Recent Quotes and Conversations From the Three Bambinos:
Owen tends to be overly dramatic at times about minor injuries (which is ironic since he has the highest pain tolerance you can possibly, possibly, possibly imagine). The other day we were in the kitchen and he banged his foot on the counter by accident. It was no big deal, but he started screaming as if the world were ending. H: Owen, just remember, don’t be the boy who cried wolf. O: I’m not! I’m the boy who cried foot! * If you’ve read this blog much at all, then you know the extent to which my boys can eat. Although they are only six years old, they have genuine appreciation for the all-you-can-eat-buffet~~ K: When we grow up, me and Owen are going to live together and go out to dinner every night at a big buffet.*
Owen and Kyle have begun the life-long process of attempting to comprehend the social construction we call money. Ugh. Anyway… they really want to grasp the meaning of money, and I see them trying to wrap their heads around it. They currently have two, and only two, ways of receiving money: 1) from the tooth fairy, and 2) from MorFar, who sometimes gives them a dollar or two when he sees them. The first time they each lost a tooth, the tooth fairy left them notes telling them to “save their money for something special.” They really took that to heart and are actively trying to save money. However, since we see MorFar infrequently, and they lose teeth even more infrequently, their money-making/saving ventures are quite slow-going. That doesn’t dampen their enthusiasm for it, however! The other day I walked into the family room to find them trying to pull each others teeth out. They each have a couple loose teeth, but they are very (very!) far from being ready to come out. Overheard~~ O: Kyle, I can’t get it! I can’t get your tooth out! I really can’t! K: Come on Owen! Just yank it! Yank it as hard as you can! O: It’s stuck! K: [trying to encourage his brother to keep pulling—] Make money Owen! Let’s make money! That’s what we’re trying to do!!!!!!!!!!! *
Now that lawn-mowing season is slowing down, the boys are missing their beloved weekly ritual of harassing following the lawn-mowing guys around our yard when they come to mow. They have forever and always told us that as soon as they are old enough, they want us to buy a lawnmower and they will mow our lawn for us. We are absolutely all for that, and plan on taking them up on that offer ASAP! As far as K & O are concerned, the time cannot come soon enough. The other day~~ K: Mommy, you know what?I’m saving all my money to buy a lawnmower. I’m going to lose all my teeth and all my molars to buy it. * Fireworks are still a major topic of conversation in our house, even though the 4th of July was a whole 3 MONTHS AGO! (?!?!) The other day the three bambinos were playing in the playroom. K & O had concocted an elaborate scheme/scene wherein they were using various pieces of random toys to “set off fireworks.” Meera was enthralled with this and was playing along in her own way by continually repeating: “Fireworks! Fireworks scare me!”~~ O: [interrupting the action to get down on his knees to look Meera in the eye, totally completely sincerely—] Meera, it’s ok! Fireworks are just a part of nature!!! * Kyle and Meera were playing alone in the playroom the other day while Owen and I were making dinner. It was unusually quiet (which always makes me nervous). I yelled into the playroom “Kyle, is Meera doing ok in there?” He yelled back~~ K: Yup! She’s doing ok! Don’t worry, if a monster comes I’ll protect her!!! * We still are getting the boys up every night before we go to bed to have them pee. If we don’t do this we risk having at least one, if not two, pee-pee accidents by morning. The reduction in laundry alone is worth the hassle of getting them up. (something people without lots of experience with twins probably don’t think of much: double the pee pee accidents). The other night as we were putting them to bed~~ O: Don’t forget to wake me up to pee so that I don’t have an accident! O.k.? Oh! And yeah— get me up in the MIDDLE of the night, not the SIDE of the night, o.k.?! * The three bambinos continue to be OBSESSED with The Lion King. Even Meera, who wasn’t even at the Broadway show with us, and has barely a clue as to what The Lion King even actually is, is just as obsessed as her brothers. They put on the music and go nuts — regularly (like, almost daily). But now they do more than just play out all the parts– they plan for the future when THEY will star in the Broadway show. K & O plan to both play the part of Simba (they’ve learned that sometimes productions like to cast twins to take turns night-by-night playing one role and they think that this is a fabulous idea). The other day~~ K: O.k., Owen, you will be Simba on the even days and I will be Simba on the odd days. Right? O: Yes, that’s right. K: And what will Meera be?
O: Meera will be Nala. I figured it out! We’ll paint her skin brown with body paint! We will paint it every night! We’ll paint everything except for her private parts because nobody is allowed to see those parts anyway so they’ll never know that she’s actually white!”
* A couple of weeks ago we were watching the movie Princess and the Frog. Anyone who has seen it knows that in it there are two major female characters who, throughout the story, are close friends— Tiana (who is clearly black), and Charlotte (who is clearly white). The thing that was so fascinating to me about the following was what it reveals about K & O’s understanding of the –for them, very probable and ‘natural’– potential for black and white people to be siblings (or, apparently, even twins):
K: Owen, you see them? Tiana and Charlotte?
O: Yup. K: Remember how Papi said that they’re best friends?
O: Yup. K: Do you think that’s true or not?
O: I don’t know. K: Are they actually sisters? are they twins? O: I think so. K: I think so too. I think they are actually sisters or maybe twins.
* The first week of school I made macaroni-and-cheese for “The Swap”. Owen LOVED it and couldn’t get enough of it. At school one day that week, during pick-up, we saw Shalinee and Kavya. We were already in the car and driving out of the parking lot, but I stopped so that the boys could say hi to them from the backseat. We chatted for a minute and Shalinee mentioned that they were going to be eating the macaroni-and-cheese for dinner that night. We had eaten it the night before. Owen and Kyle got very excited, telling them how good it was and how they were going to just LOVE it! As we pulled away Owen screamed wildly out the window, “The macaroni and cheese is sooooo gooooooood! IT WILL WATER YOUR MOUTH!!!” *
One day the boys were playing in the backyard. I was watching them from our kitchen window, as I was washing dishes at the sink. They each had a big stick that they were carrying around with them the whole time — from the swings, to the sandbox, to the grass, etc. — regardless of what they were doing, they had the sticks with them. Apparently, the sticks were “spears.” Overheard~~ O: Kyle! I have to pee! I’m going to go inside to the bathroom! I’m bringing my spear!
K: Ok! O: Don’t worry, I’ll be right back! K: Ok! O: Don’t worry, Kyle! If we separate, its okay, because we have our spears! *
Now… switching gears a bit…
(I have thought a lot about this one, and still find it quite profound…) One day toward the end of the summer I was sitting at the kitchen table with all three kids while they were coloring. Out of the blue~~ K: Meera, do you want to go to Haiti? to our country? M: Sure! K: Do you want to see our country? M: Sure! K: Because we’re already seeing your country. *
Braydon and the boys, driving to the grocery store a while back– out of the blue, from the backseat~~ K: Papi, did you know that I wish I grew in Mommy’s belly? * Recently~~ K: Mommy, when I grow up I’m going to marry someone from Haiti, but we’re not going to live there because I’m too scared of earthquakes. * And… switching gears again… for the first time ever… quotes from Meera!~~~~~ The other morning I came downstairs after getting dressed for work, and as I walked into the kitchen where Meera was playing she looked up at me, her face lit up, and she exclaimed: “Mama! I like your outfit!!” (!!!!!!!! age 2.) And Meera’s current favorite choice phrases: “I got it first!” (we hear this at least 100 times a day and believe us when we say that she usually did NOT get it –whatever it is at any given moment– first). “My coming too!” (again, at least 100 times a day, trailing behind K & O no matter where they are going or how fast they are going there). After just about every single thing that she eats enters her mouth: “Delicious!” And her most used and over-used remark, for any and everything, at least 200 times a day: “Oh my gosh! Oh my goodness!” * And, saving the best for last… last but not least… my favorite…
Out of the blue one day, from Kyle to me~~
K: Mommy, I just love you so much I wish I was married with you.
In My Heart, by Molly Bang (Little Brown Books for Young Readers, 2006). This book is great on so many levels! Kyle and Owen like it a lot, and have for at least a year or two now. In the book the mama is a veterinarian and assures her young son that he is “in her heart” all the time, no matter what she is doing, even when she’s at work. The illustrations are awesome. The extra special twist is that the child in the book appears to have been adopted! He’s dark-skinned with dark hair, while both of his parents are fair-skinned with light hair. This gets it a big huge gold star in our book (no pun intended); it should go without saying that it is unique (i.e., beyond rare!) to find children’s books picturing inter-racial –apparently adoptive— families when the book’s subject isn’t specifically focused on adoption. A wonderful book for young kids with working mamas!
~~~
When Mama Comes Home Tonight, by Eileen Spinelli, illustrated by Jane Dyer (Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing, 1998). This book is a current favorite of Meera’s. We have it in the board book edition, which is just perfect for this sweet little book. In the book the mama comes home from work to enjoy simple pleasures with her toddler daughter. The reassuring message is definitely received by Meera; it seems to give her comfort to have this book read to her (and read it to her we do—over and over and over again!). A wonderful book for babies and toddlers with working mamas!
~~~
I titled this post “2 Great Children’s Books for Working Mamas” on purpose. Because, while I know these books are for kids, I’m pretty sure that –at least in this house— the Mama gets just as much out of them as the bambinos do. Happy reading!
This week was Spaghetti Squash with Marinara Sauce & Eggplant and Zucchini Couscous Rolls
This week was full of swap coincidences (it is bizarre how often these sorts of swap coincidences occur!): 1) We both made meals that were blasts from the past for us– things that we used to make way back when, but that we hadn’t made for years, and that our kids had never tried. 2) We both made meals that were totally vegetarian. 3) We both made meals that involved marinara.
The Meal:
– Spaghetti Squash with Marinara Sauce
– Basic Salad with Ranch Dressing
So, I’m experimenting this week. When we were first married, Dave and I used to have spaghetti squash quite frequently. For some reason, I haven’t made it in years and as a result, the kids have never had it! Well, given that it’s gourd season (and my local grocery store is practically giving the stuff away), I had to revisit this old favorite of ours. Plus, my younger one loves spaghetti…..so, I’ll give him “spaghetti”…worth a try!
Also, as far as swaps go…this is a really easy one to prep! All I had to do was make the marinara sauce and chop/pack the salad items! Heather will have to cut and bake the squash before dinner (detailed instructions below).
Marinara Sauce
This is my standard way of making marinara sauce. I’ve made it like this for years and years. I’m 100% sure I got the recipe from a book…can’t remember which one!
Here’s my recipe (serves 4-6):
– ~2 tablespoon olive oil
– 1 cup finely chopped onions
– 1 cup finely chopped celery
– 1 cup finely chopped carrots
– 3-4 cloves garlic finely chopped
– 1 medium tomato chopped
– 1 2 lbs. can of peeled, chopped tomatoes
– 1/2 teaspoon sugar (or to taste)
– 1 bay leaf
– 3-4 sprigs of fresh thyme
– 2 tablespoons chopped basil
– Salt, to taste
– Pepper, to taste
– 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (or to taste)
1) Heat olive oil and add onions, celery and carrots.
2) Sautee till brown at the edges.
3) Add garlic and sautee for a minute or so and then toss in the chopped tomato.
4) Sautee for two minutes and then add the canned tomatoes.
5) Lower heat and cook for a few minutes (5-7).
6) Add sugar and simmer for another 4-5 minutes.
7) Add herbs and remaining seasonings and cook for another 8-10 minutes over low heat. Remove from heat.
Here is the full dinner:
Along with the marinara sauce, there are three spaghetti squashes, a container full of good Parmesan cheese, some salad items and a (store-bought) ranch dressing.
How to Prepare the Dinner:
1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2) Cut the squashes in half (lengthwise)….seriously, this is the hardest part!
3) Scoop out the seeds and pulpy middle.
4) Line baking tray with parchment paper (or foil) and lay the squash halves (flesh side up) and drizzle olive oil, salt and pepper.
5) Turn the squash halves over (so hard skin side is up) on the parchment paper.
6) Bake for ~40-45 minutes.
7) Towards the end of baking serve salad. Also towards end of baking reheat marinara sauce in microwave.
Once done, place each individual squash-half (flesh side up) on each serving plate.
Now you have two options:
Option A: Use a fork and scrape the insides of the squash to get the spaghetti strands. Top with marinara sauce and sprinkle parmesan cheese. Serve.
or
Option B: Serve the squash on the plate as is and let the kids scrape out the noodles themselves and let them top with marinara & cheese.
In either case, enjoy!
The Verdict:
Tuesday: We mixed things up a bit this week and had Heather’s dinner first. Even though this was not a kid-tested meal, it actually went well! Kavya was complaining of a tummy ache before dinner so she didn’t really eat much but Alex ate the whole thing up (eggplants, zucchini and all!). My mom was over today and she enjoyed the dinner as much as Dave & I did..which was a lot! This is one of our favorites! Thanks, Heather!
Wednesday: They both liked the spaghetti squash! Kavya (my self-proclaimed paleontologist) found the “digging for noodles” to be JUST like “digging for dinosaur bones” so she was delighted with this meal and ate as much of it as Dave and I did. Alex wasn’t pleased with the marinara sauce (I had a suspicion he might not be so I gave him little bit only). He really liked the “noddle” part and ate that up really well. Hope it works out for you, Heather…have a backup just in case!
A fully vegetarian meal this week for the swap:
- Eggplant & Zucchini Couscous Rolls
- Hummus, with pita and baby carrots for dipping (I’ve posted about this hummus before– for my recipe, click here)
I don’t know about you, but we have more mint than we could ever know what to do with. Mint is so invasive. It has totally taken over a good portion of our front garden. I cut it and put it in vases in the house (it smells so good!). We make some rockin’ mojitos. And I try to cook with it whenever I can. Still, there is a huge over-abundance of it. In trying to think of a good way to make use of at least some of this mint, I remembered this good old dinner that I used to make years ago. I had not made it since Kyle and Owen came home (it is a relatively labor-intensive meal), so I had never tried it out on the bambinos, but I decided to give it a whirl this week for the swap.
Very good friends of ours from Boston, Jeff & Angelica, first introduced this to me. Angelica was/is a great cook, and we used to love going over to their apartment for dinner. She (Angelica) is Chilean, and would often make dinners inspired by her roots in Chile. She was also health conscious, and would often cook straight out of Eating Well or Cooking Light magazine. It was always delicious, and was inspiring– to say the least. Anyway, one night, she made this meal for us and we absolutely loved it. I can still vividly remember sitting at their table and tasting it. Isn’t it funny how food can flood your memories like that? Soon after that dinner, I ended up buying the cookbook that she found the recipe in– The Eating Well Rush Hour Cookbook— and have since made lots of recipes from it, but this one is still my favorite. I used to make it a lot for dinner guests when Braydon and I were a childless, fun-loving, fancy-free couple throwing dinner parties every-other-weekend. (ancient history!). Anyway, over the years I’ve tinkered with this recipe quite a bit. The original version was using just eggplant, but since zucchini (in addition to eggplant!) is spilling over at the same time of year as mint (!), I like to include it too. Here is my version (swap style! i.e., enough for two families!):
Eggplant & Zucchini Couscous Rolls —2 1-lb eggplants 2 1-lb zucchinis (or 4 half pound zucchinis) 2 boxes of couscous (I use Near East Roasted Garlic and Olive Oil) 6 Tbs chopped fresh mint 4 cups of a good quality marinara sauce 2 cups crumbled feta
olive oil salt —
Preheat oven to 425. Slice eggplants and zucchinis length-wise into slices about 1/3-1/2 inch thick. Salt the eggplant slices liberally on both sides, place them on paper towels, and cover with paper towels on top too (this is a trick to take the bitterness out of the eggplant– fyi: it works like a charm when making eggplant parmesan too!). Let the eggplant lie like that for awhile (anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour). Brush both sides of the eggplant and zucchini slices with olive oil. Arrange in single layers on baking sheets. Bake for 10 minutes, turn over, and bake for another 10 minutes or more, until lightly browned and tender. Remove from baking sheets and let cool. Meanwhile, cook the couscous according to package directions. Once couscous is fully cooked, mix in the mint. Lightly oil a baking dish (or– my preference, just because it looks pretty!– a circular pie dish). Get ready to assemble! Take a handful of couscous mixture and press into a small “ball” in the palm of your hand (just like making rice or couscous balls). Place couscous ball in the center of an eggplant slice, then roll up the eggplant firmly around the couscous. Place, seam-side down, in the prepared dish. Continue with all of the eggplant and zucchini slices. Cover with foil and bake for 15 minutes. Uncover, spoon marinara sauce on top, sprinkle with feta, and bake for 5 minutes more. [I like to serve this with hummus and pita slices and/or a big Greek salad.]
Date: Fri, Sep 24, 2010 at 9:09 PM Subject: the swap ———————————————–
Shalinee— Well, after a crazy week we finally had your dinner tonight. The marina was a hit, but the spaghetti squash was a bust (for the kids only). They ate (some of) it, but not by voluntarily! Our rule is that everyone has to try everything – and they all abide – but the squash was pretty touch-and-go! 😉 Funny thing is, I’ve always cooked acorn squash each fall. They eat it, and like it. I’m pretty sure that it was the texture of the spaghetti squash that threw them off. It also didn’t help that I had done as you suggested and had a “back up” waiting in the wings – real spaghetti (i.e., pasta… that they knew was available upon request). Anyway, Braydon and I loved it. My mom has always made spaghetti squash, but never prepared that way. Loved your take on it. Oh—and your marinara was awesome! EVERYONE loved that!!!!!!!!!!!! Have I mentioned lately?—I LOVE THE SWAP. Thank you! xo hbj P.S. Our three bambinos ate enough of the eggplant & zucchini rolls to make a full meal of it, but it was definitely not a favorite! Not sure they’re lovin’ the swap as much as Mama! 😉 ———————————————–
Kyle is a sweet boy. He is our poet, our author, our teller of stories. Our boy of wondering what will happen, of “what if” and making sense of the big questions: God, inequality, the meaning of war, peace, Earthquakes, death and Jesus. Even in his quests, he is beyond solid. His physical presence is something felt. Moving him is like moving a mountain. There is balance and equanimity in his every emotional motion, every wonderment. His teachers call him the center of the class, and there is a reason why.
He is a calm sea. Gentle currents.
Sailors know to respect the ocean. That although beautiful, the ocean has an undeniable strength and power that is often overlooked and misunderstood. Mountain climbers know the tallest mountains have the greatest landslides. The most mud cascades down when disturbed at the core. And you can disturb the core with a single misstep.
During the boys’ rest hour today, I took Meera out for a quick errand, while Margie finished the day. I popped her in the car, and off we went. We stopped at the store on the way home – the whole trip was about 45 minutes total; maybe less.
Heather had class tonight, so I made dinner, let the threesome (illicitly) watch a little mid-week clifford-the-big-red-dog and curious-george and then we went up stairs, Meera and Kyle had a bath (Owen elected to fore-go the bath to play with the knights) and we played. Kyle was acting a little strange, but when I asked him, he told me he was excited about ice staking lessons on Friday. Then I narrated a bit from Treasure Island. Both boys were enthralled. It was a nice night.
When Heather got home we were all thrilled to see her. It was just about time for bed, but Kyle jumped into her arms and broke down crying. A deep, deep, animal cry, penetrating and hard. A core cry – something below the surface moving and sliding the plates of the earth like so many puzzle pieces.
He was so angry that I had left him at home, not told him where I was going and had taken Meera. He was so deeply angry that he would not let me touch him, or come near him. His anger was so strong that when Owen came over to check on him, Kyle mistook him for me, lashed out with his arm and hit Owen in the mouth. He was so hurt, he ran away from me over and over. After his guttural cries subsided a bit he was able to articulate:
“You left me here and didn’t tell me where you were going”
“Papi has never done that before” “He always takes me”
“You love Meera more than me” “You meant to do that to me, you meant to hurt me”
“You left me on purpose.”
“You left me. You left me. You left me.”
He did settle down. He did recover. After he was able to deeply breathe and be ok, Heather held him, I held him. I whispered in his ear that he is my boy, that I will always love him, that I will always come back. That I was so deeply sorry to have left him. That I would never do that again (and mean it). That it was ok for him to be mad, Papi can handle that. That he is a good boy, my boy, my special boy and I love him.
He is who his is because of where he comes from. He was adopted. He was in an orphanage as a baby. Those parts of him are real and always will be. Those experiences impact who he is and how he needs to be loved. And I, and we all, have to always be aware of that.
He’s asleep now. With his twin brother.
A calm sea; with currents below the surface always there.
All Kyle.
All it took was one football game, our first of the season (Lehigh vs. Princeton on Saturday)…
…to fully turn the seasons from summer to fall. Out with the baseball, in with the football.
That game on Saturday was very inspiring… the “football outfits” have been officially dug out of the closet, the football has been located, and we find ourselves wondering, ‘if this is what it is like now, just imagine what it will be like when they are actually involved in organized sports programs.’
One day recently, at the very tail end of the summer, I took all three kids to McDonalds for lunch as a special treat for behaving (relatively) well while running errands with me that morning. We were there right at noon, in the midst of the lunch rush, and the place was packed. There were three lines leading to three registers that were all jam-packed-full and we were in the middle line. I was holding Meera on my hip and I had Kyle and Owen standing right close with me (I had threatened them, before we even got out of the car, that if they were to even think about running off into the playspace before I was done ordering our food then we would leave immediately… so they were sticking real close). Upon settling in for the long wait in line, I pretty quickly noticed that a woman in the line to our left was staring at us unabashedly. People always stare at us (in fairness, I should say, "people often stare at us," but in truth, it usually feels like always), so we are accustomed to that, but this woman was going above and beyond. I try to ignore this kind of thing, but she was standing literally less than three feet away from us, just gawking, so it was virtually impossible. Owen got up on his tippy toes, pulled my head closer to his, and whispered in my ear: "That lady right there is STARING at us." In such situations I tend to either blow it off entirely, or to try to nip it in the bud by pointedly taking a moment to look right directly at the person, give them a huge big ‘ole smile, and then keep on with our business. This usually does it and the person quickly and awkwardly smiles back (or blatantly doesn’t), and then, either way, feels self-conscious enough to quit staring. So, I nodded at Owen, whispered, "Yeah, I know!" and then did my deliberate ‘kill-’em-with-kindness-mind-your-own-business’-smile at her. With this woman, though, it had the opposite effect, and instead of looking away, in response to my smile she took a step closer to us, looked right down at the boys, and said, "Are you two boys enjoying your summer?"
She seemed like a really nice woman. I get vibes, and I pride myself in having good intuition at reading people. My immediate sense was that she was a well-meaning, sweet person who self-identified as "Liberal" (capital ‘L; she was wearing an organic-cotton-looking t-shirt with a nature print silk-screened onto it and her accessories and shoes and hair cut were screaming ‘funky’/’hip’/’green’ etc., etc., etc….. just trust me: she was looking very "I voted-for-Obama-and-I-recycle-and-I-LOVE-DIVERSITY"-ish. Don’t get me wrong: most of the people we associate with are these types, and I myself voted for Obama, recycle, and love diversity too… this is no slam against her whatsoever). She looked like she was about my mom’s age and reminded me of many people that we know and love. My initial thought was, ‘She’s just trying to be super friendly and act super supportive of our inter-racial adoptive family’…. and honestly, at that point, I was thinking, ‘she’s probably about to tell me that her grandchildren are bi-racial or something.’ This happens sometimes, and as awkward as it can be, I actually like those sorts of interactions with people because –quite frankly– they feel a lot better than some other (less kind) ones, and I’ve come to believe that it is best to just be up front about it all whenever humanly possible. It turned out, though, that this interaction was not going where I thought it was going.
As soon as she said, "Are you two boys enjoying your summer?" Owen looked right up at her and said, "Yes, we are enjoying our summer! Are you enjoying your summer?" She was exuberantly delighted with him and responded right away, "Oh! Why, yes! I am, thank you! What good manners you have talking so nicely with a grown-up!" It was semi-condescending, but I was getting really close to the register at this point and was starting to get distracted by what to order. I then heard her say, "So what have you boys been doing out here?" Out here??? Kyle and Owen were slightly confused, but Owen said, "We’ve been shopping." "Oh," she said, "how nice for you!" (She then looked right at me and winked, and I really started to feel like something was not totally clear here). Trying to do friendly reciprocation, Kyle said to her, "So, what have you been doing here?" "Oh!," she laughed, tossing her head back with delight, "Well, you see, I live here! Just like this nice lady here!" (motioning toward me). At this point the boys were lost in translation (as was I), and surely all three of our facial expressions showed it. Still, she went on, "It must be nice for you two boys to be out here. How long are you two here for?" At this point the boys were completely disoriented. They looked up at me with bewildered looks. I looked down at them, my mind spinning fast, trying to get a grip on what she was talking about, searching for an understanding as to what was going on. And then it clicked: something that I had not yet encountered and had never really thought of— but I knew instantly that I was right— it pounded through my brain— she thinks they are Fresh Air Fund kids.
Ugh. I looked up from them, and across to her. Before I could speak she said to me, "They’re from the city, right? I am such a supporter of these kinds of programs! Kudos to you!!!" I felt my face flush. My mind was rushing. Meera was squirming in my arm. The McDonalds guy at the register was telling me it was my turn to order. Owen and Kyle were looking up at me, completely and totally confused with blank faces. The woman was looking me right in the eyes with her huge dramatically approving smile. And I felt like everyone within ear shot (which was easily a dozen people) were watching and listening to this whole scene unfold.
I looked at the guy at the register and said, as clearly and as loudly as possible, "My two sons will each have a Happy Meal please. My son Kyle wants chicken nuggets, french fries, and chocolate milk. My son Owen wants chicken nuggets, apples, and chocolate milk…." and I proceeded to place the rest of our order. I’m sure my voice was trembling. I know I was breaking out in a sweat. I had no idea how I should be handling the situation. This was one that I hadn’t seen coming.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see that the lady was shocked at the revelation that they were my sons. She was blushing bright red and avoiding any and all eye contact.
While we waited for our order I whispered something to the boys about how she "thought we were from the city" and she was "very confused" or something like that. (They have no idea what the Fresh Air Fund is, nor do they need to learn about it in this context.) And then we were off to playing in the indoor playground and eating Happy Meals. They were entirely unfazed. But then again, they are just barely six. It won’t be long until they ‘get it’ more. And indeed, they are ‘getting it’ more and more all the time.
I watched them in the McDonald’s playspace with a perfect spectrum of earth-tone-colored kids. This particular McDonalds draws a very racially diverse group, and that day — like the other handful of times we’ve been there — it appeared that most skin tones were represented. That is, after all, one of the primary reasons I take us there. The boys made friends fast and a wild game of tag quickly got going. But as I looked around I was reminded that although there were lots of families represented there, even one with a black dad and a white mom and two beautiful bi-racial kids, there was not one other that actually looked like us.
And so it goes, as us, out there in the field of real life.
Meera has been very forlorn and feeling left out since K & O started school last week. She really loved having them home all summer and despite how much we tried to prepare her for their back-to-school (and her back-to-big-chunk-of-the-day-without-them), she hasn’t taken it very well. Each morning after they get on the bus she begs us to “follow them” and talks non-stop about “Ky Ky and Ow Bo at school.” Finally, today, was her first day of Garden Gate. Garden Gate – or “Baby Day,” as Meera, and therefore we all five, call it – is a once-a-week parent-and-child class offered at our Waldorf School. I did this with Meera during this past spring semester and we loved it. So, we signed up for it again for this fall. It makes my life crazy to do this kind of thing (I pay for the time “off” by working late, late, late nights), but it is so worth it. I feel extremely grateful to have a career that allows for such flexibility in my work schedule. And I feel extremely grateful too that Meera gets to spend her early childhood with a tenured-Mommy (as opposed to poor K & O who had to spend their earliest years with a tenure-track-Mommy). Anyway, today was Meera’s first day and she was so happy to finally be the one going back to school. She was very cute this morning, all nervous and anxious about her big first day of Baby Day (she even had a massive clothing crisis at the last minute – insisting on a ‘“pink dress” with no such dress to be found… we finally appeased her by letting her wear her new fall “dressy coat”), but as soon as we got there she warmed right up and was the happy-go-lucky charmer that she tends to be. Even though we originally landed in the Waldorf world because of how it fit so well with K & O’s needs, it turns out to be a really great fit for Meera too — I could write so much more, but, it is 11:20pm and I am just totally exhausted and needing to get ready for bed. Big day for the baby girl (and I guess for the Mama too).
I am really excited about going live with you all and finally revealing our “new” blog! The part of this newness, though, that I’m most excited about is the category “The Swap.” Be sure to click on the right-hand sidebar to read “About the Swap.” I think that you’re all going to agree that this is an awesome idea–especially (but not exclusively, by any stretch of the imagination!, for working moms)!
Shalinee and I started The Swap (that’s just what we’ve come to call it) six months ago. I’ve often wanted to blog about it, but conscientiously didn’t. Honestly, it has been so good that I was afraid that I’d jinx it if I were to write about it. But I also wanted to be sure that it was a real-deal, set-in-stone, fully-functioning thing before I started going all goo-goo and ga-ga about it in the blogosphere. But, I’m here now to attest, folks, that this is the real-deal. Shalinee and I have been going strong with The Swap, every week, since March. And it has – literally – changed my life. For the better. This is the best thing that’s happened to our dual-career, never-a-dull-moment, fast-paced-but-good-food-loving family in a long, long time.
The pragmatics of this are brilliant and all I can think is, “How come we didn’t come up with this earlier?” and, “Did we really come up with this?!” (we’ve researched it and found that some other people are doing kind-of-sort-of-similar things, but nothing quite exactly like what we’re doing). But, I mean, really… if you’re going to take the time to make homemade salad dressing, why not make two batches instead of one? Right?
And really… the nights that you most need a home-cooked, lovingly-made, warm meal, ready-in-minutes are on those week-nights when life feels like pure chaos and you don’t even have 20 minutes to get dinner on the table. Those are, precisely, the nights when you are least likely to manage to pull off that good and lovely home-made meal. Unless… of course… you made it on Monday night in preparation for the long week ahead. And made double to swap with a friend. And when, on earth (on earth!!!), would you ever be able to make grilled shish-ka-bobs and revved up loaded-with-fruits-and-veggies couscous unless it were for something like The Swap?
Aside from all these positively practically-perfect pragmatics, though, perhaps the most awesome side-effect of The Swap has been that my family has had the privilege of being recipient to a whole other world of cuisine… food lovingly prepared, from scratch, and with care, by our really good friend. And we’ve been gifted this gift of being able to eat Shalinee’s home-made food. My kids are exposed to good-food-x-2… which just means that their palates are expanded exponentially. Which, like I said, is an awesome side-effect. (Photos below = J-M’s weeknight dinners 1st week of June… Indian food prepared by Shalinee one night and Cali-Mexi food prepared by Heather another night). Awesome times two. And… just for the record… never would have happened(not even close!) if it weren’t for The Swap.
In truth, however, what has turned out to be the #1 best part of the swap – by far – has been the fusing of the friendship of Shalinee and I. We have so much in common (don’t even get us started!!!!!), but this Swap thing has really cemented it for us. When you’re a working mom, with a big career to foster and maintain, and young kids who make your heart pitter-patter, the thing that often flies out the window first (in my and Shalinee’s experience, at least) is good close nearby friends. The Swap has pulled us as tight as tight can be. And that is great for us (great!!!!!). But, going even further, an unintended result has been that it has been great for our families as well. We are not “alone” in our dinner plight (or life plight) any longer. We are totally entwined with Shalinee and her family. And that, my blog-reader-friends, is very cool. K, O, and M see – every week – not just that Mommy has a really, really good friend (!), but they see, first hand, what it means to be a really, really good friend to — and with — another.
I love this picture (above), not because it is a good picture (it isn’t; it is a terrible picture!), but because it is so symbolic. There we are, Shalinee and I, sitting on the playground of our kids’ Waldorf School, discussing life in its entirety. I love that the contrasts are so clear—she’s wearing dark and light, I’m wearing light and dark; her hair’s black, my hair’s blond; she’s Indian, I’m Scandanavian. But we’re both ‘young’ tenured female professors at a top-tier research university; we’ve both got our kids at that crazy school; we’ve both got ridiculously over-achieving husbands; we’re both committed to trying to feed our families well; and we’ve both got our hair in ponytails. That picture was taken right at the end of Spring Semester 2010. We were both exhausted from an academic year that was full of challenge and joy times two. But there we were – talking about The Swap and everything else in our worlds.
I’m so excited to share The Swap with you. I hope you enjoy following along each week as much as I think you might. And I hope that you’ll find some inspiration in this so that there will be a ripple-effect-of-goodness from this thing. Just like some of the family meals that Shalinee and I have been making these past six months… The swap seems too good to not share it.
Enjoy!!!
P.S. In anticipation of the “new” blog going live, Shalinee and I have been doing blog posts re: The Swap for the past three weeks. So, if you click on “The Swap” tab at the top of the blog, you’ll see three weeks worth of Swap already ready for reading!
In Kyle’s immortal words: “It’s up, it’s up, it’s up! It’s a high fly ball to center field!!!” And “Never a Dull Moment” is here – welcome to our “new” blog! And thank you so very much for all the input and feedback – that was pretty amazing and humbling.
So, In addition to updating the blog in a way we felt good about, we really tried to incorporate comments from everyone. Some of that will be reflected in what we post about, and some is more structural (as noted below). We’ll also be posting plenty of pictures, just a little more careful than we were – but not fewer!
Also, in October we’ll be doing another “Open Book” post and we’ll be answering lots of questions then, and we’re looking forward to it!
In any case, here is a brief run down of the “new” blog. Please let us know what you think.
- A nicer look: with a new header and cleaner lines! We’ll keep this one fresh for fun. The tree photo is not here, but we’ll try to find a place for it. Also, we’ve taken a lot out of the side to make it easier to read for now. One day we’ll do a totally custom site, but for now we’re pretty happy with it.
- Find content easier: Check out the categories above (eg: “Bambinos”). These should make it easier to find posts that may interest you
- Find other content you’ll like: Speaking of interest…. at the bottom of each post are a few other posts loosely related that you might also like. Easy to click and read, and read, and read, and read.
- Get it in your blog reader: For everyone who emailed about your RSS reader – yes it’s back – you can get RSS feeds now. Phew!
- Sharing the love: There is a little button at the bottom of each post – share this – you can use it to add to your facebook page, twitter, etc. If you think people you know would like that post (like our adoptive family friends who have friends who want to adopt), use that to share.
- Start the conversation: When you comment, not only can you subscribe to the comment feed, but you can carry on a dialog with others with threaded comments. So, when you want to reply to a specific person’s comment, feel free – the comment is specific to the reply – so go for it!
- Logon how you like: We still require logon for comments (and user validation too), but now you can logon using your old Five Free Spirits ID, or via lots of social networks – however you want to logon – feel free!
Lastly – we’re thinking of adding community features, but want to see if you think it’s a good idea. With a community, not only can you see who the other members are, but you can see what they write/comment, what they like, who they respond too and a little about them.
There would also be forums that users can logon and contribute to as well (with topics that you create and are interested in). Is this something you would find valuable at all – any part of it? If not, then we won’t do it, but if so, then we’ll put it in.
Please let us know what you think and if you have other suggestions – we really, really appreciate all the input!
Now that K & O are back to school, Friday mornings are “Meera And Me” time. I had promised her that on this, our first Friday, we’d paint. And paint we did. With watercolors. For, like, a solid hour. I am pretty sure that is longer than the entire time –combined– that the boys and I have ever managed to sustain painting with watercolors. Anyhoo… it was fun. Really fun! Even when she veered off into body painting, it was fun. Finally (!) I have my artsy-craftsy-companion in the family! It is about time!
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