BAMBINOS

On Friday we discovered that a mama bird had laid her nest in an outside window sill of the UC (“UC” = University Center, a building at the center of Lehigh’s campus). If we held the bambinos up, they could see through the window to the nest — giving a clear view of the mama and her baby. Saturday afternoon we returned to check in on the nest. Mama was away, and we could clearly see her two baby birds. Such a spectacular and rare sight to see!

Lehigh peeps: this is the window in the stairwell between the 2nd & 3rd floors, on the far right corner (right side if you are looking up at the UC from the UC Lawn) — go check it out before these birds fly away!

I’ve often joked that Dash is “The Resident Sayre Therapy Dog”… but the truth is, it is only a tiny bit joke, and it is mostly 100% serious.

This puppy is not a trained or certified Therapy Dog. But I can’t imagine better training than full immersion socialization — he’s been in pseudo-training from the minute we brought him home as a baby pup — Dash knows no other life than living on campus, in the dorm, with students. He knows their rhythms, their moods, their coming-and-going. He knows which ones want to run around outside and play with him, which ones have treats in their apartments for him, and which ones just want to sit on the floor and cuddle with him. And, honest-to-God, I’m pretty sure he knows when it is Final Exam Period.

Dash has been working hard this week — providing therapy/emotional-support/stress-reduction for the students he knows and loves. The 200 or-so Sayre-residents-and-their-friends/boyfriends/girlfriends/study-partners often seek him out for comfort. He spends much of his day being petted by students who come to him shaky and stressed out, and leave a little bit less so.

I’ve watched this week as students come looking for him. I’ve watched as students text their roommates to let them know “Dash is outside!” I’ve watched students pull out their cell phones and call their friends, saying, “Hurry! Come quick! Dash is here!” One student came to me this week, to tell me that she’s concerned about her roommate — “She’s so stressed out, I’m really worried about her, do you think she could spend some time with Dash today?”

Dash is a good puppy. He soaks it all up (I don’t know who’s benefiting more: Dash or the students), and he takes it in stride. He knows no other life. And he’s very good at what he does. Every dorm should have a Dash.

These two are about to turn 10. Double digits. Doubled.

Each year I get really emotional in the days leading up to their birthday. Each year I think it will wear off as they get older and the distance between their birth and present-day grows further. It seems that the profound grief and the profound joy should wear off somehow. But no. Not at all. It is not happening that way… Instead, it seems, I feel it even more deeply as the complexity of who they are reveals itself more and more clearly by the year.

These two. They made me a mother. But I owe it all to their mother. She did right by them. She did right by me. And the honor and the privilege is all mine.

I feel the gravity of it more profoundly as each year I watch these boys grow into the most amazing people imaginable. Beyond imaginable actually. It is all beyond imaginable.

Classes ended Friday. We’re now in the study period; exams begin tomorrow morning. On a 1-to-10 scale, the stress level around here is about a 10. On a 1-to-10 scale, the need for some TLC and homey-comfort-food is about a 10.

These students-friends-neighbors of ours have captured our hearts this year. And we will miss them so much when they go… which is… fast approaching. The rule is that they must move out within 24 hours of the completion of their last exam; and everyone must be gone by May 9th. I get a little bit weepy thinking about it (seriously, I do), and I know the bambinos struggle greatly with the Move Out. The sentimental end-of-year emotions have begun to ramp up.

So, tonight, we hosted an End of Year Dinner for Sayre residents.

They came. And they came hungry. About 60 of these beautiful-people-that-we-have-the-privilege-of-knowing showed up with huge smiles on their faces and so many ‘Thank You’s’ — if nothing else, these students appreciate good food. And they appreciate too a little oasis — a little homey home, a big hug, some comfort food, some kids to make them laugh, a puppy to pet — these things allow them to escape the stress, if even for a brief hour in their week. And the fact that we live with them makes it so easy in so many ways.

My gosh do we ever love these people.

They overflowed our tiny apartment and started bringing their plates of food into the lounge.

Our family of five has come to love these Sayre gatherings. Over the past two years we’ve hosted many of them. We’re learning more and more all the time about how to do these things; how to make them easy for us and for the students. We’re getting better at it as we go. At this point, they don’t feel like a hassle for us at all — but instead, they feel truly enjoyable.

Of course, I have to acknowledge the fact that Lehigh Catering makes it so darn easy for us. The food tonight was so good. And so plentiful: green beans with mushrooms, real mac-n-cheese, meatloaf with tomato gravy, buttermilk fried chicken with sage gravy… two sets of all of it (there were two pans of everything you see below)… and everything went.

Plus salad, bread, apple pie (5 oversized pies!), ice cream… gone. If there is one thing I’ve learned in the past two years it is this: college students can eat, and they don’t want cheap pizza and pasta— they want real, good food. And you know what? These amazing kids who ate it up?… they deserve it… and they appreciate it. I love feeding them.

It was a bittersweet ending to a great 2nd year in Sayre. The next 10 days will be a bit emotional for the J-Ms as we watch our neighbors move out. Some of them will graduate, some will go off for Study Abroad, some will live elsewhere on-or-off-campus next year, and some will return to Sayre. But we know that, no matter what, the end of the academic year is the end of a definitive chapter for us.

We’re learning to turn the pages, and anticipate the next chapter, and remember so fondly the previous chapters — but we’re also pretty good at enjoying the chapter that we’re in. So, we celebrate the end of the year, but I know I speak for all of us when I say that I have a little lump in my throat choking back tears as I think about all that we’ve come to love this year, and all that we will miss.

~ ~ ~

A big thank you to Lehigh Catering for another year of fabulous food in Sayre.

And a big thank you to Lehigh’s Office of Residence Life for funding another year of excellent events in Sayre.

2 dozen eggs + only 1 big egg-dye-spilling-disaster = our best Easter Egg Decorating experience ever!

Happy Easter!

Kyle and Owen are in their glory!

Today Meera had a special Mystery Reader – her brothers!

As we stood outside the door the kindergarteners asked their questions and attempted to figure out these mysterious two.

“Is is a parent?”   ~No

“Is it a girl?” ~No

“Is it a boy?” ~Yes

In there somewhere there was a hint it was more than one. 

“Is their hair black?”  ~Yes

“Are they boys?” ~Yes

“Do they have dreadlocks?!?” ~Yes (that would be Meera who asked)

Meera’s class loved Please, Puppy, Please, by Spike Lee; one of Kyle and Owen’s (and Meera’s favorites).

They had lots of positive things to say:

“I liked how they showed the pictures while reading.”

“I liked how they took turns reading pages.”

“I liked how they [the teacher helped out] used expression when reading”

But the happiest was Meera

Well, here we are in the middle of April. Like every year, the angst is fully in place. It comes like a tornado that you can see moving in your direction — you can take shelter, but you cannot truly avoid it, and you just hold out hope that there isn’t too much destruction once you come up for air in the wake of its path. I know this month is coming, I try to gear myself up for it, I try to mentally prepare our whole family for it. But nothing seems to help the absolute overwhelming nature of my life (and thus, my family’s life) in April. It is the end of what is — for me individually, and for all 5 of us J-Ms — a long year. We give the whole of ourselves. And now, living on campus, that is muti-faceted and multi-dimensional, and multi-insanity-producing in so many, many ways — not just for me, but for all 5 of us. By now, I am done. By now, we are done. But the cram and push (while running on fumes) to finish out the year is a major production. It is like the last leg of an Iron Man Triathlon. The kids still have 2 months of school, but I have only 2 weeks of classes left, and the academic year is imploding like a volcano in the weeks that are our April. Right now it feels like a pressure cooker. Wrapping up classes is the least of my concerns. The up-till-midnight-working, burning-the-candle-at-both-ends, 18-hour-work-days, eating-on-the-run, catch-as-catch-can, no-room-to-breath-let-alone-sit-down-for-5-minutes…. all of that right now is the result of things like committee work wrapping up, council reports deadlines looming, numerous events to attend, other events to plan/implement/host, meetings (so many meetings) requiring full attention, lots and lots of people to attend to, academic reviews to be done, work to be completed, a huge stack of grading, etc., etc., etc. Oh, yeah, and there’s the kids’ birthday parties to plan. And Little League; swimming lessons; violin lessons. I sit in a meeting for an hour, and exit the room to see that I’ve received 34 new email in the 1 hour away from the screen. I dread checking it when I wake up in the morning (a ridiculous portion of my emails from students arrive while I’m sleeping). I’m drowning in email. My calendar is packed back-to-back (sometimes, scarily enough, double – or even triple – booked). The To Do lists are long. The days are long. The sleep is short. The chances to get to the grocery store are few (related: I’ve eaten eggs for dinner, after the kids have gone to bed, for the past 3 nights in a row). The blog is always the first thing to go. And thus, …my absence here. I’m not complaining about any of this… just being real. I think it is important to chronicle the joy and the angst. I’m dreaming of the beach, evenings drinking wine, and days in the sun watching my bambinos collect sand dollars and float on their backs and play in the waves with their mom looking on with nothing pressing to do but to watch them.

You know that old saying, “March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb”…? Well, this year, for us, March came in like a lion and out like a lion. There was no lamb, no soft-edges, no cushiony buffer; March was a jam-packed, high-intensity, chock-full month of madness! So much good stuff, hard stuff, mediocre stuff, all crammed into such a little month. And as in so many of my catch-all, catch-up blog posts, I’m going to just put the hard (and bad) stuff — and even the mediocre (and mundane) stuff — purposefully on the margins, to hone in on the good stuff that was packed into our lioness (and lion-esque) month of March.

We went on a big trip to Anguilla with MorMor & MorFar, Stina, Mark, Sadie, and Lukasz. I’ll eventually post about that (huge amazing special) trip another time. That’s when my blog silence began (side note: thanks to ALL who have reached out to me worried about why I’ve been MIA on the blog for so long). There is a lot to say about that trip. But, for now, I’ll just say that the travel for that trip was unbelievably rough and rocky — a great time in Anguilla was book-ended by horrendous travel problems on both sides. But can I just say?… our bambinos would easily win the prize for Best Travelers Ever. Not even one complaint, fuss, or even “when will we get there?” from any of the three of them!

Meera jumps, into the hotel pool, EB Hotel Miami , 2pm (we got stuck in Miami on the way there, for 24 hours) ~

Owen & Kyle, in the Charlotte airport, 5am (we got stuck in Charlotte overnight on the way home, and got only 4 hours of sleep that night) ~

And yeah, like I said, the in-between of those travel nightmares was a travel fantasy; beautiful Anguilla ~

Ironically enough, as we were pulling out of the gym parking lot from that final basketball game (literally), we got a phone call from the baseball coach notifying us of their first Little League practice of the season. Out with the old, and in with the new; new season, new sport. And suddenly, basketball is ancient history and it is all baseball all the time. What a difference a year makes!— our little sluggers are now a little bit bigger sluggers. They are so fun to watch!

As for Braydon, this is what he thought of March (too much, too fast, too packed, too lion-ish) ~

Dash. He’s our saving grace (cute, fluffy, and unconditionally loving no matter how much madness is packed into one month), and he is BFFs with Meera Grace ~

Sometimes you just gotta have a little spa treatment (this crazy thing originated here – click).

Last night I took Meera to see the Moscow Festival Ballet’s performance of The Sleeping Beauty. It was absolutely exquisite in every way.

The boys had basketball practice, so the plan was for Braydon to take them while I gave Meera a very special night out. She’s 5.5, this was her first ballet, and I was not sure how it would go. I had explained to her repeatedly that there wouldn’t be any words, and she seemed to understand the concept of “dancing out” the story. She’s currently taking a Creative Movement class after school once a week, so she gets the concept of expression through movement. And she knows the story of Sleeping Beauty inside and out (it has always been her favorite princess story). But I still wasn’t sure how we’d fare (plus, it started at 8pm, which is already 1/2 hour past her bedtime; and it was a Friday — the end of a tiring week). I figured if she made it to intermission and got even some enjoyment out of it, we’d be golden.

I had hoped for, but could not have expected, what happened. She was enchanted and thrilled and enthralled by the entire production. At many moments the ballet literally took her breath away, and she’d audibly gasp so that several of the beautiful, ballet-loving, gray-haired men and women in the audience around us would smile and nod in delight (there were very few children in the audience). I’m not sure who enjoyed the ballet more— Meera, or those gentle arts-adoring seniors surrounding us who got so much joy in sharing Meera’s first ballet with her and me (several came to me after the show and commented on how “lovely” and “wonderful” it was to see me take my young child to such a production; and how they were sure she’d remember it for the rest of her life).

Meera made it through the whole show, finally giving up and falling asleep sitting upright in her chair in the last five minutes. But for the first two hours she leaned over to me and whispered, “This is awesome!” at least a half dozen times. She adored it.

I had brought a small pair of binoculars, thinking Meera might like to use them a bit. She kept them hung around her neck throughout the entire ballet and watched at least 2/3 of the performance through them. She notices every detail— the costumes, the jewelry, the pink jewels adorning the silver crown on Princess Aurora, the gold sparkled belt on the Prince, what color tights they are all wearing, the turquoise feathers in the hand-held fan of the queen, the smoke marking the entrance and exit of Maleficent. I appreciate how much she appreciates it all.

I got so much enjoyment from the ballet too — but for me, at least half of that joy came from experiencing it with my arts-loving daughter.

We haven’t done any promotion on our blog, since it’s really a family record and our way of remembering these years of parenting our young kids. I guess we mostly spend our time trying to be good parents, and making progress in our work. I’d like to say that we also have tons of creative hobbies and a super, active social life, but you know that’s not true!

And one of the things we, and lots of American parents, are thinking about and dealing with, is how much technology our kids are using on a daily basis. Tablets, cell phones, computers, streaming media, television; the screen engagement is tremendous.  In years past, there was the “sweet 16” and the new-found freedom of getting a drivers license and maybe a car. But today it seems that most teens would take a smartphone over a vehicle. Freedom has taken on a new form.  And it’s a form that is staring us all in the face…literally.

But when our adult heads are down in our phones for email, facebook, texting or amazon and our kids need to use iPads in the class, and our music is coming from the phone plugged into the stereo, or we can finish a movie on the TV that we started on a tablet, and the moment we’re not connected is a moment of fear and trepidation of missing something, what do we do?

What do we do when we look up from our screens and see our 5 year old staring at a screen just the way we do?  What do we do when we hear our parents’ nagging voice in our heads to move away from the TV, that our heads will turn to mush, that you’ve exceeded your 2 hour cartoon limit, that you need to go outside and play?  How do we handle that with our own kids?

Alex and Alexa asked us to chime in on this very question in a Google Hangout, and it was something I felt would be a great conversation to have. Join us Thursday at 1:30 PM EDT to find out if we have anything worthwhile to say about it.

Click here to see it, or just watch it here:

We each drove three hours to meet up halfway between where we both live. 2 moms, 3 boys, for a Mother&Son Getaway. We checked into the hotel and proceeded directly to the pool. The Haitian Sensations swam and played like there was no tomorrow. Their moms put their feet up, drank rum punch, and talked like there was no tomorrow. The pool closed at 11pm, so we called it a day. We slept in cozy beds, in rooms that we didn’t have to clean. We woke up the next morning, ate a breakfast that we didn’t have to make, and then hit the pool again (substituting coffee for rum punch).

From check-in to check-out we never left that hotel once. We planned it perfectly: we planned to do nothing but spend some time together. By the time we left, the boys were convinced that they are biological cousins. And the moms were re-reminded that real-deal-friendship is the key to getting through life relatively whole-and-intact. It was a combined total of approximately 12 hours driving time. For one night away. But that Mother&Son Getaway was priceless. I’d do it again in a heartbeat, and I’d drive double the distance. It was that good, for us all.

Love you Erin & Geoff! xoxox

Meera: “ I love fashion! I love pretty, fancy things! I’m addicted to fashion!”

She even cooks (for a crowd no less!) in fashion~~