We had lots of lots of nibbles, bites, and near-catches, but nobody else actually caught anything (well, Meera caught a hermit crab… which doesn’t really count… but she was very proud of it). The boys had an absolute blast. It was a very, very good day for them. Meera could take it or leave it. I’d prefer to leave it (although, knowing how much K & O love it, I’m happy enough to take it — despite the fact that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get the shrimp smell off my fingertips. Now that right there is true love.).

I don’t know if they’ll remember much of these crazy things that we do. So here’s a post to remind them– if they ever look at this– of the day we did our first ocean fishing. We saw only a handful of people all afternoon. It was a pretty amazing day.

Well, we woke up this morning to find out that the verdict in the Trayvon Martin case had come in: Not Guilty. I had a feeling, from the start, that this would be how it would go. I tried to prepare myself for it. Still, it was sickening to face the reality of it today.

There is no way around it: it is just gut-wrenchingly, mind-numbingly, sickening. Unlike many white parents of white children, but very much like many black parents of black children, I had talked about Trayvon’s story regularly with Kyle and Owen from the time we had first heard about his being killed and throughout the past many months. One of the privileges of whiteness and raising white kids is the ability to categorically protect the “innocence” and “naiveté” of white youth where all things race and racial and radicalized and racism are concerned. When you’re raising black boys in a culture where black boys can be killed in broad daylight and the killer can walk free… well… then, it is a whole different story. It would be ruthlessly irresponsible for us to not educate our sons and be honest with them about the way this world works. And do you know how hard that is? Do you know how hard it is to look your child in the eye and explain to them that the Trayvon Martin case verdict came back Not Guilty? If you’re white, raising white kids, then most likely, you don’t. Just imagine having to have that conversation with your precious, beautiful, full-of-potential children. It is impossibly sickening.

The fact is, what makes me most sick — as a white parent right now — is knowing how many white folks out there did not talk truthfully about the Trayvon Martin case with their white kids today. I am, after all, white. I have spent a lot of time around white people. I know, firsthand, how very privileged they are. And I know, firsthand, how very unaware they are of their privilege, and how adamantly they refuse — in a daily sort of way — to take apart their privilege. Until privilege is dismantled — in all its forms — the tragedies and travesties and truly horrific and sickening realities of being a black boy wearing a hoodie in this country won’t end. Disadvantage, injustice, racialized oppression in all forms… it is structurally embedded. Until the flip side — the white privilege — is fundamentally deconstructed, we’ll keep on having to explain to our black sons how wearing a hoodie could get them killed.

It is gut-wrenchingly, mind-numbingly, sickening.

Today, with Kyle and Owen, we discussed the Trayvon Martin case, and all that it raises, on-and-off as the boys had thoughts to share or questions to ask. They were fiery angry; they were crushingly sad; they were confused; and they wanted to know what they can do to make it different in this world. I don’t know the answers— especially to that last one. The best I came up with today was to look them straight in the eyes, with tears in mine, and tell them: “Boys, this is what you can do: first, you can go ahead and have as absolutely GREAT a life as possible in spite of all this! And second, you can figure out how to use your life to make things better.”

{Owen & Kyle, yesterday, out for brunch}

So, today, despite the pit in my stomach and the lump in my throat, we went to the beach and body surfed huge waves. We had a fabulous picnic lunch on the sand. We searched for shark’s teeth brought in by the surf, and we found 26 of them. We watched the last couple innings of the Red Sox game. We ate dinner together, and we put our kids to bed. And we talked here-and-there about this gut-wrenchingly, mind-numbingly, sickeningly horrific topic of Trayvon Martin’s killing and his murderer’s privilege to walk free. And I wished, hoped, and prayed — about a hundred million times today — that somehow, against all odds, that somehow, someway, my two precious and beautiful black boys, who are just so full of potential, will be able to make it through this life without being killed because of their race. And I wished things were different. But they aren’t. So, we’re going to have to keep talking and talking and talking with them about the brutal reality of life in the here and now. So, today ended up a reminder of just that: how vigilant we have to be — as parents — about being truthful and honest with our kids about the state of affairs in this place where we find ourselves living.

If you are black, you can say whatever you want about all this. But if you are white, be very careful about what you say to my face. To my face, be sure not to tell me that I’m “over-reacting” or being “hyper-sensitive” or “making more of it than it is.” Until you’re black, or are raising a black boy in this country, you’ll never know this kind of fear and trepidation. So, be very careful about how you react to it. Instead, I’d urge everyone who cares at all about any of this to face the realities head-on and to “force honest and painful discussions.”

In my opinion, the best thing I’ve read today on the subject of the Trayvon Martin verdict is this piece by the sociologist Larry Bobo: http://mobile.theroot.com/articles/culture/2013/07/why_the_zimmerman_jury_failed_us.html

“Lots of us are disappointed and angry right now. Seething bitterness, however, is not a solution, nor is violence or striking out. The way forward is one of hard work on social and political organizing, as well as of forcing honest and painful discussions, and a passionate insistence on change and justice. This country still has a serious problem with racism. Let’s stop pretending this isn’t case or that it is all somehow healing itself.”

The only thing that I’ve written about the Trayvon Martin case, before now, was this blog post from March of 2012:http://johnson-mccormick.com/2012/03/and-you-wonder-why-i-dress-my-boys-the-way-i-do/

“And all the while I’ll be constantly, constantly, constantly a little bit on edge with worry for them. And unless you have a black son, you have no right to judge me for any of that.”

I’ve been making this shrimp for years but it never gets old. If you are a shrimp lover, you’ll love this.

Right after we graduated from college, Braydon and I spent a year living in Charleston. I worked as a paralegal in a small private practice law firm downtown in the historic district. The secretary in the office was Sue– a super nice lady who had spent her entire life — as she liked to say, “born and raised!” — living in the South Carolina coastal region. She was an impressive chef, and loved nothing more than local seafood. She and I bonded over cooking, (and complaining about our boss), and became great friends despite our age difference (I was 22 at the time, and she was at least 20 years older than me). Sue taught me most of what I know about Lowcountry cuisine. She also taught me how to shuck an oyster– raw or roasted.

Above all, Sue taught me how to make what she called “Lowcountry Shrimp.”

After I moved back north, I started making this as an appetizer for dinner guests, friends, and family. I’ll never forget how much my cousin Karen loved this shrimp. She’d request it at family holidays, and I started making it for pretty much every Christmas, Thanksgiving, or family–get-together-of-any-kind. Once you have shrimp this way, you’ll never want to eat typical “shrimp cocktail” ever again. This is so yum. Try it and you’ll see!

Lowcountry Peel-n-Eat Shrimp

This is not a precise or fine-art recipe. Lots of people add other stuff too, so don’t hold back from experimenting. If you want to add whatever herbs and spices seem good to you, just go ahead and throw ’em in the pot. Here’s how I am currently doing it:

— 2 cans/bottles of beer. The darker the better, but use whatever you have.

— 3 lemons, quartered.

— Handful of chopped fresh parsley (or use a whole bunch of dried if you don’t have fresh).

— About 1/4 cup of Old Bay Seasoning.

— About 1 tablespoon of whole peppercorns.

— About 2 pounds shrimp. This should be de-headed, but with shell and tail on.

Put everything, except the shrimp, into a pot. Add just enough water so that the shrimp will be submerged once added (just eyeball it– but the less water, the better). Set the pot onto high heat, and bring to a rapid boil. Add shrimp. Stir to ensure that all of the shrimp are fully submerged. Bring back to a boil. Here is the tricky part: DO NOT OVERCOOK THE SHRIMP. The trick is to only leave the shrimp in until they are just starting to curl up. You do not want them to get so cooked that they are in tight circles– that is overcooked– you want them to be only curled a bit, not tight (look at the pictures above and below– notice: the shrimp aren’t tightly curled up). As soon as the shrimp appear to be starting to curl up, test one right away by cutting through it with a knife. It should be slightly curled, the texture should be tender (not at all tough), and it should be just barely cooked all the way through. If these are fresh shrimp, this will literally take less than a minute. If they have been previously frozen, or are very large, it might take up to 3 minutes. Quickly dump out the whole pot into a colander to remove the water. Dump out the shrimp onto a serving tray. You can eat these immediately (hot), or you can serve them at room temperature. You can also chill them. They can keep overnight in the refrigerator to serve the next day. They are great hot, room temperature, or served cold (or, if you want to be fancy, on ice)! Serve with fresh lemons to squeeze, cocktail sauce, and/or melted butter. Peel a shrimp, dip in the cocktail sauce (or butter), and enjoy! In the Lowcountry they are often served with no plates, and with newspapers as the “tablecloth” — that way when you peel them, you can just put the shells onto the table, and quickly clean it all up afterwards. They are so good with a cold glass of white wine or an icy beer! This is a great appetizer, or can be served as part of a main meal. They are also great with bloody marys for brunch!

Photos below– a shrimp boat off of Harbor Island the other day; Lowcountry Peel-n-Eat Shrimp (with a couple of steamed crabs on top) that we had for dinner the night before last.

We drove MorMor and MorFar to the airport yesterday. They were with us for five days and it was a great, great visit because we got to share this wild and wonderful place with them.

We spent a lot of time at the beach.

(This –above– is Harbor Island Beach. It is vast and shallow for a very long distance out. If you look very closely, you can see MorMor way out there with the bambinos.)

(This –above– is Hunting Island Beach. Our favorite. You don’t have to look closely to see two very happy grandparents and three very happy grandchildren.)

Kyle took this picture of my mom and me at Harbor Island beach the morning we were checking out a freshly laid sea turtle nest. I love it.

*

We spent a lot of time eating. We treated MorMor and MorFar to some Lowcountry delectables. We made sure they had pralines (they loved!), boiled peanuts (they did not love!), fried green tomatoes (yum!), and barbecue (Sticky Fingers in Charleston — impossible to not love). Fresh from the roadside stands, fresh off the farms, we had peaches, tomatoes, watermelon. Fresh from the roadside stands, fresh off the boats, we had stone crabs, grouper, shrimp.

They treated us to dinner out one night. Meera took the two photos below, from her seat at the restaurant:

We treated them to blue crabs (we only caught two!!!), and Lowcountry peel-n-eat shrimp. (Fact: shrimp is way better when it was caught that day from the same water you can see from the windows of your beach house.)

They treated us to a date night. That date night was greatly enjoyed by all five J-Ms. Braydon and I got to indulge in our favorite Beaufort restaurant — Saltus River Grill. The bambinos got to indulge in a night alone with MorMor and MorFar. That night turned out very exciting for them. They decided it would be fun to go for a late night golf cart ride around Harbor Island in the dark. At one point they drove right over a very large diamondback rattlesnake (venomous!) that was, apparently, making its way across the road… it was all very exciting. It was also very exciting for Braydon and I to be sipping champagne, eating very high caliber food, overlooking the waterfront instead.

We spent some time just hanging out. But not very much time doing that…

…Because we were too busy sharing our beloved Lowcountry with MorMor and MorFar. We got to show them this place. Which is such an honor for us. They saw dolphins, sand dollars, hermit crabs, blue crabs, horseshoe crabs, fiddler crabs, osprey, egrets, alligator, and of course that infamous rattlesnake. They saw the ocean and the marshes at low tide and high tide. They saw us in our happy place. It was all good.

On their last day we went crabbing in the marshes off of Pelican Point on Harbor Island. We caught nothing out there that day. But we had a good time. (Just for the record — for any photography buffs out there — I just want to state that I swear on my life, I did not photo edit the pics below one bit. None of them. At all. This is, truly, what it looks like!)

It was a great visit and we are so happy they came.

*

“Happiness quite unshared can scarcely be called happiness; it has no taste.” –Charlotte Bronte

Harbor Island has a Loggerhead Turtle Program focused on protecting sea turtles and their nests. Last night we all (the J-Ms, MorMor, and MorFar) went to a “Turtle Talk” where we learned all about the sea turtles and the Harbor Island program. It is run and operates entirely by volunteers. Harbor Island (and the Sea Islands up and down this area of the South Carolina coast) are popular nesting grounds for loggerhead turtles. The mama turtles come onto the beach at night — between May and October — to lay their eggs up along the edge of the dunes. It takes about 50 days, and then — if all goes well — the eggs will hatch. The hatchling baby turtles will then make their way back to the sea. Out of every 1,000 loggerhead turtle eggs, only 1 will survive to make it all the way to adulthood (age 30). The females will go back, and lay their eggs in the same general vicinity as where they were born. If they survive, sea turtles can live to be up to 60 years old. But many don’t survive — in part due to natural circumstances, and in part due to human-made circumstances (boats, litter, alterations to the beaches and dunes, etc., etc., etc.). Loggerhead turtles were on the endangered species list. But because of the efforts of volunteer programs like the Harbor Island Sea Turtle Project, loggerhead turtles are slowly coming back and are no longer on the official endangered list. They are, however, still pretty rare, and are in need of lots of protection to ensure they don’t go back into endangerment.

Early every morning, from May through October, the Harbor Island Sea Turtle Project volunteers go walk the beaches (here on Harbor Island it is a 3 mile strip of beach). They look for mama turtle tracks. This morning MorMor and MorFar went out early to take a look for themselves. Sure enough, it turns out that last night a mama turtle did lay a nest on the Harbor Island Beach. This is the 40th nest found on Harbor Island this season. Once the bambinos were up we went back to take a look.

The turtle tracks are very noticeable on the beach once you know what to look for. You can see where she made her way from the water up to the dunes. This mama turtle was approximately 3 feet wide by 38 inches long.

The volunteers look for these tracks, and follow them up to the edge of the dunes to find the nest. The turtles dig a deep hole (the length of your arm), and then lay about 100 eggs into the cool sand below. Volunteers put up netting and mark the area so that humans will not disturb the nest, and so that foxes, raccoons, and other predators can’t dig down to eat the eggs.

The nest is marked. Here you can see that this morning’s nest was #40 — the 40th found on Harbor Island this nesting season — and the date is marked too (7/9 marked for today — July 9th). The volunteers who found the nest and took care of it get to mark their initials on the post too (here you see “NL” and “VL” for the names of the volunteers). Once the nest is enclosed this way, everyone knows to be careful of it, and also to be on the look out that approximately 50 days or so from today, these eggs will be hatching. That way we can be sure to stay clear if we see the babies trying to make their way back to the sea.

After the mama lays her eggs, and covers up the nest with sand, she makes her way back to the water. Rarely do people see the mama turtles. But after she’s gone, and the sun comes out, you can see a set of tracks on the beach heading up, and then another set of tracks heading back down.

There are nests on Harbor Island which were found this May. We are hoping that we’ll be able to be here when some of the nests hatch — they expect it to start happening within the next two weeks — and maybe even be able to see some babies make their way to the ocean! We’ll post again if we do!

P.S. This past winter us J-Ms watched a great documentary about sea turtles on Netflix. If you’re interested, we can highly recommend this movie for families and kids of all ages– Turtle: The Incredible Journey.

MorMor and MorFar flew down to visit us for a few days. I am so happy to show them this place in the world that we J-Ms love so much. We picked them up in Charleston yesterday and went straight to Sticky Fingers for bbq lunch/dinner. We spent the afternoon in Charleston then took them back to “our beach house” (Meera has become fond of telling everyone she encounters about “our beach house” which is “amazing!”). Today we spent the day at our favorite beach on Hunting Island. We picked up crab claws, shrimp, peaches, and tomatoes at a roadside stand on our 5-minute ride home. After a swim in the pool we had stone crabs (appetizer), salad, and shrimp scampi for dinner. My mom and Meera are currently asleep (9pm) and my dad is watching the Red Sox game with the boys and Braydon. Such a joy and a pleasure to share this all with them. Love love love love love love love.

Years ago, before the bambinos entered our lives, Braydon and I vacationed often along the Caribbean coast of Mexico. We love that part of the world. After a day of exploring the Yucatan’s amazing land and amazing sea there was nothing better than some good chips dipped in some fresh, cool, creamy guacamole (with a beer or a marg, of course). The guac was always made in well-used molcajetes, and I became convinced (rightly so) that guacamole de molcajete was much, much better than guacamole made any other way.

One year on one of our trips, I told Braydon that I wanted very much to buy a molcajete. It was May, and I had just graduated from my PhD program. Braydon took it upon himself to make sure that I got a molcajete on that trip — in part as a gift for me at time in our lives that was a major milestone. We began a quest to find one, but quickly discovered that the molcajetes they were selling to tourists weren’t the real deal. They were sort of ‘knock-off’ molcajetes, made with cheap fake volcanic rock, and made in some sort of factory to make them appear distressed without really being so. I didn’t want a tourist-knock-off, I wanted the real thing.

One night in the resort restaurant we started talking about our molcajete woes with a server with whom we had become friendly over the week. He explained that the places to buy real molcajetes are in the big markets where no tourists ever go. He said that if we gave him the money he’d go to the market and buy one for us on his day off — the next day — and bring it to the restaurant for us at lunchtime the following day. We went out on a limb, trusted the guy, and gave him the money. Sure enough, he delivered it, as promised, and it became — instantly — one of my most valued possessions on earth.

The bambinos have been eating guacamole de molcajete their whole lives, so they are spoiled when it comes to guac! If you don’t have a molcajete, you can still make guacamole — you just have to mash it up in a bowl instead of in the molcajete. But a molcajete really does make amazing guacamole, so if you’re guac lovers (like us), it might be worth buying one!

– – –

Guacamole de Molcajete:

You’ll need the following — all to taste — add as much or as little as you like of each of the ingredients: chopped fresh tomatoes, chopped red onion, fresh cilantro, lime, fresh avocado, salt. You can also add jalepeno (we are in a phase right now where we don’t add any jalepeno because Meera is very sensitive to it). Note: for our family we use a tomato (or 2 if they are small), about 1/4 of a red onion, a handful of cilantro, 1 lime, 2 avocados, and a couple of grinds of sea salt.

Put some onion, cilantro, and salt in the molcajete. Mash it, mush it, grind it all up.

Add lime and tomato and avocado.  Mash it, mush it, grind it all up.

Dig in! Delish! And when you’re done with the appetizer (the guac), if you still have room for dinner, you can have make-your-own tacos/burritos/quesadillas!