It was ice cream cake this year for the birthday girl (ice cream is her favorite food). And, as is tradition, she was flanked on either side by her twin brothers. Who, once again, had to help her blow out her candles (I do wonder what year that will no longer be necessary).

It was a really great birthday party for Meera.

(And I have to slip this in: her brother got to hold a tiny baby for a good long stretch of time, which is one of his favorite things on earth to do. But it was a bittersweet thing for him– he told me later: “I can’t believe Meera is five, sometimes I just wish she could be a baby all over again.” Yeah, buddy, I know just how you feel.)

No time to get too weepy over that thought though. It was time for the piñata! (She had very specifically wanted a piñata, but did not want to smash it, so Braydon and MorFar fashioned a pull string for it.)

It was a party of great fun~~

And somehow, in there, amidst her grand 5th Birthday Party, in true Meera style, she made time for some sweet moments. She is very good at that.

Most importantly, Meera thoroughly enjoyed every minute of her special day. For these five years she’s been the happiest kid I’ve ever known. My hope for her is that she’ll always keep that pure joy as her core and essence.

Her light is infectious. She is a blessing to all who know her. And she has an incredibly interesting and rich and unique life, full of wonderful people who are a great gift to her.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEERA GRACE!

That night we drank lots of chocolate milk (some of us) and lots of gin and tonic (others of us), and we grilled and ate outside (one of Meera’s favorite things to do). Meera played for a long stretch with her favorite present from the birthday party — a hobby horse from our good friend and Head Gryphon from this past year at Lehigh, Sarah.

The next day was May 28th, Meera’s actual birthday. It was a very low-key and dreary day at home (while her brothers went to school). Just perfect for unwinding from such a big day. Meera spent most of that day playing with her favorite present from her actual birthday — a Barbie RV (complete with hot tub, flat screen tv, and full kitchen!?!) from MorMor and MorFar (note: for the record — they would NEVER have given that to me when I was a child! Nor, would I have ever wanted it.).

It is something I’ve been thinking about a lot — the way my girl is just like her mama — a walking contradiction in pretty much every way. Example: her favorite gifts were a simple, wooden, old-fashioned hobby horse… and an elaborate, plastic, new-fangled Barbie RV. Example 2: on her birthday MorFar said he wanted to take her out for lunch, he asked her what her favorite lunch place is, she said “McDonalds!” (I was shocked!), that is pure Meera — she’s grown up a gourmand, a foodie-gourmet, who’s been eating in fine restaurants since she was born… and who also loves McDonalds.

She’s pretty and strong. She’s sweet and willful. She’s baby sister and boss. She loves mud and pedicures, fairies and barbies, hobby horses and plastic RVs, sushi and McDonalds. She’s complex, hard to define, impossible to categorize, inherently contradictory. She refutes the traditional boxes and labels.

Meera will struggle — she’ll get backlash from the confusion caused when confronted with someone who defies expectations and categorizations. It is hard to wrap our minds around the reality that sometimes — when given a chance — people will become what nobody could have predicted. They’ll become very attentive and hands-on mothers with very self-motivated and ambitious careers. They’ll become professors who create fairy forests. They’ll become girls who are strong and smart and who love pink and frill. They’ll make us question our pre-conceived notions. They’ll choose lives that don’t line up with our expectations or predictions. It is not going to be easy for Meera (believe it. I know it.). But she’s guaranteed (at a minimum) to have a very full life if she stays true to herself. And that’s what we’re hoping for. We’re hoping to encourage her to be whole, and fully her.

We are so excited to see what the future holds. If the past five years are any indication, it is going to be awesome.

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P.S. Meera’s end-of-the-bed present (our one birthday present for her) this year was a photo book of her first five years. I loved making this book and was so, so, so impressed with every aspect of the site/company I used to make it. I can highly recommend Blurb for photo-book-publishing.

A Walk Through The Fairy Forest

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~ The Greeting House ~

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~ The Tiny Houses ~

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~ The Rocky Hollows House ~

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~ The Pink House ~

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~ The Tree House ~

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~ The Beach House ~

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~ The Garden Fairies ~

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~ Some Other Fairy Houses ~

We have been back to the fairy forest many times since Meera’s birthday party. It feels different each time we see it. In the rain it is different than in the sun. In the cold it is different than in the heat. In the wind it is different than in the still. In the early morning it is different than in the dark. We’ve re-visited it during all those times, and it is magical in all of them.

Meera had a great birthday. But I surely enjoyed it most of all. More than anything it took out of me, it filled me up. I loved doing it.

“That’s what I consider true generosity: You give your all, and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing.” –Simone de Beauvoir

Hi My Dear Blog Readers,

Well, you all sure do know how to cheer up a girl. Thank you very much for your very uplifting comments to my last post. Honest to God: I did not post it in order to fish for pep talks. I swear, I truly didn’t. But my goodness gracious, you all definitely have picked me up when I was down.

I know I often make it seem like life comes easy for me (that is a blessing and a curse of my personality that I’ve always lived with). But let me assure you: life doesn’t come any easier for me than for anyone else. I have my fair share of bumps in the road. But one thing I’m good at is keepin’ on keeping on, with a smile on my face that is (for the most part, most of the time) genuine. I am always one to plow right through it (even when I just want to crawl up in a ball and hide). So, don’t worry about me. But, for real, thank you sincerely for your words of support.

Love going out to all the blogosphere (even to the haters),

~Heather

p.s. I am working on Meera’s 5th Birthday Post(s). Get ready for a loooooong one!

p.p.s. Today was K, O, and M’s last day of school! Here we are right after I picked them up (to swoop them away to what I’m determined to make the very best summer of their lives)~~~

Hi My Dear Blog Readers,

So, I’ve been MIA. The truth is, a lot has been going on (what else is new?!), but that really isn’t the main reason behind my lack of blogging. On Meera’s birthday (May 28) I posted a short post. I got a horribly nasty mean comment to that post from an anonymous person who used a fake email address to post the comment. It basically eluded to what a terribly spoiled little brat Meera is, and how awful it is that we have a racially diverse group of folks at her party. Of course, I trashed it immediately. But, unfortunately, sometimes these things hit me hard, and stick, and my feelings were bashed, and it took the wind right out of my sails. It is hard to blog knowing that very aggressive and mean-spirited people are out there scrutinizing every post with 100% anonymity.

People who don’t blog probably cannot imagine what this aspect of blogging is all about. We put ourselves out there, make ourselves so vulnerable, and then every once in a while we get slammed hard by someone out there in the universe who simply wants to hurt us. Granted, we have thousands of readers, who post positive things MUCH more often than the rare nasty comment. But still, those comments do come, and for me it is hard to get back up over and over and keep on blogging in spite of it. I’ve posted many times on this blog about this dilemma. And then I just keep going. I’ll do the same this time. But I’m just being honest: it ain’t easy.

Luckily I have my mom. She’s my #1 Blog Reader. And honestly, whenever I truly consider giving up the blog, I think of her, up there in New Hampshire, with her iPad, checking in to our site, and I decide to keep blogging. It is hard to have a long-distance mom-daughter relationship. It is even harder to have a long distance grandchild-grandmother relationship. One of the things that I think have contributed to having it work out a little tiny bit well for us so far, is my blogging. That’s the honest truth. The blog is for me, it’s for my bambinos, it’s for you (readers of all varieties, who get all sorts of things from reading here). But the honest truth is: the blog is in large part for MorMor.

She’s chomping at the bit to see a great big blog post showcasing Meera’s 5th Birthday Party in all its glory. I’m trying hard to get up the gumption to get over that horribly mean comment, force my creative juices to get flowing, and blog it. It is hard to put it out there knowing that the mean nasty person (the one who wrote such hurtful things to the May 28th post) is probably out there reading. But I’ll choose my mom over that person today and everyday.

So, today, while I’m sitting at Meera’s weekly 1.5 hour gymnastics class, instead of reading the manuscript I should be reading (I have a big review deadline looming), I will instead put work aside to begin to sort through the many, many pictures of Meera’s festivities. And I’ll start formulating how I’ll post about that amazing day in our lives. I know my mom, for one, will love reading it and pouring over each and every photo.

Thanks for hanging in there with me,

~Heather

And now… a whole new backseat scene for the three!! Meera, upon turning 5, has officially graduated to a carseat BOOSTER! After 9 years of having at least 1 real carseat (many years of 2), we now have just one simple booster– and three very comfortable, happy-with-the-spaciousness, “big” kids!

p.s. lots happening here, thus the blog dry-spell. hoping to get back to blogging soon. lots of catch-up to do.

(yesterday was her birthday party!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEERA GRACE!

Lehigh’s commencement was on Monday morning. I thought it was really important for Kyle, Owen, and Meera to be there. They’ve been living on campus, they’ve formed real relationships with lots of students — including many graduating seniors — and I felt strongly that they should see the year through and have the closure of attending commencement. I also thought that — given their immersion in a college campus — they should see firsthand what a graduation is all about. This would be the first time attending for all three of them. So, I kept them home from school for the day, and we went (Braydon was away on a work trip).

They were pretty impressed with the football field transformed into a graduation site. They were pretty impressed with the thousands of people in attendance, swarming the stadium.

They were pretty impressed with the 2,000 graduates, the robes and hoods, the music, the procession, the pomp and circumstance. They were pretty impressed with the thick program listing the names and degrees and awards and honors.

They spent quite a nice long chunk of time searching the program for names they knew.

And then…

But we saw it through. And I’m glad we did. Because then they got to see the best part: the graduates as they first walk out… so happy, so emotional, so sure and unsteady at the same time. A once-in-a-lifetime moment for a person — that we get to be a part of just simply because we are their friends.

And Kyle, Owen, and Meera learned that a big part of commencement is the post-graduation-celebrating.

The hugging and “congratulations”-ing, and the meeting-the-families, and the photo taking with the graduates. Those parts were pretty cool.

That afternoon we attended Sarah’s graduation party at her parents’ home in North Bethlehem. We had been so honored to be invited. We were even more honored to be there, to share in her family’s celebration, and to enjoy a sweet and lovely afternoon with the Thomsons. (Sarah is a student we became especially close with this year — she lived in the apartment diagonally across from us; was our head Gryphon; President of Lehigh’s Student Senate; brought Meera to visit her sorority house more than once; and was/is an all-around really good friend of our family. And she is one of the rare Lehigh students who grew up locally — so her family party was something we could logistically very easily do.)

So, Kyle, Owen, and Meera got the whole experience– attending commencement, and attending a graduation party. Now they know what that whole thing is all about. And it did what I hoped — it brought some closure for us. We were able to end the year of full immersion, with a full immersion in a very important book-end day.

P.S. Thank you to Shalinee for Meera’s dress and matching doll dress. Shalinee saw this in a store a few weeks ago and just had to get it for Meera (knowing she’d love it). She was right– Meera loved it (as did what felt like — literally — many hundred graduation-goers who commented repeatedly on how cute the matching outfits were). xo to Shalinee for knowing my girl so well.

It has become a tradition for us that for Mother’s Day I always receive the gift of some fancy shmancy new kitchen gadget from Braydon and the bambinos. I send explicit hints as to which precise gadget I’m most desiring each year. This year was a biggie: THE VITAMIX. I’ve been coveting this thing for years. And I’m thrilled to announce that the J-Ms have been drinking kale smoothies every morning since (except for Meera, who refuses to drink them). Last night at their baseball game, Kyle and Owen each hit the ball so hard that it hit the fence (a first for them; and there is only one other boy on their team — who is 2 years older than them — who has done that). They are truly convinced it is because of the kale smoothies. 😉 Love, love, love the Vitamix. If you have one, you know what I’m talkin’ about— the thing is AMAZING!

Kyle and Owen’s 9th birthday was May 8. Cousin Sadie’s 10th birthday was May 10. The three of them got a special birthday present this year from MorMor and MorFar: a weekend away — without the parents and little siblings!!! The five of them spent last weekend together in New York City. Two nights in hotels, and lots and lots of fun. The highlight of the trip was seeing Wicked on Broadway. They also went to the Museum of Natural History, Central Park, FAO Schwarz, and the Empire State Building at night. They ate great food, had loads of fun, and really bonded. According to Kyle and Owen, it was “AWESOME!!!” (Since I was not there, I don’t have loads of pics, but I do have the one above, that my mom sent me from the lobby of the play.)

Meanwhile, back at home, Meera got to have her parents all to herself for a whole weekend. That was pretty special too. According to Meera, it was “AWESOME!!! But. I missed my brothers.” (They did not have that same sentiment regarding their little sister tacked on the end of their statement about the weekend. Lol!)

Very early on Sunday morning Braydon left for a work trip to Dallas, Texas. So, I was on my own to pick up the boys in the city. I decided my best bet was to take the bus. The bambinos thought that was “FANTASTIC!!!” So, their first bus trip in-and-out of the city capped off an all-around “AWESOME” weekend!

Owen & Kyle, just before guests began arriving for their 9-Year-Old Birthday Party

Kyle and Owen’s birthday party is a big deal to me (backstory can be found here). I do it up big. In a big way. Always have. And for as long as I can, I always will. It is an honor and a privilege for me to throw a huge bash for them. It is what they want. And I love doing it. This year was no different — except, for the big difference being that it was our first K&O birthday not in our old home; our first big family party on campus. It was very different than having their birthday party at our old house, and there was a part of me that was sad to not be there. But it was also very awesome in whole new ways.

These things are a lot of work. This year we had 80+ guests, and that’s a crazy big bash for what amounts to a whole bunch of people, including a huge slew of kids. A lot goes into it. And I question my sanity (numerous times in the days and weeks leading up to it). But in the end it is always, always, always worth it for the smiles on everyone’s faces and the really good, good times had by all.

Some year I’m going to have to try to document the planning and prepping process. This year, I only have one photo from that — Below: here we are, Braydon and me, one Saturday morning, stuffing envelopes for the invitation mailing.

This year’s theme was “Family Festival.”

We had hoped for a sunny day with lots of lawn games and many icy drinks. It turned out hot and humid (many icy drinks!), but with scattered downpours throughout the afternoon. Lucky for us, we had a great back-up venue right in our backyard! — Sayre Lodge (the community building right where we live). What lucky ducks we are! Before guests had even begun to arrive, these Birthday Boy lucky ducks were eating hot dogs and having their own little dance party for two. Watching that, alone, would have been enough to make the whole thing worth it to me. I love these 9-year-old boys so flipping much.

And then, guests started arriving, things got rocking, and the “Family Festival” really got rolling.

At some point, mid-way through the party, the rains stopped and the clouds cleared out, and blue skies appeared. So there was volleyball…

… and whiffle ball…

… and parachute games.

But still, the thing that really stole the show was the bouncy house that we had set up in my classroom inside the Lodge. The slide, especially, was the big hit. There were two 9-year-olds in particular who went nuts for it.

One nine year old went really nuts for it (he practically never left it for the entire duration of the party. And yes, looking at these pictures does make me contemplate the future of this party-loving girl-magnet).

And there was one special party-goer, The Sister of The Birthday Boys, who — in her classic style — was most happy slightly removed from the chaos and the crowds that her brothers love so much. She tolerates their birthday parties (as they will tolerate her’s). But Meera has a sense of grace about her that seems to help her glide right through. She also always seems to find ways to make a good time for herself amidst just about any scenario. She spent a long stretch of K & O’s party just sitting on the steps outside, eating popcorn and drinking lemonade, with her friend Isabelle. That is just so perfectly Meera.

And then, before we said goodbye to all the revelers, we had cake. Two cakes, to be precise, as is our twinny tradition.

In addition to virtually all of K & O’s classmates (from both classes), and a bunch of other friends from school, some additional VIPs were with us that day.

(Above: some of our most very favorite extra special super duper most adored students — Dana, Kathryn, Josh, and Rawle eat birthday cake. Below: some of our most beloved family friends — Stacey takes a pic of Ben and the boys.)

And then, once everyone was gone, the boys got to open their massive pile of gifts. It really warms my heart to know how well their friends know them– so many gifts were so perfectly chosen for K & O. It is sweet to see it.

And then we all zonked out for the night, exhausted from another great big birthday bash.

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I do need to acknowledge the most VIPs of all: my parents. MorMor and MorFar have always gone way out of their way to be with us for the bambinos’ birthday parties. This is such a huge blessing to Kyle, Owen, and Meera. But, even more so, (honestly), this is such a huge blessing to me. They both help so much with the party-throwing. We truly could not do it without them. And in addition to being here for the actual party, they were here for the stuff on either side of it too— a couple of baseball games, a few great meals, and lots of time just being with us (the most important gift of all). I feel so grateful for them in our lives in this way. It is a rare thing: this kind of bond — especially when it is a long-distance situation.

Also, I feel so grateful to Lehigh University Residential Services and Conference and Special Housing Services. They have allowed my parents to use the apartment across the hall from us while the students are all away for the summer. This is huge for us! Below: eating dinner together in “MorMor and MorFar’s apartment” (where we are able to sit around an actual dining table).

We had to wait for the right weather (low wind, no rain) to do our traditional sky lanterns. But we made sure to do it. As I wrote last year: “sky lanterns, in honor of Kyle and Owen’s birthparents, sent out to the universe, from us, to them, with so many wishes, so much gratitude, and such depth of mixed emotion.” It is an important ritual for us.

An amazing celebration of our now 9-year-old precious boys. These little souls are growing and thriving. We thank all involved in that. Those of us who get to be around them– we are the lucky ones.

Kyle and Owen yesterday. (Not at all sure why, but for the first time in months they wore identical matching outfits. Today, they were back to different attire. Who knows?! One thing I’ve learned in these past 9 years: don’t question the twinny stuff too deeply… non-twins, like me, just can never truly understand it. It is just that special.)

Dear Kyle and Owen,

Here are just a few things that I want you to remember about your 9th Birthday.

• Before your alarm clock went off, you woke up at 6:09am (I thought that was interesting… the :09 on your 9th birthday!), excited to find your end-of-the-bed-presents.
• You came running into our room, Meera woke up in the excitement, and the first thing she said, groggily and half asleep, was “Happy Birthday Kyle and Owen!”
• With all five of us in Mommy & Papi’s bed, you two were completely surprised when you each unwrapped your present, to find iPods, each loaded with 99 (get it? 9! – 9!) of your favorite songs and musical pieces.
• As happy as the iPods made you, you were even happier to discover that they were the red ones (proceeds go in part to fight AIDS in Africa).
• You brought birthday treats to school for your classes. Kyle chose blueberry muffins. Owen chose mini powdered doughnuts. Untraditional birthday treat choices (according to you, “everyone always brings cupcakes”), but all reports were that everyone loved them. I was proud of you for going out on a limb and choosing what you truly wanted despite the break from the mainstream. I was really happy to find out that it went over fabulously with your friends and teachers!
• You chose to go to After School Program today — I gave you the option, and you chose that, for your birthday afternoon.
• When I picked you up at After School Program you were playing basketball with your friends and having a great day.
• At home you rode your bikes until it was time to go to dinner.
• Dinner was your choice. The two of you together chose for us to go out to dinner at Alando’s Kitchen. In case someday you don’t remember: Alando’s Kitchen is a Kenyan Restaurant. How many 9 year-olds (who aren’t Kenyan) choose to go out to Kenyan food for their birthday dinner? Probably not too many. That makes me super proud (you know I get quite a kick out of my twinny foodies!).
• You were so precious and charming at dinner. It gave Emily, the owner of Alando’s Kitchen, great joy. She brought you extra chapati and — because she knows you love it — she also brought you a big bowl of masala sauce to dip it in. When it was time to go, you both hugged her with big strong full hugs. I’m sure people in the restaurant thought she was a close relative or friend of ours… you don’t typically see 9-year-old boys hugging restaurant owners so vivaciously.
• It poured rain on the way home. Which meant we couldn’t do our traditional sky lanterns on your birthday night. We made plans to do them another night, and you took it all in stride (which was a big relief to me, because you could have thrown a huge fit given how tired you were at the end of such a big day).
• At home we had ice cream cake. Your sister was beaming as she carried the cake to you. You took your time, and were both very serious, about making birthday wishes before blowing out your candles. I don’t know what you wished for, but I hope your wishes come true.
• We got Meera to bed, then let you stay up late — ’till 9:00! — to watch the Red Sox on tv.
• Kyle was so exhausted that he practically fell asleep when his head hit the pillow. But he stayed awake long enough to tell me that “this was the best birthday ever.”
• Owen cried in his bed because he was so sad the birthday day was over — “it only happens once a year, and it was so good, and now it will be a whole other year until it is our birthday again.”

Kyle and Owen: you were happy and content and your heart was over flowingly full of love and happiness on your 9th Birthday. I hope the next nine years are as absolutely astoundingly amazing as the past nine have been.

Love, Mommy